You remind me of the blue irises I used to walk past.
Disappearing when the world becomes frigid and dark,
And raising your striped arms, as soon as the sun appears.
You know how to sway your body,
Matching the movements of this world.
You appear cold and uncaring, but at your center is a heart of yellow,
Pure and warm and safe.
Yes, you are an Iris.
A beautiful flower, too far for me to see.

I know i liked too many of your poems.
I know I'm being clingy.
Ignore me.
Pretend I didn't almost reach out.

Raining too fast
Drops suspended in air
A soundtrack to back
That sad indie playlist
I bet you wouldn't like

I miss you.
I miss your laugh,
I miss the way you smell, of ocean waves and soap.
I miss the sound of my name on your lips,
Spoken like honey.
Sweetheart, why did you leave?

Can I take you back?
Give in, lift you up in surrender?
Let you breathe me in and drink my love?
I miss your arms, and your simple touches.
*******, I know I was the one to help you leave,
But I wish I had been selfish. I wish I'd told you stay.

Ironically, the only friend who'd understand I've drifted from.
I used to not miss her, but now all I want is to explain my situation to her.
I used to scoff when she said the word Love,
It was like a mantra, appearing at every friend she made.
But I think I understand.
Can I break the distance? Can we talk?
...
I don't know who I am.
Can you tell me?
You used to...
I never thought I would like girls.
Is this a phase?
Can you answer me? Do you understand?
I pray to god you read this poem.
I really just want my best friend....

To the girl with long brown hair,
Your eyes are intoxicatingly intricate,
And I didn’t notice until
They wouldn’t leave my head.
Until they were all I could see...
Until they had left a haunting on my heart.
•••
To the girl with glasses,
I didn’t realize what was missing.
I didn’t know how I needed you...
And suddenly you were there...
And I felt whole.
•••
To the girl who smells of soap
and ocean waves,
I didn’t- couldn’t- express my feelings.
That day that you expressed yours.
Inside my heart, an unpredictable sea.
But the storm has passed,
and I know now.....
But it’s too late,
Opportunity missed,
like a leaf in the wind.
•••
To the girl who sings,
You feel of late night vibes,
A constant reminder of delirious laughter
And whispered secrets.
...
I know you have to go,
I even understand that you’ll be back...
I know it shouldn’t make a difference,
But it does
And I’m still hurting.

•••
To the girl of roleplays,
I know it’s lame to say this,
But when our characters,
Touch and love and kiss...
My stomach gets a million butterflies
And my heart does backflips.
•••
To the girl named Avery,
If I could express my feelings,
I would.
But you feel for another,
And my parents restrict on who I can love,
So I will sit here,
In my veil of       S   I   L   E   N  C   E
•••
To you, my sweetheart...
You make every day worth living,
And I know we hugged goodbye,
But I still cried myself to sleep last night.
•••
To the girl I love,
You are the most;
Smart, kind, ethereal, funny and cunning
person that I know.
•••
I can imagine us in our twenties.
In only our T-shirt’s and underwear,
We cook and dance.
It’s early, but you sing anyway,
as I only grumble at the time...
———————————————————
You hug me from behind,
And I kiss your cheek.
You’ll say “Morning Sunshine”
And I’ll sleepily reply,
“Morning Sweetheart”.

I imagine evenings where you are ranting,
Pacing our living space.
I’ll sit and listen, a cup of wine in my hand.
In the end, I’ll offer comfort and love,
Laying your head down on my lap,
I’ll hum,
I’ll play with your hair,
I’ll give you my thoughts,
And if you fall asleep,
I’ll lay there all night,
so as not to wake you.

I imagine you getting overwhelmed,
By all my emotions and irrationality,
But somehow still finding it endearing.
I imagine bumps and cracks,
But in the end, it’ll all be worth it....

I imagine us.
And I’m too afraid to say it.
I.    L O V E.    Y O U.

i messed up
i hurt you
and now im just...so .... so.... incredibly sorry.