Asunder
Birds of prey
Hard headed
Gravity
Incomplete story
In need of my
Sweet salvation
I can’t walk
On water
Wishful thinking
Out loud
Ringing the bell
Twelve rounds are up
Spiraling out
Of control
My crutch can’t withstand
The pressure
Like a stick of dynamite
Exploding daily
Fountain of youth
I’ll pass
I’d never wanna relive
All the unbearable moments here
I’ll never drink from the cup
Because I’ve seen more
Then enough of all this
So called life
For a thousand lifetimes in vain
Dead weight free falling
Into flames
Like a bomb
Falling from the sky
Catastrophic damage up next
Would you shield me from
Thee explosion
Before I fall  
To my demise  
Parachute open up your
Door to me eternally yours
I will be forever in your debt

Flexing patterns
Slight of hand
Flattering inspiration
Fostering me
In its warmth
Soft whispers
Like a breathable oxygen
Prima ballerina
Please grace
Me with your soft sweet movements
In limbo I’ve been
Four leaf clovers
Splitting lucks running on fumes
Army of me
Loosen up your
Bark
I’m just a man
Never claimed to be a king
Creaking floors shout
Gazing walls stare
Don’T shine like silver
Castles
Of sand crumble
A devoted
Loneliness
Just had to veer
It’s ugly head in
Fragments far to relevant
Excavated as the days go
Set by step
Word by word
Masquerading in every detail
To the finest degree
Executioner
Of life latched onto my
Footsteps and wouldn’t unite me

Magnetic
A ugly grin
Not of my canvas
Superman
To my kryptonite
If there’s no tomorrow
Life’s been
A hard pill
To swallow
After all I’m only human
Flesh and bone
Eventually ashes in a box
I’ve felt sick
But that doesn’t even begin to tell
The full story
Cringing in agony
Imaging an alternative universe
More times then not
Overwhelmed
Handicapped by my own mind
I’ve gone head
Too head with thee worst
This so called place has to offer
Thee violent
Mood swings can
Be so brutal
The highest of highs
Quickly become thee opposite
Where’s the middle ground at
A catatonic state leads to
Def con five moments
Straight down the rabbit hole
You begin to fall
Buckle up
Making life hard to navigate
It’s not right by any means of thee
Imagination

Left with what
You have
Far behind thee rest
Primeval locations
Stolen moments
Harder to
Fine what’s right
When it’s looking you
Right in thee face
Carnivals lost cites
Chaos to follow
A million shattered dreams
Rolled into one
Heads in thee clouds
Hearts on a table
The colors
Of life have varied
In and out of consciousness
Searching repeatedly
For a warmth that
Could never outrun me
And outlast all eternity
Contagious flesh
I’m far from prefect
Sins a plenty
I’ve had my fair share
They may be forgiven
Yet I’m always second guessing
Following him
There’s a heavy price to pay
But it’s well worth it
Fruit for thee soul
A reckoning
Words in a book guide
Me now
Like flying kites on a sunny day
That feeling never gets old

SHARE YOUR FAITH
When you give God thanks for what He's done, especially in the middle of chaos, it's not just gratitude
—it's a declaration of faith.

POETRY IS LANGUAGE AT IT’S MOST DISTILLED MOST POWERFUL… AMEN 🙏 ID BE ABSOLUTELY INSANE WITHOUT MY WRITING!!! AND I FEEL LIKE MY VOICE IS FINALLY BEING HEARD PROPERLY… I APPRECIATE THEE MANY TALENTED FOLK OUT THERE EXPRESSING THERE TRUEST SELFS IN THERE POETRY… CHEERS 🍻

IN TODAY'S RUSH WE ALL THINK TOO MUCH, SEEK TOO MUCH, WANT TOO MUCH,
AND FORGET ABOUT THE JOY OF JUST BEING
-ECKHART TOLLE

I wear my
Emotions on my sleeve
Like a straight jacket
The quietest
Person in the room
Yet he writes
With the LOUDEST VOICE
If you knew me
By person
I’m a man of few WORDS
BUT MY POETRY SPEAKS
VOLUMES
MY EMOTIONS ARE THE RAW AND
HONEST TRUTHS
OF A LONELY MAN TRYING TO
FIND HIS WAY TO GREENER PASTURES

Winding rivers
I bathe in
Stirring
False narratives
Bleed the same
Slowly
Excavating my soul
Pulling levers hoping
One should open
Elevators up to the top floor
Eventually it all crashes down
Shiny diamonds
Barricading me in there awe
Rusty copper Pennie’s
That’s more like it
Thunder and lightning
I wanna see
My skies align
Rolling hills
No end insight
Breach of contract
You and I
Never truly aligned
Like fire and ice canceling
Each other out
Never a perfect match
Hyperventilating telepathic waves
The stewing ghosts
In my closet  
Wish they knew
Like I do
How I hurt like hell
Confusing illusions daylight
To my wallowing nights  
Desperately seeking
A muse too take the lid off
Some kind of
Joyfulness to put me in it’s vise grip  
An antidote for the agony
To go away for a while
The outer spaces
Of my mind or something like paradise
Oh how I long for them

SELF-EXPRESSION
Cosmic ebb and flows
Missed the mark
Light years away
Thirsty for
My eternal sunshine
Foreshadowing hunger
In the background
The cold sheets
I lay in
The bad neighborhood
Between my ears
Like a riddle
I am
Trapped inside a maze
One foot in front
Of thee other
Oh how that would be so swell
Evil auras
Spells that were cast
I always saw
Them coming
They sent chills up my spine
Guess I couldn’t change
Direction fast enough
To get out of there way
Can you all
See me from
The mountain top
Landslides
Come in all forms
I see the pain
In which I write with
The tidal waves
That rule
The insanity of my blues
Are they truly all my fault
I rarely
Like company that I can tolerate
Let that of my own
It would be nice to be heard
Recognized by someone other
Than me
Felt adored once in while
Because I show myself
Very little love if any praise
I’ve always fallen
Flat felt like a caged animal
My one true voice
As unpleasant as it often is
Brings me a little hope and joy
An escape for a few moments
A way outta my head
Poetry my one and only therapy

Haley’s comets
Approaching separating
Matters of fact
Wolfs are howling
A wretched world
That having it’s way with my soul
Looking for someone
To take the keys and drive
Looking for
A purpose outside my wasteland
Too turn the pages forward
For the backstage
Blues to leave my stage
My paper lanterns are
Burning to ashes
Wasting away
In my self absorbed addictions
Inexplicable behaviors
Like a heckler that
Won’t stop talking
Wears me like a
A mask I can’t remove
The demons
In each bottle rattle my cage
After each hit I take
Can’t shake
The stench that permeates
It’s like the acid tears I cry
I see the decaying breath
I breathe counting
Down to the seconds
When the coffin will call
And I will answer
All consuming overwhelming me
Awaiting a revival
For my peaceful recital to start
Dancing in my shadows

BILLBOARD
Fraying
Paper heart cuts
A penny for my thoughts
The sinking feelings
In the back of my head
Swell
Has the quicksand won
Falling short
The hourglass has fallen
Fly on the wall
Shocked
Talking to god
Black butterfly sputters
Stuck in a cocoon
Trying to disguise
The hurting
Defuse the situation
At all cost
Mourning
When the sun
Won’t rise on your street
Advertisements cold and wretched
Far from fake news
From shore to shore
It continues to print tirelessly
Realistically
What exactly
Am I looking at
Head in my hands
All this blasphemy
Nazareth
Paint a prettier scenery
Produce much better results
Someone call a hearse
Inner circle
Who’s pulling the strings
Holy wars
I’m all ears
Dark ballads
Never missed
There mark
They mocked and prodded
Any chance they got
No vacancy sign
Guess it wasn’t bright enough to see
Clearly
Yet you all lived
In my head rent free
Like a bad neighborhood since birth
And I want what I’m owed
Plus back pay
A billboard that should be
Burned to scrap donated elsewhere
Idyll as I am
I’ll take a one way ticket to a new euphoria

SCINTILLATING SKIES
Curator expired
Expunged realm
Ominous canvas
Outlined in the sands
Washed out at tide
The slates wiped clean
Gate keeper
Catcher of dreams
Take aim at me
My acid rain
Showers halted
Exchanged for infinite baths
With you
When the truest hurts
No longer need comforting
And I’m finally cured  
Entirely freed of all this
Breaths of fresh air
Come easy
Finally embraced at long last
Tiny dancers on my shoulders
Singing in hymns
Telling me it’s finally
Okay to roam amongst thee
Maybe it’s
Confession time I’m long overdue
Time to lay it all  
Out there for him to see
As if he already hasn’t
My heaviest burdens
At the feet of the lord
For him to see and hear
Loud and clearly  
One day my
Appeal may be heard
And I shall be granted my freedom
To have all I need
Certainly none of this
In pure abundance
What a moment
Then maybe you’ll be able
See the clarity in my eyes
Feel my heart beat steadily
And then just then
I’ll be able to take off my black robe
That’s held me in it’s wrath
All my life
Scintillating skies no longer elude
They uplift and whisk away my soul
Finally knowing I’m whole again home

SELF-EXPRESSION
Cosmic ebb and flows
Missed the mark
Light years away
Thirsty for
My eternal sunshine
Foreshadowing hunger
In the background
The cold sheets
I lay in
The bad neighborhood
Between my ears
Like a riddle
I am
Trapped inside a maze
One foot in front
Of thee other
Oh how that would be so swell
Evil auras
Spells that were cast
I always saw
Them coming
They sent chills up my spine
Guess I couldn’t change
Direction fast enough
To get out of there way
Can you all
See me from
The mountain top
Landslides
Come in all forms
I see the pain
In which I write with
The tidal waves
That rule
The insanity of my blues
Are they truly all my fault
I rarely
Like company that I can tolerate
Let that of my own
It would be nice to be heard
Recognized by someone other
Than me
Felt adored once in while
Because I show myself
Very little love if any praise
I’ve always fallen
Flat felt like a caged animal
My one true voice
As unpleasant as it often is
Brings me a little hope and joy
An escape for a few moments
A way outta my head
Poetry my one and only therapy

SOMETHING LIKE A REVERIE
Volumes
That never shut off
Breathing in
Thee light and dark
Decipher fact from fiction
If you can
Apparitions
Far from a fairytale
Few and far
Shadows and shift shapers
Rolling winds
Ordinary wouldn’t
That be something
Unrelenting
Happy thoughts
Come and go
I wish they’d stay
A little bit longer
How can one
Be alive
Yet deep inside feel so
Dead to a world
He never belonged in
Often things can
Appear to good to be true
So never fall for thee lies
They can be misleading
And spread like wildfires
Why can’t I just stay here a
Little bit longer in this
Make believe place
My reverie dream state
Close the door and lock it up tight
Behind me
When I close my eyes
Things are suppose to be quiet
If only that were thee case
For someone like me
Let these elixirs fill me up
Help medicate my twisted thoughts
And erase thee melancholy
That continually eats
Away at my soul
Make me believe
Maybe for a moment
That it’s okay feeling thee way I do

Back porch blues
I’m seeing ghosts
Skimming through
The pages
Burning bridges
Searching
For glory in my hell
Unaccompanied
Guilty innocence
What a pity
Had it all stripped just like that  
Orphaned
That look in your
Eyes that echos in pain
The sad little
Boy who cried
Wolf and no one came
Running to save him
How could his parents
Be so cruel
Abandon him in the direst
Of moments
That would shape the sands
Of time
What would the future hold
Wish I would have never known
The answers to that
Now a man struggling
With what ifs
All I wanted was to be a boy
And enjoy my childhood
Wondering where all the time went
Wasting away
In the distant cries  
Of a youth that took me under with it

Dancing willows
Spotless movements
Never my own
Monumental gains
Unachieved
Overcome
With attrition
Last call
Use me up
And just let me go
Life’s guilty pleasures
I never found comfort in
Unlit avenues
The face of
A thousands heartaches
The stillness
Painted me like a sad scenery
As everything
Else moved about  
A grounded flight sat and wondered
Flawed character
My nostalgia ran
It’s course
The sentiments only
Grew dimmer
As time stood still against me
I became frozen
I’d gladly
Trade a pound
Of my own flesh
For an ounce of ecstasy
My darkest days here
For a slice of the pie
In the sky
Self aware of just how
Baldy and broken I’ve always been
Self acceptance the one thing
I could never truly deliver for myself

ONLY YOU
Who am I
Without you
Broken no longer
I give it all to you
The road to heaven awaits
Take the wheel and stear
Rainbow in
Thee dark
Guiding light
My anchor in stormy seas
Still here today
Because of your love for me
Eternally grateful
Humbled daily
My everything
High and mighty
In you all things
Are possible I’m not worthy
Your mercy and grace
Fills my cup
Have held me together
Throughout the years
Trials and tribulations have
Come and gone
The one constant is you
By my side
You hold me together
Save a seat
For me at home
Keep me in your heart
Know that I’m not perfect
Your protection shields
From the hate and negativity
That fills my world
Frees me from my sins
Blessings abundant
Your water gives me life
Your blood flows through my veins
Without you I’m nothing
With you all things become a virtue

RITUAL
Belle of the ball
Turns to tar
Never too reconvene
Egregious serpent
Here furthermore  
Target someone else
Off to never land
Limbs and debris
Six feet of gravel
Unwritten tablet
Dejected as I am
Whistling winds
Drain my arteries
Wishful thinking
I got caught by a robber
Looking inside my crystal ball
When you
Get sadder
And stuff it all down
It only stiffens to a board
That much easier to translate
Then comes back
And blindsides you out of nowhere
Provoking
The none ****** insanity
Only rubs salt in thee wounds
Makes me that much more uneasy
The rituals that
Run wild with time
Take me in there grasp
Voodoo dolls
Constantly poking and prodding
Theoretically applied in my skin
Gently
The sun is burning
In my dead sky’s
Solemnly heard
My moon is howling in the mist
Keep the wolves at bay
Get me the hell outta here  
I really don’t want
To outlive everyone else
I would rather everyone else outlive Poor ole me
That’s a simple known fact of mine
And just let me get to home base first
Let these rituals be the sacrifice
Of someone else not my own

Scandalous beauty
Rotting in view
Why was I always the
Sacrificial lamb
I should have
Taken an oath
To draw myself closer
To you sooner
Instead I allowed
The evil to wear me like
A sad painting
Soaking up my sanity inch by inch
Consuming me
Entirely to often
All my praises
Belong to you from here on out
What happened before
Shouldn’t matter
Yet it still displaces my being
Ball and chain
Breaking rocks falling face first
I never had a say
As I was blindsided
By a life I would have written
Differently and had
It been more decent  
Terrorized by
Meaningless tyrants
Like a sick addiction
It became maddening
Forgiveness
Is a skill
I’ve never quite mastered
And probably never will
My tarnished
Image split me in two
Mirroring a hologram
Left to pick up the pieces
Has never reflected well
In my direction
As I’ve stared it all in the face
The mirrors
That have broken me apart
Sadly to this day
Are the ones I hate the most

EYE IN THE SKY
Shape of
My heart
Tug of war
Torn to pieces no longer
I’ve waited here
For you
Unspoken
All things are possible
In what I can’t see
With my own two hazel eyes
Stand up fight thee
Good fight
Survival of the
Fittest  
No time for wasting away
Seeing is
Believing
One spark
Changed it all
Life finally begins
Better late then
Never
I’d almost given
Up on myself
A life I thought
I could never have
For myself
Came to be
Landed in my lap somehow
Closed my eyes
Took a leap of faith
Learned to fly
And trusted in something I’ll
Never fully understand
Took a leap of faith
And learned to live again
Redemption never
Tasted so sweet
Full speed ahead
Cup overflowing
No turning back around
Thee past is dead
Gone without a second thought
Or care for that matter
Living in the here and now
Never felt so satisfying
Alive finally free to be
Who I truly am

Shadow games
How it never went
Disowned
The Devil was out to
Get me
My sweet surrender
That may or may not
Show it’s face
Couldn’t come fast enough
I’d have to learn
Things the hard way
If you open up
Pandora’s box
Eventually there will be
A chain reaction of events
Running mach five
With my hair on fire
Trying to fill
The voids
In search
Of a friend a quick fix
And one sip
From the chalice
And I was hooked
As the poison turned me upside down
Complete control was granted  
The repercussions would become
An overkill of sorts
Eventually do a number on
Me next place I’d hit
Is rock bottom
The cold lonely
Nights behind the bottles
Amounted to nothing
The emptier I became
Looking to fill the shelf’s
In need of some real company
As I numbed myself
To no avail
Rejections the absence
Of true love
Filled my heart with hatered
How could I ever truly
Love another
When I hated myself with a passion
I just wanted to blanket
Myself and numb out a world
That didn’t feel right
And to top it off
How badly I was bleeding inside
Really made hurting that much worse
Harder to even breathe
With no end in sight

Dissolving shadows
A faceless man
Stoic I am not
Wounded
Crimson tides
The heavy whispers
Raised
In the dimmest of corners
Obscene occurrences
Plowed me over
The stinging
Bitterness only added fuel to the fire
Sweet and sour
Far to much deception
I wanna
Travel to a place
Where nothing stands in my way
Endless pain
My heartache has
Me defeated
Has me waving
My white flag
Will the wings from
Above grab hold of my broken wings
Before the sky falls in on me
And let’s fly away forever
Fall asleep peacefully
Oxygen
Swallow me whole
Till there’s no more
Air to breathe
Holy water bathe
Me in your divine waters of purity
Saturate me in anonymity
Tell I’m free and clear
Of this place for all eternity
All brand new in a clean slate in heaven

Stained glass
Hearts on fire
Adaptability
Out of reach
If only
My lonely captivity wouldn’t
Have enslaved me
Eviction notice
Where’s my nirvana
Spinning off axis
Chutes and ladders  
Where’s my
Off ramp
My unappealing entity
I’m tangled in it
Shattered hope
Lost somewhere in the sky
Black and gray never conformed to
Grave robber
The villain to my hero
A deity
Fast roping me to safety
The one who knows
And sees all
Please just let me go
Caving in under the pressure
I’m undesirable
Please abort this mission
And move on to the next one
Orphaned caterpillar
Never blossomed into a butterfly
Why did you give
Me life
To just let it be wasted
Away without merit  
On other people’s careless betrayals
Impersonating someone else
Became a sick game
There was
No regard for my emotional stability
My imperfections became
A muse
For my unsettling nerves

Smug haymakers
Paint the skies red
You could cut the tension
Like a hot knife through flesh
The demise
That’s long overdue
***** little
Whispers tattered
And beaten down
Life then death
Tomorrow everything
Becomes extinct
Is this all
Pretend or just
A bad dream we can’t wake from  Point of no return
No concern
For the ultimate consequences
Hatred comes
In all shapes and sizes
In plain sight
Clear as the end days that are coming Remedies without
A real cure
The devils in the tinniest details
Hear the roar
Of the mighty beast
As the carnage takes hold
Along with the heathens
Who walk in line
Who or what
Is going to save
Us from ourselves
The propaganda that’s been
Spread for generations
The lying and brainwashing
Straight to there faces
How can a good majority
Be so gullible
Spilled like the bloodshed of the Innocent
Plenty of chaos to follow
This world Is staring death
In the face
A sad judgement day for most
Rotting in hell
But we’ve already seen it all
Here for decades
So most here probably could care less
Isn’t there a better alternative
Fear the reaper
Armageddon will eventually show its face
When the earth swallows
Humanity whole
All that’s left resembles
Smoke clouds a haze of infernos
Ashes to ashes dust to dust
Hell on earth then oblivion
The purest evil that lures
A unavoidable chaos
All the bad apples that didn’t
Fall far from the tree
And the armies of lunacy
How dare them all here’s to thee end

Beyond deceiving
Better off
Forgotten
Untold fortunes
Explosive circumstances
Unfairly treated
I’ve seen
It all
On a rusty platter
Flashes in the pan
Like fireworks
They lack any true humor
I relive the
Slight hesitation
That ringing in my ear
The daylight
I’ll never redeem
What a consolation prize
The darkness became
Too afraid to
Go outside
Even open the front door
So I just hid
A cruelty
Far to often seen
Yet for some reason
Never seems to conclude
They said
Jump and you
Said how high
Clueless depictions
Wound up
Tightly and spring loaded
Then they went boom
Absolute clarity
Absorbing
All the blows
Bullies and passer byes
They did me no favors
Stitch me up nice and clean
And throw them outta
My playground
Contagious swells
Swept across
My oceans my boats continually sank
To thee bottoms of thee abyss
Prairies like wildfires
The paragraphs
Sketched deeply
In my being
Flowers hovering over my memories
Have fallen on
My grave already
Get me off this merry go round now
I’ve been around these circles
Long enough

THEN YOU CAME
Time we can’t
Get back
All we have is today
This very moment
Nothing less
Let’s make thee most of it
So lost before
Empty dirt roads
Consumed me
I was looking for
A wholesome highway
A light at the end of thee tunnel
Out of the darkness  
I walked alone
For a very longtime
Guarded my heart
Kept my head down
Had no interest
In finding a partner
Or love for that matter
I hid myself
Because I never
Felt good enough
For anyone else
Let alone myself
I’ve had
To make adjustments
Step out of
My comfort zone
And that’s not always easy
Wether I
Deserved you or not
I’m eternally grateful
To have you
It all happened for a reason
Then you came
And now you’ve
Become thee
Best parts of me
Worth seeing
The lord works
In mysterious ways
An Angel appears
When you least expect it
Out of nowhere
You changed my life
Good things come
To those who wait
It was a miracle finally
And I never saw it coming
Like a flower in bloom
I had no expectations
Just a hope of sorts
You were different
Sweet to thee core
Took the time
To get to know
The real me no judgments
A beating heart like no other
Three years later
Through thick and thin
It’s a lot of work
And here we are
But for thee first time
Feels worth it to me
Feels like a dream
Worth waking up too
The lord
He must have known
What he was doing
All along
Bringing us together
Many wrong turns before this
Finally I made thee right one
Then came you

UTOPIA  
You take thee
Dullness away
A sparkle
Like no other
Your my
Light at thee end
Of the tunnel
How could this be
All because of your
Unconditional  love for me
Happier days
Lights shining brightly
Nights alone gone evaporated
Heartache subsiding
A gift sent
From thee heavens above
I couldn’t ask for anything more
Am I truly deserving
Of such fulfillment
Maybe so
Thee stars aligned
Just right
Dreams becoming a reality
Minds becoming clearer
Heart is filled with joy
Pinch me I must be dreaming
Don’t ever let me wake up
A shooting star appeared
Right place
Right time
I wished upon
Suddenly came to fruition
I’m blessed to have you by my side
Wouldn’t want it any other way
From thee bottom of my heart
I’ll love you tell my very last breath
You can always count on me
I’ll never leave your side
Thanks for always believing in me
Being there when no else was
Because of you
I’ve learned too live again truly

Faint sun burns
In the dark
Break down this fortress
Detached from
Reality
Growing impatient
Alter the mistakes
A purpose for pain
When sentiments align
And the static subsides
Suddenly
All the commotion
Stops
To the right
Soul a connection
Undoubtedly uncanny
It’s a rare feat
To cross
Paths with someone
Who sees life like you do
Almost or to good to be true
One in million
A almost exact wavelength collides
An explosion of sorts
Who would have thought
And for a moment
It all makes sense
Why everyone else is clueless
Because they’ve never been
Where we have
And probably never will
If we shut down
Well there’s a **** good reason
Behind it
To go rouge
So leave it alone
The conversations feel effortless
What a relief
One in the same
And the deep feelings are mutual
Go summon
All thee angles
And tell them we are ready
Why not wait tell tomorrow
Today’s a good a day as any

RELINQUISH
Holy water
Protection from me
Everlasting sunlight
A coat of armor
Thee afterlife
A place of peace
Safe from harm
When the dust
Finally settles
Emerging
From the carnage
My mind
Is a complex machine
And may never go
Completely quiet
But one day
I shall flourish
Without you in complete control
I will no longer be
The fuel on your fire
A match you can just
pick up
A constant victim
Your prisoner no longer
Enough already
It’s been long enough
Scaling back
Turning the channel
Your yesterday’s news
You will no longer
Wrap your arms around
Me like chains I couldn’t
Break free from
I’m putting my sword
Down I don’t wanna
Fight you another day
Here’s to a bittersweet farewell
Goodbye my enemy
Forever so long
I’m surrendering
To a different idea point of view
I’m relinquishing your
Very existence
Dropping the same ole sad songs
And preparing
For my moment of solstice
Along with
A multitude of comforting peaceful
Moments
Deafening blues and gray skies
No longer relevant
I can finally hear clearly
See my light at the end of the tunnel

Pale in comparison
Raven to my dove
Pins and needles
Interluding invaders
Like a sponge
Where’s my
Pitter patter the silence
I wanna drown in it
Salivating resemblance
Tears in my hands
Am I losing my faith
Thee ability to move on
Unhinged the kettles turning black
Not in Unison
Trivial pursuit an endless cycle
Of melancholy
A Captivity
My point of view
Has held me in
Unsteady hand cinder blocks
Have me sinking
I have never been light of foot
Walking on egg shells
Trust is gone
I left it down at the seashore
My walls went up long ago
Swan song
Sing louder help me
Float head up abound in lightness
And let the dim dark tones
Flutter on there own time

I’m eternally thankful to have found this WEBSITE!!! WITH SUCH TALENTED FOLK… THANKS TO ALL WHO READ MY POEMS… AND THE FEEDBACK IS AWESOME!!! 👏 FINALLY I FEEL LIKE IM BEING HEARD PROPERLY… GOD BLESS YOU ALL GODSPEED 🙏🙏🙏

ADORE*+
Knowing what I
Do now
Talk about
Bad timing
The debt
I had to repay
Was steep
The reveries
Of my mind
I hold you there to this day
My head it still spinning
What a
Paradise I found in you
Moments
Of pure bliss
You stopped me
Dead in my tracks
I was
Lost without a trace
You gave my life true meaning
And a purpose
It was hard to breathe
After you went away
Your beauty
To my beast
A match made in heaven
God sure knew
What he was doing
When he created you and I
The times I want back
The things I never
Got to say
To see you again
Standing in front of me
Would bring my heart and mind
Such joy
I could never comprehend
Unfortunately you came at a time
That didn’t work
Because I was lost in
My own madness
How could I truly love you properly
When I never loved myself
I owed you more then that
And you deserved so much better
Then me
I will always adore you
To the ends of the earth and beyond
Where ever you might be
Just know that I’m eternally
Grateful for the time we had
I just wish it wouldn’t have
Got cut off sooner then it had too

My chronicles
Invaded my
Bloodstream
Divide and conquer
Trials and tribulations
Was it all worth it
Have any true merit  
Karmas a beast
Where’s my dogma
Rainbows in the sky
My complacent
Continuum
A momentary lapse
What I needed
To hear
The end
Only became thee beginning
At a loss for words
Sweet smells
Granted immunity
Balance and clarity
Behold holy water
Phosphorescence
Heavens gates at last
Everything before irrelevant
Maybe it was bad luck
Bad timing
Just not meant to be
Regardless of the circumstances
Painless and whole
I don’t hurt like it used to
Can’t feel anything but the harmony
Of this vast undiscovered universe
Carve
Me out a true home
Erase the dark
Where has my dark passenger
Gone too finally vanished
Free to roam as I please
When the fires
Put out completely
And the winds
Die down fail to swoop
My perfect moment
Has finally come to the forefront
I can’t hardly imagine it
But I’ve pictured it a thousand times
Over and over
Standing firmly before you
Knowing I’m finally exactly
Where I’m suppose to be
And truly belong

THE GREATEST PRISON YOU WILL EVER LIVE INSIDE IS THE PRISON YOU CREATE INSIDE YOUR OWN MIND
- EDITH EGER
EP 500 | 'FEEL BETTER, LIVE MORE'

Bon voyage
I’ll no longer hesitate
To dismiss
The dystopian urges
Daggers
I can feel the
Pinching of the needles
Over medicating
Stimulating sensations
Embracing me in there hold
Slightly focused
Eyes on the prize
Call off the wolfs
Time is not in unlimited abundance
Each second
Is all so precious
Fulfilling gravity
As the smog dissipates
Today the here and now
What else is there
Tail in hand
Tomorrow will
Never change repeat itself
Stay on the same course
If you don’t allow it too
Like a sponge
The insanity
Eventually has to
Be wrung out
Rearranging the chess pieces
On the board
As hard
As it maybe checkmate
I’m finally
Content to a certain degree
Comfortable in my own way
Fine with my current state of matters
The glass slipper
Finally fits snug
My time capsule
At the edge of the ocean
Bottled up nice and tightly
Won’t be coming back
Setting sail for its maiden voyage
No better time then the present

MANIA MY WAKING DREAM
Tragically
The twisted romance
That’s fizzled out
I’ve played
A part in making
Make believing
So compelling it
Almost had me convinced
Facing actual data
Told me the complete opposite
Life sold me out
To the highest bidder me
A constant causality
Fake applause
Death rattle
Catatonic pressures
Fables lye idle  
When will
Thee feelings pass
Honestly I’ve stopped caring
When will my mind and body
Finally catch up
As the real world
Overlaps with fantasy
What’s left over I’ll take the latter
Overlapping dream scapes
The vividness dips it’s fingers in me
It was as if
You were standing
Right there
Then I reached to grab hold
Of you and you vanished like a ghost
Why did you not recuse me
Instead you left me here
Subconsciously unaware
Of my surroundings
Quickly I awoke
From my continual waking dream
Realizing it is what it is meh
The mania running wild again

Ever glow
Walking instep
A seamless transition
Before I go
Haunting lullabies
My weary dreary
Anguish
Pockets
Full of misery
A nameless soul
Outmatched
Red light won’t change
Grappling hook
One eye opened
The ticking
Clock on my wall
Hasn’t moved in years
Retribution day is
Just around the corner
Time to put the
Book down
Complete surrender
Living on borrowed
Time somethings gotta give
By now
If this is
What hell looks like
I’m running the other direction
I’ll take a one way
Ticket to heaven
I’m starting
To believe this planet
May be
The indications are all around me
Catastrophic events of life
Have proven me right
They occur far to often
In my circles
To tell me different
For it not to be
Poor ole me I say
Stuck between a rock and
A hard place
Standing still in neutral

Screeching anthems
Emotional vampire
Enemy of my agony
Brittled so called friend
Nestled between
Pieces in thee deep depths Somewhere in my soul
Infringement
Igniting embers
Gaining traction
Suffocating
Caged sanity
Tourniquet barely holding
Edge of a cliff
The ferocious beasts
Are hunting attempting to
Hand in my resignation
Chain linked
Hands and feet
Oozing secrets
Sounds of fury
Reality gave me glaucoma
The killers of day colorblinded
A last glance
Burning me like a cigarette
To the last puff
Beating a dead drum
Accomplishing nothing
False pretenses
Coddling me to no end
Overprotective of
My thoughts you never were
The proofs in the pudding
Unamused beyond a reasonable
Doubt of anything I certainly was

INFINITE
Unlike any other
Praying aloud
A star
I was wishing upon
Ironic shores
Shadows die
In the limelight
An awakening refreshes thee soul
Fiddler on the roof
No matter the cost
My precipice
Of bad dreams
And omens
Has fluttered to an end
Judgment day has come
Floods of lights
Give me back my sight
Sunshine’s like no other
Warms me to the core
Swing open the pearly gates
As I’m finally rolled into one peace
All that was lost
Time never did me
Any favors
What ever
I was
Was not the
Intended outcome never meant
To be anything more
Bathing
In your cherished glory
Fleeing my untimely horizons
All the madness
Runs a flow
Holy water cleanses
Me off my beaten path
Holding back the tears
Have I finally arrived
Ready to reveal my true self
Letting go of everything
Rebooting in your infinite house
Of astonishment walking along
Right beside you still

Condemnation
Tinted self
My backlit canopy
Couldn’t shield me enough
Optical of the
Universe
Ink my levitation pass
Cryptic skies
No longer a
Bleak atmosphere
Deeper
In thought then ever
The scriptures I hold dear
Closest to my chest
Words of hope
Lift me up
I offer myself up to you
If it will help
The way I’ve been feeling
Evaporate permanently
Circling the wagon
When will my
Sacred heart show itself
Bleed no more
Purity is what I seek
Path to the
Alter is full of obstacles
Patiently
Awaiting my transformation
I’ve taken an oath
To remain faithful
Only visible in the eyes of the beholder
Felt in the deepest spaces
Tarnished walk of life
The whole world in the palm
Of your hand
Yet you’ve profited nothing
You’ve found
You lost your soul
And betrayed yourself
All in the same breath
For what exactly
No amount of riches here
Can compete with what’s
To be revealed
A magic carpet ride
Bathing in the vastness  
No amount
Of riches here
Will bring a steadiness
And truer
Peace of comfort to your soul
Like that of gadol

Pop the cork
And unleash
All your sorrows
Housed in
Plexiglass
Knee deep in
The times
That evaded me
Border line insane
Not centered
You reap what you sow
I’d rather be
More grounded
No amount of love here
Could seal up my seeping wounds
The glowing embers
Oh how
I wish I cloud erase them
Digging up dirt
Diving in head first pilling
Up on top of me
As I wish upon
A star am I all out of wishes
Maybe one day
The agony will dissipate
Every which
Way I look
Starving for
Something greater then me
When will my shoes finally
Fit properly
Always searching for
A simpler alternative to
My mind of madness
It amazing what you can get used too
A rugged complexion
That’s hard to understand
Resembling
Anything that I’ve been unable
To translate into something readable

Speed of sound
Without restraint
The birds and
The bees
Flying in the oppositions skies
Back to square one
Just because
We are blood
Doesn’t make us family
Even if
The lights are
On doesn’t mean
Anyone’s home
Born and
Left on a strangers
Front porch
To fend for myself
Locked doors
Unanswered questions
A plenty
The wars that
Were waged
Battles I fought against
Absentee parents
***** donors
Hit and run I was the victim
The mother and father
I never knew
I had were never present
Who cut a hole right through
My soul  
Left the pieces of me
To pick up alone
And the puzzles still incomplete
In the grand scheme of things
A undeniable cruelty
That will not be forgiven
I just cant wrap my head around
Uninhibited my screams will
Never stop till the day the anger
Dies all together

I’m flawed
Not a saint immoral
Lingering regrets
Longing for something that
Resembles Heaven
Slaying the mighty beast
Leaving him incapacitated
When will my hell
Freeze over cease to be
No resolve all out of glimpses
Hashing out looking for
A needle in a hay stack
High as a kite
One of a kind
My last stand
A one off
Deserted roads
I drank myself to death with the devil
Never worth a nickel of my time
But who really cares
I can count my true friends
On one finger to hell
With all my acquaintances they’ve
Been gone for decades now
Smoke screens feel the air
No false alarms
Inside I should have known invalid
My hyperbaric chambers
Cut wide open
Only one holds the key
To my salvation
Humble thee who’s ungrateful
And doesn’t want any of this
My candle burns
At both ends
Dry bones
A carbon copy
I’m tired of looking at
In need of my refreshing sanctuary
Show yourself
Rise up and guide thee
But it maybe too late
Hanging on a whim
And a prayer
I’m tired of my story
It’s less then lackluster
At least that’s what I’ve been told
Maybe I’m jealous
Envious of what I can’t have
Or become
Truthfully I’m just bored
Trying to be me
It’s an overwhelming task
With excruciating circumstances
A complete overkill if you ask me totally mundane

Stingy echos
The stale air that
Fills my lungs
White noises
Silence is more then welcome
Falling on deaf ears
My howling horizons
Miles apart inside
Boxed in a compartment
Me myself
And I
Who have
I ever been deceived along thee way
Crumbling
Fields of elation
Receding daylight
Constantly over
Thinking day dreaming
Way out of my depths
You rained down
On my parade
From day one
Stripped the armor off
And left me for dead
My tsunami seas
Made me delusional
Navigating life
I couldn’t seem to read
My compass properly
The mirages that lied
That bathed my
Broken spirit in there sands
Like a mothers milk
How could I go without
You stole away my kingdom
And exiled my soul
Where would I be
If you hadn’t
Put me under your spell
The white picket fences
I’ve longed for
Instead replaced by prison bars
Of your imposter syndrome

Engraved
Blistered and pealed
The scars
I wear
Anyway
You dissect it
Self inflicted wounds
Unkept promises
Piercing thorns
Casting shadows
Fall in line
Unresolved questions
Was a curse
Bestowed upon me
Before I was ever granted
My first breath or step
I’m all outta wishes
Good intentions
Flipped upside down
Tortured my insides
Got ripped apart
My wreckage
Wore me like a bad habit
Bullet proof I was not
The rounds that penetrated
Hit there mark every time
Without concern
What couldn’t shield me
From myself the retaliations that
Swooped in
Like vultures
The worse I felt
Thee farther I fell down the rabbit hole
The irony is none of this
Has ever made a bit of sense to me
At times has felt like a reoccurring 
Bad nightmare
I can’t wake from
Yet for some reason I stand here still
Today shell shocked

BYGONE
Wasted filth
No glory in my wrath
Game set match
No one’s gonna save
Me from the memories that haunt
The anxieties swelled
My body’s telling
Me to take a deep breath
And relax if only
A young lad wet
Behind the ears
How could I possibly
Call the shots
My innocence was
Wrongfully exposed
If my fate
Was predetermined I was doomed
Then the limelight
Could never suit
Me well
Give me a side juncture of my own
I’d just like to feel comfortable
In my own shoes for a change
Bitter in the lens
Serious buyers remorse
Self acceptance
Is a very difficult chore
To be myself would be
A beautiful thing
Only wish I felt that way
Knew how to inflate happier
Energy into my deflated body
But what I encountered from childhood
Has the makeup of a hay
Wired mainframe
Caught in a frenzy
The darker side
Was laid in verse
Far from a yellow brick road
Accepting the unacceptable
Never amounted to much
The brick walls
I tried too build
To shield my soul
Numbing as the addictions grew
Coming to grips enraged thee
Unlocking the painful
Past
That I’ve never been immune from
Self sabotage swerved rapidly
They tell me to grow up
When I wasn’t given the
Chance too
Walking in step hoping the ground
Doesn’t cave beneath me
Throwing wood on the fire
Hoping the gasoline won’t
Ignite into an inferno
Wanting to experience some
Authentic moments worth relishing
Later in adulthood
Who are they to tell
Me who or what I am
Can or can’t do
Bygone if only I could take back
What was mine
The years they all stole
They had zero right in doing so
Yet they gladly did

Gravedigger illuminating
Lonely eyes
Where dreams
Came to die
Loaded gun
Broken
Sifting through stone
Searching for a meaning
Holding on too what
Always fighting
Thee failures of wasting time
Staying between
Thee lines
Has become a bit easier
If I could speak
Now into existence
Why did it take
So long to get me here
Dead end roads
Piled up
Mirrors on thee walls
They lied to me all my life
A replica I’m not
No longer a prisoner
Of the games they played
Mere image of what I used to be
Squashed
That dog won’t hunt anymore
He’s buried and dead
Prettier pictures became me
Blank canvases now of my own choosing
They light up my world to no end
I create what I want
And do what I see fit with them

Spiraling
Silver spoons
Have lost there shine
Relapsing innocents
Flew thee cope  
Then came
The Intense retribution
In coming
Avalanche
Left with a
Splintered periscope
And tainted blood
Violently flowing
Creepy non scintillating
Deja vu setting in
Pivoting transitions
Retreating to calmer waters
May I find a path
To a
Unparalleled universe
When thee unknown
No longer scares you
Heavy critique falling by the wayside
Crumbling decades
The bad company
That kept me companion
No response do not resuscitate
I’m perfectly fine with that
Goodbyes are
Easy when
No one is alert
One more time
Around the track
Then I’m jumping ship
Future outcomes
The unpredictability of these
Uncertain times
Have taken the wind outta my sails
How  I’ve dreamed of something
More ideal
That I could never have here
May the shockwaves
Of this soiled place
Wash me away in the wind
Be felt with me
No longer in it

Covered in dirt
Crossing over a bridge
Awaiting a Eulogy
Like a faint whisper
Grab a loudspeaker
Somethings are
Better left unsaid
If you want my truths
Pick up my journals
And read my poetry
Because there ain’t nothing
Hiding there I hold back nothing
I kept a lot
To myself for good reason
I’ve always been good
At stuffing my suitcase
To thee brim
And throwing it in the closet
Jamming everything down
Numbing myself to the core
It’s hard being sober
If people knew how I truly
Felt deep inside
They’d probably run the other direction
And hate me like I’ve
Always hated myself
I put my mask on when I have to
Pretend I’m doing okay
Play there stupid games
When I’d rather just drift off
Into that dark corner off the room
Me myself and I
And the voices in my head
That I’ve dreaded all my life
Words best not spoken…