i messed up
i hurt you
and now im just...so .... so.... incredibly sorry.

I am Christian.
and I am loving.
Love who you love,
Cause God loves you.
He made you perfect how you are.
I believe if you have the opportunity to help,
you should.
That person's prayers could be answered through you.
And no, God doesn't hate gay people,
He doesn't hate anyone. That is his truth.
The journey might be hard, but it is always worth it.
I believe that everyone is better than their darkest moment.
And I never would have believed these,
If I hadn't been through hell and back.
I promise you, no matter what you believe or who you are,
It will be okay.
You will make it, even if you don't think so.

Today I told my story.
Every single little thing.
My old therapist told me I should, so I did.
One friend told me I was faking it,
because I'm too happy,
Another told me that I was just being dramatic,
cause I smile too much.
But the most charming smiles,
hold the weirdest pasts.
My bright blue eyes have cried so many tears that they have changed colors
And I know my heart is kind,
But the softest souls, have held the most pain.
I am who I am, because of who I was.
And that is valid.
I have become like the waters I jumped into,
turbulent once, but now,
Simply soft and caressing.

You ask for my opinion,
but did you actually want it?
It seems like you just wanted confirmation.
You ask what I'm learning,
And then proceed to tell me why all of it is wrong.
You speak
                 and
                        you speak
                                         and
                                                y o u
                                                            s  p  e  a  k

you speak without research or regard,
without consideration for the other side.
So for once can you just listen?  Cause this needs to be heard.

You are N O T  justified in oblivion.
You are entitled to your informed opinion, N O T your ignorance.
I'm sick of you talking about things you don't understand,
And I'm tired of your refusal to listen to me.

I'm willing to fight but are you?
I don't want us to end, but do you?
I've always been the one to reach out,
But if I wait will you ask me?
Do you blame me for leaving, when you were the one to go?
Are you mad that I didn't try to fix this ,
When you are just as capable?
Why am I always the one trying...
Should I just give up?

The water crashes down
I watch it fade away, this year, these friends,
What will happen to us?
The murky depths are swirling and pushing,
I wish i was with you.
I relive the waterfall, my eyes burning, my lungs cold,
It's like it happened yesterday, and I still can't find the surface
I wish it could all stay, I don't want you to go...