Daylight ends
Caught between
A rock and a hard place
To close for comfort
Save yourself
Wicked evolution
The dark of me
Never my choice
Hell welcomed
Me with open arms  
And poured vials
Of lifeless feelings into my soul
Depression soon followed
Cold and down
On my luck
The stains that never fade
That which doesn’t
**** you only makes
You stronger
Feed the wolf some more
Add fuel to the fire
The animal within continually hovers
Lying to myself
Wallowing in
My self hatred
Coma blues became all I knew
Screaming loudly
That sinking
Feeling in the pit of my stomach
That wouldn’t budge
Walls that housed my consciousness
As I walked
With blinders on
Stuck in my tunnel of nothingness
Guess it was just easier
To sulk in my sadness
It became an addiction
To just give in and give up
Then to stand tall and fight
The endless halls
That shed my skin
And wore me down
Only made me fearless
As I carved a new path
Against
That which I thought I was powerless against me

Delicate release
All at once
Evaporated
Lingering swells
Envisioning
A sweet ceaseless
Devotion to you
Bottle me up
And throw away
My time capsule
Motionless at sea
Uncharted waters reign
Arsonist
Of my life you’ve done enough harm
Time to blow the flames out
Enough
Of the gallows
That have housed me indefinitely
No more will they
Path of the divine
Show me a better byway
To hell with all this constant
Static and destructive energy  
Pull up the anchor
Put all the criticisms of myself aside
And release me from my sinking ship
Rid me of my decayed baggage
And harmful thoughts
Emotionless indifferences are
Finally settled for good
Let me drift swiftly into your arms
Of forever serenity

Pushing and shoving
Paying no mind
Speed of sound
Barely visible
Like a mortician
When the bottom
Falls out like a flatline
Like the bullets
You can’t stop
Ducking and dodging to no end
Procedural attempts
Vicious stomping
Friend or foe
Editing your content
An all expense
Paid trip to the four corners
Of your home that’s held you captive
Skyscrapers
That exceeded
There limit
Outlasted there timetable
A blimp on a screen
When will the little dot
Just vanish
Neither here nor there
Always a story or two
Translucent endeavors
Storms in a lunar eclipse
A deep trance stuck
To your side
Buried still in your eyes

Nirvana
Hands wiped clean
Sins torched
Debt free
Where the flesh and bone
Went to die
An atmosphere
Like no other
Paradise on a mountain top
Thee all mighty one
Is patiently waiting
He doesn’t pick a side
Where the angels inhabit
And the devils not allowed
Not a care
In thee world
Basking in the clarity
Victory at last
It’s not always about the journey
But the final destination
Should make you glamour for more
Moments stuck in a time capsule
Pushed out to sea
Just leave them where they may
The perfect rain
When thee winds
Stop howling
And all that’s left
Is the bright light of thee sun
Then I’ll know I’ve finally arrived
Home sweet home
Better late then never
Sweeter then anything
I could have ever imagined  
Where have you been hiding
All these years
Right before my hazel eyes
Behind those bright blue clouds in the sky
Enunciate my soul vast universe
And let me stay a while
There will be no more tears in heaven

Broken records
A vault in heaven
Unlock me
Velvet sky
Ultraviolet
Final time around
Smallest of
Increments
I never glowed
In thee dark
Frozen visionary
Rush of
Blood to the head
Stained glass
No longer resonates in you
Haunting scars
At the end of
The world
My guiding rope fell
The simplest
Things I found a bit
Of comfort in
Who would have thought
Banish the stagnant air
That chokes my inner being
Reeling gray matter
You’ve never been
A gentle creature to me
I’ve seen
All I need too see
I know what I’ve always felt like
The time
Nor place really
Doesn’t matter
Just know it will come
To be true
Turn my darkness into fluorescents
Of guardian angels dancing
Surrounding me in there protection
Taking me in
Transparent skies align
Illuminate my soul into
My true fate
Where my body goes to a sand pile
And my soul is revived
Reflective moments
I don’t want them anymore
Like riding out a lightning storm
Without the rain showers
Drowning you slowly but surely
Opaque not for another day
Not walking around with blinders on
Openly accepting what
Was promised to a believer in you lord

Replicated
Never duplicated
Leaning forward
Tumbling
Twelve steps backwards
Backhand blues
Struck me again
Omitting me
From me
Etched in
Braille yet
Somehow I understand
My own language
The crowded streets
Forged in my head
I wish I could unplug them
Yet they are the reason
I create with such flawlessness
Shivers in the
Tiniest crevasses
I’ve come to grips
With my psyche
And the abilities to express
Myself differently
The plethora of ideas
That run at mach speed
Fire on all cylinders
I just try my
Best too keep them all at bay
Yet it can’t seem too
And create something anew
Stuck in a daze
My happiest place
The juices never stop flowing
Like a finger
Pulling the pin from
A hand grenade explosion
Writing seems to be
My only true coping mechanism
In every situation
It all feels so relatable
Despite the hectic frustrations
That run me over at times
You will never see another me
I’m far from imitation
It’s only me trying to find
My true meaning in life
Yet maybe I already have

Blessings that
Never came gift wrapped
Screeching sounds
Syllables overlap
Often superimposed
My being
Create and replace
Resolve a face without
Meaning
Switching places would
Have been all so grand
Petrified forests
I ran through
The thorns on my sides still sting
My tumultuous depths
Only widened thee longer I ran
In place
Tears filled
The air I breathed
My hero
Is someone I’ve never
Met let alone seen
With my own eyes
Luxuries taken
For granted
Selfish desires only
Led me into addiction
Self medicating astray
Sitting alone on my perch
If perfection
Was a currency
I’d be broke
Life hasn’t always
Painted the prettiest of pictures
Just give me my
Spoken word and a playlist
Of my choice
And sky’s the limit
What might come out
Because these are the
Only real truths I have
These are not made up stories
Sugar coated
With pixie dust
About how the grass is
Always greener on the other side
Because my dilemmas have
Always told me different story

Crossing over
Erase thee
Undeniable hurting
The story I fumble through
Constantly
Gazing
Through an empty stare
Satellites
Hovering waiting
To be discovered
Passing by
In my rearview
For only a moment
If only I noticed
You more before
I threw away
The greatest gift I was ever handed 
Slight of hand
Mischievous glare
You had me
The moment are eyes locked up
Your my harshest mistake
Yet my greatest joy
A one way ticket to jubilee
Biggest regret by far
Losing
The one angel worth waking up too
I tumbled into a landslide
After you went away
When that truck drove out
Of the driveway
I fell to knees
Knowing **** well
I’d never truly
Recover myself to any degree
There is never enough heat
To revive me from the cold
Shivers that run ramped on
My dreaded soul without you
I feel such nothingness
As the emptiness twinges
The echos howl in pain

Time we can’t
Get back
All we have is today
This very moment
Nothing less
Let’s make thee most of it
So lost before
Empty dirt roads
Consumed me
I was looking for
A wholesome highway
A light at the end of thee tunnel
Out of the darkness  
I walked alone
For a very longtime
Guarded my heart
Kept my head down
Had no interest
In finding a partner
Or love for that matter
I hid myself
Because I never
Felt good enough
For anyone else
Let alone myself
I’ve had
To make adjustments
Step out of
My comfort zone
And that’s not always easy
Wether I
Deserved you or not
I’m eternally grateful
To have you
It all happened for a reason
Then you came
And now you’ve
Become thee
Best parts of me
Worth seeing
The lord works
In mysterious ways
An Angel appears
When you least expect it
Out of nowhere
You changed my life
Good things come
To those who wait
It was a miracle finally
And I never saw it coming
Like a flower in bloom
I had no expectations
Just a hope of sorts
You were different
Sweet to thee core
Took the time
To get to know
The real me no judgments
A beating heart like no other
Three years later
Through thick and thin
It’s a lot of work
And here we are
But for thee first time
Feels worth it to me
Feels like a dream
Worth waking up too
The lord
He must have known
What he was doing
All along
Bringing us together
Many wrong turns before this
Finally I made thee right one
Then came you

Heart Beats
Barely a sound
Dust in the wind
The moons gone dark
Smashed into
Pieces a killer for hire
Bullets
With butterfly wings
Tears fill my soul
Ring around the sun
Haven’t I mourned enough
Discrepancies a plenty
Divine intervention show face
Unresolved torment
Why does the dark
Wear me like a coat
Fill the voids
I can’t seem to fill myself
Be my everlasting hope
Wings of gold
Wanting to live
And waiting on yourself
There’s a big difference
It could be a while
They are two different
Ends of the stick
Spectrums a must
Infinite energy in abundant supply
Healing
Is what I desire the most
My quiet reverie swoop me up
Light of light
My halo of hope
I cling too
It’s far to easy
To turn your back
On yourself
Fall into the trap of the enemy
Yet no matter how
Destructive I’ve been
You’ve been the one constant
My fortress and rock
Blind to the simple fact that
I can’t be fully alive without your grace
I’ll never take you for granted
All I want is to be by your side one day
My grandeur

MURAL
Open mindedness
Casual tones
You have to be open
To exploring the many possibilities
When it comes to what you might see
Cassiopeia
The northern lights
Illuminating illustrations
Come to life
Trajectories expand
What starts out
As nothing more then a vision
Blimp on the screen
A simple idea
Eventually is executed in it's truest form
Plural elements
Thee imagination
Has a mind all it's own
Absolutely nothing's off limits
With an end goal in mind
Undivided
There are different
Shades and contrasts
Forms of artistic
Expressions creativity
They come in all shapes and sizes
Some use words others use images
Sounds etcetera
The freedom to create
As we see fit
A priceless blessing
The gift that keeps on giving
Empty rural walls
Plain and bare
To thee corners of the earth
Across many continents
Day after day stories are being told
Paint me a picture
Tell me a story
I'm in need of some
Harmonizing illustrations
Distinguishing characteristics
I can call my own
Thee architect
Designer and creator
Brain storming tirelessly
To come to a conclusion
A finished blueprint
Now we may proceed
Gathering my supplies
Laying out plans
Finding the necessary ideas
Before it's too late
To execute a work of art
My final masterpiece
Something that will leave
A lasting impression for years too come
Remembered by all
Clear thee air
Carve your initials
In me
And make me relate
Splattering paint all over the walls
Mushing it all in
Doesn't appear to be much
But if you look deeply enough
You just might be surprised
Caught off guard
There's more then meets thee eye
In things that are silent different
A picture speaks a thousand words maybe more
Mural on the wall vastly under appreciated

Baby steps
Became leaps and bounds
Waking on ambers
As my truth serum
Takes hold
I’ve stared
My own demise
Deeply
Dead in it’s eyes
Of nothing
Numbs me like it use too
The enemies all around
One bullet
In the chamber
I caved at first sight
A pain that knows
No limits would become
A cancer of a lifetime
Cut me from
Limb to limb
A wound without
Relief in sight
Provoked
By evil spirits
Or just plain bad luck
Fell in my lap
I knew from
A very young age
That something was definitely off
Yet I was defenseless
Just a boy
What could I do
Manipulated by the worst
The debt that
Is owed to me
Could never be repaid    
Not in a thousand lifetimes
The surpassing moments
That fell of a cliff
The damage had already been done
And could not be resubmitted
For approval
My halcyon fallen imbecile dream
Quickly evaporated
Lacerated by more wrong doings
Then one should have to endure
Then I’d ever care to admit to anyone

Skin deep
Slipping quietly  
Into your swan song
Faithfully I am yours forever
A graceful calming
After thee storms have passed
Cradle to thee grave
The walls are finally crumbling
And the cuffs
Are finally dissolving for good
No longer sinking
To the bottom in concrete
There’s no longer a
Need to wanna feel numb
Weightless matter
Starving to be empty
Free from me
Aftermath to
New beginnings
Peace of mind at long last
No more
Free falling
A refreshing light
So exuberant
Why do it take so long
To get to my ending
Resurrected by you
Eternal sunshine
In endless abundance
With no end in sight
For as far as
My soul can see
Everything’s so clear now
My eyes no longer hurt
Where the distorted noises
Of life have been turned off
Completely
And I’m finally healed fully
Arriving better late then never
Or not at all
Unconscious spirit all is quiet
And I’m finally in the arms
Of a everlasting peace
That I’ve been in search
Of my entire existence
For all eternity you are mine
Be still my son

Intensely deep within  
The lifeless gravity
Possessed by past images
They run wild
Obsessions a plenty
Sirens buzzing
Tread lightly
Brighter side of grey
It all boils down to this
Why have you not
Treated me better like an equal
Salvage break
Down thee barriers
Revive a one off like me
Please make sense
Of this preoccupied mess
Circulating thoughts
Swallow me
Something all too familiar
Renting space
Has always been a problem
There is zero room
For failure
It getting hard to focus
Is there rest from
My weary mind
Out of touch with reality
I’d rather step out of my mind  
And not return
May I float on a cloud
Of perpetual serenity
One by one slow down already
Cut the cloth null and void
I don’t wanna
Play your ***** games anymore
Staring deeply into your darkness
Has taken the life out of me
As I’ve plummeted to the bottom
All I ask is you leave me alone
And let me unravel quietly without you

Battle after battle
Remembering everything
Yet moving forward
The bottles
That I couldn’t
Quit fast enough
The devil almost killed me
A past that will
Never define my whole story
Was never truly me
Only a disguise
I finally took off
The sun
Almost went down
And never came back up
As I struggled to breathe
Keep myself afloat
Looking back
Has become aggravating
As the darkness
Found another place to roam
Other then the hallways in my head
I got sober
I long for much more these days
Battered and bruised
I’ve bled enough
I no longer crave the self medication
That I thought was my way outta here
The poison that numbed me
For a almost a lifetime
Each bottle told a story
All its own
A sad tale of the longest
Lonely days and nights
Of my life
Thee attempt to annihilate my soul
And crush my spirit forever
Was defeated head on
Yet I’m here today standing taller
And prouder then ever
While everyone else thought I
Was a goner for sure
But he had other plans in
Store for me

The fury
In thee embattled
Moments came
And went without cause or concern
Fabricated me
Engulfing my traumas
Pandora’s box
Took the part
Of me that didn’t belong here
And made it an inferno
My celestial city awaits
And my soul will be comforted
Like never before
Receding censorship
Uneven playing field
Overrun with angst
It’s finally okay
To let go for good
Release the hold of
A troubled lifetime
And give it all to him
Skeleton to dust
A face that once had a name
Now living elsewhere for all eternity Raindrops turned to sunshine
The ash on my forehead no
Longer stings
Fruit from
The wrong tree they fed
Me I ate it
Unapologetically
They helped in my demise
Destroyed my livelihood
******* me up real good
A difficult life I’ve beared
The circles of life
Some far from gratifying
Carved from stone
A stepping stone
One day I’ll ride freely highly above
And have my redemption
Finally absolved of this life
All because of you holy one

Lines on my face
Worn dancing over me
Taxing realizations
Sensations enchanting
The nearness of you
Yellow and blue
Make green sophisticated
Complications strewn
Scraps of torn pieces
Strung together
Paper airplane
Ready to fly
There's a hunger
A longing to breathe freely
Escape thee unreliable sources
Sketches drawn in the sand
Washed up lagging behind
Caught in the tide lost at shore
An emptiness complains the parts that aren't me
Yet for some reason always present
And I'm daydreaming fiercely
Independently somewhere else come away with me
Let's combine walk together
I could almost go there
Just to watch you be seen
If I could stay asleep
Dream in continuum cause
I don't want to leave
Thee comfort of the vividness
That I find comforting while I'm there
Pieces of a dream effortlessly floating in air
In the morning streets of my mind

Walls are closing in
My wings
Have been clipped
Tunnel vision
Remembering has
Always been my biggest flaw
Boughs down
The grounds shaking
Evil spirits grinning
A waking hell
The mainframes
Been compromised
The fury has just begun
A lackluster life
All due to my polluted mind
Like a sick disease
Where’s my cure at
The real me is in hiding
I’ve never seen him before
When will the madness cease to exist
Waiting till thee ghost is clear
Will the storm clouds ever
Pass completely
Pretending to be okay
Someone else just doesn’t suit me
Entwined the light and the dark
Where’s the compromise
The colors are fading
In my world what’s real
And make believe is beyond me

Master to my slave
Taking your
Sweet *** time
False demonstrations overpowered
Glass elevators shattered
Misleading vibes
Wrong floor
Levers I should
Have never pulled
A right of passage
That wasn’t laid out properly
Denied my privilege of free reign
I died a
Thousand times over
Fantasies a fake reality
Could I ever over empathize
That enough
There’s an absolute difference
Take a look around
I need an out route
A backdoor to salvation
Shield me
From my outer self
The holes in my chest
An absolute savageness
That this life has served up
Many a sins that ravaged
If you don’t reveal another
Thing that would be quite
Extraordinary to me
Be my one and only cloak
A way to be revitalized
In another universe
Everything’s out
Of focus keep me in your sight
Conceal me till thee time runs out here
Could it be
The whole time
I’ve been here trying
To convince myself of anything else
That the pale moon light
Has danced in my head like a evil heathen often does

Pale moon light
The catacombs
Missed there mark
Simulations downgraded
Shocked energies
Truth serums
Singled me out
Running endlessly through
My veins
When will the novocaine
Fully activate
Mercy show me
A little compassion
Connecting the dots
Vortexes in a fiery
The whirlwinds
I saw coming yet
Couldn’t get out of the way of  
A clarity I wish I could taste
That leaves no doubts
No stone unturned
Wait I take that back
Leave them in the ground
Enormous wounds
Lapses in the brightness
Uttering carelessly
No ill will
Intended yet
Poorly executed delivery
Your lips
Are moving
Yet your voice
Is barely coherent
Escape hatch
Buried deep in the tunnels
Of this hectic animation
Locked from the inside
A stranger housed in a black lagoon
Prowls like a lost soul
Where is his gatekeeper
Creatures of the night
The degrees of separation
Can’t seem to
Change me fast enough
Hollow out whatever good still hides
Like a stranger inside his skin
A one off
With enough blemishes to
Make me honesty question my true nature

Empty bottles
Tell there own sorrows
Borrowed time
Wasted days
When it all falls down
Comes apart at thee seams
Fault lines shifting
Harboring silence alone
Looking through
Thee glass
Nothings clear anymore
Kaleidoscope
Storms fill my eyes
Ground zero blisters
When the sun forgets
To rise and thee clouds rain down
On me
The botched minutes
Fall by thee wayside
Seconds feel like days
Ducking and dodging
Every moment
I’m awake
Clenching my fists too no end
Waiting on thee fire
Too set my life aflame
Signs all around me
Holding on to a prayer and a whim
Waiting on the end to come
Battlefields scattered
Endless miles they stretch
A peacefulness
Guess I’ll never know
I miss numbing thee pain
Falling down thee rabbit hole
Forgetting if only for a moment
Sobriety only hurts
More then thee day before
Old feelings resurface
Tear me too shreds
A fight you’ll never know
Unless you’ve gone face
Too face with thee devil inside
Like I have
A frame of mind never
Understood far from kind

Drifting afar
Winding roads
Empty back streets
Discovering
What’s real or make believe
Who’s really got your back
Thee tone of my soul
Changes like thee weather
Demons roam only fools rush in
Finding clarity in thee madness
Now that’s a tricky one
Has anyone really seen
The real you when you
Weren’t bent outta your mind
With open eyes a sober frame of mind
I think not
Did anyone ever love me for me
A mixed bag how could they
When they didn’t even know
Who I truly was without a bottle
Strapped to my hands
Looking for a ride a way out
A quick fix if you’ve got one
Piggy backing
On everyone else’s
Coattails what a joke
Being someone other then me
Living a false dream
Through someone else’s eyes
When all I ever wanted
Was a life I could be proud of
And too find genuine happiness on my own

Holy water
The scores now even
Blessed be thee one

Thousands of tears cried
A million heartbeats
Gravitational pull

What I’ve always coveted

When judgement day
Comes knocking
I hope I’ve met my quota

Showering pixie dust
Angels gracefully
Dancing about in pixels

Life was just
The tip of the iceberg  
My garden of Eden

Pales in comparison

To a world
Drowning in sin and darkness
Time to close the drapes

Like heathens in a draining swamp

A clandestine palace
It’s truly
No secret to your faithful followers

Illuminating Arcadia
Eyes wide shut
Ready for takeoff levitate me

Harps and violins
Serenading my soul
Playing my swan song

As the pearly white gates unlock

There massive doors
To me  
Thank you
For saving a damaged wretch like me

ALL MIGHTY ONE

FOUND IN HEAVEN OR PARADISE

TRUTH BE TOLD IM HOME NOW

FOR ALL ETERNITY AND BEYOND

One minute your here
At any moment your
Name could be called
Today is all we truly have
Tomorrow is a gift
Not a promise
Watching thee sunrise
And set is a blessing
Everything in between
Is a process
Life is what we make of it
A celebration like no other
Never forgotten
Every single moment
Of every day
You can’t put a price on it
Kindness genuine
Comes in many forms
Goes a long way
Has a everlasting affect
Better then most loved by many
If only you were still here today
A well that never runs dry
Thee impact you had surly was felt  
You’d be happy
Knowing just what a difference
Your time here truly meant
To others
You never know who or what
Might come along
Stop you dead in your tracks
And touch your heart
A like mindedness in this life
Deeply have an impact
Help alter your course
The little things are what matter most
That’s what life has taught
Me through the many trials
And tribulations
Who’s still standing by your side
Speaks volumes of who you are
Lend me your hand
And I’ll show you thee way
When someone speaks
All you’ve gotta do is listen
If only only for a moment
It may help lift your
Spirits up to greener pastures

Convicted
You had zero remorse
Hijacked before me
You stole
What was rightfully mine
A calculated move
I woke from
A stupor
My derailing train jumped
Thee tracks
It just had to be
Me a splitting
Image of you
Your dark
Gospel cast a spell
I needed a recourse
Swinging for
The fences never
Added up
Duplicated you and I
What a shame
A white picket storyline
Wrapped up neatly in a bow
Where is my happy ending
Fact or fiction
Secondhand smoke
I should be
Six feet under
As the
Red moon burns
Disintegrates whatever’s left
I haven’t a clue
Only adds too
The pure distain I’ve felt
That’s plagued me
Has slowly ate away at my soul
The lore of wrong
That has glued itself to me
My immoral compass
I lost my direction
Before I ever knew which way to go
A mythical creature
I became
Some lie made up of everyone’s else’s
Body of work
Wipe the slate clean
And tell my a real story for once
The absolute truth
And keep your tireless fables for yourself

Pessimist
Disregarding
My sentiments or what I fancy  
A quailty of life
That doesn’t seem to hold firm
Ailing me along
Day or night
The object
Not of my desires
X marks
Thee spot
Never ending patterns
A montage of seasons
Like a unsolvable riddle  
Can you tell me
Where exactly I’ve been too lately
Never receding  
Rarely forgiving
******  
A mercenary for hire
Cursing profanities
The outside noises
Pale in comparison
To thee whispering hollows
Of my wicked garden
Perfect illusions
Far from desirable  
More like complacent pillars
Seldomly comfortable
In my own skin
Your opinions
Pale in comparison
To my point of view
In the vacuum of my mind
Deconstructing unrelenting
In irrepressible amounts of guilt
Why can’t I feel like myself
Why must these false pretenses
Flare up
Hold me in positions
That aren’t up to par
Continually stuck in neutral

Swallow a pill
Sky’s falling
There’s no telling
Disappear
And hit thee ground running
You can’t outrun me
No matter how hard you try
Your no match
To block out thee noise
It seems to only
Get louder more intense
As thee years have gone by
When thee
World stands still
And I can’t move
I know I’m in for a ride
The merry go round
That won’t stay in place
Constant chaos
I’ve fooled myself
A time or two thinking other wise
Caved in to thee pressure
But he never
Gave up on me
I should always trust
That he has my best intentions
At heart easier said then done
When you’ve seen what I have
That almost becomes
An impossible task
Tunnel vision that’s one sided
Hard to focus
Find a soft spot to land
Waking around with blinders on
Stuck inside someone else’s thoughts

The mirrors
They are shattering one
By one shards of glass
Cutting there beings in half
Hand prints
On thee walls fair no better
Falling on deaf ears
Temperate overloading
The great divider
Entombed all this world
Shall one day be
Nazareth
All this is
Probably what you never
Intended it to become
The ringing
In my ears
The stone my heart has become
Hate and division
No love for thee other side
Issues abound
The blasphemy
That stirs
Along with the
Sights and sounds
They all shift to bad intentions
Destruction is only a few
Seconds away
As a matter of fact
The vibes
Down here are
So very alarming
The views are slowly subsiding
I find myself
In the faucets of my mind
Wanting to shut it all off
Bulldoze this
Fake reality that turns
And burns my soul
How complacent these minions
Have become
Bitterness and anger
Is the driving force
The ultimate power and greed
What will ever be enough
For these heathens
Emerge creator of it all
And wipe it all out
Once and for all
Because then there would
Be nothing left for them to
Fight over
Rid the world of its sick twisted
Institutions and self indulging ways

Supernova
Seeping in your deep haze
When will I rise above
Repenting
In a room full of angels
Where have your
Wings gone so calloused
You are
How deep does
The rabbit hole go
Free of mind
Bleed out my thoughts
Three strikes
Your out
Like a cat with nine lives
No more left
Purge this dungeon
The cruelty in vain
A fabricated version
I’m tired of watching
Shed this skin
Ecdysis my soul
Like a snake
And give me a new coat
One day
My soul will rejoice
The passive aggressiveness
Will falter to smoke
Confessions of
A man who feels more then he should
Too much I overthink
I pray for
My wrong doings and transgressions
Forged in fire
They turned me against my will
Just thee
Tip of the iceberg
Time for a mic drop
A more inviting stage
Extraordinary forces excelled
Against me exceeded my expectations
A pain threshold
With no bounds
What a living object can withstand
Before he finally breaks
The unlimited obstacles
Unhinged toxins of this life  
I’m long overdue rundown like timber
In need of my absolution indeed

Hollowed out
Like
A match to a flame
My viscera
Destiny had
Other ideas
One eyes on the prize
Thee others shut
Subjected negligence
Begging for relief
Buying a oneway ticket
Bursting colors
Like a pinwheel
Motions in the shadows
Shaped my shores
Clinging to me
Plucking me over
Like a bad habit
It only intimidated
The stronger it became
Pushing and pulling me
Tug of war
The hurt locker
Took it’s toll  
Like clockwork why couldn’t
Time just stand still
Thee abyss
Forged me in it’s venom
Slowly stripped my sanity
And rained on my parade
Unlike me my discombobulated circuit board overloaded
And had me asking
Who the hell was I anyway

I’M HONESTLY NOT BOOK SMART. OR WELL EDUCATED!!! BUT THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOX TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING AND THEN SOME!!! AND I DON’T WANNA TOOT MY OWN HORN… BUT I THINK I WRITE EXTRODINARY POETRY… MANY LAYERS INDEED ✍️☀️👊

Life’s everlasting
Landslides devour my being
Drown the life
Right outta me
Soak up what’s left
And wrap me up head first
Is there ever
Enough elixir
To wear thee makeup off
Wash away
The razors edge
Taking the cape off
I can’t fly alone
Me versus me
Head to head
It’s always felt
Like a thick fog
I can’t see two feet
In front of me
From where I am standing
Illusions that bind
Mask my fears
And deepest pains
Hold me still when I’d rather not
The infinite sparks
In me that hide my blues
Scariest truest feelings
That make me sick
And keep me going at the same time
How could this be
Hiding me behind my eclipse
Solar flares burning doors
Afraid to come out of the dark
Sedated as the light burns
Me to ashes
As the day walker in me
Turns to sand
When the lights go out completely here

A never ending
Voice demons
That took over me
Tossing and turning
Stuck in a trance
Biting thee hand
That feeds
Thee lower I went
Thee hurt
Never seemed to fade
It fell continually
Buried me alive
Self inflicted
How thee hell could I not
After all I’d seen
I didn’t know
Any other way
Wanted to mask my pain
Numb to thee core
Afraid to face myself
In thee mirror
Straight insanity
Was unleashed
A dog that wouldn’t stop hunting
For peace of mind
A calming place to lay my head
Finally hit rock bottom
Awoke and fought an uphill battle
Years later reflecting
On living sober and clear headed
How refreshing
Realizing that I’m a survivor
Of a tragic past I didn’t deserve
I almost gave up on life  
But glad I didn’t
Thee almighty one
Had other plans in store for me

Motorcades approaching
Billy clubs
Violently swinging

My savior
Almost didn’t see
The light in my days

A better me

Problematic equations
Over complicating
The simplest tasks

Hurting the most

Life’s gains
Became my black hole
Time was wasting away

Two worlds
In a throw down
Collided as the battles

Raged on

Angels and brainwaves
Effortless breaths
I wished to attain

Lynchpin of evil

Is no leader
I wanted to follow anymore
Taker of harmony ousted

Brian waves fizzled

Leader of the armada
Squeezed me
From the inside out

Like a lemon
That tasted so sour
But now I drink lemonade

Took me a while to adapt
To the sweet taste
Of life

NEVERMORE will my alter
Ego rule over
My HAPPINESS

Sleight of hand
Diagrams only
Confused
The many regrets basking
In a hand basket
Trying to stay warm
A smoking gun
That never missed
The kiss of death
Our long fought history that stained
Ace of spades
It’s best to just let it be
Game over
That dog won’t hunt anymore
The sun went
Down on us
Long ago
And I realize
There’s absolutely no
Turning back zero chance
Fabricated you and I
We may be blood
But we are far from
A perfect oneness
But what we had
Was never truly genuine
In my eyes a made up lie
To help us feel better
About the true likeness a
Maternal bond  
The differences that cloned
Between us
My hearts bitter
And my walls went up
To shield me from you
And the sick and twisted games
The theatre you held me in
Like a puppet
I was sick of the hurt
The way you dragged me
Through the mud
I find myself resenting you
Far to much
And I don’t want to be reminded
Of you and thee
Hatchet that will never be buried
Between us not in this lifetime

Phone lines are dead
Time after time
Healed never
Looked so fake
In the palm
Of my hand
I hold onto everything
Lonesome blues
The snake bit me again
Shed my skin
The wounds I wear
Make me feel so filthy
I don’t want sympathy
Where exactly has that gotten me 
Tethered soul
I want my great awakening
Love can be so cold
Phony and cruel
And holds nothing back
Turns on you on a dime
You were suppose to be kin
Blood through thick and thin
But I quickly learned better
An outsider I felt like  
Don’t be fooled
Just because the lights are on
Doesn’t make a house a home
I didn’t fit in
Because I’ve always known
Exactly who who you all were
And I didn’t wanna be around that
The negativity always showed
Face it’s true self
Especially when I was always looking  
Over my shoulder
Guess the apple doesn’t fall
Far from the tree
Vilified in the eye of the storm
When will I see my
Truest day in the sun
Receive my pardon the justice
I so deserve  
To leave this sick evil place
And find everlasting peace and freedom once and for all

Dragging
Myself around
Wilted roses in my garden
The beats
Had no rhythm
Spotlights blinding
Gave me
Stage fright
My opaque
Image the bottles
That I hid in
My very existence
Felt numbing like a whirl wind
The science
Behind my being
Puzzled me to thee core
Beating on my
War drums defeated
More then I like admitting
As life often came
Bearing down
I never
Wanted fame
Maybe to be
Noticed once in a while
I preferred thee
Shadows
Behind the scenes  
Is where I found the most comfort  
Let alone to be comfortable
Enough in my own shoes
Towards the end
I learned to embrace
My loneliness
As I often reflect
On the journey of so many steps
I’ve lost count
With the finish line in sight
My final destination
A tent revival
The free falls often
Led to overbearing confusion
But what’s left
Of my penumbra remains
Will be reexamined elsewhere
By someone who truly cares enough
About me
More then I ever have about myself

In the blink
Of an eye
Devastating days
Led to years on thee run
When the storm clouds fade
At thee bottom
Dreaming of the top
What you want
From me you already got
Circle the wagons
Running in place
Not liking what I see
I’ve never been
Able to make amends
With myself
Maybe when
I’m gone they
Can finally take the noose off
Separate my soul
From this mind and body
That has ultimately let me down
Forget about life
That’s a whole other story
Every breath
Becomes harder then thee last
Convincing myself
Too keep my head in the game
When I’d rather just rip it off
Becomes harder and harder
Hindsight is twenty twenty
In my case the complete opposite
Semblance is me pretending
I’m somewhere else
Floating on a cloud
In someone else’s body and mind
My spirit wants what it wants
Freedom to break free
From me for eternity

If your thee
Only friend I've got
Then I've already won
Luckiest man alive
Grateful are paths crossed
Sometimes
You just know
Your in awe
Savor certain things more the others
They stand out undeniably
A sign
Gift from thee heavens
Beyond our expectations
Worth a second glance
Undeniable
Infatuation the stars aligned
Truly meant to be
Connection unmistakable friction
Hard to miss
Impossible not to feel
You wanna grab hold of
Holds like glue
A bond that can never be broken
Light years away
Feels like we're in the same room
The world needs more like you
Gleaming eyes paradise
A calming voice of reason
Not a bad bone in your body
A rare find
Warming heart sensitive soul
Better person
Similar circumstances experiences
No judgements we are equals
You understand me better then I even know myself
We relate to each other more then most ever will
I find true comfort a calmness
Just knowing your there
Artistic deep minded thinkers get along best
So it would seem love each other unconditionally
And I wouldn't want it any other way

Damning feeble attempts
Inner caves
Dwelling
Time to bury the entrance
In dirt

Trapped inside the
Checks and balances
Bouncing like a ball without air

Like the
Bad precipitations of
My inner sanctum

Flogging like a dead drum
Beating
Detoxing from the over
Stimulations

The roadblocks that
Imbedded
As the
Paper tigers stampeded
All over me

The vipers would soon sink
There teeth in
The closer I got to the light

A ledge would
Suddenly appear
Out of nowhere

Wouldn’t do me any favors
I’m a deep feeler always
In need of a reboot
A cleansing detoxification

Splitting hairs
Honing in
On what really mattered
Scratch and sniff
Petrified of being
Pulled outside my comfort zone
A summoning calling me to a cleaner
Way of living
Halting the
Relatable dilemmas
Omens like
Cultured wounds that my
Blemishes couldn’t hide
A casualty
Of someone else’s sinister games
No longer will I play ball
I’ve given
It all a whirl
With mixed results
Very few counter offers
Shined through like him
A drug that
I had to escape
You became my antidote
Breaking myself totally apart
You built me back from spare parts
Better then new  
I was constantly being hypnotized
By the lonely twilight
That was not the most suitable
Companion
My eyes started
Gazing upwards
Breezes slowly began to twirl
Of a teasing love
That spoke to me like nothing
Else ever had
Flowers soon blossomed
After my garden
Was finally tilled
Transitional years grabbed hold
Like a
Bull in a China shop
Everything was busted
Sensitive to the touch
Behind a reasonable doubt
That’s me
The fluctuations are now
Boxed up finally contained
I had to liquidate my assets
Into a new portfolio
Leave the baggage at the back door
And let my new partner shine brighter
Then I could

What I see
And hear in this world
Often doesn’t
Add up
I tend to
Interpret things on a off keel

Rapid fire
The words just come
Out of
A cannon

My words
Splash on a page
Like graffiti on
A wall
Interpret it how you may

I’m not a scholar
Far from
Book smart
I learned more in the trenches
The school of
Hard knocks

We each create
In our own
Way who am I
To judge

I’m going to continue
To write
The way I see fit
What makes me comfortable
Might not
Be for everyone else

But that’s fine
You don’t have to pay attention
Most of you are strangers
To each his own
Be you I’ll be me

Dead end
No validation
Hourglass hounded
Turned to boulders
The weight
Of my mistakes bogged me down
Paranoia only harped
Life took the best
Parts of me
And disintegrated them
Synthetic testimony
Not of mind
A thief swept
In caught red handed
Starting line
Not what I had hoped for
It was a tough pill to swallow
Hopefully the finish line
Will measure up
Live up to the billing
Apparently the great devine
Is awaiting my arrival
Bare bones
Cover me up in satin linens
Laying all
My cards on the table
I folded long ago
I’ve never had a poker face
But my joker mask hasn’t
Been hard to find when I wanna hide
Behind my disguise
Skipping rocks
All day
Longing for a easy breath
Beaten paths stingy
Far to many
Where’s my yellow brick road at
I want too flow
Freely like
The bluest seas
Dance in the whitest of sands
Fly in the highest of skies
Have the wind at my back
Moving me forward
To a much more appropriate place
And feel the gleaming light
Of the sun that’s eluded
Me as I stayed in bed  
Depressed most of my life
Predetermined or not
Life threw punches at me
And watched me struggle to
Regain my footing
As the heavy impacts knocked
Me flat on my face

Culling chatter
Un compromised
Dimming daylight
Sidelined passions
Juxtapositions
Wide eyed
Apples to oranges
My best form
Of communication
Is writing airing
Out my ***** laundry
And it
Comes so naturally
My formulas
Are unique in stature
Reaping the rewards
An inept understanding
To some
Birth of passage
A tedious task
Forecasting what may become
Certain views
When expressed
By a spiral of emotions
Can be unpredictable
A preview
Of what’s to come
Won’t always be followed by others
Instant gratification
Can’t come fast enough
A perfect posture
I’m far from
Illuminating ideas
Conceiving into form
The sweet aroma
Spreads like an inferno
A self indulgent
Trip inside the roller coasters
Of mind
They need to have
Those precise
Precious monumental
Gains to bloom
Wheels are churning
Curiosity
Is peaking it’s pleasing
Head through
Stanzas are slowly being burnt
Into mind like a fortress
And when I write
It may sound haywire  
But by stance will always
Remain the same right in two
Till I’m no longer in the drivers seat

Don’t depend  ON Possessions OR Position for YOUR Identity
GET your IDENTITY FROM CHRIST
For you ARE OF INFINITE WORTH TO HIM!!!

Chaotic syndromes
Unglued
My spiteful neurotic
Behaviors
Pretexts I never benefited from
Bullies on thee block
Reapers antagonized
Angels swarmed
And tried to protect
Protesting to no avail
It’s unreal
What you miss when
Your deep inside the flames
But when you finally
Claw your way out
And you escape
Certain spaces everything
Comes to light the forefront
Starts pacing around
The afterglow quickly shy’s away
And walks the other direction
Marked by a comatose
Frame of mind
Pull the plug
And let your feelings trample
You missed the mark not the first time
Balking at the fact
I knew I never fit in
Wandering along stumbling
Fumbled blueprints
It wasn’t my makers fault
The adults in the room
I point the finger at them
Rooted in more misdeeds
That I’ve lost count
Misread scriptures put the book down
Cavernous displays
Front and center
I should have been an after thought
As I plucked away the piranhas
One by one
Yet I became the black sheep anyway

Vacant room
Guardian angels
Gone

Lioness is preying
My watchful eye is piercing
Unlock this spell

Gate keeper
Keep her at bay
As cold thoughts glare

Obstacle course
Is challenging
Variety and grace
Finding your footing

Reveries like
Fireworks
That don’t feel as spectacular

What if I
Roamed this planet
Alone in my mind
Made all the rules

The pinholes
Light couldn’t penetrate
Yesterdays episodes drenched
Me in
There terrors

Lived for anyone
But me  
Today’s a little easier
To flow

Still that little nagging
Voice stirs
Up trouble in the shadows

Steadily I am
Dredging my shores
One day at a time

And can almost
Bring my ship safely back
To port

The static electricity
      Dulled as
The sounds deafened

A bouquet of flowers
     Once wilting
Thrives in the sun now
    
Compassionate positive emotions
     Over time
Became empowered
    A foothold my strong
          Tower

The shivering shades
   Slowly loosened there
             Grip

Cages that once ruffled
         My feathers
      Now my bird flys
          Free

A sensitive subject
    To the core
   No debating that
Manifesting his dreams all
   Rolled into one
Hoping to one day see
  The light of day
   A truer reality
To finally eradicate his tormenting                         BANDWIDTH

Peaking in and out
A trip inside
Your head
Isn’t always a pleasant one
Feels more like a permanent state
Sadness knows
No bounds
Doesn’t stop for anyone
Without command on a dime
It’s always there
Thee wheels are turning
Contemplating
The end of my run
Here on earth feels like it’s
Coming to a close
Sooner rather then later
You’ll never
Get what makes me sad
Thee blues came
Calling again
Heavy rains
Flooded my mind and heart
Just like before
I’m too tired to care
Blistered to thee core
And the gas tank is almost
On empty
I wanna wake up somewhere else
In a majestic place
I’ve never seen before
Dance with wildflowers
Run freely in green pastures
With thee lilies
Ride off into thee sunset
Once and for all
Have my name called
And watch the sunrise from thee heavens above
Like a cloud of ash spread on a seashore
**** evaporated into thin air
Now you’ve gone on your way
Be still and free broken man
You’ll no longer have too hurt
Rest peacefully and find comfort
In knowing that fact
Thee lord will set you free when
He’s good and ready

Iris awakened
Stopwatch reset
Stubborn
As the rocks I break
Hard to gage
I’m tired of the hurting
My toxicity
Finally filtered close
To a hundred percent
Pure as glass
Crystal clear
Like grains of sand
Fine tuned
Navigating through
The non turbulent skies
Teeter totter
Off kilt unbalanced
In view arriving on a level
Playing field
Somewhat new to me
I’ve found a certain balance
Holding court
Peal back
The film
Unwrap my bubble
Set me afire and
Let me breath on my own
Forever
And let my Relic resemble
The better parts
What ever hasn’t been
Seen or heard yet in the limelight