Here I am
Naked in this bed
Alone
Feeling empty
Or is it the bed...
Who is empty
I don't know.
I stopped thinking
Too much about anything
After the clock on the wall
Began laughing at me.
I mean,
What time is it even?
How many hours have passed
Since you left?

Why does self-destruction
Yield self-gratification
regardless of how ephemeral?

Do I even know how to love?

The only problem
I have with my drinking
Is the problem you have
With my drinking habits

I don't know where
Or when
I expect to see you
Again

All I know is that last time
Couldn't really be the last time
Could it?

Is it wrong
to burn souls
In order to save my own?

When it comes down to it,
humans will do anything
for self-prevalence
and survival

So,
does the arson make me evil?

I want to push him down
into a pile of leaves
Laughing the way children do
I'd fall backwards and he'd catch me
Looking into his beautiful green eyes
resembling the still crisp evergreens
Oh, the trees would be jealous
But also proud-
for their leaves were not wasted
We would lay and watch
the world move on around us
Flowers wilting
Clouds fleeing
Snow eventually following
When its time to fall
into his arms once more
not wrapped in leaves
But in blankets of his love

I've had you playing in my head
Playing on repeat for days
Like every other catchy song before you
I wish I was able to leave you in the past

I counted each and every set of headlights
Hoping they would add up to you

Looks like after all this trouble
All these broken promises
Shattered and abused hearts
You were still my biggest mistake
Not for just what you did
But for believing I would be able to love you

Even now
I realize my life has fallen victim
To some sick metaphor

At this point I'm called
Not by my given name
But of that of a flower

Rose

And for me,
Many times,
Love has come and love has gone

And I burn for the things I have done
I am douced in the flames of infidelity
But I've seen the flowers burning

It's common,
When love dies,
To see the image of fire- set to the lovely petals  

roses

So then, why,
After love has left me yet again
Should I be surprised that I'm burning still?

I would say I got the last laugh
That I was able to rip you apart
But it seems the loneliness
Beat me to it

You'd drown me in an instant
Just to take the air from my lungs
Because it was the only thing left
Willing to say your name

The time I spent in his green eyes
Has me spinning
Drunk off the rush and beauty
I could feel them tenderly stripping away my passion
and silencing my conscience

My body aches still to be touched
Despite my heart's fear of desire
of one day beating
-only for him

After all,
the challenge was
to keep hearts out

-this shooting star shoots across the Sky
Like the tears rolling down my satin cheeks
An invisible corset tying itself around my chest
As if it couldn't also see the imperfections somewhere lower

She has your face
This much is true
But with her soul
She wears it better than you

You called today
I didn't pick up
Because I don't love you
Until I see you loving her

Puff puff puff
'Till my lungs turn black
I want to love him
But he'll never love me back

Marks the spot
Where you buried my heart

Tides that are bigger than you will always turn
That doesn't mean you have to go with the current

Don't call him
He's not waiting for it anyway

I was always enough
In fact,
I was everything you ever wanted
Needed
Thank god,
You finally realized that

Well, I have done a lot of searching
and I know now what I deserve.

I won't get stuck in a trap
of second guessing myself.

If this causes something
that cannot be repaired
I won't live with a shadow
of looming resentment.

Hes the one
Because even in the silence
There is a melody between us
Sometimes the stark sound of nothing
Comforts more than frivolous words

There are better things to cry about
But somehow it's always you

Good-bye to those
who chose to walk away
You did all you could
to save yourself in the end
Your happiness is all I could have asked for

Oops...
But those words never fixed anything

Why can't my heart let you go?

I would do so many bad things
For that one good girl

I bet you could frost me over
Even in the middle of summer

**** this place.

You're going to resent me tomorrow
And the hatred will follow
But I have to do what is best for me
that's always been the key

With all this in me
will I ever be sober again?

Kiss me
Under the wounded twilight

Take me
Under the bleeding starlight

Hate me
For the depleting moonlight

Leave me
Due to the judging sunlight

Please come back to me
Even if it's in another life

Like a tree I gave you life
As a human you cut me down
I had more value to you dead

Your greatest gift
has always been your jaw
Strong and unwavering
Making it nearly impossible
to gather your emotions and thoughts

But your greatest weakness has always been
caught between the moments
you put pen to paper
and sacrifice your heart
Exposing your internal
and true
weaknesses

Now I can see it all

I'm still paranoid
And I'm sorry
I tried so hard
To smoke you away
That I almost did

For all of the special somethings
I did for my special someone
Who made me feel like no one

Where do my words go
When there's no one around
To catch them

He would catch every falling flake
Just so it doesn't melt me with it

I want my coffee white as the snow
And bitter as the man I thought I loved

In the souls
Of these random people
Without taking from them
I'm still able to gather thier pieces
And patch my soul back together

I tossed my body around like a rag doll
until it wasn't even recognizable
as human anymore
Sunset through sunrise
this cycle is how I can justify
doing all the inhumane actions
the routine everyday life the choices I make
can clearly be done so
because what is being done
isn't being done to a human soul

You're not my sunshine
You're my candle
I don't want to share your light
As you lead me out of the dark

I'm drained and damaged
And oddly never broken

You never asked for a lot
But I'm bad at handling things
And I couldn't even give you the minimum

I listen to those sad songs
In anticipation for when
you make my heart recite them from memory

There's no poetic way
To say everything is ****
Some grim realities
Can't be glued
To the wings of butterflies