I wanna breath
and feel my lungs
not giving out on me

I wanna speak
and have my words meet
a welcoming ear

that will listen
that will understand
that will smile
and take my hand
and off we go

I wanna walk
and trot along
not have my feet drag me

I wanna wake
and for once be happy
make my morning tea

I'm tired of not having someone to understand
if only I knew where you were
I could take your hand
and off we go

tonight i was laying in my bed
and i closed my eyes
i reached out my hand
and i felt their hand slowly, welcomely,
grab my hand
my mind couldn't make out the shape or size of the hand
neither the colour or or the texture
whether it was soft or rough

it was shapeshifting
unable to stay set on one form
cause there is no form yet

this person
whoever they are
i haven't met them yet
don't know the sound of their voice
or whether they have dimples on their cheeks
or what colour their eyes are

i don't know whether their tall with a scruffy beard
or my height with soft lips and a sharp eyeliner

i'm ready for them
now i'm just waiting on them

it's insanely quiet
i can have a peace of mind
anytime
whenever i so choose

i feel so much more supported
i no longer think that at life i'll lose

maybe it was just the weather
but i felt like i could never catch a breath
now it's so nice and cool
and i breath so much better

i'm thankful for my environment
because of it i'm healing at a faster rate
eating full meals
and finishing my plate

air is colder now
skin feels older now
but your face is a blur

by a busy street
lights that blind me
your car passed by me

and i, oh i
didnt feel a thing
and i, oh i
barely noticed it did a all

looked at my mirror
smudges and spots keep me from
seeing clearer, oh but

my hearts pounding and
i cant feel a thing
the noise is load - pretend
i dont notice it at all

leaves are falling down
still green
kinda like you and me
i'm the leaf still growing and you're the tree
that's already ******* sick of me
got rid of me

and i, oh i
didn't want to go
and i, oh i
pretend
i never grew with you at all -
at all v
at all -
at all ^

oh i got better things
my cuts don't sting too much
be grateful for the simpler things
the big things bleed you dry

Bring me home
with your touch
your hand in mine

bring your sunshine onto my cold dead skin

bring me home
look into my eyes

i'm weak
you know i'll let you in

make me feel again
make me feel real again
and maybe then
i'll see your face instead of his

god how i miss
living in love
in bliss

maybe you won't walk away
maybe you'll be the one to finally
look into my eyes
and stay

but i'll do everything i can not to scare you
pretend like i don't need you

everyone knows i'm incapable of holding back
i just hope you like me back

am i
in love

is this
what love
feels like

euphoric highs
suicidal lows

suffering withdrawal
anguish

craving you
like a drug

when you
are gone

elated
calm

only
when you’re here

and i’m in your arms