You're my star in the middle of a very dark and dreary sky.

My heart aches with too many emotions,
I want to throw them away.
I wish I could do what others say,
and forget these things that fill me with rage.

I hate words,
they never come out right.
They always feel slurred
or awkwardly uptight.

I don't want you anymore,
You've left my heart cut open; sore.
My knees go weak after I'm done seeing,
You standing there with her kissing.
I feel my stomach start hurting.
I'm getting a lump in my throat,
I can't seem to focus.
I dropped the cup holder I was holding,
Warm coffee drowns my snowed on shoes.
And that is when I woke up,
My heart knows what you've done.
But it aches because it also knows,
What I myself had done.
I deserve this.

I'll follow you
from one place
to the next,
because you make me happy
And you're the one I want to be with.

I don't want to think about it...
Falling in and out.
I have a lot of love for you
I don't want it to burn out.

I never want to forget
the feelings you've made me feel.
The way I can't stop smiling
when you're done laughing
or squeezing my hand...

How I feel as you kiss me
or when you're just sitting nearby...
I don't want to stop feeing warm and bubbly
the thought makes me want to hide.

I don't care
I don't care
I don't care
I don't care
i don't care
i dont care
i dont car
i dont ca
i dont c
i dont...

Everytime we say goodbye
I go home to my bed and then I cry.

My collarbones are not visible.
Nor is my beaten heart.

When I was once sad,
You held me in your arms.

I recieved comfort,
That was much needed.

But you didn't save me from the dark.
You made me see what lingers inside of it.

I love you from the bottom of the ocean,
all the way up to Saturn and past it.

My heart raced so unsteadily as I read the sentences that you sent to me
I know that you love me and I hope you know that I'm in love with you..
I'm aware that some of the things that I write (some being most) aren't all that happy, I can get stuck in dark places sometimes and have problems while trying to find my way out of them but I think I'll just stop worrying for a while and try to be happy, especially if that means being happy with you.. I don't want to give you any reason(s) to be upset or worry so I'll try my best not to.

I no longer listen to those songs I once loved,
because I don't want to turn into
what could've been for you and her.
I always thought we'd find our own songs either way.

When I'm laying here
listening to your letters
crinkling as my old fan
blows air towards them
on the wall, I feel calm.

Your upbeat soul broke through my shy walls and gave me a reason to sing again.

I feel awkward
You're making me mad
You tell me one thing
And then take it back

What's your deal?
Do you want me here or not?
If I'm just a burden
Tell me so I can go get lost.

It's not fun for me either,
Being somewhere I'm not wanted.
Regardless I smile
And will not be haunted.

My poetry
may appear to be
written goofily
but they mean a lot to me

when the clouds pass me by I'm at peace
The stars spark joy,
the moon feels like a mirror
being in nature helps things become more clear
The wind holds my hands for seconds
and I feel like I'm being held
The ground beneath me tells me I'm strong
The rain that pours down on me
feels like hope and security
I want to believe it's who I'm becoming

I climb into bed
in the early AM's
and then struggle to get
one leg out of my blankets

I look up at my ceiling
and realize I forgot to turn on my fan.
I don't usually admit it
but without noise in the background,
the dark leaves me feeling scared.

i continue to update this page
to exclaim to something or someone
how i'm feeling,
whether it be about him, her or me...
depression, love or feeling happy...
sometimes i need an outlet.
without one, i can become tragic.

I remember the past, infatuation.
Just breathe, pull it all back in.
Ignore it, shove it past the gates.
The gates of your imagination.
Focus on the now.
Things will work out.
Don't worry about what's happened.
Focus on doing things different.
You can make it.

I thought of you today,
But that's nothing new
I thought about you yesterday
And the day before that too.

This morning I woke up
Wishing I could kiss you
My cheeks felt warm
Logan, I love you.

Family getting drunk,
Little sister out getting high,
and here I am, wishing for one thing
before I go to sleep tonight.

Silent nights
Restless eyes
Quiet dreams
Capture me
Sad girl
Melodic laugh
Dreary eyes
Questionable past
Drenched in pain
Screaming skin
Wrapped up in depression

I miss you,
the person who makes me feel whole.

I just realised,
That door is staying closed.
He's done with me, I know.
I was so stupid to believe,
That he'd be generous to me.
I did him wrong.
I deserve everything that I'll be getting.

You've showed me
that I don't need to be afraid.
Not everyone is going to leave
and there's no reason to push them away.

The number grows but
I still can't tell if I am whole.
Every day is nearly the same
until it's simply not.

Even family changes or moves on.
No one is safe in the long run,
Not the encountered stranger,
the acquaintance or friends...

Nobody knows when they'll meet their end,
and it scares me.
I don't like the YOLO philosophy,
but here I am again, pondering.

I'm trying to make sense of everything
I'm wondering what exactly I need...
What can help me be happy?
I wouldn't say I'm ashamed but my past is embarrassing?

I guess I'll continue and just keep going
I'll keep trying my best,
For as long as I can,
I'll try to get through this

Remembering things we did together,
always makes me feel better.
Whether I'm angry or sad
when I look back, I end up smiling.

I'll hold your hand
And won't let go
I want you to know
How I love you so

You make me smile
And I always blush
I just can't help it
You stir my thoughts up.

in the car
I blare music
in the car
it's warm
but not humid
in the car
I can be loud
or quiet.
In the car
I'm alone
but it's not silent.
In the car
I can drive away,
in the car
they can't hurt me.
In the car
I'll say goodbye,
in the car
I'll drive all night.

Walls fall down
and heart doors open,
love surrounds,
what once was broken.

My heart reaches out,
it screams, it smiles
knowing that one thing
will stay constant.

When things like this come up,
I often wonder if I'm good enough.
I'll feel cold as I remember it all
then super weak remembering the fall.

I tried my hardest to forget,
I had thought denial was my best friend.
Just when I think I've made peace with it,
everything comes crashing back to me...

I hate these heated months.
Not only because of the bugs,
and the weather that brings so much sweat
but because of the nightmares that come with them.

Don't say goodnight, not yet.
Just stay with me
and say, "the night's not over yet."
continue to tell me silly things
that you're reading.
I know I'm not saying much
but I won't admit I'm feeling sleepy.

I want to lay beside you
and hold you when you're uneasy.
I want to be there when you're cold
and hug you until you go crazy.

And when you're sad
I want to make you feel better.
And when you're mad
I want to tickle you into laughter.

I want to comfort you.

I don't know why
every single time
we have a fight
I remember that time,
the time you hurt me the most.

I say I often,
Is what my mother said.
My sister's too logical to understand
The analogies I use to defend my actions

She said I'm too creative,
She even rated me at an 8.
Apparently that means for me,
Saying sorry is on my plate.

Why do I restart my life once a year?
Restrict myself from growing,
Whenever conflict appears
I'm not passionate about anything
Restarting is easier than keeping on.
Even though I just want to be done
I start over

I wish
we lived
closer to
each other,

because,
we both
could use
a hug
right now.

Knowing there is a piece of you
always thinking of what could've been,
makes me feel this strange jealousy...
and I hate it.

Some people think I'm dramatic,
"She's gotta be fibbing-"
I'm not sure why people won't take me seriously
I'm always "too sensitive," never impressive

They wonder why I choose to hide,
Stay inside and never visit
Because they don't accept who I am.
They throw me in the family box for misfits.

You don't write often
but I still check your page every day.
You word things in such a sublime way.

Why am I crying

I'm still a child
yet an adult as well.

People think I should act one way
and when I do that they yell...

So tell me, judgies?
what do I wear today
a smile, frown or should I walk in a haze?

I'd love to know.