I fall in love with the flowers before they even begin to bloom
Which is why watching them wilt before they blossom
Kills me the most

Now comes the time
When I full the void
With little red lines

Remember
Something shared
Is almost always
Something lost
Something
You'll never get back
So don't give away
Don't share
Keep all
Stay whole

I thought sleeping with you
meant laying next to you
sharing body heat
not giving you my body
followed by hollowing abandonment

Here I go again
Waiting for my player two
To join in this game
that I have no chance of winning

Tell me that you dreamt of losing me
I want to see the tears in your eyes
As you tell me how I walked away
Hearing your voice break as you whisper
Don't go
Ache as you tell me this other worldly fear
Realize that you're not sleeping
Open your eyes before I'm gone

The pain of the cancer gripping the lungs
Pulls the flesh from the face
-taking the mask with it
The beating creeps up behind the eyes
The disease expands until it bursts
-then the sound of the bullet
Ends alone in silence
Faceless

Do you think butterflies are just as beautiful
Even with wings ripped off?

I'm praying for a miracle
While sifting through this pile of cash
How foolish I must be
To think life could flourish here

Cheers to the girl
Who ripped my heart
To keep hers beating

There are times
Even in love
When frustration becomes
A malevolent force

To my partner
I give it all
Or would even sacrifice
If needed

I love this spirit
With all of my being
But ****
How do I express this

This...


This.

No these


These feelings I have
****
Too many of them
To even count

I don't know if its love
Love makes you want to kiss
And sing
Maybe even procreate

No, but he
For him I feel so much more
My whole body
Feels these things not just my head

I want to live in these moments of misery with you forever
Because they're the only things we have left

She has the kinda face
who needs a saving grace

Baby, hes' a charmer
but I'll tell ya he'll harm her

He is actually the devil
but she'll take your heart and revel

I think you know their fate
but it's already too late

His hands aren't as rough
And his fingers aren't as long
Your lips are softer
And you always tasted sweeter

He'll never hold me as tight
His arms aren't as strong
He's warmer than you in the night
But doesn't call for me like you did

He's never going to be you
And that's hard
I'm never going to get you back
And that's the hardest pill to swallow

I felt it
In that last one
Those sparks on my lips
Those came from two hearts merging
A power so out if this world
The last time it was felt
Or even experienced
Was the Big Bang

I want to say we're post-modern
Like in literature we're new styles
And we test the bounds of the rules

But we're not post-modern
There's one central idea to be denied
That is:

there is nothing left to be created

Maybe for literature that's tire
But not us, no
We create new love
Every day
And with each kiss

Dont let the right time
Lead you into the arms
Of the wrong person

I can feel the storm rolling in
My aching joints tell me it's time
To seek shelter beneath warm blankets
Waiting for the rains to fall from my eyes
And wash away the pains of this body
Mind
Emotions
And soul

He was a wildfire
His flames hotter than the desire I had for him
From the beginning I was locked in his gaze
His eyes the prison I walked right into
His smile the lock I let close
Trapped like the other prey before me
Exactly where he wanted me
Just where I wanted to be
The fear and the rush between us-
That's what started the fire

I never thought
you ever fought for me
Until now
as I see you still on the field
Fighting a war
that someone else already won

Everything hurts so much
And I know that pain
Is around every corner

And I'm trying not to be selfish
I'm trying so hard
To stay here for them

But what's the point in staying
If I'll never get better
Or be the person they deserve

You can turn the lights on
And tear off all my clothes
But I will never again
Allow myself to be naked in front of you

From every nights hearbreak
To the next mornings hangover
I can't seem to stop loving you
And **** it hurts

Please don't grow impatient
with all the time I'll take
realize I'm spending my time
clearing a space for you

How many lies
can I manage to tell
before my tongue abandons me?

Trying to survive you
Will be what kills me

The water calls to me
No, not to me
But to my weakness
However, I am not weak
And the water
Cannot
Have me

The rain last night
Washed away my sins
But
What's going to wash away yours?

For a woman from Hell

How can you not see
That the love I have for you is real
You allow me
into your skin
and every inch of your body
And expect my hands to come back clean
and my heart to be whole

You allow me to touch his skin
Asking my heart to absorb
the love you have for him
But all you fail to see
Are all the little nothing's I feel

It kills me so
To watch you kiss him slow
Wishing silently each time
Those lips of his were mine

Why does he feel
the compulsive need
to compare himself to me
and believes himself to be under me?

I know goodbye
Isn't forever
But time without you
Feels like eternity

Have you ever
cried so hard
your teeth rattled
and your body shook
So much so,
that you were convinced
without a doubt
that your entire being
would crack and crumble too?

And he couldn't show me
How to find salvation
But in the silence
The only thing I came to believe
Was that my scars were more powerful
Than his idol anyway

You think I miss you
You think I'd miss you
But I already don't
even remember your name

I missed out on too much
While missing you
I miss it all
Shame you're missing yourself
And now you've missed me for good

The odds are in my favor
But number are like stars
And they aren't always aligned

I said it would take months
looks like it only took moments

You can only torment a soul for so long
Before it rejects you as its master.

May the Sun provide you the comfort
The Moon stripped you of

You're just a stupid boy
Pretending to be a man
Not realizing that first
You need to remove the protective film of ignorance
To see the image clearly
Until then,
you'll always be stuck here

We leave the room smelling like ***
But when you leave
It wreaks of depression.

You dance in and out of my life-
and around everything I want to hear

You keep me close-
sometimes spinning me away

With each graceful move-
You manage to scuff up the floor

Dragging dirt around-
Until our dance isn't even beautiful

That's what happens when you're unfaithful
Everyone finds out eventually
and rarely wants to hear the excuse
Because there just isn't one

I keep going through your things
And I'll tell you why

First by saying- yes, I love you.
I mean it; I've meant it
Even after I said I didn't

lies
That's what we had left at the end
But once the layer of deceit was cleaved off
And the ugly truth was born
It was more than I could carry

Even still, in this unsettling love I have for you
Long after the truth has grown
To the ripe age of 18 years
And left the nest in my heart
I had built for it
-only so I could save my own sanity
sigh
...I digress:
I still feel the looming lies attempting
To play my heart strings like cords
Of the most out of tune harp

You say it's me
And only me
My foolish heart believes you
My body has already long forgiven you
Mind however; my mind has doubts
Mainly because no one would ever
Choose me
When there were obviously so many other
Her(s) to pick through

So I'll take your grain of love
And for right now
I'll choke it down between my spoonfuls
Of medicine
Salt
And soap

I'm sorry I go through your things still
It's wrong but its how I survive now
You can't be mad either because
Well, you made me this way.

I'm not an alcoholic
I just find comfort
In all the wrong bottles

Just like I learn to love those
Who feign comfort for falseness
In all the same places

How,
after all this time
and the scattered promises
mainly to myself,
am I still becoming my father?

Before I return them
I will drench all of your ****
In my best perfume
You remember,
The one you love most from our
Mhm, first time
So every time now after
You go to reach for it
It's like you'll be reaching for me
And a reminder of all the injustices
and sins you commuted against me

I want to hurt you with this heartbreak
Like you hurt me with this false sense of love

The rush of having those stunning emeralds
Piercing down to the core
Everything inside beats faster
But the world around spins no different
Does it not know what is about to happen?

The fading green gems growing closer
It's going to happen
But where is the title wave?
The rush is gone and turns to heat
Scorching deserts of embarrassment flourish
Cactus needles fill the gaps in time

Looks like it's not this time
But maybe some time soon

...or at least I hope