When I'm with you, nothing else exists
Only you and your gorgeous smile
Our lips touch and I melt into you
Challenges and frustrations evaporate
As my soul sinks into a dance with yours
It's a feeling like warmth and home
It's all so new and yet
I feel safe lying here with you
Skin to skin, heart to heart
These feelings are indescribable
I trace gentle kisses across your face
And nuzzle my nose against yours
I'd stay here forever if I could
But these fleeting moments are more than enough

I want to let you in
I want to let you see me
I know in my heart that
The universe brought us together
Right now, I'm scared to open the door
Standing at the precipice of my deeper self
It could be so easy to give you the keys
But parts of me feel cemented to the floor
The fear is stone cold against my soul
Clawing away at my breath and my composure
This risk could change everything
Strengthen or shatter this precious connection
I've shown you my pain before
But you don't know of this
The secret space nestled into me
An echoing void that feels so empty
Something is missing here
Something belongs there
But I don't know what it is
I've spent so long cramming this cavern full
Of *****, love, and drugs
And it always drains out again
Because
These things won't make me whole
And I don't know what will

Once you know something, you can't unknow it
I contemplate the echoes of this inner void
Half knowing, half running
So afraid to fully commit
To fully let go
I've chosen to see then closed my eyes again
Unable to hide from myself
I've heard whispers of my truth beckoning
They want me to listen
To work together and grow
I know they're right, but I can't stand the sound
I've excelled at aversion
The keys to silence are in my hands
A couple of drinks or some edibles
Even the numbness of these meds
They're drugs all the same
And they mask the noise well
So at least for a little while
I can avoid it all again

Rest easy gentle heart of mine
Trust in the ways of the universe
Feel fully all that you can
Let your tears water the earth below
From the ache and pain we will grow
And a love like that we'll never regret

When I close my eyes
I am consumed by darkness
I can feel the tide spiralling
Pulling me down into it's depths
A tornado twisting and grasping
I am no longer in control
I have become one with choas
One with the shadows
It's like noise is everywhere
But I'm underwater
Muffled voices slither past me
Garbled tones swimming
I know it's there but
To me it means nothing
Nothing is real and
I am one with everything
Until I open my eyes
There's too much concrete
I am here once again
Awakened in emptiness

My fingers lace through yours
Even though it's new it feels like home
We're surrounded by crowds
But I can only see you
When you reach for my hand
My heart drops into my lungs
A contact so simple
Yet it seems to change everything
Chaos twists into calm
Anxiety transcends to joy
Right now nothing else matters
Just heartbeats and soft skin
You, me
And nothing in between

This one time you said
Your feelings live in your stomach
Well mine live in my lungs instead
Like flowers tangled along my ribcage
My feelings for you steal my breath away
Intricate patterns of greens and pinks
Weave carefully along the cold white bones
And tug so frequently against my airways
They're starting to feel like home
I see your face and
For a second I forget to breathe
Even your name across my phone screen
Pulls my inhalation out of sync
Your arms wrapped around me tightly
Exhale all else nonexistent
The beat of your heart against my own
Feeds those clinging vines
All the air that I have left
But in those breathless moments
When its just you and me
I swear it feels like peace