Good morning all, this morning i awoke
and i wanted to say something.
I got dressed in fibers made in who knows where,
traveled on a train made of who knows what,
to speak to you fine people probably thinking
"Who the hell is this!?"
but i wanted to say something.
You see, i'm not the brightest kid in the club,
the sharpest neither-
can't make a universe with my words nor build a story with my soul.
i don't have that talent but
i wanted to say something.

There is no greater moment
than the moment just gone.
These words, fleeting like grains of sand from my mouth
i want them to take root in your hearts and build a thousand sandcastles, so i can proudly say i made a beach out of the intangible
and no amount of sea salty hatred can force it to
perish.
i wanted to say something. something you wouldn't forget and
something i wouldn't regret.

I wanted to say something.
so, good morning everyone
what kind of story shall i tell?

Running up the stairs
to jump out of the case.
Upon your own night you,
suggested an improvement.
With a heat, now displaced
Shuffled
in a downward movement.

The contrasting controls,
that which flows
with whipping winds and
lost lovers- nows a tonal
change shows.

So you whimpered, puppy lust
Then I growled, mature crush
Now we're gone, dust to dust
Cupid kills in a fluid
******.

I was taught that being stubborn
is a virtue that every young boy should have,
that to decide how you govern
your life and your path.

I was taught that being stubborn
is simply a way to be,
that wanting and yearning
provided my journey's fee.

I was taught that being stubborn
was a sign of respect, of pride.
Unlearn all that'd been thought
and learn all from inside.

I was taught that being stubborn
would create a wall around me,
a nocturne of darkness
for which only i could see.

Now i am alone, all stubborn and virtuous
wishing for a chance.
but this disease is cure-less
Through no other circumstance.

I have spent an age
Longing.

                                   I have spent an eon
                                               Loving

                                                                                I have spent an eternity
                                                                                                           Lusting
whereas you spent a second.
Making it all worthwhile.

As this slow drip, timeless trip
wavers out its incessant lifespan
leaves me, wishing our relationship.
                                              To never cease to be.

The only "Truth" is what you believe to be.
                                                                          Truth in fact, is but the Title.

After you stumbled down
not so many steps
Tongue searching for the words,
to chain me to its depths.
I won't lie.                          I saw (no. you knew.) where this was heading.

Before your lazy lounging around
and lackluster laugh
finally losing its lustre.
Truly your falseness was found.

Now your distant happiness
heralding our own end.
No longer seeking your "loving" caress
not willing to pretend.
  
                                                   That we were (in fact) meant for more.

Did you see the                                                                                          
balloons for your birthday?
I painted them
by hand, I knew you'd say
how cool, how nice, or
whatever. Man- they took forever.

How about your day out?
When we lazed and dazed the day away.
The night spent, ourselves sent a sway
over the sofa.
Your bed was too far,
and mine wouldn't miss me if it was
for a good cause.

This   was   better  than  a  good   cause

i got lost on my way here, my mind stumbled over the underground lines
like a child's excitement for a new toy. WAIT
i'm not saying this is a game, no, no.
This is my first time i found peace not between dead inkstained-
oak or elm or whatever they use to write books where the characters-  
are as alive as the train i traveled on to get here.

i'm not using you, no, no.

Forgive me. Now my tongue's the one all tripping over itself.
Can yours come over, and tell mine a good morning story?
(i'll pay for the coffee.)

9:07                    Egotism and Wants
9:08                    Futures with eyes Gaunt
9:09                    Childhoods and Taunts
9:10                                                                what are we doing.

9:11                     i gave up asking awhile ago.

In a different light,
i'm sure i could see you
in this strangers' face.

With another drink,
i'm sure you'd taste
the same as this stranger tongue.

With another day..or two..
i'm sure your laugh (your laugh)
will fade into this strangers' throat.

BUT IT WON'T.
with another, another with.
      cause we're both.
without each other.

With an Earthquake,
the deadliest moment is not during.
It's the aftershocks.
Rocking those weakened foundations
to rubble.

The same is said of Love.
No matter how shaky
or rough.
When the motion stops moving
that's when truly life is tough.

There are 2 exits.
3, if you count a 6 story drop.
She accepts it
i just want to stop.

There's a table, some chairs.
Decorated with some sort of dead or dying flower.
Her tracing fingers, my raising hairs.
Rats run in the shower.

i can't find the carpet
she found the bed
with my fate set
to that room i was led.

the seconds ran miles
my mind went too
she called these acts, trials
to lose your youth.

When it was over
your sweat turning stale
you called me your lover
i called you my jail.

Your fingers,
wrapping around my cuffs ripping the seams
That's your revenge it seems
till the hard come down had set in,
what you would scream, now stays within.
You've run through the pipelines in my head.
Sewer dreams.

Hello, you.
I won't bid adieu,
till we finish these few
stanza's.

You came looking again.
am I right?
You just can't tame
those feelings, thinking-Poetry
will make'em behave- quite.

Well. We're both at a loss.
My own pen resists writing
icy words. Frost.
Bitten sentences need warm eyes
to thaw out.

Tell you what, lets
work. together.
I'll write something, anything which'll
forever, stay.
You just have to promise to remember it
and not twist it.

I'm not sure if our talk
was lengthy enough or indepth.
You'll just have to accept.
This; Metaphorical-Physical-Emotional-Mental
discussion has ended.

What we may of, or may not of, agreed upon.
Shall come true.
Now
adieu.

Do you think logically
or logistically?
Cause it seems to me
Love,
has no place in your vocabulary.

Yet your bank balance expands,
as does the gap
in our bed.

Put my money to my mouth                                                you said.
                                                                    Where

It should of been I love you                                                  instead.

I should of
   punched her.
       Made the blood awash
                with the concrete floor.
How dare she hurt you.
Lay her pathetic, puny hands that pry and peer
upon you.
I found myself biting my tongue
where I should've made her bite hers.
SMACK
came that connection all too fast
and where was I?
Lagging behind-last.
To rewind that cry, escaping your mouth to
shove it down her throat- choke and choke.
                
                                         ­              "Don't worry about those things"
I am your friend
you are my best friend
and its never happening again.

I have a
disconcerting.... habit.
not drugs Mind you
or the like,
its a phrase- or more honestly a turn of one.
"Come Along."                                                          ­  Strangly simple right?
For the life of my life i don't know
WHY
I repeat it.

Am i perhaps
reMinding my Mind
"be Mindful of those landMines planted by that Mindless mad man"?!

in honesty,
i doubt it.

You
      Could
                Of
                    Said
        ­                   Goodbye....
                                                     ­                                                     BUT
                                                                ­                                          NO
                    ­                                                                 ­                     YOU
                                        ­                                                                 ­ SWORE.


Never again, again.                                          NEVER AGAIN AGAIN.

                                      Your Heart Bleeds
                                            Our Glass Beads.

Stop speaking in tongues!
Tell me true.
When you choked out that "I Love You"
did you mean a single syllable?
did you have to drag that from the depths of your heart
or just to jump-start
this ridiculous doubt i have.

I'm sorry. But not ******* forgiving you

i can't read your smile anymore.

Thinking.
Dreaming maybe?
Ricocheting repeated words
Bullets. Let them fly,
Fly, fly in sync-locked.
Together we'll set ourselves alight.
Writhing, sighing...
Our forest fire at midnight.

I carry a notepad:  
                                    Not to
                                    Bullet point
                                    Out
                                                            My existence.

But to document;     Resilience.

I remember,
when i was younger- i used to think.
Love came as fast as it went,
so painless. So easy.

                                                 If i could visit that me
                                                 i'd break his legs,
                                                 then his heart.
Then he'll truly see
what a scar is.
                    

                                                        Walking down the street
                                                        still lacking a heartbeat.

I thought you'd wait.
Cause today till midnight,
I'll lay awake.
Dreaming up
downtrodden fantasies.
Causing the most baleful
to blush.

I thought you'd wait.
because last night
the fights that'd ring out
our happiness- were lost.
Our laughs and tears
-well my tears- were silent.
No more jeers,
jests and clown like style.

          Hell I'm gonna miss you for awhile.

If i could,
rewind time i would.
Not to change, or mess,
**** or bless
but to relive. Again.

The same mistakes and goals,
patch up the same holes,
live the bitter nights and
love the little fights.
To live. Once more.

There's one small issue.
Time travel's standard issue,
it's my heart will find you again.
When time's rewound and love's
refound, all good things must come
to an end.

Maybe one day, when i'm old and gray
you'll visit me.
to relive MY love
one final time.
Then once again. And again. And again.
Till no longer.

This'll reach you.
I'll scream across the void i named friendship
in the hope that a syllable pass into that amber cut heart,
to send your head spiraling into shards
of understanding.
That'll recast themselves
in a better light.

A better light
A bedroom light.                          A Dream.

Scratching these words out
drawing blood from stone,
Will you read 'em? No doubt
but you'd prefer to read alone.

My "a" s have gone gray
maybe a few times too many,
still I'd die to hear you say
you like these poems plenty.

I think you're annoyed,
told me so fair few times.
But you played and toyed,
let me commit a few crimes.

One day I'll look back.
With your face all non-seeing.
Knowing that look in fact,
was all due to my being.

                 You never really cared about friendship
                  really the opposite to me.
                   Guess your heart prevents it
                     Nothing taken personally.

Lust
i Love      You.
  Like

                                         Have              
                                    i    Want        You.
                                         Need                                        Can't
                                                                                 But i  Mustn't       You.
                                                                                            Tell

I have a migraine.
So i won't feel shame,
if my tongue doesn't d-a-n-c-e
for you.

I have a migraine.
So don't you dare think
i won't help sink
your pathetic pity ship.
                                      I have a migraine.
                                      your touch is only keeping me sane.
                                      but soon you'll be gone
                                                                      a n d  it's pounding pounding.
I have a migraine
so throw the 'killers
cause it'll start again.
                                               No waking from this one.

Today, you didn't appear.
For the life of me,
or death
I could not stand the fear.

You had staggered away.
Even after I may, or may not
have wanted you to stay.
Did my words wind up lost in translation,
still- I begged for swift emancipation.

Perhaps I fret too much.
"I" lacking your loving touch.
for we are not "We"
Just You an'                                                               Just me.

Today you didn't appear.

The oak doors that caught the light,
as natural as the fizzy drink raised to my lips-
shone in the midsummer evening.
Yet they swung back,
into a room not unlike a painting
where the artwork is but the frame.
                                      Spoken word.
but why was the room crushingly quiet?
Five there was, i think.
As is my norm, their names were not handed to me
but assigned by me.
Little miss Smiley- staring into her own sky.
Mr gentle Giant- filling out his seat, but oh so fast to greet.
Blue dude- all suede and swagger.
Minnie mousey- eyes as sharp as diamonds, touch as gentle as velvet.
Then Luna- because he glowed, but not burned.

Because my mouth thinks for me,
soon i was enveloped by these souls, these strangers.
But then the time ticked,
pens and notepads out, all aglow.
Revealing their dice game "A Word A Throw".

Cause i was new, first i had to go.
Once upon a midnight dreary- i would of prayed for "Alone"

                                       I don't believe it's fate when it landed on "Home".