we had that one old
photo that always reminds
me how I wanted
to have kids with you, and you
did have kids — just not with me

you, who keep singing
a song after leaving the
room — coming back and
picking up where you left off —
like you never even left

things I left unsaid
walks the plank that is my
tongue, but they won't jump
and now roam my mouth — ghosts with
a LIFE more DEAD than ALIVE

the PARABLE of
the PLEASER:      "can you help with . . ."

YEAH
             SURE THING
                                       WHY NOT

days — blurry, nights — hazed
time poured in a glass-like stream
unremarkably

seated, my back rests
but calm deserted me when
you pressed my shoulders

I can work under
pressure — is it your job to
put pressure on me?

I'm gravitated
like rain from a thundercloud
falling to the earth

a raging river
of thoughts,  a stream of words — the
rest flows out as tears

quickly does the road
get stained by the rain that fell
fast from somewhere else

I saw you walk in—
to this place like an ocean
wave — reclaiming land
                                            (I'm the land)

as long as the sea
ends up on top of me — claimed
inevitably

Dear lover,

I've been feeding the white wolf
while the black wolf sleeps.
The sun sets, and I sleep alone.

If I feed the black wolf
while the white wolf dreams,
would I find you at sunset,
at the end of this red string?

Love,
LL

the cold wind whispers
there's nothing left for you here
so I struck a match

restless, these long nights
looking for you in the stars
found you — I found rest

I have grown restless
thinking how you don't find rest
in me anymore

inside the tunnel
the clown made you cry again
I promise not to

boy ran to the fields
his brother rose to meet him
finally, they're home

that guy who runs through
temples but stays in place — is
life an illusion?

yeah, I'm twenty-eight
next year I'll be twenty-nine
— nasa'n ka na ba?

'di ko na naman
nakuha 'yung gusto ko
— nas'an ka na ba?

ᴵ the wind kissed your hair
just like sakura petals
I can't look away

ᴵᴵ sakuras fall five
centimeters per second
I'm falling faster

ᴵᴵᴵ you're a sakura
and I'm a cobblestone path
waiting for autumn

ᴵⱽ I left home armored
and soon I will be back home
as a sakura⠀

桜

waves rush towards her
sand slipping between her toes
I am letting go

sarcasm demands
shared intimate history
for it to make sense

deep voice drew me in —
close enough to inhale his
secondhand stories

it will all make sense
you can't tell that to someone
who is hurting NOW‎

his LIPS — pressed to my
      nape — bear witness to    the SHAPE
                                        of my EXISTENCE

owning a pencil
must come with a sharpener
or skills, and a blade

got so depressed in
the middle of changing sheets
I slept without one
                                   (for months)

these shifting shadows
of streetlight-lit leaves make it
hard to walk home
                                     d         u          k
                                           r          n

how can you see stars
when you close your eyes shut, but
not when you're awake

look into my eyes
and you'll see how silently
I'm screaming right now

the real sin is not
in two men in love but in
choosing to hate love

skin — your skin — excites
the hell out of me like it's
fine art on the street

sun's hot, water's wet —
and skin was just skin until
I saw it on you

to see you smile like
Sakaguchi Kentaro —
is my sun and sky

I have what you would
call a sleeper build — only
mine is built to sleep

I'd like to take your
glasses off someday, and set
them on a table
then I'll lean forward, as slow
as the way
                        you
             stir
                        your
             cup

I can change the room
but every time you enter
all the noise . . . softens

made of soft mornings
humid noons, quiet evenings —
I dream of summer

is there someone else?
she asked. I told her, yes, this
time, ako muna
          (I'm choosing me)

To JC,

I had no one to tell these things before:

When I found myself lost in this world
because we weren't together,
I caught it wandering in another.

One where you walked on solid clouds,
and I left the comforts of a solid ground.

I didn't want to leave
because you were there
and we were together,

but bells ring, days end,
so I came down.

My feet touched the ground.

Love,
ML

if you wish to know
me, start slow — I'm an image
still painting itself

I step to my right
approaching girl hesitates
she steps to her left

stop me — stop what we're
doing just so I can get
on my knees to plead
                                      (don't)

know that if I leave
I didn't stop choosing you —
I stopped choosing me

glorious rain — we
are a storm within these walls
made of two bodies

they say looks can ****
but why does mine want you stripped
warm — and on my bed