The sun came down
My body adjusting to the temperature
Eyes adjusting to the darkness
Muscles adjusting to the wear of marching

I feel proud of myself
Something I typically can’t do
The day might be nearing an end
But it’s been full of surprises

I sped the way home
Watching the road turn into blotches of color
Hearing the car roar shifting into third

I didn’t feel fake
I threw away the mask
I became me-Sean
I lived my life-it was worth it

Is it too soon
To sit here thinking about you
Is it too soon
To have my anxiety drift away
Is it too soon
To cling to your words like a necessity
Is it too soon
For life to finally work right
And is it too soon
To miss you

I drove to school
With a smile
Not wearing one
Just living one

What did you do to me
Can you keep it up

The sadness remains
Like a code written in my brain
The brokenness engraved into my heart-
Body and Soul

It’s hard to replace constant contact
And impossible to recreate her warm embrace
But still
The void diminishes

It seems my broken heart found another
A friendship built through darkness
The distance doesn’t seem to matter
If anything-messages send faster

Life may be a rollercoaster
But I feel like I’m living
Yes Kevin-I’ll get in the toaster
But I won’t feel myself shrinking

I didn’t expect to ever cry reading your letter
Especially not this soon
It’s too soon
It still smells like you

I fell
And as I did
The world spun around me
I think the stars were trying to say something-
Oh never mind
I can’t see them-I’m inside
So what were those things..
Maybe it’s air
Maybe it’s hope
Whatever it is
It’s in sight
But out of reach-
So is my ability to get up
So is the handle to my bedroom door
And so is the life I liked living

This time was different
I tried to make you stay
Maybe we’re still the same
But something changed in me