Every step I make
I fly a little
Each breath I take
The wind blows away
My mind filled with ache
Catches up to my thoughts
For my own sake
Leave me alone for a while

The words you send
Make my mouth bend
Then I tend
To think of the heart you lend
to me, your friend
whos heart you mend
please let this never end

Always looking for
An explanation why
I never fit in
But facts will always remain facts
I am different
Even if Im the only one
Who doesnt know why

Romanticize
Fantasize
Glorifies
Horrifies
Reality
VS
Daydream

They say
If you run fast enough
All your thoughts
Will finally be left behind
I used to believe that could be true
But I say
If you run fast enough
Youll finally catch up
With all your thoughts

I cant be me
When you are around
I am buried deep
Way under the ground
I want to come out
So scared to make a sound
But someday Im sure
My heart will pound
Let me loose from its grip
To the pain I was bound
I will be known
I will be found

My heart is breaking
For you
But you arent real
How can I feel your pain
But never shed a tear for them
I want to connect
But only you make it possible
And maybe that is because you have no say

I fear standing alone at the edge of the cliff
I fear shaking in the night without a light
I fear living a day without the hope you are somewhere
I fear I will never know you

I am almost at the edge of the cliff
Yet I still stand alone
The darkness is closing in
No light is leading me away
I think of you everyday
But I dont know you are

The beauty of
a broken heart
That doesnt need
to be healed

Black streak
Between slabs of gray
Yellow dashes
Running their way
Head down
Dont hear what they say
Ask for food
When you know you cant pay
Wander outside
The empty cafe
Eyes close
Its been a long day

Shadow
Light
No one
in sight
Comet
Star
I am too
Far
Moon
Sky
I wish I could
Fly
Rays
Sun
I cant so Ill
Run

Sink
Drown
Steal my
Crown
Ocean
Wave
No one to
Save
Deep
Down
I am
Underground
Pearl
Shore
I am
No more

infront of me lies
an empty canvas
i am to fill
with all i have

no words can i write
no strokes can i leave
no color can i show

instead i leave
drops
streaks
waterfalls
of sorrow
that you left
in me

if you loved me
whyd you leave me

if i loved you
whyd i let you

whyd you save me
only to leave me

luv?
Lov?
love?
LOVE?

why is that word so alien on paper?
why is that word so foreign to my lips?
why is that word unrecognizable to my eyes?
why does that word leave me empty?

Do you
Love her

Are you a
Lover

Are they not the same?

The universe told him
He could never
would never
love her
enough
to heal
her broken
empty
dark
thundering
heart
but he didnt care
he didnt listen
he loved her
enough
to heal
her now
full
bright
shining
heart

When asked, "Why do you matter?"
My mind drew a blank...

Why does one matter?
The unique aura they carry?
Thee insightful way they see the world?
The gift they hold within?
That which they will do someday?

Lost;
unable to find one's way; not knowing one's whereabouts.

How do you know
If you are really lost

Never being known
Is a feeling Im used to
So when love is shown
I try not to overdo

But she spreads it around
Like a whisper in the wind
That we have all found

Scribbles before bed
Is all she said
But there must be something more
Though what Im not sure

Heaven once spoke
With laughter I feared
Powerful vocals
That threatened me
But time in hell
Let me see
Heaven once spoke
With laughter filled with fear
We have united
But drifted apart so slow
In my mind
I will never let you go

Some days
I lie in bed
Over come by
A sense of dread
Lips trembling
But nothings to be said
Mind tries to get up
But my feet are bricks of lead
Breaking point is near
My hearts already dead

Lure me in
With a melody of trust
But bury me deep
Under the dust
Hold out your heart
But tear mine apart
Leave me alone
After the love you have shown

The danger of
A voice
Soft as heaven
But a figure
Dark as hell

You'll know its time to leave
If all the truths you are told
Are just twisted lies
Spoken by a masked figure
You once knew

She had a heart of gold
So beautiful and bold
Eyes that drew you in
Not looking felt like a sin
Steps as light as dust
Looking was a must
Smile that broke your guard
Not staring was just too hard

Just there.
Not sitting.
Not standing.
Not laying down.
So then what?
Nothing.
Dust.
Brushed away.
No.
That’s not what does the harm.
Without a thought.
That is the root of the pain.
Once brushed away, gone forever.
No one will remember.
No one will care.
Nothing.
Dust.

Hope lingers in the dust
Death lurks behind the darkness
Faith rests ahead
Tragedy follows from afar
Loyalty clears your path
Pain pulls you back

Its the things I dont do
That keep me up at night
The things I didnt want to
The things I didnt try

Reality is not Hiding

It is being hidden
By liars

It is being covered
By demons

It is being shielded from us
By cowards

It does not hide
It fights everyday to be seen

....like me

Twisted truths
Circle around me
Sent by demons
Hiding reality

Look beneath
Look under
Look past

And you will find
What only I know exists

As we take our first breath
We are handed a tool
Given to us by the creator of the universe

It never leaves our hand
Although we cannot see it
Or feel it
We can sense it

Some are meant to change people
Into better or worse humans

Some are meant to carve the world
Into the place we love or hate

Some are meant to give us hope
Which without we would fall

Some are meant to teach us
What we would never know, other-wise

Some are meant to strengthen us
To become who we really are

Some are meant to save us
Before we disappear

And some are meant to destroy
The better humans we are
The world we love
The hope we stand upon
The knowledge we know
And the strength we lean on

Which tool is in your grasp?

We always think
Those who are alone
Deserve to be lonely
Yet everyday we witness
Sins above all
Everyday we witness
The world we have built
From the outcast
Trying to fit in
To the stray
Keeping their distance
We always think
They are the ones falling behind
But think again
Are they?

the day
we celebrate
how much a person has grown

the day
we come together with
those we have known

the day
we sing
till the candle is blown

the day
we know
we wont be alone

My lifes a show
Filled with sorrow and danger
Its not a promising film
You'll hear them say
As the scenes
Play across the screen
I glance at the audience
The theatre is empty
Except for me
I reach down and stuff
A handful of popcorn
Into my mouth
Hoping that'll stop the sobs
Even though
Theres no one watching

Its not ok
For me to be here
After all Ive done
Thats the one truth I know
But after all Ive done
Ive also learned
You were never
On my side

How could you pick me up
And put me together
Using your own hands
Without a single doubt

Only to push me back down
And break me apart
Using your own feet
Without a second glance

I shouldve known
After all,
Nothing good lasts forever

Who am I to tell you its ok to cry
When I cannot do so myself
Who am I to make you feel strong
When I am so weak
Who am I to let you down gently
When I have been crushed

Who am I to hold out my heart
When not a single of you will take it

The love you never had
The pain you always carried
The trust you never showed
The guilt you were consumed by
The joy you were seeking
The anger you held inside

The rest of them could never see
But I did
Because I was once like you

Fluttering Insides
Dizzy Head
Take a step
Do not fall
Right there it is
That which you seek
But my mind
Is playing with me
Feet of lead
Loss of words
I cannot do this
Collapse without words

Lurking in the dark
I do not see
He comes around
And buries me
My throat closes in
The world goes black
But I cannot tell
Because Im in the back
When my mind comes to
A masked face stares
I pull away
Hes from my nightmares
My body is bound
My head is throbbing
I can only do one thing
And that is not sobbing
I open my mouth
And out comes
A chorus of chaos

I want to heal you
But I cannot feel your pain
Please open the door
Ive seen your eyes rain
You feel so hopeless
Yet a smile you feign
Crying cant help you
Let me be your drain
Call out for help
Before you walk down the wrong lane
I refuse to watch you
End your pain

Its scary
As time passes
I wonder
Am I wasting my time?
Am I wasting my life?
It terrifies me that I might never be able to do those things
That maybe in the future I wont be bringing justice to the world
Even if not those, what if I end up doing nothing
What if I end up becoming nothing?

When the world becomes black
Im almost safe
The impossible becomes possible
And the unreal becomes real
My darkness is kept low
And my imagination flys high
But that can only last for so long
The world will come to color
The impossible will escape out of reach
And the unreal will hide away
My darkness will creep back
And my imagination will be shoved in

But eventually I will go back to the blackness,
Forever
We all will
And then we will be safe forever

I stand at the shoreline
The waves beckon me closer
I listen and step towards the foamy blues
A shiver runs through my body as I step in
I let go of myself as the waves become bigger
Again, they beckon me closer
I listen once more and step closer
This time I dont stop
The waves close in around me
Im surrounded in darkness
I dont feel it as all the light in me leaves
As the ground under me disappears
And I drown

Twisting throughout me
Is
The Color of my Soul

Dull yet shimmering
Rough yet soft
Dark yet bright

It hides what no one will ever see
My darkest secrets and pains
And my brightest memories and joys

The color of my soul
Is meant to be mixed with
The color of your Soul

And meant to become not the Color of my Soul
But the Color of our Souls

Stands on the porch.
His gaze set on a lock.
He peers through the keyhole.
Nothing.
Sets off to find it.
What will open her?
What will free her?
Will he?
No.
It will.
But what is it?
He looks.
He searches.
He cannot find it.
He will not give up.
The house is crumbling.
She is crumbling.
He won’t let her fall.
Not now.
He is close.
He can feel it.

There.
He has found it.
So close yet so far.
Why?
Because she has it.
She doesn’t understand.
She will not give the key up.
She doesn’t know what will happen.
The house will crumble.
It will fall.
Not only will it break her, but it will break him too.

Slash.
Dodge,
Jab.
The chance.
It will only come once.
But you let it go.
Mistake?
Maybe.
The chance.
Only this time, not for you.
It will only come once.
But they don't let it go.
Mistake?
You decide.