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Relaxed, Intertwined, feeling rather free,
Glee emotion in your eyes, give me peace.
Kicking my feet, drinking morning coffee,
as you gaze at me like a masterpiece.

Tints of crimson always filling my cheeks,
The past, it hurts, but my future is green.
I had felt like many dusty antiques,
you didn't, filling my heart like a marine.

Indescribable, Irreplaceable,
Many say as they manipulate me.
Undesired, I became replaceable,
Not by the writer who lives oversea.

He makes me relaxed, his arms around me,
He tells my worth, I begin to agree.
This poem is based on the factor that I used to not be fond of love; I used to be terrified of it because I knew I LOVED love. I lost my first love and it hurt me like a thorn and became numb to emotion and hurt by the world.

Soon enough time passes and I meet someone new, he wasn't like him but a lot better and tells me my worth; I think it was sad, how hurt I was when my 'first love' wasn't love since I was doing all the work.

So now that someone loves me and I begin to love him, I feel my heart blossom, re-open and start to feel vulnerable and free.

Here's to loving again.
 Aug 2018 Josephine Wilea
yúyīn
Forget the risks
Cut the wrists
Take the fall
If that's what it takes,
just end it all.
@.**
It controls her
She can't stop it
It's a constant battle
She can't drop it

It has become a habit
She can't quit
It's taking over her body
Bit by bit

The scars fade
But the memories don't
She wants them to leave
But they refuse.. They won't

It's an on going battle.
It's a fight she never wins
It's a constant struggle
It's a war that never ends

It's her sweet escape
It gets her lost in her own place
She gets to control the pain
As her adrenaline starts to race

She grabs it off the dresser
As a tear falls from her cheek
She presses even harder
Reminding herself not to shriek

No one understands
No one ever will
This habit now controls her
As the world around her stands still

But now the room is spinning
Her head is getting light
She falls back in her bed
Refusing to put up a fight

She takes one last breath as she turns out the lights
Then she closes her eyes as she calls it a night
No one ever understands my scars
The pain of leaving you is creeping in,
Am I detoxing the opiates in your skin?

My fractured heart is in its mould
Held together with hopes turned cold.

The time will come for it to thaw
And expose the damage from a love so flawed.

As it crumbles it will take its bow,
For it's only to blame for the state it's in now.
My poetry is ice cold
And offer me no sympathy
Lines have no comfort between them
On top or underneath them
If words could conceal my hearts disease
Then paper would be rough and bumpy and creased
Forgive me those who put their souls on sheets
Forget what I've written like flaky Autumn leaves
That become nothing after they brown and fall from trees
Gather up my words and spread them in the wind
But, I fear that my sonnets mean nothing to the ears in which they're caught
Like paper doves, they sink in water
Mine, though they rhyme, holds no less passion than torture
For those who feel different, don't let this thought bore you
For feelings that linger will soon pass
Trains that stop, will again move fast
And like these things that never lasts
That is poetry to me, so this is my last
#Goodday #and # Goodnight
 Jul 2018 Josephine Wilea
Myrrdin
I am only one person
That is not a lot
It is still a lot more
Than I'd like to be
Today
 Jul 2018 Josephine Wilea
Erin
I wonder what it’s going to take for you to believe me.

Another sleepless night?
Another cut?
A deep cut. So deep the room screams scarlet.
Or maybe some pills, perhaps a few too many.
Maybe I should die, then you’d definitely notice.
And you’d swear I was always so happy, the life of the party.

But I was broken.
UK Samaritans Number: 116 123
 Jul 2018 Josephine Wilea
Geanna
Deep inside where nothing's fine
I think I finally lost my mind
.....
The deeper I think
The deeper I seem to sink
.....
I don't want to be me
I don't want to be someone else
I just want to disappear
.....
And then the last thread snapped,
leaving her without a reason ..
A reason to breathe
.....
Flavored bullet shots
Deadly love
Stolen screams
And broken cries
Lo! ’tis a gala night
  Within the lonesome latter years!
An angel throng, bewinged, bedight
  In veils, and drowned in tears,
Sit in a theatre, to see
  A play of hopes and fears,
While the orchestra breathes fitfully
  The music of the spheres.

Mimes, in the form of God on high,
  Mutter and mumble low,
And hither and thither fly—
  Mere puppets they, who come and go
At bidding of vast formless things
  That shift the scenery to and fro,
Flapping from out their Condor wings
  Invisible Wo!

That motley drama—oh, be sure
  It shall not be forgot!
With its Phantom chased for evermore,
  By a crowd that seize it not,
Through a circle that ever returneth in
  To the self-same spot,
And much of Madness, and more of Sin,
  And Horror the soul of the plot.

But see, amid the mimic rout
  A crawling shape intrude!
A blood-red thing that writhes from out
  The scenic solitude!
It writhes!—it writhes!—with mortal pangs
  The mimes become its food,
And the angels sob at vermin fangs
  In human gore imbued.

Out—out are the lights—out all!
  And, over each quivering form,
The curtain, a funeral pall,
  Comes down with the rush of a storm,
And the angels, all pallid and wan,
  Uprising, unveiling, affirm
That the play is the tragedy, “Man,”
  And its hero the Conqueror Worm.
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