i love you so dearly
but you are dying me blue
from the tips of my toes
to the tears you make me cry
i know you’re too clueless to understand the emotions of a hopeless romantic like me
but i hope you can understand one day
that i am doing this because i love you too much.
for so long i never understood why people left the ones they loved
“Why do such a silly thing to yourself?” I would ask the stars accompanying venus
but now i understand that the silly thing would be to stay
because as much as i love you
i need to love me too.
so for now i’ll sail my ship far away
and maybe one day you’ll grow up as i did
and love me as a love you.
and it pains me to say this
this pain is like no other
i would rather take a bullet straight through my head
but we all have to make sacrifices
and so now i will take a bullet straight through my heart
goodbye.
~ you know who you are. i love you too much to stay. i hope you can forgive me but for now let me forgive myself.~

When I'm sad I like to think about traffic,
The way it might feel if a car swerved,
And every one of my bones crushed all at once.
When I'm happy I think about traffic,
How terrifying it would be if a car swerved,
And I lost everyone and everything all at once.
I'm in love with you like I love oncoming traffic.

i hate the way you hurt me,
the way you make me cry.
i hate the way you hurt me
with that sly look in your eye.

i hate your stupid smile,
the awful grin you use.
when you see the way i look at you,
you always seem amused.

i hate the way you make me write
about you every day.
i hate the way you yell,
i hate every word you say.

i hate the way you hurt me
with every bruise you leave.
bruises on my soul
for everyone to see.

i hate the way you dress.
i hate the way you do your hair.
i hate the way you try to touch me;
it leaves a constant scare.

i hate the way you look at me.
i wish you were never there.
i hate the way you keep me up at night,
sweat collecting in my hair.

i hate the way you hurt me

My mistake
Was loving you too hard.
My regret
Was never telling you
That I needed love back.

I'm sorry for ignoring you
I'm sorry for not being there for you
I'm sorry for not 'being myself'
I'm sorry for bringing you down
I'm sorry for everything you don't understand
I'm sorry for everything I don't understand
I'm sorry for being belligerent
I'm sorry for annoying you
I'm sorry for bothering you
I'm sorry for being sorry
I'm sorry for always saying sorry
I'm sorry for everything here on out.

I crave for impossible things to happen ,I’m 32 years old  and I’m in a empty parking lot crying,I woke up this morning contemplating the peace and acceptance our break up gave me ,I guess it was illusions ,I wanna text you and asked you “what are you up to” I want one of your hugs ,stop crying