KPop and horror films,
You're just the silliest girl.
I don't want you to go,
We've been through a lot,
I know.
I'm not going anywhere though.
You don't need to worry about that,
So.. don't.

Grab my face in your hands,
And kiss me as if the Sun were pulling us in.
Imagine it's really the end,
And hold me close to you.
Now we're trapped inside of a flooding room..
When you see me, for the first time..
(When I see you, for the first time..)
Pull me into your arms and don't let go.
(I'll pull you close to me, and refuse to let you go.)
But just know, it's only because I love you so..

My collarbones are not visible.
Nor is my beaten heart.

When I was once sad,
You held me in your arms.

I recieved comfort,
That was much needed.

But you didn't save me from the dark.
You made me see what lingers inside of it.

Any and every doubt that ever crossed my mind,
He's caused to disappear; and just in time.
With him I can always speak my mind.
I admire the way that he always shines.
No matter what he's doing or saying,
He tends to perform the perfect crime.
It's titled, Stealing My Heart,
Do you want to know why?

He lights a fire underneath my skin.
The things that he's said and written,
Leaves me in a place where I can't help but grin.
Deep down inside, my heart is slowly drowning.
And the direct cause would be from his eyes- so piercing.

I want him to know that his hands, I want to hold.
I want to run down hills that are covered in snow.
With him I'd travel around this uneasy globe.
Just in search for something; maybe a show..

I would do anything, just to be beside him.
Maybe once he's in my arms, my head won't spin.

I'm sorry for the pain that you're feeling right now.
Just know that things will get better, But for now,
You should just embrace your frown.
It's okay to be sad for a while.
But please know this won't last forever.
Eventually, you'll feel better.
And when you do, believe it or not.
You will more than likely find new love.

Hit me again.*
You say it's a punishment.
You told me it's a learning process.
You act like it's the way to learn;
That you've done wrong.
So if I hit you back this time,
Will you realise what you've done?

I want to shove you out of my life.
You stabbed my heart with such a sharp knife.
So quit being ignorant. You're just a part of my past.
Someone who is indifferent to me, the feelings didn't last.
You may say you regret making such mistakes,
Just get over it, you were tricked,
He lied straight to your face.
Don't worry about it.
My heart was once split.
But he's fixed it.
You should move on too.

Thank you for always being there.
I know that you're not going anywhere.
I appreciate everything that you say to me.
You've helped me learn to think more freely.
And for that I'll never be able to thank you enough.
Maybe this emotion I'm feeling is stronger than love.

We used to be so close,
But now you're one of those,
People who don't need me anymore.
It's okay because I'm used to being ignored.

I just never expected it from you.
Because you were once my sun; my moon.
You challenged me to think differently,
About love, life, and everything.
It's too bad, now I finally see.
You just lied to me.
I hate you.

Maybe someday you'll feel this pain too.

It must be nice to not be lonely.
To have such a place,
Where people smile; the same song.
I want to someday, sing along.
It's too bad that I'm not wanted.
No one wants to hear my voice.
At least not by choice.

I'm sitting in a corner rocking back and forth
You were all I wanted; now I want to leave this Earth

Even if I stayed it wouldn't make much of a difference
Everytime I try to change there is no significance

Tell me, why does the clock keep ticking when my heart is breaking?
You've become so cold is that why I'm now shaking?

Now I'm floating in the middle of space drowning in hate's embrace
This world that I'm in *****! I just can't stop messing up! ******.

My heart is racing violently,
Yet I stay seated silently.
Please not now, anxiety.
I need to remain calm.
I lightly touch my temples,
I can't keep myself from gasping.
I look towards the door,
My eyes begin to sting.
A tear drops past my cheek.
**** this, I need to leave.
"Don't say such things."
I swear.
These emotions have me snared.
As I stare at the door in tears,
I finally run through it,
Down the hall; and stairs.
They put me through this.
The reason I'm so anxious,
Is simply because of you idiots.

I don't want him to worry about me.
I know I write rather depressing things.
I just let the words come out.
It's as if I'm grabbing chips from a bowl.

So just know that when you read my words,
At times I'm not as sad as they point towards.
You have to really strive to find the sadness,
Behind my own eyes.

Sometimes I don't see it myself; until I break down.
So, just know that you have nothing to worry about.
At least not right now.

I feel like I could get sick any minute now,
The words that you confirmed have intensified my frown.
I need to find some way, somehow to get out of this town.
I'm tired of being trapped here, I just need to get out.
I miss feeling comfort, when the tears all run down.

Please, someone save me, I'm tired of this drought.
Take me to Cherrapunji, where my tears can blend in.
Maybe after the rain stops there I'll be able to accept it.
But right now, as I'm crying in my bed..

I'm afraid my stomach has decided, this is the end.

My heart is sinking as I step into the Chukchi Sea.
Off from Alaska's beach into this water, which is -40 degrees.
I'm freezing inside of a blanket, weaved from a fabric called sadness.
If this is your way of leaving me behind,
I'll allow the waves to swallow me.
As you're watching, I continue sinking. It's as if you've gone blind.
The person I remember, wouldn't have stood there watching.
Which leads me to believe you don't truly care, is that it?

On the other side of the screen,
Do you know who I see?
I see someone smiling,
A guy with a nice laugh.
An amazing personality.
This person whom I want to hug.
So badly, but can only do so in my dreams.
I want him to forever, stay with me.

All these words smothered on my face,
I smile anyways.

Heartbeat in my stomach,
Maybe I should go running.
I need to relieve this feeling.
The feeling that you give me.
I can't tell if it's love or anxiety.
I hate the thoughts I'm receiving.
You don't hate me.
But you don't love me either.
I understand now.

My throat is swelling up,
My thoughts seem to be stuck.
You're over me now, I know.
I didn't think that was it, though.
I should've seen it coming.
This heartbreak that I'm feeling.
But I completely deserve this.
Because I acted so selfish.

I don't want you anymore,
You've left my heart cut open; sore.
My knees go weak after I'm done seeing,
You standing there with her kissing.
I feel my stomach start hurting.
I'm getting a lump in my throat,
I can't seem to focus.
I dropped the cup holder I was holding,
Warm coffee drowns my snowed on shoes.
And that is when I woke up,
My heart knows what you've done.
But it aches because it also knows,
What I myself had done.
I deserve this.

I go to turn off my phone - leave me alone;
I see your text - and I know what's coming next
You come over, call me your lover; we get under the covers

Why is it that I'm feeling so smothered?
Didn't we once love eachother?
I suppose it must've been lust
The tears that I've shed
May turn me to rust.

His laugh is the best sound,
I want him to stay around.
So I won't give him any reason,
To go walking away from me.

I am afraid to be alone with myself.
Because I don't want to know myself.

I don't want to see myself,
The way other people do.
People are always leaving,
And if I realise why they do,
Will I leave too?

I don't want to know.

Silent nights
Restless eyes
Quiet dreams
Capture me
Sad girl
Melodic laugh
Dreary eyes
Questionable past
Drenched in pain
Screaming skin
Wrapped up in depression

Do you not realise that your words affect me?
Harsh or sweet, raw or overbearing.
They always have an affect.
When I see your smile,
My heart connects.
Please don't reject,
Me.

You make me feel so sublime,
I wish we were closer,
All the time.
I don't want to fight,
I'm missing you a lot tonight.
We're different.
But it pulls us in together.
I want to know every inch of you.

I want to hold you in my arms,
And shield you from your fears.
I hope you know I believe in you,
And just how much that I care.
I'm sorry for the things that occured.
Will you let me hold you once again?
I won't let go this time. I promise.

Tears slip over my smile.
My eyes are stinging,
But I am happy.
I have him.
At least for a while.
This enthralling boy.
He catches my eye,
I want to talk to him,
All the time.
He is humorous,
But also serious at times.
He is so different from me.
It's somehow a great thing.
Everyday there is something new.
He's someone I want to fall into.
Embrace me, won't you?
..Engaging boy.

Even this subject to me is.. impure.
It's so agitating, why can I not forget?
Does the universe mean to keep it..
Locked inside of my head?

I want to forget the whole month,
Of that year.
I want to leave behind everything,
That I was too afraid to act out.
Everything that happened because,
I did not act out.
I was a weakling trapped inside of,
A lost girl.

Now I have been found,
In the best way possible.
Is it not supposed to be,
..easy now?

I suppose that's just not plausible.
After all I did somehow cause it all.
I kept it all shut inside for a while.
But it has to all spill out eventually.

It is so difficult to remain happy.
Or is it?
I shouldn't let this get to me,
But I am unclean.

What if no one truly wants me.
This is my greatest fear.

I hate my brain,
For not knowing what to say.
There are so many words,
Just waiting to be shared.
Yet my thoughts remain blurred.
Why?
I know that he cares.

I don't want to be without you anymore.
You were someone who evened out my scores.
I need you to stay by my side, no matter what.
Don't leave me alone tonight.

"I don't care if we're in some ****** *** apartment.
Laying on a worn out mattress."
With you, I don't have to hide.
I hate myself for taking so long to notice.

I'm sorry, the future wasn't my main focus.
But now I know I can make it.
But I only want to make it with you.
Don't say that we're through.

Take me with you.

The sound drowns out
You're mind fills with doubt.
You've been living in bed lately.
Did you really think you could act sanely?
People can see that you're sad.
They can tell as you walk past them.
Your eyes are in a depressed state.
Have they not yet realised their fate?
You somehow stay calm as you say,
We'll all die someday. so silently.
I wonder if you're really there anymore.
So long ago, you shut that door.
The door that kept me inside.
But Just know, I'm still alive.
Your happiness is in here.
You just have to find me.
Don't let the sadness devour us.
Please, you're not Hell Bound,
You're just stuck inside of the sound.
The sounds of the past.
But listen, it doesn't last.
I believe that you will succeed.
Just trust in me.
Find me.
We can be happy, again.

My eyes are stinging
I feel tired now,
Just let me lay down.
I want to be alone.
Do I really though?
I want to be held.
I'm fed up with myself.
I mess up everything,
Always.

I just realised,
That door is staying closed.
He's done with me, I know.
I was so stupid to believe,
That he'd be generous to me.
I did him wrong.
I deserve everything that I'll be getting.

Heavy heart.
Tightening lungs.
Confused thoughts.

Eyes burning as the tears fall down. They're almost acidic, they burn as they slip over my frown.

Chores at 3:00 AM,
Thoughts breaking through my skin.
Don't do that **** to him.
He wouldn't embrace this either way.
So keep moving along, don't stay in place.
You know it'd happen anyways.
You're incapable of such things.
So, go back to cleaning.
Bubbly water splashes.
Plates break,
You cry as you take in your fate.
Emotions are ****** up.
Which is why you were meant to stay alone.

And now I'm laying in the dark crying,
Wishing for some form of comfort.
But I don't need this right now.
I need to embrace my frown.
Don't give in to the tightening of your heart.
It's not a permanent occurrence.
That is what I'm afraid of.
I won't give into this feeling.
Because I'm afraid it will fade.
He does not deserve that loss.
So I will continue to be lost.
All by myself.
This is my fate.

Sinking deeper, and deeper.
Slowly floating under.
Fading away.
Please don't say those things again.
I don't want to hear them.
Don't you understand?
It kills me knowing..
That I hurt you.
I won't let it happen again.
Even if I hurt me in the process.

One girl, one boy.
Totally different,
But very alike.
They find eachother.
They need eachother.
But not for love.
At least, not yet.

She feels guilty,
She flaked out.

He's ******.
But he'll accept it.

They'll figure it out.
Together.

I can't take back the things that I did,
But I sure as hell wish that I could.
If I could, just turn around and apologize.
And make everything better, I would.
If I could sweep memories away,
Make it as if it had never happened.
I'd probably do it everyday.

But this isn't a fantasy,
It's a very real reality.
I should stop crying.
Stop denying.
Disappear.
I won't.


Because it's impossible.