I wish you could see my new TikTok
It’s going to be for you
And for me

My best poems are love poems
I always wanted them to succeed
I wish it meant something now

My walls are clean
My walls were clean
Does blood count as clean
As they drip down the dents and cracks

I leave my fists to dry
But they beg for more
Until I’m no longer sitting in just tears
My tears-my blood-my filth

They don’t leave marks
Just swollen knuckles
I say I hit the wall playing vr
Nobody sees me plucking paint chips from wounds

Chest thudding
Hands shaking
I lose control of my body
Even if my mind still works the same

I can feel my blood flowing
Cold
Tired
But fast

I get a constant chill
My pain goes away
I’m left with a broken everything
Nobody left me like this but me

Why is now normal
What happened to last week
I’m stuck in the past again
This time-it’s permanent

It feels like me
Happiness was too much to ask for
My stomach wants to **** me though
I need an antidote

But I still love you

I understand
It’s just killing me
I can’t be there
That’s all I want to be