The sun is shining bright today
     I wish the rain would go away
I feel the warmth within it's rays
     If only this coldness wasn't here to stay

By it's light I am blinded
       To the dark I am binded
In the sky a ball of fire
         By the darkness I was sired
It brilliantly lights the days
          But in darkness I'm forced to lay

The sun was God given
           My darker life has risen
I can see the light touch my skin
            Darkness is all that is within
It gives my skin a beautiful glow
             I'm to far down the rabbit hole

The sun was shining very bright
In that very darkened night
He loved me with all his hate
Light as a feather under all his weight
Broken into pieces, he left me whole
I was blinded by the light in his black soul

The sun was shining very bright
In that very darkened night
He loved me with all his hate
Light as a feather under all his weight
Broken into pieces, he left me whole
I was blinded by the light in his black soul

The sun was shining very bright
In that very darkened night
He loved me with all his hate
Light as a feather under all his weight
Broken into pieces, he left me whole
I was blinded by the light in his black hole

The sun is shining bright today
     I wish the rain would go away
I feel the warmth within it's rays
     If only this coldness wasn't here to stay

By it's light I am blinded
       To the dark I am binded
In the sky a ball of fire
         By the darkness I was sired
It brilliantly lights the days
          But in darkness I'm forced to lay

The sun was God given
           My darker life has risen
I can see the light touch my skin
            Darkness is all that is within
It gives my skin a beautiful glow
             I'm to far down the rabbit hole

Why does the sun go down
Every time you're not around
I tend to fall apart, every time you leave
All I can do is think of you, without you my heart just grieves

There you go, there you stay
Keeping my love an arm's length away
Please babe you don't have to be afraid
You don't have to keep up your masquerade

If you keep pushing I might not remain
Please look past your old pain
Just look into my eyes and say my name
It's not the same
I'm not her, I won't rip your heart into
Leave you for dead and blue

Can you not see that in my eyes, can you not feel that in my touch
How I love you so very much
Now without you I'm so lost
How much will you make me pay for my love, what will be the cost

Let me know
Are you gonna let me go
Or should I stay
Fight for love one more day

The ground beneath her is shaking
Her world again is rearranging
The stars and moon are falling, crashing to the earth
The sun to light had given birth
But the sun imploded
Leaving no motive
So there she stands in the inky black nothing
Eye's wide open, but seeing not a thing
No voices, not even in her brain
It all happened so fast it was insane
One minute a beautiful blue sky day
The next it all lay in decay
Blackness so heavy it's hard to move
But slowly she makes her way, she finds a groove.
In her pocket she finds the pills
To cure the oppressive ills
She finds a place beside a dark shattered star
Lies down beside it, they both are marred
She thows her arm around it felling only coldness
But at lest to something it is closeness
For love brought on this destruction
So from the dark star she will get her fluxion
Because it will never leave her side
As long as she has money to buy

The ground beneath her is shaking
Her world again is rearranging
The stars and moon are falling, crashing to the earth
The sun to light had given birth
But the sun imploded
Leaving no motive
So there she stands in the inky black nothing
Eye's wide open, but seeing not a thing
No voices, not even in her brain
It all happened so fast it was insane
One minute a beautiful blue sky day
The next it all lay in decay
Blackness so heavy it's hard to move
But slowly she makes her way, she finds a groove.
In her pocket she finds the pills
To cure the oppressive ills
She finds a place beside a dark shattered star
Lies down beside it, they both are marred
She thows her arm around it felling only coldness
But at lest to something it is closeness
For love brought on this destruction
So from the dark star she will get her fluxion
Because it will never leave her side
As long as she has money to buy

There in the middle of the forest stands a massive tree, it's trunk and branches so white
It was as dazzling bright as the full moon in the darkest inky night
With leaves the brightest sapphire blue
They covered every branch and shined like the rarest jewel

It's where all the broken hearted go
To set beneath it's branches, and shed their tears of woe
The tears of sorrow is what waters this mighty tree
The agony gives life and color to the most beautiful leaves there will ever be

So if you come across this tree, or even seek it out
Linger for awail, look up at it's beauty that pain has brought about
If your heart is aching from loss, or from being broken
Cry, let your tears fall, let it be the token
Let it's magic turn your tragedy and agony
Into the rarest form of beauty this world will ever see

The light cut the dark like a steel bladed razor
Straight through the vain, straight to the heart of it
The truth has such a savory flavor
Once what was hidden in the depth of the pit
Is dragged into the light
Although it can be painful and tough like denim
Like a snake bite
It might still hurt,but it will lose it's venom
So let us air out our closets
Finally give them skeletons a proper burial
You know where to make your deposit
Let us all acknowledge our pain, and give it the proper memorial
For the truth is crimson red
And it bleeds us out in the dark of night
No need to carry it to our deathbed
Just put it in the light

Once upon a time in the days of old
There lived a very ugly troll
But her heart was made of gold

Her body was round and lumpy
Her brow furrowed and grumpy
She always stood all slumpy

She was abandoned as soon as she was born
For her mother had looked upon her with scorn
For with beauty she was not adorned

She was wrapped in a towel and placed under a bridge
Right up there on that little ridge
She was nothing then but a little smidge

The forest creatures insteed of eating her up
Raised her as a cub
They even shared with her their grub

The wolf taught of graces
The vultures, patience
The skunk, fragrances

The mouse taught of need
The crow, greed
The fox, speed

She lived in an ugly house of mud
Just like her the outside was a dud
But wow the inside of that hut could warm your blood

Late one night came a knock on her door
It was a knight in shining armor complete with sword
Battle weary, and badly gourd

She took him in and sewed up he's wounds
He looked longingly in her eyes, she thought loved had bloomed
But in reality she unknowingly sealed her doom

For he had seen her heart of gold
Please excuse me, this is where the tale turns cold
For this knight was not so nice, he had a heart of mold

Late that same darkened night
He unsheathed his sharpest knife
And plunged in the troll's chest just right

With a wailing mournful cry
Right there in her hut she would die
In that fleeting moment that sparkle left her eye

That knight cut out that gloden heart
It was so huge he had to put it on a cart
He didn't feel bad, what an ugly troll was he's only thought

The animals came to see what was that screaming sound
The wolfs smelled around
Nose to the ground
Off to hunt that evil knight down

The vultures did what they do, and ate her remains
The crows joined in and did the same
The mice and the fox just ran around all insane

The moral to this story is an ugly body can hold a heart of gold
But this world is very, very cold
So be very careful with your heart and to who it is you show

Once upon a time in the days of old
There lived a very ugly troll
But her heart was made of gold

Her body was round and lumpy
Her brow furrowed and grumpy
She always stood all slumpy

She was abandoned as soon as she was born
For her mother had looked upon her with scorn
For with beauty she was not adorned

She was wrapped in a towel and placed under a bridge
Right up there on that little ridge
She was nothing then but a little smidge

The forest creatures insteed of eating her up
Raised her as a cub
They even shared with her their grub

The wolf taught of graces
The vultures, patience
The skunk, fragrances

The mouse taught of need
The crow, greed
The fox, speed

She lived in an ugly house of mud
Just like her the outside was a dud
But wow the inside of that hut could warm your blood

Late one night came a knock on her door
It was a knight in shining armor complete with sword
Battle weary, and badly gourd

She took him in and sewed up he's wounds
He looked longingly in her eyes, she thought loved had bloomed
But in reality she unknowingly sealed her doom

For he had seen her heart of gold
Please excuse me, this is where the tale turns cold
For this knight was not so nice, he had a heart of mold

Late that same darkened night
He unsheathed his sharpest knife
And plunged in the troll's chest just right

With a wailing mournful cry
Right there in her hut she would die
In that fleeting moment that sparkle left her eye

That knight cut out that gloden heart
It was so huge he had to put it on a cart
He didn't feel bad, what an ugly troll was he's only thought

The animals came to see what was that screaming sound
The wolfs smelled around
Nose to the ground
Off to hunt that evil knight down

The vultures did what they do, and ate her remains
The crows joined in and did the same
The mice and the fox just ran around all insane

The moral to this story is an ugly body can hold a heart of gold
But this world is very, very cold
So be very careful with your heart and to who it is you show

Let me sink my fangs into you
To stop me from turning blue
Let me get to what's within
What lies beneath your skin

Like a vampire
Your sweetness I need to acquire
Let me drink before I expire
Don't let me pass from this world and retire

With out the sweet taste of you upon my lips
In your hands cradle my hips
As slowly into me you slip
Exploding like a rocket ship

Welcome me like the dying light
I will not leave you felling contrite
I'll make everything just right
I can excite
I can delight
Meet me my dear at midnight
Under the bright moonlight

Take me to the stars
Let us zoom past mars
Grace my veins with your intoxication
You are my only fixation

Like a drug, a need
To your power I concede
I hear your call
I'm your victim after all

The black veil has dropped
The beauty in the heart has stopped
The future is crystal clear
Only the darkness will be allowed to draw near
The light has been cast away
Thrown back to yesterday
It is more precious than a blackest pearl
As rear as the unicorn's horns swirl
This blackened veil that wraps up tight
No memories of ever having taken flight
Rest now child, over is the crimson fight
There is no longer wrong or right
There is only the veil
That hides everything so well

Go ahead and drink your hateraid
There is not one **** to be gave
All the hateful things you thought was said
Was only the voices in your head

You turn every word upside down
As a victim you want to be crowned
But we are the victim of your thoughts
In your mind it all gets tossed

The helping hand that we extend
Gets lost as your minds bends
Everything ment for good into black
Till the bridge is in flames, no going back

As you scream out your sarcasm
It only makes to widen the chasm
Then you cry "I have no friends"
You play the victim to the end

So burn your bridges, blow them up
Just don't come yapping at me like a little pup
Maybe one day you'll act grownup
Before someone makes you drink from your own cup

I'm forever circling over the tree tops
I don't have to flap my wings, I just glide non stop
Just trying to find some place to land
For your clock was stoped, you've ran out of sand
Don't worry no pain I bring
You won't feel a thing
I will feast upon your rotting flesh
It is my very favorite dish
I will gobble it all down even the wiggling maggots
And whatever else there inhabits
I do my circling dance in the sky
Just to let others know that near by
Something must have died, and lays baking in the sun
And I will soon be having fun

I was so very proud of my wall
I knew no collision would make it fall
It was built over many a year with heartache & grief
And many a secrets I'm destined to keep

I built the wall to keep all those out
If I found any holes I'd fill them with grout
Thought the pain couldn't reach me
And I might get to find some glee

But little did I know what I'd done to myself
Seems I've just been sitting on a shelf
And letting life just pass right by
And I was just watching and waving goodbye

I relized I was still miserable in my safe little hole
Gezz something, yes something had to go
My wall is so high it's blocking the sun
But what,oh what, could be done

Seems that I walled in the pain, instead of keeping it out
WHAT HAVE I DONE, I scream and I shout
I'm so looking for someone to throw me a line
To save me from this space and time

There was one that dared to throw me a life vest
And **** it he tried his very, very best
But this wall of mine put our friendship to the test
And I know now I must give him some rest

So I start with forgiving myself
But there's a lot that should be on someone else
The guilt shouldn't be mine
It was their crime!!!
So I pick up my axe and start chipping away
Because behind this wall I no longer want to stay
I want to break free of this jail that I built
And work thru all this emotionally guilt
It really wasn't mine to claim
anyway
So I'll try my hardest to keep those feelings at bay
I'm tired of staying here in this life of gray
So I'll keep chipping and chopping and maybe one day......

Confronted by the agonizing notion
I am floundering in my own deep dark ocean
Being driven to the sandy bottom by waves of turbulent emotion

Someone please send me a boat
Please make sure it floats
But I already know they won't
Others just love to stand and gloat

Getting tired of treading water
Afraid I'm about to falter
Going down for the hundredth time
The bells for me they chime
Slowly sinking below the slime
Guess I'll never reach the sublime

I'll never reach the otherside
Right in the middle is here hope died
That was all that had been left
But slowly out of my life that too crept

Nothing left to do but ride the wave
Untill my head just caves
For the love I crave
Was a passing good time, like a rave
When it was over it left me blue
Then more problems did ensue
So the dark waves just grew
Lord knows this is nothing new

But this time will be the last
I'm gonna let this lonely sad life pass
Only sound will be my death rattle gasp

Spinning and whirling, of course it would stop
Right here at this God forsaken spot
That wheel of time never did like her
In good times that wheel couldn't spin faster
In bad times that wheel would be dragging an anchor
Grinding through loneliness, bad things did occur

It use to be when she was in this agonizing place
Floating there in outer space
Desperately wanting friends so bad
But in outer space there's none to be had
Night time in her darkened room, she let the agony go
With every sharp slice like fire, blood filled with agony would flow

Spinning slowly into good times, it brought with it friends
One was a soul-friend connected through centuries, he was a Godsend
Teaching her how to deal with the loneliness, and darkness
He reminded her of the pen's savage caress
He was a great poet, with a shattered caring heart
"Bleed ink on the paper to make it depart"
"I love you dear friend, use the pen instead of the blade to drain
All the agonizing sorrow, and dark thoughts in your brain"

Soon figuring out they were friends of the soul, talking everyday
She prayed it would always stay that way
She got use to the "I love you" said to each other
When she was sad, big Bear hugs that smothered

Quickly the wheel spun good around to bad
In that day, in just a few hours she lost all she had
His demons had won, they had finally taken him down
On deaths door, bet you can guess by who he was found
It was a grief of the soul, she had never felt before
Far beyond agony, sorrow, or pain, this was a different door

One by one the other friends slowly disappear
It doesn't matter how, she's right back here
Wheel grinds slowly through loneliness
She's trying everything not to be depressed

Carefully she takes out and caress the tiniest wrinkle out of the paper
Pen now in hand, writing so fast ink almost becomes vapor
She drains her pain into her new friends she creates
With the blackest ink her darkness she tries to illuminate
With her paper friends she tries  to banish the crushing loneliness
Trying to fill the spot he left, trying to fill the emptiness

©Pauline Russell

In blood I was born, in blood I will die
It will be as quick as a blink of an eye
Flesh slashed open, so the spirit can fly
Most will never understand the why

A woman draped in a black hooded dress
Softly and slowly the coffin she caress
She is here for the death
She is quiet bereft
The tears slide down her flawless face
Cheeks a pink rose tint, lips blood red hue, there's no disgrace
Her hair is raven colored, she is nothing, if not grace
Her healing hands over her face she places
Her gut wrenching anguished moans can be heard for miles
She falls to her knees in the aisles
Behind her closed eyes she sees every moment of this life
The microseconds of happiness the years of anguish and strife
She cries and wails for a life lived this way
She moans and sways
For in that coffin is where her life lays

A woman draped in a black hooded dress
Softly and slowly the coffin she caress
She is here for the death
She is quiet bereft
The tears slide down her flawless face
Cheeks a pink rose tint, lips blood red hue, there's no disgrace
Her hair is raven colored, she is nothing, if not grace
Her healing hands over her face she places
Her gut wrenching anguished moans can be heard for miles
She falls to her knees in the aisles
Behind her closed eyes she sees every moment of this life
The microseconds of happiness the years of anguish and strife
She cries and wails for a life lived this way
She moans and sways
For in that coffin is where her life lays

A woman draped in a black hooded dress
Softly and slowly the coffin she caress
She is here for the death
She is quiet bereft
The tears slide down her flawless face
Cheeks a pink rose tint, lips blood red hue, there's no disgrace
Her hair is raven colored, she is nothing, if not grace
Her healing hands over her face she places
Her gut wrenching anguished moans can be heard for miles
She falls to her knees in the aisles
Behind her closed eyes she sees every moment of this life
The microseconds of happiness the years of anguish and strife
She cries and wails for a life lived this way
She moans and sways
For in that coffin is where her life lays

The stars are falling from the sky
The moon no longer wains on high
It's grown dark and cold
For the sun has been sold
Darkness reigns
The demons run free, they're the few that remain
Human life is over
The Jinn dance on the clover
The lion will eat the lamb
The light no longer stands
The cloven hoofed one rules this world
The one with the horns that curled
The Banshee no longer screams
Everyones already dead it seems
The shadow men walk to and fro
With no particular place to go
Only the creatures of the night thrive
Eating off of the dead one's hide
Vampires slowly die
With no human blood supply
So demons, ghost and Jinn
Is all the company the cloved one has with him
What a sad creature he has grown to be
How he begs for the light to see

The stars are falling from the sky
The moon no longer wains on high
It's grown dark and cold
For the sun has been sold
Darkness reigns
The demons run free, they're the few that remain
Human life is over
The Jinn dance on the clover
The lion will eat the lamb
The light no longer stands
The cloven hoofed one rules this world
The one with the horns that curled
The Banshee no longer screams
Everyones all ready dead it seems
The shadow men walk to and fro
With no particular place to go
Only the creatures of the night thrive
Eating off of the dead one's hide
Vampires slowly die
With no human blood supply
So demons, ghost and Jinn
Is all the company the cloved one has with him
What a sad creature he has grown to be
How he begs for the light to see

Thin red lines they etch the skin
All to show the agony within Here we go once again
With no drugs to dull the pain
I let the razor glide thru my vain
Within my head I have no doubt
That with the blood the pain flows out.
Thats what my scars are all about
With the stream I won't explode
I won't implode
With every drop that hits the ground
Is one less scream that sounds
Within my head resides all the memories
They seem to go on for centuries
Endless ****** up realities
Cuz with all the pain I'm stretched to thin
So thin red lines will etch my skin

The smell of rain hung heavy in the air
The clouds where not quite black but the darkest of gray
Your foot falls seemed lighter like the approaching storm was lifting your worries and care
I had to ask you why for most cower in their houses on days like today
You gave me that sweetest grin,  not often seen
You where so amused at my puzzled look
You knew no words could explain what it means
Not even if it was wrote in a book

So you took me out in the middle of the storm
I had to admit at first I was frightened,  Thunder booming and lighting flashing
But with the rain glistening on your face with every bolt of lighting,  you simply said this is my norm
The rain is like my tears, like the lighting I only see small flashes of the light, and in my head the agony is always crashing

Come dance with me in the rain
Come dance with me in the storm
Come dance with me through the pain
Come dance with me and be transformed

I'm left upon this table bleeding out
For all of my emotions, I find no need to shout
They are pooling all around me
Like the oceans and the sea
You'll no longer have to worry
About what kind of mood I'm in
This well be my final sin
Just know I always loved you
Even though at times I do what I do
Sometimes I just got carried away
I hope you can forgive me anyway
You where my only true friend in this pitiful play
It took to long to find you, my life always in disarray
Please forgive me, that I choose to go out this way
But there's this price I have to pay

When we found each other I thought my life had changed
Only to find out later my life is still the same

No love, no light
No guidance out of the night
Still at the bottom of the hole
So I had to make you go

You didn't fix my broken heart
You just scattered the parts

I once thought you could bring some life, to this corpse mine
But as the time went by, all I could find
Was agony of the longing
You let me know in your arms I wasn't belonging

I feel in love with the sexually bliss
But afterwards I was always dismissed
No warm cuddles
No happy snuggles

Just a cold shoulder
As you rolled over
No kiss good bye
In the morning out the door you would fly

I'm not much
But I have a hunch
I deserve more
Than to be hurt to the core

You left me in a place I deplore
Once again left beating on loves door

Heaven is but a dream
Reminding her life is nothing but mean
Freedom is but a fleeting thought
Just a spider's web in which to get caught

Heaven is but a dream
Reminding her life is nothing but mean
Freedom is but a fleeting thought
Just a spider's web in which to get caught

Tired of the toughts, tired of the fight
The drugs win out again to night
Please don't look, I'm such a frightful sight

At lest I didn't give in
To those haunting voices again
I guess I can count that as a win

Now I'll just lay here feeling nothing but numb
In my cranium there starts a hums
That soon turns into sounds of drums

That will soon lure me to sleep
So my secrets I can keep
With the drugs I can bury them deep

Down in the depths of the hole, there's no sound but the beat of my heart
And my dark charred thoughts
That drip like black oil
That everything it touch's, it stains and soils
Thoughts of death and gruesome memories
From them there is no where to flee
So I lay in the bed curled into a tight ball
Just waiting to hit the bottom of the fall
There is no one to talk to, no one to call
No one knows how this inky darkness flows
How it consumes the soul and continues to grow
I'm imprisoned in theses bones, this skin
Is this how the end begins
I've prayed for love and light
But I've only been given glimpses of that site
Any happiness I have fought for is snatched away
In just a short few days
So now I pray
For death and a shortening of my years
To live a long agonize life is my fears
Not one month goes by that tragedy doesn't strike
It's like trying to get through life on a trike
You pedal really really hard but get no where
To tell the truth I just don't care
I want to become totally unaware

Down in the depths of the hole, there's no sound but the beat of my heart
And my dark charred thoughts
That drip like black oil
That everything it touch's, it stains and soils
Thoughts of death and gruesome memories
From them there is no where to flee
So I lay in the bed curled into a tight ball
Just waiting to hit the bottom of the fall
There is no one to talk to, no one to call
No one knows how this inky darkness flows
How it consumes the soul and continues to grow
I'm imprisoned in theses bones, this skin
Is this how the end begins
I've prayed for love and light
But I've only been given glimpses of that site
Any happiness I have fought for is snatched away
In just a short few days
So now I pray
For death and a shortening of my years
To live a long agonize life is my fears
Not one month goes by that tragedy doesn't strike
It's like trying to get through life on a trike
You pedal really really hard but get no where
To tell the truth I just don't care
I want to become totally unaware

Here I am again looking to the sky
Wishing so much that I could fly
Leave this lonesome world behind
Most people are just blind
And they will never see the truth
But up high here upon the roof

It's not so hard to find
That they are to mired in the grind
They've given in
To the greatest sin
That possessions have more worth than time
They cherish every dime

But I know the truth
It's about love, not youth
Or possession you own
It's about watching kid's becoming grown

It's not how much money
You spend on your hunny
But putting in the time
To watch life unwind

Holding loved ones close
It's what we all want the most
So I have decided I'm growing wings
Just watch as I fly away and sing
Because my love lives faraway
And Skypes not enough today

Here I am again looking to the sky
Wishing so much that I could fly
Leave this lonesome world behind
Most people are just blind
And they will never see the truth
But up high here upon the roof

It's not so hard to find
That they are to mired in the grind
They've given in
To the greatest sin
That possessions have more worth than time
They cherish every dime

But I know the truth
It's about love, not youth
Or possession you own
It's about watching kid's becoming grown

It's not how much money
You spend on your hunny
But putting in the time
To watch life unwind

Holding loved ones close
It's what we all want the most
So I have decided I'm growing wings
Just watch as I fly away and sing
Because my love lives faraway
And Skypes not enough today

Here I set in my room
Realizing the longer I hold on the worse it's all becoming
My heart is heavy, no one wants to love the broken
After all what's broken should just be thrown away
No one for days as spoken to me, it's easier to not think of me and all of my issues
My spirt has turned to stone it will never fly again
I'm so ******* alone I don't want to live this way
I thought by now my tears would dry up but they don't
They just keep on falling
I've not been held in years and now I think I'd cring if someone touched me
My skin is not used to that kind of thing any more
But desperately longs for it
I care about everyone I meet, but the feelings never returned
Why the **** am I still here
Just for people to use I guess
I'm done I'm thru I just don't know what to do
I think I'll set and drown in my pool of tears
And pray tomorrow never comes

The rain is thundering down
That's where I'll be found
For in the rain I'm free to cry
No one can tell and ask me why
For they never understand
They don't wear the brand
Burnt into their brain
That slowly drives one insane
There are a few that know the pain
You'll know who they are, their standing in the rain

I was ******* when I heard the fire
I was ******* in your attire
I was ******* I am all you desire
I was ******* I was your live wire
I was ******* you made me moan like a choir
I was ******* when you started that bush fire

I was ******* when I heard the fire
I was ******* in your attire
I was ******* I am all you desire
I was ******* I was your live wire
I was ******* you made me moan like a choir
I was ******* when you started that bush fire

I sit and wail
As memories of you swell
Threating to bring down the wall
As I remember your final fall

You fell right through my out stretched arms
I could not save you from your demons harm
I could not bring you back to me
Now your memories is all I have to see

I was so angry you left me here all alone
This cut is deep, right to the bone
A wound that will never heal, never become just a scar
As you now dwell amongst the stars

Now I find, I turn my eyes to the midnight sky
The tears rolling quickly and quietly as I cry
I'm searching for something left by you
A shooting star, a comet, a clue
Just to let me know your okay, that you made it through

That would make it worth our final good bye
Maybe then my tears would subside
Maybe then they would turn to silent sighs
But the pain will always be with me that is true
For my dearest friend, I will forever miss you

Till we meet again on the other side
There's one thing that will never die
It is constant, it will always be the same
My love for you will always remain

Time stands still again
Then rewinds from within us
As we reminisce

I hate this time of night
When nothing seems quite right

The silence sets in, it's a deafening roar
Everything about this time of night I deplore

It's like stepping into a dark abyss
To live all alone and cold like this

The house is hauntingly lonely
With only my demons to console me

Agonizing coldness greets me under the covers
I take my little pills, anything that smothers

The terrifying nightmares that await
When I step through sleeps drowsy gate

But no matter what I seem to do
These nagging nightmares still pursue

Awake most the night, again it seems
Till the sun shines thorough my window it's beams

Wonder how long I can go without sleep
Before the secrets I hide begain to seep

Out of my mind and on to the pages
And everyone sees the battles that rages

But that's ok I think they already have
And the only one that can judge me is Yahve

As Tinker Bell and Peter Pan showed it takes a happy hearts
Happy thoughts
To fly and zoom around
Thats why way down here in this bottomless pit is where I'll be found
It's always dark and sometimes scary
A anguished frozen heart is hard to carry
But that's ok, for the birds of prey
Would tear me apart anyway

A few times in life I've been smitten
By the feelings of love I've been bitten
But cold is love
Like in winter a hand that lost it's glove
It's touch can leave you frozen
A heart eaten away by corrosion
It will make any situation a little more dire
Making you feel a little more expired

Why is love so cruel
Two people in a dual
Leaving you the fool
Feeling just like a ghoul

Love set's your heart on fire
Giving you all kinds of desire
Only for it to turn the tables
For seemingly it is just a fable
It's really not real
All those feelings you feel
They were nothing but a mirage
Giving you a cardiac massage

Why is love so cruel
Two people in a dual
Leaving you the fool
Feeling just like a ghoul

Till that inevitable day
Love takes it all away
You plummet from the sky
Till you're laying in the wry
Love so skillfully fleeces
As you cut yourself to pieces
Trying to recover your shattered parts
Tiny slivers of a pulverized heart

A few times in life I've been smitten
By the feelings of love I've been bitten
But cold is love
Like in winter a hand that lost it's glove
It's touch can leave you frozen
A heart eaten away by corrosion
It will make any situation a little more dire
Making you feel a little more expired

Why is love so cruel
Two people in a dual
Leaving you the fool
Feeling just like a ghoul

Love set's your heart on fire
Giving you all kinds of desire
Only for it to turn the tables
For seemingly it is just a fable
It's really not real
All those feelings you feel
They were nothing but a mirage
Giving you a cardiac massage

Why is love so cruel
Two people in a dual
Leaving you the fool
Feeling just like a ghoul

Till that inevitable day
Love takes it all away
You plummet from the sky
Till you're laying in the wry
Love so skillfully fleeces
As you cut yourself to pieces
Trying to recover your shattered parts
Tiny slivers of a pulverized heart

Little fingers, little toes
It's such a joy to watch you grow
Big bright eyes that greet the day
A crinkled nose with a smile that shines my way
Messy faces at supper time
Couches like mountains that you just have to climb
The wonders of this world seen through your eyes
Such a truly beautiful prize
Child of my child
You have me so beguiled

On the sidewalk an egg you could fry
My bones are starting to liquify

I welcome the company
In this unending sea
Of loathing and misery

I hate to hear you suffer too
But a lot of us do
We need each other to get through

No need to suffer in silence
This is no science
We live on in defiance

Of a world that's beat us down
Left a lot of us cowering on the ground
But look we're still around

Hear my souls song
It's sad and it's long
But still I crawl and go on

I know you can too I'm much weaker than you
Together we can get through
It's the best we can do

One day at a time
Making sense of what doesn't rhyme
Always something out of line

It's more than feeling blue
It just munchs and chews
It's an agony eating right through

Till on the inside your hollow
All that's left is the sorrow
Just trying to hold on till tomorrow

Dangling over that cliff by your fingertips
Over life you constantly trip
As your insides rip

I know how it is, I suffer the same
Sometimes there is no reason for the rain
That's when you feel you'll never be sane

The darkness comes out of the blue
It never leaves you a clue
But you know that's nothing new

It's better when there's a trigger
At lest it gives you something to consider
That way you know which way to set your sail's rigger

Sleepless night's are the worse
As the waves of sorrow you try to transverse
That leaves you feeling like your living under a curse

We can tread these waters together
We can hold on to each other whenever
The pain gets to much to measure

I welcome the company
In this unending sea
Of loathing and misery

I hate to hear you suffer too
But a lot of us do
We need each other to get through

No need to suffer in silence
This is no science
We live on in defiance

Of a world that's beat us down
Left a lot of us cowering on the ground
But look we're still around

Hear my souls song
It's sad and it's long
But still I crawl and go on

I know you can too I'm much weaker than you
Together we can get through
It's the best we can do

One day at a time
Making sense of what doesn't rhyme
Always something out of line

It's more than feeling blue
It just munchs and chews
It's an agony eating right through

Till on the inside your hollow
All that's left is the sorrow
Just trying to hold on till tomorrow

Dangling over that cliff by your fingertips
Over life you constantly trip
As your insides rip

I know how it is, I suffer the same
Sometimes there is no reason for the rain
That's when you feel you'll never be sane

The darkness comes out of the blue
It never leaves you a clue
But you know that's nothing new

It's better when there's a trigger
At lest it gives you something to consider
That way you know which way to set your sail's rigger

Sleepless night's are the worse
As the waves of sorrow you try to transverse
That leaves you feeling like your living under a curse

We can tread these waters together
We can hold on to each other whenever
The pain gets to much to measure