Entombed
In a prison
Of my darkest thoughts
A burial
With no witnesses
No eulogies
No one to miss me
Feeling the dirt fall in my mouth
Shaking from regret
After all
I put myself here
In the process
Pushing away
The ones that tried
to keep me from this end
Broke down their own walls
To reach out to me
I see the vision
Of hands outstretched
Cringing at the thought
That I could have steered away
Avoiding the dismay

Overwhelming heat
Stuck to the linoleum floor
Listening to vinyl
Keeping one eye on the door
Not knowing what will happen next
It was clear to me
That you were not like all the rest
Moving in slowly
As to not scare you away
Subtle stares
Magic sent through pages
Writing each other notes
To ensure this isn’t just another hoax
Pouring out our souls
Discussing the future and our goals
We begin to coast
Vibing endlessly
We lose track of time
And before I know it
I begin to rhyme
Singing of you in every line

Simple seeds
Turned roots of trees
Built on lies
The most famous
‘Everything is Fine’
Climbing the branches
Escalating the deception
Until there is no way down
No savior around
A prison of invention
Forged by the best intentions
A forest of fabrication
In the spirit of deception

Smoke swirls in patterns,
From the end of my cigarette,
As I watch you undress,
Kissing the nape of your neck,
I feel your body freeze.
Trepidation,
Anticipation,
The moments,
That leave you tongue tied,
Breathless,
Bordering on restless.

An introduction,
I would allow myself,
No more than that,
Instantaneously captivated by her,
Magnetized,
But I was fighting against gravity.

Knowing the depths of my baggage,
And the density,
Of the fog and noise around me.

I refused to be another stumbler,
Seeking your attention,
I would state my name,
And my awareness,
Of your existence in my universe,
And let the chips fall where they may...

But you made your existence blatantly apparent,
As if our spike in conversation,
Would prevent either of us denying,
A chemical reaction within our words,
Reading between the lines of you.

And now you linger...
Or not so much you,
But the idea of you,
Lingers on my palate.

Awaiting another taste,
Of what it might be like if our worlds,
Were ever again to collide.

As my thoughts wander,
after a night drunk on you,
I realize I can't remember a time where I didn't love you.

Not since that first conversation
seeing you shimmer
in the movie like snow
that stuck to us as we waited.

I was waiting,
I guess part of me always will be,
For that moment,
when I know it's safe to tell you,
You're the only person in the world,
I'd spend the rest of my life waiting for.

But my fear gets the best of me every time.

So I talk in questions
Sometimes just stay silent
Live in my head,
Swimming in the thoughts you inspire,
Wishing I had notation at the ready,
to get everything down,
but I only get pieces of it,
like you.

Just enough to keep wanting more
but never enough to satiate my need.

I wonder what it would feel like to take the dive,
headlong into you,
to throw caution to the wind
and stop caring what happens to me after.
Simply live in the now.

In the tangible current
that surges between us.
The feel of your lips on mine.
The fear that the world might catch fire,
through flaws in its structure,
or flaws in our structure,
in our inability to follow any rules.
"**** the Man. save The Empire."

I'm too tired to function,
but my brain is on auto you.

I wish I could shut it off.

I dream of life
Beyond
Dusty Walls
City Noise
Stressful Expenses
Imagining a life of ease
Out in the world
Where a Pen in all we need.