A house with a husband who loves me so
Little children who smile bright
Cats by the fireplace
Happiness surrounding us
Meaning that I finally won the fight
A career that I want
Dreams coming true
But will I make it all the way through?
Will I get to this point in time
Or will I get fed up with everything and lay down to die?
Will I continue this Hell and hope to reach heaven?
I really hope that I do
I want that future to become true

I don't care if he is your brother
He's a good friend to me
While you're just an ex lover
Every time you broke me down
He would make me smile instead of frown
We aren't in a relationship
We wouldn't do that to you
Even after all the pain you've put me through
You tell me I'm pathetic and that I'm other words I refuse to say
However it's not my fault that you threw me away
I've lost friends because of you they believe the rumors you spread are true
I got thrown out of my house for you
I would have even died for you
Your brother is one of the only friends I have who still remain true
You tell me you'll hurt him if he doesn't stop talking to me
After all the things you did to hurt me how pathetic can you be?
Keep slandering my name everywhere you go
It's funny how easy it is for a lover to become a foe

All you did was cheat and lie
All I did was stay by your side
I ignored what everybody else was saying
But it was my denial the truth was delaying
You told me you loved me and that you'd be mine forever
But you were also sleeping with her while we were together
And not just one her oh no but maybe two or three more
I know now that your love for me was out the door
Now I see all the truths that were buried deep within your lies
And how dare you have the soul to look me in the eyes
I avoid you but you're everywhere
You're worst than a ghost I wish I didn't care
I wish I had listened to all the truths that were said
Instead I listened to your lies and layed with you in bed
I loved you you enslave me
Now I'm left alone with my tears and no dignity
You aren't a saint you're the devil!
You put all of your sin into me
I can't run away and hide from you
Because your eyes are spears that just stab through
I can't get away from all the memories and the pain
Why is it so ******* me
When it's clearly so easy for
You

I always ask people are you okay?
Even when I know they are
I always apologize even when I know I've done nothing wrong
When somebody asks me if I'm alright
I always say I'm fine
I ask people if they're okay because i need someone to see that I'm not
I apologize all the time because I alway believe I'm at fault
I say I'm fine all the time because i need somebody to say "I know you're not"
I care about everybody all the time
But it feels like my feelings are forgotten a lot

I felt anxiety walking up to the doors
I wanted to cry when i saw the familiar faces
Faces of the people who break me down
Faces of the people who don't care about me
Faces of people who hurt me emotionally
Faces of people who make me cry
Walking up to the doors i felt anger
I felt the stress
I felt the frustration
I felt the feelings that were inevitable
Walking up to that place i realised ill be lonly
My closest friend has a girlfriend
And she tries to make him ignore me
All my friends have found love
And im the one alone
The depression i get from that place is the ruler
While im the throne

Anger built up inside me
Guilt is there as well
Sadness is consuming
Tears starting to swell
Regret is flowing through me
Deep inside I feel
Ive pricked my finger on the needle
Of my hatreds spinning wheel