I love you,
Though I don’t know you very well
And myself, you don’t know me at all
it's not that I'm scared,
but I could die happy
If you would just say you loved me,
Or asked me to hold you
But you’re so far away
I would die tonight because
I love you more than myself
Even though I’ve never met you

You Green-eyed boy
With black flowing hair
From far away lands of which I dream
Please Stop following me to sleep
Possessing my feelings with yearning
Turning my reality inside-out
I will never hold you
And you will never love me
So please tare this fantasy down
My green-eyed sole mate

Take me away
Far away from here
Where things are real
And I can feel
Where I’m more concerned to die
Then weep of being alive.

Lithium, light boxes, little pills for this and that. I’m sitting here in total fear, is anything gonna work? Pay me this, it costs that much. I was once told happiness is free. How do I satiate the demon inside who wants to **** me. How do I lull him, hold him, suduce him? He never sleeps. The pills don’t feel good anymore, I’ve cut too much and now I’m sore. Starving worked but it’s hard to start. There’s nothing left, I’m torn apart.

Fate I believe is true
Most disagree on this topic
But I must believe it
For my life too sour
To swallow a spoonful without belief
If everything happens for a reason
My suffering somehow preplanned
I can open my mouth and pretend
This bittersweet sadness will end.

I have become so bitter
From having no ones arms in which to fall
When my mind is eating me alive
They say it’s better to have loved and lost
I disagree with this strongly

It’s the middle of December
When my sanity recoils
Like a serpent in a startle
I can’t get my balance right
Threw all my marbles in the fight
I have only one emotion
Careless fear of depth and devotion
Never seem to get things right
Me and my mind in constant fight
There are only a few to remember
Long ago years that went a bit better
In disbelief they’ll come again
I’ve met my fate until the end
A sliver of hope ill find my way back
Maybe in April, when my thoughts aren’t black.