this poem
has a title
so that all who read it
know
that this poem has a meaning

because without something to reference
a name
or a title
things are left behind

just like me
in all the years
i tried to remain
untitled

rather

anonymous

untitled people
like me
are given no
second glances
no
first chances
no
social advances

nothing

left behind
like a poem
without
a name

O where
O where
can my baby be,
is she a dead mystery,
now just ancient history?

I have million dollar questions
& I stand alone,
holding the bag
with an empty billfold.

She wore swastikas
on her forehead like scabs,
etchings that perhaps
blinded her heart &
the bitterness did flow,
a lifeblood
hardening her sweet-soul.

She acted bold,
took wild risks,
pulled people from the line-up,
taking potshots with their emotions,
play-acting with other humans,
as if she were the only one
with heart break.

Well,
little did she know,
she had no monopoly on pain,
I did.

During a storm, the colors of life wash away
The waters leave what it touches as a cold dull grey
Similarly, this is what is described inside of me today
With which black tar instead of rain flows within my roads of clay

The venom begins its warpath with the first drop of its essence
And spreads throughout my body without any sense of control
It covers my bones and all across my arms
Then my legs, my feet, my head, and my face
Any emotions from yesterday are devoured without a trace
As the venom steadily increases in its path of *******
And turns my happy day into that of dark desolation
The venom churns deeper inside of my body
My smile disappears, I am quiet, this is happening right now
As the venom wraps its tendrils around the outside of my body
No one can see it, but I show it with my temper
Letting no one talk to me as I loathe to myself in silence
The venom speaks into my ears; it tells me,

“Forget about your friends, they only hold you down
Can’t you tell they only see you as some stupid naive clown?
Now, I’ll tell you one last time to abandon all of who you know
Because I’m always a part of you, and you’ll see me again tomorrow.”

It slithers off of my skin
The nightmare creeps away into its abyss
The venom is forever encased inside of my soul
But to collapse to its will shall never be my goal.