Soon, i may be forced,
to look upon this false sense.
Of security called- You.
Pick up the memories,
and refer to us in the past tense.
Finally realizing it's true.

Better not to dwell on those things.

I'm sick. Not
physically. close enough though.
because
you're not close enough.
To heal. Me

To hear your sob story.
Poor you? How about poor me?
All this venting, letting my patience out
soon warm wise words'll turn cold.
So don't get pissy when i start to shout
another thousand times your tale'll be told.

It's funny
Cause once upon a time
I believed love wouldn't **** you
But save you.

But now I know to respect
Love's
A serial killing paramedic.

See,
my problems
seem to stem
from those three words.
that now, i have promised
To never let escape these lips

Who am i kidding
no friendship
should taste this bitter.

Who am i kidding?
no poetry
can change this pain.

Who am i kidding!
no smile, shared suddenly
can make you love me!

No number of late nights
no number of long days
or number of friendly fights.

When we met you told me
your heart is non-reaching
and
i said mine's over reaching.

Who am i kidding..
this gap'll never be bridged
we're a lost cause.
                                                       so  I left my heart to die
                                                       when i spluttered out my goodbye.

Such a shame
"I love you" Can't contain,
the true extent
of these false
feelings.

I saw you smoking,
one of those old cigarettes.
didn't know what you were thinking
but your face said regrets.
But me being me,
turned myself to ash
cause we all know how fast love
will run quick and dash.
You stomped on the one that was dangling on your lip
This is where my common sense should of took grip.

Because you love as it suits you,
no mutual affection.
But stupid me.
thinking i could be a
correction.

Cause
i hear your loving voice.
see your soothing smile

but cause they're not for me
i feel like crying for awhile.

but alls okay i guess
as long as you're aware.
That somehow somewhere i'm dying
but you don't really care.

It's okay. These words'll fall
on deaf ears, but act like you're listening,
anyway.

It's not okay. Carrot and stick.
Couldn't i have been your,
first pick.

WE'RE OKAY. BECAUSE THE FLINCHES
THAT RUN THROUGH YOU
WHENEVER MY HAND MOVES.
tell me a thousand words more
than anything you could say.

we're not okay. i pushed my love off
onto the canvas called the sky
to paint you a clearer picture.

I'm fine.
You're fine.
This has happened BEFORE.
but don't worry

Soon we'll be....

I have neither:
The Time- to talk trash-

or

The Tolerance- to tell tales-

I don't mean to be spiteful,
but if you really want to bother me.                   Just read the title.

i am better than no one
                                   no one is better than me.
i'll set the Earth on fire
then drown it.


in the sea....

I thought when
our friendship began,
I 'd start to see a pattern, a plan
but.
Calls at 3 AM with teardrops
down the receiver,
spouting nonsense like-
"Why oh why did i leave her?"

Were not expected.

I welcomed them sure,
but never had I handled this before.
This traumatic tirade of-
listless lovers that'd-
surround you suddenly.

But was now expected.

Then, at 5 in the morning
I noticed.
Your mouth. Breath had stopped drawing.
As you stared at your mural
you whispered "Tribunal"

Thus began your attack.
Hacking, blood drawn, across
what was our sofa. Now torn.

No more was that mural that tilted
that wall ever so slightly.
As for me?

I left the room quietly.

As I'm sure,
you can see
-ripped jeans, messy hair and a cup of coffee-
I may not of had the best
nights sleep.
But somewhere
in those spotty moments we called clarity
-or was it sobriety-
I found the right words,
to let out.

I remember bits of it,
Vowels that spun violent nights.
Consonants that concocted creative crimes.
There was even some petty punctuation too!
It was, I think
"I Love You?"
-"i loved you"-

"Come"
Back? To where
your papercut smile,
sliced our story into
shreds?
                               "Back"
                                   To midnight maliciousness?
                                    Painted eyes with those
                                      pathetic words you call "Promises"?

                                                                                         "Please come back"

                                                                                     Here we go. Again.

Bitterness is an acquired taste.
but perhaps.
If we believe it to be sweet,
Our tongues'll taste each other too.

As I walked down, on my way
back from Camden Town- some sights I saw.
The squabbles on the streets,
the dancers with two left feet-
I saw the smokers blow rings,
upon cobbled stones surrounded by courts-
like kings.

Then the rain came pelting,
yet the old lady kept belting.
Out her soft tune.
The cats came to listen,
but the rain kept on glistening
till shelter was found.
What a day to go missing-
even if the downpour's *******
on my way home from Camden Town.

Egotistical.

Because your smile makes me.

Or.

Stereotypical.

Because your smile breaks me.

Polaroid mimicry
A grin, spreading ear to ear.
Cheshire cat wannabe.
stay like that for a little while.
cause your rare, rare smile
needs more than one photo.

Echo illicit idioms,
into my ear.
Speaking ***** always was
your favourite pitfall.

But maybe getting trapped
would be best for us
both.

Who needs sunlight anyway?

Is it Poetry
to find beauty at the bottom
of a notepad
is it just scribbles & scratches.

Is it Poetry
to glimpse those love lines at your mouth-
how they remind me
of your cracked lipstick smudges.

Is it Poetry
to get lost in the library
to catch a wisp or wave- of your
electrostatic love.

But What IS Poetry.
The cascading colours
swinging, singing and dancing from this monitor.
From you.
                                                        Hello. Poetry.

How're you today?

Gripping. Your hands,
slicked with sweat. But I had
to hold it (hold it) tighter.
Heights aren't scary.
but
I've dropped your
porcelain
skin one time too many.
Left me wary.
No more scars for us.

What do you mean?
"This is on you"-Me?!
Who, rode in gallantly (knight in shining armour my ***)
Swept me away,
then has the *****-
To say

"It didn't mean a thing."
**** this ring
you
and everything love brings.

I wanted attention-
scratch that, love,
from the moment of our hazy conception.

I wanted my fingers to trace
the curve of your face.
Cheekbones. A jaw.
All made the bad thoughts nevermore.

It hurts because i know it's a dream.

these fingers'll never lay upon you,
your lips never crushed to mine.
but because i love you i'll be fine

better to deal with nothing
cause hate-filled wary eyes
will **** me a thousand times.

leave my heart to rupture and burst
because to me our friendship must come first

Your hollow cheeks,
mirror hollow cheques.
Don't. Worry. No. More.
When the envelope hits the floor.
Remember the bill,
promised it wouldn't ****.

But who said it wouldn't hurt.

You leapt. Landed, laughed.
While I.
I lied- lagged then limped.
Its fair but not fair.
Then I remembered
Love doesn't care.

Fluttering eyelids.
Yawn once, then once again.
"No more" my liver forbids.
Neon lights simmer behind my eyes.
Ah.
                                 You sent me a sunrise.

It's.
A trap,
the little lady
sings sweet cyanide songs.
Drawing lost lambs softly, quietly.
To slaughter them. Quite rightly.

Their names'll be forgotten anyway.

Maybe a love poem for you's
too cliché.
(but I'll still do one anyway.)
Cause even though you hate it-
we both know you'll admit
(That maybe this ain't so bad)

Cute.
Big man,
but bigger ego.
Stop grinning, cause soon-
All those pretty white teeth will
bend and bow
for me.

Nothing's changed.
'cept that smile. Now, leave's a weird taste,
of one part pity, two parts haste.
Sorry for subjugating you to this foolishness.
Guess saying "no" was for the best.

Just don't look at me like that.
Don't let it change the fact. Friends first-
and now always.

It's not funny how the words i wanted to say
dried up, with your eyes screaming.
"Stop it, there's no winning"

Why do we bottle it up in our mind? Ladies and Gentlemen.
Exhibit A: Rejection-painful, but not unkind.

Twisted bed-sheets
Reveal last nights deceits.
I'm sure many "I love you" 's
Ricocheted off of the ceiling, into wallpaper
peeling.
Marks upon skin, rarely sink lower
past those deeper walls within.

But you don't want a lover anyway.

I did.
Fall where i swore "Not too".
So what? In the end, i got You.

For a split-second- or at least,
what I felt. In the end
I had You. Right?

After, your heart
opens to me.
My mouth'll tumble out,
every single sweet story it knows.
Just so those eyes- ever gaze to mine.
I'll leave that ******* called time
To his own lover.

Rewind.
Back. Again. One more time.
To a kind,
another, close but distant
Memory. A flame. You, me?
Us.
I remember what it was called.
Trust.

Come and follow.
down, down this hollow.
Tree, tea and other such triviali-
ties?
Let us land in this lettuce land,
swapping vegetable stories
kissing better our sore knees.
Maybe if we try hard enough
we'll find love.

A spark, a candle lit- as
we share our candlelit dinner; whats on the menu?
Deceit pies, cream lies.
and other some such tasties.

We're too hasty.
Just me, talking to just me
or was it Justine?

We'll never know- a beautiful mess.
I guess.

It was simple at first,
No harm intended.
Who'd of known you were a curse.
I'd of died for and defended.

We agreed, did we not?
On the way we'd love.
Till we got caught
when your heart became tough.
Hammer came down with a thud.
Crystal future to mud.

Take me home, it's too painful
lull me to sleep- is this what we came too?
Still you promised me.
Guess all love leaves eventually.

I.
The Sun.
and you the
Moon. Yes. We tend
the rabbits true, but they
die in obliviousness too.

With a thud you landed.
acting as if you planned it,
but we all knew your *** was hurting.
You were smiling still, a scrapped knee
but when you looked up your grin only got through to
me.
That was cute, till you asked for a hand up.
Didn't realise my mistake, when your wolf pup
eyes shimmered-pulling me down too.

Maybe this is why I fell in love with you.

There wasn't any malice or cruelty.
But neither affection-which hurt like hell.
See, I don't have a big tale to tell- but if I did
you'd be my opener.
Cause audiences love a one sided story.

The plan was plain.
Me the bait, and you'd take aim.
I doubt there was hatred
when you shot him dead
cause even the worst emotions can't pass
a bullet to the head.
Bam!
Ivory concave called a face, split
revealing drenched red teeth-all due
to some petty thief.
Darkness dazzled briefly
as the the muzzle embers burnt out neatly.
That was that, to you. A crime
No more, till we saw the carcass slump to the floor. In our minds, dreams-years to come.
But a trigger pulled can never be undone.
The haunting ain't the issue, don't worry.
But here's the thing.
The barrel of a gun is one big ring.
A cycle of death- cruel merry go round.
But we're both still waiting
waiting for that sound.
Bam!