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 Jul 2018 Josephine Wilea
eve
Back when I had obtained my innocence,
I remember the happiness and freedom with life,
Everything went great,
Everyday was cherished as a blessing,
As it should always be.
Then one day came along,
Suddenly, I grew up way too quick.
I knew that something wasn’t right,
Nothing felt right anymore.
But, I still counted on the efforts of others,
To show me,
To guide me,
To protect and be there for me.
I was let down, disappointed at her,
My love was open arms,
My heart unlocked, but broken at one fall.
One less lonely girl,
Treat her like she’s worth,
If you value her, prove it.
Allowing pride to take over pain will only hurt,
So, don’t lose her or yourself in the process,
Trust the feeling of fighting,
Being brave and courageous enough to express,
She needed that, she wants that still.
Take her hand,
Twirl her around a few times,
And show her different.
Humanity,*
We all have to keep believing in it.
because If we don't have eachother,
than what do we really have?
Influenced by a class discussion in English.
 Jul 2018 Josephine Wilea
Jamilla
I can't talk to anyone
I can't call you and ask how you are
I can't be friends with anyone
I can't raise my hand
Without the fear of being wrong
I can't hangout with new people

I can't live my life
That I wanted it to be
It's like being in a big ocean
I can get up but I feel numb
It's like wanting to do my best
It's like your drowning but you aren't
It's not a way to live
It's a way to die
 Jul 2018 Josephine Wilea
Geanna
I didn't do it last night
I couldn't do it last night
It's driving me crazy
I feel as if I need to do it
The urge is making me
want to do it deeper and deeper

I feel like a smoker who hasn't had a cigarette within hours
They need the nicotine, They need their new drug

A rubber band is not as good as a blade
It never has been
It never will be

A rubber band stings
it doesn't scar
it doesn't permanently leave a mark
it doesn't make you bleed like a blade would

What does a blade do?
A blade is something that you can really control
You control how deep you want it
You control where it'll strike next
You control how long it'll last

It's like a power
A ****** power that's very addictive
I feel as if i'll explode without it
As if i'll go mad without it
As if i'll die without it

I need it
I want it
I have to have it
~ G.P.O

I made this on June 19, 2017
I am happy to say that I no longer feel this way and I have improved
 Jul 2018 Josephine Wilea
Geanna
No one will truly know how badly messed up
my mind and thoughts are

I want to commit suicide
yet I don't

I want to slice my wrist but I
have to do it some place else

I want to push everyone away
yet I don't want to be lonely

What the **** is wrong with me?
~ G.P.O
Was it because,

   I wore black?
   I wore make up?
   I colored my hair blue?
   I listened to different music?
   I didn't play sports?
   I had few friends?
   I didn't say Hi to you?
   I didn't wave to you?
   I didn't go to prom?
   I didn't fit in with the norm?
   I was fat?
   I was skinny?
   I was gay?
   I was black?
   I was Asian?
   I was white?
   I wasn't as beautiful as you?
   I wasn't on the honor roll?

Or was it because
I was just being me?
Dedicated to everyone that has felt this way and to memory of Sophie Lancaster and her boyfriend, Robert Maltby
To be in the same room,
To be within inches of someone else
To only feel a universe away.

My poetically
heartwrenching problem--
Entire disassociation.

It used to frighten me,
The crippling weight of
Weightlessness

Inessence and non-stimulation,
Bearing down on my soul in what I felt
To be a repentance of past-life sins--
For what did I do to deserve
Non-feeling?

The burden of nothingness
Is
By far
More burdensome
than the accumulation
Of feeling
Everything
All
At
Once.
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