"I see the stars in your eyes"
That's what you said to me
I just can't be impressed
With your uncreativity
I get you want to toss a line
Since we are far from shore
But I can't help but figure
You've used that line before

Memories that I can’t erase
Of an imaginary happy place
You and I could be
If you’d only notice me

Here we gather
Purveyors of angst and bliss
Speak of us how you wish
The long haired, freaky people
Have found their home
Here we gather
Prepare to roam

I just found a treasure
Still in the field
Playing in sunshine gentle rays
I could pick it up
However
Who is to say
The field might be where treasures
Wish to stay

I’m sorry lady
You’re so angry
That you cannot make me agree
Your imaginary
Take on the situation
Is how it really be
You are certainly free
To believe what you
Think you can see
But the mirage in your mind
Has nothing to do with me

It might be that
He is too big for me
With
All of that pure energy
And beautiful personality
But I am a woman
Mired in greed
Aspirations bigger than
My ability
I’d rise, though
And grow
To be
Better than I could have believed
And I’ll still do that
Anyway
Regardless of what
He takes or leaves

Are you responsible for the version
of you I imagine you are
Or is that all my fault
What did you do to make me idolize you
These aren’t really questions
Because they have no answers
The spark comes
Not on purpose
Especially not to me
But here I be
I’m a hanger on
A weight
Upon something towards you
A burden
Could be
Pushing myself
Relentlessly
You’ve done nothing to encourage me
And me feeling full of myself
Like maybe something could be

Too much said already

I mourn for what we will never have
And things that might have been
If I could go back with what I know now
And do it all again
I would find you, then
If that impossibility was
Something I could achieve
You’d be the first person
I would go to see

I’m not really a poet
I cannot write ten lines about a blade of grass
Well, maybe I could
But why would
I want to do that?  
Poets love words so much
They use too much
I prefer to conserve
But
Wait a minute!
Maybe I am
Really a poet
Choosing to express myself through words
However I do it
Too big or too small
However it be
Maybe I am a poet, after all

It's drama
And you're holding on to it
Because that's
What you feel
You have to offer
If they're not talking about
Your latest meltdown
They're not talking about
You
At all
And you're not responsible for your
Behavior
Anyways
Because you can't control
Your inability to deal
Or at least that's how you've
Conditioned yourself
To feel

It was the direction
I was once heading
But now I’ve veered off course
Not sure where I’m going
But it can’t be any worse

We are one
Within these words
The spell of poetry
The best I can do
When we are really two

I saw your poem about how you hadn’t posted in a while
Because you were waiting until you wrote something worthwhile
And I wanted to tell you
Something that’s true
Or, at least, it’s true for me
Of all the critics in the world there could possibly be
I am the WORST critic of my own poetry
I’ll think something is great
And it just sits there, ignored, in unloved fate
While the stuff I just put up because it was there,
Corny and ugly and reader beware
Seems to be my work to which people respond
There’s really no way to tell
Which of your poems will hit who and how many
So put them up!
And put them up plenty
Give us torrents
Give yourself the release
Share all that beautiful poetry
And don’t stress yourself over what you think people want to see
The worst they can do is ignore it
But that happens to everybody

I come back here
To the written word
It brings me to clarity
That I can revisit
Frequently

I want to know me
But how can that be?
My mind is my only knowing tool
And it is capable of delusion
I want to believe
I’m good and trustworthy
But my eyes see
Grey areas and excuses
Slanted favorably
Towards me

You won’t find the same me ever again
I have grown since then

It’s not self sabotage
When it was already destined to fail
Could’ve held on
I suppose
But nobody knows
How long one must wait
After putting it out there
Self agitate
Burning, yet wet
Unlikely bets
The dealer ignoring
My cards on the table
And I laid them out there
The best I was able
Avoiding my gaze
Not a worthy bet
But that’s what one dealer said
There gotta be a table for me
I just haven’t found it yet
I gotta learn how to stack that deck

Wishes are free
And from what I can see
Pretty empty
But it’s not over, yet
We shall see

We like to blame
Parents
The system
It’s all the same
It would be a pretty safe bet
There’s a break you didn’t get
You don’t dwell
But I can tell
You feel it in your very shell
Woulda, coulda, shoulda been
The chance that went to other men
Some wasted it
Some made it great
You’ll never know
What you woulda made
Of a better fate

I hope to fall head over heels
It seems so unlikely
To find a fit perfectly
But that’s what he would have to be
They say there’s a match for everybody
But it’s not a guarantee we’ll meet
If we do, I’ll be ready
And to be my match
So will he

You turn me on
With your mind
Beautiful to look at
As you are
Your appearance is
The second sexiest thing
You got
You beautiful, beautiful
Man
Smoking ******* hott
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Bonafide nutcases
Explaining their thoughts
Maybe confusion
Maybe clarity
Depending upon
What one receives

You came for a while
Sat on my shoulder
Enrapturing to my eye
I wanted to keep you nearby
But it’s wrong to rip the wings from a butterfly 🦋

I wanna ******* so right
Your bones realign

You walked in
The room got smaller
You fill up every corner
Presence
You might as well have been wearing
A cowboy hat
With all that swagger
No high horse in sight
But a noble steed
Indeed

The high balcony
Far enough away for me to be
Anonymously
Lady teaching toddler about sidewalks
So beautiful to see

Arguing over the internet
Futile, probably
Frustrating, surely
But occasionally
There is a hugely satisfying victory
All the better
There in writing
For everyone to see
One would assume
People want to avoid drama
Naturally
But that’s not the case
For some who are so lonely
And inept at being friendly
So they create controversy
Just to interact with humanity
The natural reaction is to get angry
But really
We should feel sorry
Through the curtain of *******
The hurt person inside is hard to see

Success is simply
Passing it on
Whatever it is

I’m not the nothing
But I ain’t the something
Either
What is that?
Not nothing and not something
Maybe that’s really everybody
All us nomethings
Wandering around
Aimlessly

You will feel my absence
Musing wondering
How does she be?
And then you will come looking for me
Whether or not
I can see you
You will want to know
What I am up to
And maybe one day
You’ll appear again
And we can be friends

True genius
Seems to be
Annoying
People get overplayed
Especially the best
Become a cheap joke of themselves
Being best
Lends itself to characatarichsaurs
An ancient, magic mirror curse

Sometimes it is a curse
To be a blessing

Halfway
Is average
Far enough
But nobody knows
Where they are
On their
Path
Death could come
Anytime
Anyway
And take halfway to
Finish
In the course of just one day

I’ve noticed I talk about lollipops a lot
In my poetry
Mostly when I’m talking about a man who is special to me
For some reason
I can’t figure out
It must be his sweetness that reminds me about
Those tasty delights, sticky and wet
He reminds me of a lollipop
But I haven’t figured out why, yet

Hard way learner
Back burner
Is where I seem to stay
Not one compliment
He will pay
Despite the nice things I always say
Maybe I should rearrange
Tactics, goals, or honesty
Cannot figure out
How to get him to notice me
Losing battles fought for love
Are still lost
At whatever cost
No silver-lined cloud
I just said all that **** out loud
Right in front of the crowd
Everyone with the ability to hear
Turning to me their deaf ear
Maybe the fault is with me
Babbling on uncomfortably
While I think I’m being unique and sweet
I cannot tell the perception of me
But it’s all I can be
Just me
Who no one hears and no one sees

I tend to set my sights high
Impossibly so, really
Go big or don’t bother
Sounds reasonable to me
You are part of all that
You’re probably out of my league
I could try to deny it
But it’s pretty easy to see
Well hey
No harm
No foul
It’s just a little thing that ends up to be
Of no bother to you
And
A whole lot of ***** poetry

He’s out of my league
By a hundred and twenty degrees
And all that really means
Is I can say my heart’s truth
Consequence free
I’m a perpetual youth
Holding a “Tiger Beat” magazine
Constant centerfold is he
Photographs speaking to me
Silently

Everyone loves the writers
Support them all you can
Yet in cities
Trash will pile up
Before we support the garbage man

What do you feel
When you think of me?
Am I a responsibility?
You seem kind
Not the type of guy
Who wouldn’t take me seriously
Or play around with what you don’t mean
I know you have respect for me
But you give that to anybody
Which is probably why I feel so free
To leave my heart entrust to thee

I wish someone would come along
And I’d be like “Andre who?”
You probably wish that for me too

He thought he forgot
How she thought
But it was more true
That he never knew

I’m delusional enough to believe
It wasn’t me he decided to leave
At least not because of me
I tell myself
He was scared
Or too busy
What ever fairy tale
That allows me to still believe

I’ve been well loved by many
But I’ve been well hated too
With the right smarmy attitude
The haters can bring the best out of you
Thank you to all those *******
Wishing sadness, talking ****
Without the motivation
To prove you wrong
I surely couldn’t have accomplished
Half of it

Letting go is easy
When it wasn’t real
So why is this hard?
Thin air and thought patterns
Connection invented
Somehow cemented
Me to this yard
Even though it isn’t real
Letting go is hard

The seven dwarfs
Disney cut
Were unsuccessful in their lawsuit
Against him
Scratchy
Dummy
Stinky
*****
*****
Hairy
And Fattie
Never recovered from Disney’s burn

Young me and young you
Looking at your dad’s
***** mags

Pictures of oral ***
We both said “EW!”
EMPHATICALLY
“That’s something I will never do”
Call it rich or call it cheap
There’s a word I didn’t keep

I almost feel sorry for you
Sitting over there
Trying so hard to be offensive
And don’t nobody care
It must be thoroughly frustrating
To be ignored
When using every trigger word
Trolling, trolling, vigorously
Screaming “somebody PLEASE notice me!”
And still, nobody bothers to see
Your frustration displayed so angrily
Go back in the basement and shut the door
Cry for ya mummy til your lungs are sore
But whatever you do
WHATEVER you do
Don’t come round here bothering me no more

Hemming and hawing
Braying and cawing
Practically bawling
Begging for you
And this inept
Grab at a slice of attention
That never comes
Is all this dummy can do

He must be on some secret mission
Saving democracy
Or maybe he’s climbing Mount Everest
To fulfill some childhood wacky dream
Maybe he’s performing ritual sacrifice
On a spiritual journey
Maybe he got hit by a truck
Or otherwise just ran out of his luck
All of these things I pretend it could be
And I’m over here avoiding reality
He ghosted me

The numbers are sparse
Nobody here is
Searching accolades
Maybe the search is within
By putting our poems without
Sometimes you can’t see something right
Til you put it to another’s eyes
That must be what the search is for
In art and poetry
I’m putting all this out there
In a search for me