You cascade over me like a waterfall

We stopped asking questions
Because we were too afraid to
Know the answers.

Every morning I wake with you
I swear I can see
Last nights stars dancing through your hair
And the sun rising in the pupils of your eyes.

I sit, take a sip, of my tea,
It doesn't taste the same
The razors don't take away the pain
Of hearing your name.

She ignited a fire in me
That I prayed
She would never extinguish.

Those lies you spun like a spiders web
Took place, built homes,
Inside my head.

How could our love die
when it lives
in these pages?

Wind mills in our skulls
So fast we can't get a grasp on
Pretty pills
As we stare out
Of barred windowsills

I spent years building up a picture of you
A scenic view
Only to open my eyes and realise
The holes in the cracks
The gaps in the tracks
You'd fell through

And though we're apart
She promised
To stay tangled up in my heart.

The valleys of your mind,
are the prettiest **** wrecks
I've ever seen.

Im a wasted rescue mission.
Throw down your ammunition
i have enough to tear myself apart.

And being in your arms
felt like coming home
and there was no scent more reassuring
Than the sweet smell of your cologne
as it enveloped me
in sanctity, security,
as the purity of your love
set sail so gently
upon my frail, abandoned, shipwrecked
body.

For years i'd survived,
through the intoxication of your love,
And the day you left,
I was forced into sobriety.

This applies to every single one of you. No matter how little you may believe you are worth, I swear to you, you are worth more, way more than you could ever imagine, in your wildest dreams. You are worth the same as those you value most, that girl with the body you aspire yours to be like, those people that you envy for being so naturally beautiful, your closest friends, your family. You are worth every piece of happiness, hope and health. I promise. You are not a diagnosis or a statistic, defined by criteria, percentiles and numerical figures, no. You are so much more. You are more than the inches around your waist, the abs on your stomach, the lbs that creep up and down on the scales, the self defeating thoughts, the highlighting of your insecurities, the constant regrets.
You are the air you breathe, the laughter that slips between your lips, the fight that you said you had ran out of months ago. The love you share and feel, the smiles that sweep across your face, those moments where happiness feels so close that you can almost taste it. You are daylight, the sun, nightlife, clubs and music and drunken confessions. You are a shining star, the scent of your favourite perfume, your most treasured memories crammed into ink and squashed between frames.

Never doubt that you are more.

2013 ©

You're a constellation of stars
The only constellation of stars
In my sky.

Your tongue wasn't strong enough to hold the lies
And my heart wasn't ready
To face the truth

When every bone in your body aches to be relieved through death, When it hurts to breathe, when the thoughts and ideations of self harm cut you deeper than any blade could and the thought of suicide is one of hope not fear, when the burdens you bear are so heavy you feel them weigh every inch of you down, when you wake up with regret that you made it through another night, when you feel like you're drowning in the millions of tears that have parted from your eyes, and yet you march on anyway, you throw away the pills, you put down the blade, you pick up that fork of food and you eat, you don't turn to a bottle or drugs, you dig deep within yourself for the fight you swore you had run out of months ago and you carry on with life, that is the rawest and most admirable strength there is.

The way my name sounds
Sliding across your tongue
And
Departing from your lips
The way it feels as you draw it out
Of your hot breath and into the cold air and place it gently in the cove of my neck

Knocks me off my feet
Every single time

They say home is where the heart is
Well then I haven't been home in years.
Because I have no idea
Where my heart lays

This applies to every single one of you. No matter how little you may believe you are worth, I swear to you, you are worth more, way more than you could ever imagine, in your wildest dreams. You are worth the same as those you value most, that girl with the body you aspire yours to be like, those people that you envy for being so naturally beautiful, your closest friends, your family. You are worth every piece of happiness, hope and health. I promise. You are not a diagnosis or a statistic, defined by criteria, percentiles and numerical figures, no. You are so much more. You are more than the inches around your waist, the abs on your stomach, the lbs that creep up and down on the scales, the self defeating thoughts, the highlighting of your insecurities, the constant regrets.
You are the air you breathe, the laughter that slips between your lips, the fight that you said you had ran out of months ago. The love you share and feel, the smiles that sweep across your face, those moments where happiness feels so close that you can almost taste it. You are daylight, the sun, nightlife, clubs and music and drunken confessions. You are a shining star, the scent of your favourite perfume, your most treasured memories crammed into ink and squashed between frames.

Never doubt that you are more.

2013 ©

Just the sound of your voice
Causes the corners of my lips
To rejoice
Upwards.

And the memories we so lovingly crafted, like a child building sandcastles by the sea, will forever wash over me.

She anchors me
And yet at the same time
Sets me free.

Beneath the surface
I start to boil,
My inner turmoil,
The tangled weeds,
Overgrown in the soil
Of my mind
Begin to unravel and unwind
And once again I am at risk
Of losing myself
Amongst poison ivy,
Planted by the lies
you told me.

Ill blend up the rainbow
and shoot it through your veins

How many opportunities
Do we miss
Because we're too afraid
To take the risk

The fog that night doesn't compare
With the smog you left in my mind

Me?
I am astoundingly lucky,
You make me indescribably happy.
You free me from the deepest of insecurities,
and teach me,
To love myself,
show me the beauty you see,
teach me
to be, all i can be.

Im falling apart,
pick a character, play your part.
Its okay darling
Im a lover of the arts.

No matter how lost I am
You always guide me home.

I miss you
Every second, of every hour, of every single ******* day,
And nothing i seem to do,
Takes that pain away.

I'd spent so long searching for the light outside of me,
I almost didn't notice
It shining from within.

I miss the way my name slipped through your lips the way water slips through finger tips

Amongst the debris, the ash, the embers, lies the very foundation of who we are apart and the inferno we are together.

She was an earth quake
And with one touch
I would forsake
Everything.

What happens when she doesn't want rescuing
When this mission you're persuing
is all in vain.

You have touched me
Left fingerprints
In places no other ever has
And nobody else
Ever will.

You tell me your afraid of the dark
well darling, ill stand in the shadows of your heart
and blaze a path,
so bright,
you won't have to be frightened anymore.

You show me how to make peace with the person I have spent so many years at war with, myself.

Etch your name into
The delicate walls of my beating heart
Time shall not erase you.

Every time we say goodbye
I'm terrified
It'll be for the last time

Darling she's the most beautiful piece of literature
you'd ever have had the pleasure of discovering
reading, indulging in, bringing to life
it's your fault, regret, mistake
that you tossed her to the side
because something less than average
caught your eye

There's no better feeling than waking tangled up in her skin.

i miss the way you planted butterflies in my stomach and fireflies in the pupils of my eyes.

When I hold your hand in mine
I have the entire world
At my fingertips.

There are no words, no carefully stringed sentences, no clever use of metaphors, alliteration, punctuation and full stops,
that allows us to crop and capture,
the rapture,
of love.

Why is it so hard
for us to accept ourselves as we are,
and yet so easy to pick out our
imperfections and scars
and allow them to taint and tar,
combine and define
the picture we paint
The person we are,
and the person we believe we should be.
The staged presentation
we allow others to see.