Vacant room
Guardian angels
Gone

Lioness is preying
My watchful eye is piercing
Unlock this spell

Gate keeper
Keep her at bay
As cold thoughts glare

Obstacle course
Is challenging
Variety and grace
Finding your footing

Reveries like
Fireworks
That don’t feel as spectacular

What if I
Roamed this planet
Alone in my mind
Made all the rules

The pinholes
Light couldn’t penetrate
Yesterdays episodes drenched
Me in
There terrors

Lived for anyone
But me  
Today’s a little easier
To flow

Still that little nagging
Voice stirs
Up trouble in the shadows

Steadily I am
Dredging my shores
One day at a time

And can almost
Bring my ship safely back
To port

Iris awakened
Stopwatch reset
Stubborn
As the rocks I break
Hard to gage
I’m tired of the hurting
My toxicity
Finally filtered close
To a hundred percent
Pure as glass
Crystal clear
Like grains of sand
Fine tuned
Navigating through
The non turbulent skies
Teeter totter
Off kilt unbalanced
In view arriving on a level
Playing field
Somewhat new to me
I’ve found a certain balance
Holding court
Peal back
The film
Unwrap my bubble
Set me afire and
Let me breath on my own
Forever
And let my Relic resemble
The better parts
What ever hasn’t been
Seen or heard yet in the limelight

Travesties ignited
Fractured as
Life hammered away
Like a sad song on repeat
Apologies like raindrops
They never stuck
Forgiving has always
Been one of my
Biggest obstacles
Maybe one day I can find it in myself
Like the decompressing
Headaches
I needed an outlet
Couldn’t see it till now
Reliving the same ole stories
How the heck
Can you shake such a rut
As the insanity set in
He saw
The best in me despite my flaws
Yet I continued
To label myself a fraud
Life hadn’t taught
Me any better
Betrayals like the wounds
That never go away
And I’ll always live with
The shame that wore
Me like a wholly sweater
But it doesn’t have to define
My whole story
I’m never proud
Admitting the truths
That should never be murmured
Outside these walls
Numbing myself never accomplished
Much in life
Life burnt through me
Like a pack of smokes
I finally put down for good
As the dim light came to daylight
I had an epiphany get out of your own
Way and start living
Or get busy dying a little faster

Pale complexion
Steps are fumbled
I pity the overwhelmed

Gorilla warfare
Panic attacks
Set in like concrete

Shell shocked
Out of body and mind
A Visionary

Quite the contrary
Living with one eye open
Asleep at the wheel

Dwindling anthems
Like walking
The blind to sight

I picked up
A book
I’ve read it a thousand times before

Non appealing
Yet I opened it anyway
Curiosity killed the cat

The ink ran down
The pages like
Spilling blood

Pictures tarnished
In plain sight
Like I’d seen this all before  

Life flashed before
My very eyes
Not before the fixating trance invited

Me in one last time
Straight into the
Eye of the storm

Decades have
Flown by
Where’s thee proof
Hindsight’s twenty twenty
Help me escape
Ashamed I couldn’t
Have done better
Defeated nothing new
Body traced
Where I lay
If only these walls could talk
Cold bones
False hope
As the lights gone dim
All secrets come to thee surface
Hearts in the flames
One eyes open
Thee others shut
Divided in half
Right down thee middle
Spiritual warfare begins
Spiraling tailwinds
Evil versus good
No neutral ground
As a tug of war ensues
Right and wrong
I’ve always known thee difference
Yet here I am
Maybe the part of me
That stopped caring long ago
Is too blame
For all this
But I point thee finger at others
Always will
This is what they helped create
Caving in
Not knowing which way to turn
A life not lived
Leaves one feeling empty
An impossible mind
Too decipher
Running ramped all over my soul

Pop the cork
And unleash
All your sorrows

Housed in plexiglass

Knee deep
In the times
That evaded me

Border line insane
Not centered
You reap what you sow

I’d rather be more grounded  

No amount
Of love here
Could seal up my seeping wounds

The glowing embers
Oh how
I wish I cloud erase them

Digging up dirt
Diving in head first pilling
Up on top of me

As I wish upon a star

Am I all out of wishes
Maybe one day
The agony will dissipate

Every which way I look
Starving for
Something greater then me

When will my shoes
Finally fit properly
Always searching

For a simpler alternative
To my mind
Of madness  

It’s amazing what you
Can get used too
A rugged complexion

That’s hard to understand
Resembling anything
That I’ve been unable

To translate into something readable

Succumb
Too the notions
Up for interpretation
The wheels that
Went flat yet kept on going
Proceed
With caution
Sightseers all aboard
In unlimited numbers
They flocked in droves
Vocalizations hammered
They often
Tasked me in there dwellings
And hindered my ways
Intersecting avenues
Should I have
Stand pact put
My foot down and just drove away
Instead I caved and parked
Running
Red lights
Like a bad habit
I couldn’t shake free
From
Along with the falling trees
That fell
And blocked my paths
Preventing me from going forward
Dissection by
Default
My unwavering
Imagination
In need of some fine tuning
The boulevards
That threw me in there wake
Riding in the carpool
Lane was never lonely enough
Because my stagecoach
Was always overflowing with
Hitchhikers that wouldn’t
Just take another train

Impoverished
Wind chimes
Clacking
Countless endeavors
No longer intruding
Sweet surrender embraces
Me in it’s fold
Thoughts no longer
On a loop
A one track mind cleansed
Let a precise gentle energy
Find me a peaceful
Place to rest my head
A quiet orchard
As stars gaze in the background
Let my weary body recharge
As the clocks
Continuously tick to a different
Frequency
On off switch is fixed
As the hand
That’s been rocking my
Cradle is at ease
Far from physically exhausted
Compliment me in some
Priceless ZEN
The dense
Quiet I’ve been searching
For as my head
Hits the fluffy pillow
Mentally it’s been exhausting
Running a marathon at full sprint
Taken aback by the faint syllables
That sing me lullabies to sleep
And this is just the beginning

My ruptured fantasy
Combustible commotion
Adversary’s are plentiful

Unlimited protection
The enemy
Is out to severe me

Your majesty
I’ve seen your
Handy work first hand

Decaying fossils
Put my puzzle
Back together in some working order

Give me shelter
From
The exertion that ******

Overreaching
Quick to react
The sum of all parts

Is magnetic

Off the charts
Feeling a bit off
My aim must have led me astray

Win lose or draw
Life can really
Do a number on a soul

Tally up the score
And you come up empty

Guidance system
Malfunctions again
A seismic shock

Sends you spiraling
Chain reactions only counter act  
Your balance

One rarely recovers
From certain circumstances in life
Sometimes we don’t

Realize what we have
Until it’s gone forever
Better left untouched

Overrun with grief
The hardest goodbyes
Will shake you

To thee core

Majesty
Grant me complete asylum
From the
Antagonistic events of this realm

Unreeling paradise
Swallowed up
Basking  
In shallow waters

A slave to
The wrong spaces
What I could never acquire

A truce between us

Very unrealistic
A frame
Without a picture empty

The sirens
Like hurricanes
They ignited

My vanity
That simply
Didn’t function well

What exactly was I seeing

I’d rather not recall
My insecurities
Got the best of me

Picked at me separated
Like a fiddle
A better standard

Way of life was purely a lie

Viewpoints quickly slid
Interpretations differed
Never were a true match

What I conceived
In my thoughts
Seemed unattainable

Never saw the light of the sun
Dangling
Hopes and dreams

In front of my face
Like a bribe
Only to watch them fizzle

Below in my wishing well

I felt more like a marionette  
Trapped in the shadows
That wouldn’t

Take a break let up

Insecure for a lifetime
Reeling
Scared to be

Wishing for a memory
That I could somehow hold dear

Crossing over
Erase the
Undeniable hurting

The story I fumble through
Constantly gazing
Through an empty stare

Satellites hovering
Waiting to be
Discovered

Passing by
In my rearview
For only a moment

If only I noticed
You more before
I threw away

The greatest gift I was ever handed
Slight of hand
Mischievous glare

You had me
The moment are eyes locked up
Your my harshest mistake

Yet my greatest joy
A one way ticket to jubilee
Biggest regret by far

Losing
The one angel
Worth waking up too

I tumbled into a landslide
After you went away
When that truck drove out
Of the driveway

I fell to knees
Knowing **** well
I’d never truly

Recover myself to any degree

There is never
Enough heat
To revive me from the cold

Shivers that run ramped on
My dreaded soul
Without you

I feel such nothingness
As the emptiness twinges
The echos howl in pain

Culling chatter
Un~compromised
Dimming daylight  

Sidelined passions
Juxtapositions
Wide eyed

Apples to oranges

My best form
Of communication

Is writing

Airing out my *****
Laundry
And it comes

So naturally

My formulas are
Unique in stature
Reaping the rewards

An inept understanding

To some

Birth of passage
A tedious task
Forecasting what may become

Certain views
When expressed
By a spiral of emotions

Can be unpredictable

A preview
Of what’s to come
Won’t always be followed by others

Instant gratification

Can’t come fast enough
A perfect posture

I’m far from

Illuminating ideas
Conceiving into form

The sweet aroma

Spreads like an inferno
A self indulgent
Trip inside the roller coasters

Of mind

They need to have
Those precise
Precious monumental gains

To bloom

Wheels are churning
Curiosity is peaking

It’s pleasing head through

Stanzas are slowly being burnt
Into mind
Like a fortress

And when I write

It may sound haywire  
But by stance will always
Remain the same

Right in two  

Till I’m no longer in the drivers seat

Displeasing backdrops
Undercover agent
No need to spell it out
Any further
Accidental persona stolen
Mistaken identity
Expunged
Rewritten not quite
Finished
Yet to be determined
In a fresher aura
Practicing a new set
Of principles
Disenchanting chatter
Like the imitations
They do more harm then good
Faces and places
Like mugshots freeze frames
I never wanna stand
In line for again
Scarce comforting flipped
On its head
Rendered defenseless
Against the other side
A new hope has risen
To astounding heights
Hope there all satisfied by now
Messiah grant me
The serenity to accept the
Here and now be more present
And crush the past like a can
My galaxy never quite
Glowed in the dark
Now it’s dipped in fluorescent lights
And my black hole
Well it ****** me up in its tailwind
I’ve realized it was all part of the process
Just a rough draft in waiting

Embracive swells
Seismic shift
Tables flipped over

Jokers wild
*******
Had A ace up my sleeve

I wagered everything
To beat him
Antes slid to my side
Of the table

No longer does he
Hold all the cards

Removing sad layers
Brick by brick
**** it’s a chore

My enclosure becomes
Less adhesive
More adaptable

Locomotive on
Autopilot
Barreling through my head
Where it will stop

TBD

Park bench
Passerby’s could they
See me siting
Underneath my rooted tree

Life held me
Down like cinder blocks
An ally
To my foe

Knotted thoughts
That plied up
In the corner
Needed untying

The invasive thoughts
No longer trigger
My bad impulses that led

To enormous
Deflating challenges
Constant wars within

Dull existence
Tilting axis
Gravity’s lumpy
Lost in the backroads

Off a beaten path

Protect the nest
Don’t flock
To the fatal tones

The rooster mustn’t reign

Like a moth
To a flame
A lantern without a spark

My dark forest held me

Picking myself
Up of the pavement
Trying to avoid my

Chalk outline permanently

Short fuse
As my time bomb
Was ticking down to it’s last seconds

Absolute explosion guaranteed

Logy as I was
Repercussions never mattered
Up to that point

I just sat and pondered

If this had to be my fate
Why not just change
For the betterment of MYSELF

Intersections
Misguided directions
My hope was high jacked

Right from underneath me

Pentagrams
In the night
Hiding my deepest sorrows

Leave and don’t
Take me with you
Swallowed whole

By lies
And a weak lack
Of will  

To fight for change
Saturated in
Bad spirits haunted

By the days prior
Stuck in a school of
Haunting evil trolls

Bouncing off the walls
Frothing at the mouth
To be transformed

One eye open
While the others sealed shut
I felt like

Two souls trapped in one
How could this be
God and the devil

Head to head in a face off

Pulling me
In different directions
Caught in the crossfire

Glad thee right team won

Replacing bad habits
Took me to
The point of no return

Impossible to
Fathom how far
I’ve actually come

Stuck in neutral

I had to put the car in drive
And not look back
As often as I had before

Separating one from the other
Learning to function
Somewhat properly

Surviving me became the
Ultimate chore
I had to learn life’s lessons

The hard way

And it truly helps
Me to appreciate the air
I still breath today

Red ambers
White as a ghost
Shrewd feelings aside
I assure you
What I can not
Take with me is not
Of importance
My soul doesn’t
Crave the materialistic
Flaunting possessions
Have they ever positioned
Me for a better seat
At his table
Scope
Of the matter is
There’s a bigger picture at hand
Catch phrases twenty twenty
Non refundable
Suppressed grey areas
In need of renovation
Serendipity
Slowly sprinkled it’s way
Into my psyche
Like rolling tides
Slowly
Hashing me out
Down to the last minute fiber
As the toxins exfoliated
My pendulum swings
At a more even tempo
Guided by a vitality that
Leaves me feeling as
Though when the levee breaks
I’ll be just fine in the end