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winter Jan 2020
Uh oh
That time of day
winter Apr 2020
Different meanings to the passing bird
I heard you've been mentioning my name
I heard it all until 5am
I dream I'll hear it again
There was no moon today
In the place where it should usually be
At this hour
It was full the night before
The sky is clear now
I wonder what it might mean

I went on a walk
And failed to find any cool rocks
winter Jan 2021
The streetlamps of the highway
Frame the void ahead
The horizon rises
Consuming the sky
The night reaches upwards
As if persuading us to succumb
winter Aug 2019
somehow, even now
after every dreadful year
you never fail to appall me
with your prevalence
in being completely devoid of empathy
i wrote a poem 4 u dad lol
winter Oct 2019
I have an optimistic take
on applying string theory
to the afterlife
that there are forms in which
I can give my living body
to oblivion
as a prerequisite
to the potential disintegration
of my string of thought
that it will be reduced
to only a string
and with a voidal imitation
I am already easing my way
winter Dec 2019
if I am not bipolar
then I cannot be saved
winter Aug 2019
i don't care if it's fake
i want to feel it
i don't care if it'll last a month
i want to feel it
i don't care it'll hurt
i need to feel it
winter Aug 2019
an antidote to worsen the symptom
the day, once threatening
the night, now laborious
time passes as a slow & steady tide
but there is no more time for me to wait
there is no more good
there is no more guilt
only the weight,
only the lack
everything is tiring
winter Oct 2020
saying your name
under my breath
over and again
winter Dec 2021
hypocrisy is a beautiful phenomena
that humans can't help but indulge in
winter Aug 2019
who knows me most
knows me not
it is clear,
she knows me not
he knows me not
and collectively
they know nothing
winter Nov 2022
the end of the universe visits me each night and whispers the consequence of sleep
the dark, like a blanket, drapes itself over
the ashes of all we grieve
this bed where i lay, once soft and serene now threatens a place to be burried
consciousness drifts as i draw my last breathe, and what's left is this thriftless worry
i'd like to wake up, and i'd like to live on
but the end of time each day comes
i wish i could've saved all those who are gone
but the pain eventually numbs
winter Jan 2020
save me
cut me open
winter Nov 2019
I am a vessel
for what, I do not know
winter Mar 2020
You are not the one
I'm supposed to be missing
winter Jan 2020
mother gets a call from my sister
I head to the bathroom
And scratch at my face
In my reflection
Nervous habit
Something else had been altered
winter Aug 2019
When I leave,
I don’t have to take you with me
twist it again
I can be unforgiving
In spite of your presumptions
of which you have too many
Our time together is limited
winter Mar 2020
I'd rather evaporate
winter Jun 2020
I want to make lifelong friends
And hold them close to my heart
I am grimly
And often preach my solitude
It is the strength I portray
In hopes of ironically drawing in
The affections of those who need
That sort of reliance
winter Sep 2020
a day again
and still I'm saying
I need help
winter Feb 2020
5th grade and I'm flying high
4th grade and I learn to write
For the second time
I don't know what it means
To reverse the order
But I know how to relapse
and lapse and lapse
winter Jul 2019
what revelation am I supposed to come to?
it’s tiring
i’m tired
winter Sep 2020
I am my own blackhole
winter Aug 2019
a little bit manic
and a little bit dreary
there's not a soul left
for me to turn to
so i spit out poems
on a website with strangers
it won't help, won't fill the void
but it's the best i can do
at least i'm doing it
still not enough
winter Aug 2020
Once I'm on my own two feet
It'll start to make sense
I do not want to be provided for
Anymore
winter Nov 2023
i feel my mouth in my soul
muscles in my cheeks
teeth, cosmic, prophetic
they'll outlast me
winter Jan 2021
Remember those foggy days, Afton?
I was with you when the snow melted
winter Apr 2020
I am no identity
I am a body for the glow to rest on
winter Mar 2020
i like the sound of it
i like to think its quiet
not as a stillness
but as a roaring tide
it shreds and it kills me under its collapse
winter Nov 2021
I'm getting hungrier again
fifty dollars
to last the semester
feeling illegitimate
at the pantry, still
I feel I'm not worthy
of a free box of macaroni
as if I don't deserve dinner tonight
winter Jan 2020
I want to be punched
Any volunteers?
winter Oct 2021
new york
is no longer a song
winter Feb 2022
having thoughts that make me go
aaa i need severe psychological help
winter Nov 2019
I reveal myself and I am lesser
I will never
be loved
by the likes of them
winter Feb 2022
if the days just keep on coming like this i might just have to actually give up 🤟
winter Aug 2020
The ascension and depletion of self-worth
When you lose the ability to write
Relatable poetry
winter Oct 2021
I do feel better when you're near
Although the thought of you disgusts me
Am I complacent in your presence
Or am I truly safe
winter Mar 2022
moon, you are
my only love
when i remember
that soon we'll be one
that is when i
no longer fear death
winter Sep 2020
Horribly hollow
I face the bell jar
with daydreams of face paint
And a pair of nail clippers
winter Aug 2020
Time and time and time and
Time again
They guide you
And even they discover
That this isnt the answer
This isnt the answer
Every time
There is only one end
winter Aug 2019
I'm either dead
or in fear
the inbetween is nice
but still there are sides to the spectrum
winter Jul 2022
suicide is
  sobering
death is
  sobriety
winter Nov 2021
i'm still not getting better
i'm still not getting better
i'm still not getting better
winter Sep 2019
my friends who love
can sculpt a lover's face
onto a sheet of paper
winter Mar 2020
I feel closer to my childhood self
When I am sobbing
winter Sep 2020
I am not the same
And nothing new
winter Aug 2020
for those of us whose arms bend backwards
I see you behind the mirror
And I know you die
The moment those headphones are in
winter Sep 2020
The empty square where the app had been
I used it only to speak to you
so now the lot is vacant
It is a new level of disconnect
a notion I can't help to feel
that I am repeating
I can't stand the silence
winter Sep 2021
I think our souls have touched
Though we haven't shared our names
But your words have moved me
And you've grown attached to mine
And we brought ourselves here
Because there's something underneath
That we both want to explore
winter Aug 2019
there's not enough talk
about accepting death with no afterlife
I can't read hundreds of articles
on how to comfort myself of this fact
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