She hitches her thumbs back over her shoulders. She pokes at the world, full of recriminations, bloodlust and injustice. The big out there world, the one I am hungry for today, at last.

I wonder what happens when I close my eyes for the last time? Will thick fog fill the room? curiously Will I walk hand in hand with the reaper, through twisted gardens of flowers wet with due. Drop off gray lit roses at my tomb? Will soft dim lights of crimson blue greet the nighttime hue. You’re arms may be stretched out to me and home I’ll be. Such surprises await me when I finally close my eyes. I can’t wait for my last time.

I twist and contort from the light
Hiding my cracking porcelain skin
If I step too hard an arm will fall to the earth and shatter. Turn to quick and my ribs will crumble inwards. So delicate I walk on glass  stick legs, careful my footprints don’t leave stains in the snow. I shudder upwards towards the moon but only reach my bedroom window, in I go, they’ll never know.
I prop myself up on the wire stand that keeps me from collapsing and gently lower down the bell jar that keeps me safe. I pop a blue pill to sleep and pray I don’t wake up tomorrow.

Ive given you tons of reasons to leave,
But still you stay
Because those reasons weren't enough
To keep you away
Because I love you so
Because I need you so
No matter what you say
I promise I’ll stay
If you promise the same.

I’ve become so bitter
With no ones arms in which to fall
Alone I wonder will love find me again.
Or am I left and forgotten
Do you think of me?
Like I dream of you,
I just wish you were here
To lay my head upon you
Feel comfort again
To feel anything again
I’m pick my poisons
Take a little more each day
Until my sadness goes away.

How much more pills do I have to take?
To even feel a thing, a glimpse of hope or anything? The days pass so quickly and I always wonder why, I don’t stop to smell the roses or point my face towards the sky, I never even try. I’ve become comfortable in my sadness, though I hate it so. My depression, my madness and obsessions is all I really know.

I want a love so tender and sweet
That you’d look past my scares
And scary habits, the pills and fainting.
To hold me when I cry and
Let me hold you to sleep
Fix me please & don’t ever leave me
I need you like the starts need the moon
I want it now, I’m tired of waiting.
Please come find me. Find me fast.