Black matter
A sickness over ran me
Alive despite it all
Tunnel vision followed
The blisters had ****** me up
Locked down
Where was I
Lost at sea
I wandered this earth
A fool clueless
As to what I was doing
Wasting away inside
Staring at thee same
Screen got me nowhere
Tripping over my own two feet
There had to be another way
Faithful one master of thee universe
I searched you out
Then you appeared
You spoke to me
Like no one ever had
And yet you where there all along
Forward carrying on
I’d rather break bread with you
Then try and figure this
Out all on my own
Because I know I can’t

Gravedigger illuminating
Lonely eyes
Where dreams
Came to die
Loaded gun
Broken
Sifting through stone
Searching for a meaning
Holding on too what
Always fighting
Thee failures of wasting time
Staying between
Thee lines
Has become a bit easier
If I could speak
Now into existence
Why did it take
So long to get me here
Dead end roads
Piled up
Mirrors on thee walls
They lied to me all my life
A replica I’m not
No longer a prisoner
Of the games they played
Mere image of what I used to be
Squashed
That dog won’t hunt anymore
He’s buried and dead
Prettier pictures became me
Blank canvases now of my own choosing
They light up my world to no end
I create what I want
And do what I see fit with them

Battle after battle
Remembering everything
Yet moving forward
The bottles
That I couldn’t
Quit fast enough
The devil almost killed me
A past that will
Never define my whole story
Was never truly me
Only a disguise
I finally took off
The sun
Almost went down
And never came back up
As I struggled to breathe
Keep myself afloat
Looking back
Has become aggravating
As the darkness
Found another place to roam
Other then the hallways in my head
I got sober
I long for much more these days
Battered and bruised
I’ve bled enough
I no longer crave the self medication
That I thought was my way outta here
The poison that numbed me
For a almost a lifetime
Each bottle told a story
All its own
A sad tale of the longest
Lonely days and nights
Of my life
Thee attempt to annihilate my soul
And crush my spirit forever
Was defeated head on
Yet I’m here today standing taller
And prouder then ever
While everyone else thought I
Was a goner for sure
But he had other plans in
Store for me

Daylight ends
Caught between
A rock and a hard place
To close for comfort
Save yourself
Wicked evolution
The dark of me
Never my choice
Hell welcomed
Me with open arms  
And poured vials
Of lifeless feelings into my soul
Depression soon followed
Cold and down
On my luck
The stains that never fade
That which doesn’t
**** you only makes
You stronger
Feed the wolf some more
Add fuel to the fire
The animal within continually hovers
Lying to myself
Wallowing in
My self hatred
Coma blues became all I knew
Screaming loudly
That sinking
Feeling in the pit of my stomach
That wouldn’t budge
Walls that housed my consciousness
As I walked
With blinders on
Stuck in my tunnel of nothingness
Guess it was just easier
To sulk in my sadness
It became an addiction
To just give in and give up
Then to stand tall and fight
The endless halls
That shed my skin
And wore me down
Only made me fearless
As I carved a new path
Against
That which I thought I was powerless against me

Staring through
Thee looking glass
Timelines
Came and went
Never held me in place
Long enough
Like shooting stars they fluttered
Picking straws
Hoping to get lucky
Insecurities a plenty
Chemical reactions
Backfired to oblivion
A recipient of
Buried treasures
Countless dreams that fizzled
Once upon a time
To places only I
Could travel too
Deep in my soul
They broke my fall
Were my temporary crutch
In my darkest moments
Held me together
Blessings fell short
Probably because of me
Every so often
Something majestic
Would come to fruition
Life would pinch me
To remind me I’m still alive
I have a special place
I hold dear
A vault deep inside me
Where
I hold onto all theses special
Encounters
I can count them all on one hand
Keepsakes that I wish
I still held in my hands to this day
That at the time I wasn’t truly
Ready to handle

Nirvana
Hands wiped clean
Sins torched
Debt free
Where the flesh and bone
Went to die
An atmosphere
Like no other
Paradise on a mountain top
Thee all mighty one
Is patiently waiting
He doesn’t pick a side
Where the angels inhabit
And the devils not allowed
Not a care
In thee world
Basking in the clarity
Victory at last
It’s not always about the journey
But the final destination
Should make you glamour for more
Moments stuck in a time capsule
Pushed out to sea
Just leave them where they may
The perfect rain
When thee winds
Stop howling
And all that’s left
Is the bright light of thee sun
Then I’ll know I’ve finally arrived
Home sweet home
Better late then never
Sweeter then anything
I could have ever imagined  
Where have you been hiding
All these years
Right before my hazel eyes
Behind those bright blue clouds in the sky
Enunciate my soul vast universe
And let me stay a while
There will be no more tears in heaven