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64 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
I'm tired
I'm cold
What did I just take
You haven't replied to my texts in days
All I want is to be better for you
Why can't you just say something to my face
64 · Mar 2020
Untitled
winter Mar 2020
Oh god oh
**** me **** me **** me
Devour me while I rest
Lest I wake up
I'll never worship furthermore
Where I never worshiped
In the first place
63 · May 2020
Untitled
winter May 2020
I knew from when
You shaved off your eyebrows
I knew from the stubble
I get it, you get it,
We've all heard it,
But I could swallow your eyes whole
I want to worship your cheek
Frame your face with my own
I thought I was empty
You make me dream of sitting in the rain
You remind me of my life
I want to cherish yours
63 · Mar 2020
Untitled
winter Mar 2020
god you're so pretty
god you're so pretty
god you are lovely
I want to hold your waist
I want to feel your hands
I want to feel your words
As you speak to me
in the flesh
I want to secure you
in the flesh
With my affection,
infiltrate you
63 · Jan 2020
retirement
winter Jan 2020
Congratulations!
for some reason
this kinda ****
is the reason I got abandonment issues
62 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
She hears me not when I call
for her but when I call her name
I see the lines that catch around
her frame, but cannot see her face
I think to speak although she's nowhere near
And dare to dream although I know
she lies awake
in hopes to lie alone and lie for long
Along that growl that she hides behind her
dully, she stares, nothing
And I see it
And I know
She won't let me pry myself apart
but shes gone from me
62 · Feb 2022
Untitled
winter Feb 2022
Bruise Blue Sky you
frame the dirt and
draw the courtyard
62 · Aug 2020
Untitled
winter Aug 2020
Once I'm on my own two feet
It'll start to make sense
I do not want to be provided for
Anymore
62 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
I open my phone
its a text from you
that takes all of passing
to read
3 paragraphs to delicately explain
how and why we are through
If I knew
I wouldn't have opened it
The door shuts
and she tells me to read the poem aloud
My stare that compensates
For the dull of my mouth
61 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
a day again
and still I'm saying
I need help
61 · Jan 2020
Untitled
winter Jan 2020
await me
& forget me
this terminal state
this lawful ending
like an archived scrap
waiting to be trashed
61 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
Smooth and undefined
My pen is unguided
My papers scratched apart
I fear the tear in the white
but I ruin it still
61 · Mar 2020
Untitled
winter Mar 2020
I remember hearing the words
I remember feeling found
When she spoke of isolation
When she spoke of being alone
winter Mar 2020
Cant go on
I cant go on
I cant go on
60 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
its the horror
of seeing them at the age you were
facing the same pain
60 · Nov 2020
Untitled
winter Nov 2020
god is a black hole
58 · Dec 2020
Untitled
winter Dec 2020
unlovable
for the last time I
will hope that another will come along
I hope that
Looking out these windows is a sign
that death is near
and nearer than you
I am so poorly written
i'm sick of it
58 · Feb 2020
Untitled
winter Feb 2020
Dont get too close
Or I'll get cocky
Stare in awe
Only when distanced
And self-depricated
From that my pedestal is built
You see me raised
In my only light
When yourself lowers
58 · Apr 2020
Untitled
winter Apr 2020
shake away my body
hustle when you tear at it
i don't want to be perceived
58 · May 2020
Untitled
winter May 2020
I never should have said it
58 · May 2020
Untitled
winter May 2020
I think some of us are still hopeless
by the end of it
They went through a rough patch &
got over it
but not all of us can
I think some of us are born
Knowing that our end
would be the result of our own hands
57 · Aug 2020
Untitled
winter Aug 2020
The ascension and depletion of self-worth
When you lose the ability to write
Relatable poetry
57 · Oct 2020
Untitled
winter Oct 2020
scrubbing the tears off from under my chin
this was an accident
but i don't have the heart to change it
57 · Jun 2020
Untitled
winter Jun 2020
watching you like this is weird
through a one-sided mirror
there are moments you look straight at me
without realizing that I'm there
you forgot to turn screenshare on,
I think
videochatting on discord
57 · Mar 2020
Untitled
winter Mar 2020
There arent any teams
but they're both against me
I live in two houses
And am welcome in neither
I will forever be stuck
Sleeping on this basement couch
Confined and silenced
A servant of time
57 · Jan 2020
notebook
winter Jan 2020
she is so terribly personal
do i burn her?
but she is so terribly beautiful
i'll rip the pages out again
soon she'll be only her exterior
57 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
don't worry
I'll start writing shorter poems
eventually
57 · Aug 2020
Untitled
winter Aug 2020
Time and time and time and
Time again
They guide you
And even they discover
That this isnt the answer
This isnt the answer
Every time
There is only one end
57 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
I am not the same
And nothing new
56 · Apr 2020
Untitled
winter Apr 2020
Different meanings to the passing bird
I heard you've been mentioning my name
I heard it all until 5am
I dream I'll hear it again
There was no moon today
In the place where it should usually be
At this hour
It was full the night before
The sky is clear now
I wonder what it might mean

I went on a walk
And failed to find any cool rocks
56 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
Horribly hollow
I face the bell jar
with daydreams of face paint
And a pair of nail clippers
56 · Oct 2020
Untitled
winter Oct 2020
I’m scared
I don’t want to meet someone 10 years
in the future and have to do it all over. Who I am now is important.
Who I was in my childhood is so important.
I’m terrified of being so infinitely unknown
I just want to feel home
in someone or just somewhere
I wish 'childhood trauma' didn’t have to ******* up
so bad
years down the line.
Will it affect me forever?
Will it linger as a part of me forever?
Will it one day be so painfully insignificant that
I can move on with my life like everybody else?
Is that what I want?
56 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
Can't get rid of the smell of smoke
And the wounds at my side won't calm down
55 · May 2020
Untitled
winter May 2020
I feel worse for my apathy
Than I do for you
55 · Apr 2020
Untitled
winter Apr 2020
I'm choosing to no longer believe
what anyone tells me about healing
healing is not care or rest
healing
is not sleeping for a week
drinking endless amounts of coffee
writing about isolation
writing about your childhood ghost
and how you've decided
to play your own tricks with time
I am detached and livid
at the assumption that I have processed
anything they've tried to tell me
54 · Aug 2020
Untitled
winter Aug 2020
People were shuffling into the halls in tears
I turned to her and said
'I think I have apathy issues'
She told me she loved me
Squeezed my shoulder
I didnt say anymore
54 · Jul 2020
Untitled
winter Jul 2020
my words have completely lost me
but even i am not gone
i am in love
and without a word
to describe this solace
54 · Feb 2020
Untitled
winter Feb 2020
Get out of my heart
I dont need a reminder
Of the stone in my future
I dont wish to grasp you
If I cant forever
54 · Mar 2020
Untitled
winter Mar 2020
Theres one picture I want to paint
However that may be
I need to grasp
This loneliness
I need to see it in front of me
54 · Apr 2020
Untitled
winter Apr 2020
I am no identity
I am a body for the glow to rest on
54 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
I am my own blackhole
53 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
My fifth grade self got down on her knees
In the center of her childhood bedroom
Held a steak knife to her stomach
Juliet-style
Because that was the only way she, (at that time of her life), knew how to do it
Other than jumping off a London Bridge into some clamoring river
But she couldn't figure a way to get to London
And was more afraid of heights than she was of death
53 · Aug 2020
Untitled
winter Aug 2020
I feel like doing something horrible
But I cannot let it out
So I let it harbor
It is a blow
That I can redirect to my gut
Save you lest it collapses me
53 · Jan 2020
mama
winter Jan 2020
I made my mother cry
Hurts to see I'll never change
52 · Mar 2020
Untitled
winter Mar 2020
I feel closer to my childhood self
When I am sobbing
52 · Feb 2020
Untitled
winter Feb 2020
Handprints on the wall
I'll never know their names
They'll never know our failures
Resting in peace
Without the weight of our legacy
Which has been scrapped thereafter
And withers the print
52 · Jan 2020
Untitled
winter Jan 2020
I don't get why any of them like me
Hell knows I wouldn't
Ew
51 · Sep 2020
Untitled
winter Sep 2020
How many more times am I going to return to this corner of my room
Asking why I've come back to this pain
The bass of it pounds and cancels all other noise until I
Can no longer fathom overcoming it
When will this pain leave me behind
Will it return to me always
51 · Mar 2020
Untitled
winter Mar 2020
What I described months ago in my bedroom
A stranger described just the same in 2008
And I listen to him now
and it opens a portal
There is one man who knows the faux of my emptiness
he doesn't know me, but he knows that I'm there
51 · Mar 2020
Untitled
winter Mar 2020
Let me be ill
And let me be free
I'm starting to sound like you
Nothing could
Disgust me more
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