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129 · Mar 2019
Hot Day
JaxSpade Mar 2019
Energy fell to my side

While love cried
                        Pain

Taking me to my knees
        It dropped my faith

I died in the chalked outline
               On the asphalts face

It was hot day

And I melted into a fade
Of black and nothing to see
129 · Oct 2018
Ghost River
JaxSpade Oct 2018
He had no choice…
But to..

Get on the boat
Thus river here is a ghost
It flows on the blood of throats
Sit down and take note
Sometimes ya gotta slice through
A few cuts the knife knew
May save or **** you
This ****** current here
Flows like a dark wine rose
Petals in type O
Positive/\negative
Compatible
Everyone, gone this way
Some under the boat
Thus river here ya know
There is spirits here that float
In the Supernatural cloud
Allowed between each world
I didn't really want to get on this boat
Because i'm not the boating kind
But, we all gotta get on sometime
And paddle through
JaxSpade Apr 2020
Sittin on the curb
I put my head down
And I saw a few words

They were laying in the dry gutter
Someone must of lost them
When they tried to utter

         You I love

             Love you I

    I love you

These words I found
I arranged them in different arounds

I
  you
     love

No matter which way it comes
Sounds
           Good

I found these words
And I think ima give away some

If you put out your hand
I'll put mine in yours
And we could be love

I found these words
Sittin on the curb
And I was just hoping

You'd like to do one
128 · Jul 2019
Juliet
JaxSpade Jul 2019
What light through yonder window breaks?

My heart
128 · May 2019
The Readings In Reds Head
JaxSpade May 2019
She wrote in red letters
Perhaps it was better
Than what she spoke
Everthing I read
Was a whole lot better
Than the lilies
That never toil or spell
Consider the birds of the air
They never reap or sow
She wrote in red letters
Because the effort to talk
Was too burdensome for her mouth
She spilt a bucket of honey
And kept walking
For it was nothing of else
Anger for what thing
Should her blood boil
For a loss of some wealth
She wrote in red letters
While her tongue tied knots
But I heard verily what was said
When I read her books
That were pulled from the shelf
128 · Oct 2018
Scrapes
JaxSpade Oct 2018
Suffer says
You
Pain has a mission
To embed in the skin
Chosen to

You suffer
Says
The tears
Draped across your face
Pregnant with truth

Pain delivers your strength
With a test of how much can you take
When paying the dues

Says suffering you
Claims are made when the ouches
Band aid
And blood forms a scab
On the injury you

Suffer
128 · Mar 2020
Bone Dry
JaxSpade Mar 2020
I thought If I cried
It would help release
The feeling inside

I thought if I drained every last
Pain
Every last tear
Would dry

So I squeezed it all out of my mind
And every thing that remained
I cried

It left me dry
With desert eyes
And the vultures
Picked away at my sides

But I still felt the hard
As I begged for the vultures
To eat my heart

And they swallowed my pride

I thought If I cried
Mercy would somehow
Fall beside
My eyes

But the only thing that fell

Was I

Out of luck
And time
I wanted to wave goodbye

But there was no one there
To see me

Die
JaxSpade Jun 2020
Well the fishes swam...

                    You know
Those caramel turtles

I weighed a gram out

And you smoked the salmon
Or i should've said nuggets

Don't you know my heart aches
Every time i eat a milkyway

            I have type 2 diabetes
But i think about you anyway

Your like an abba zabba

    Well the fishes swam...
I love that peanut butter

I don't know
I guess now

Tuna sandwhiches
will have to do

The fishes swam
But you know

      I
Drowned
127 · Dec 2018
Fat Kid
JaxSpade Dec 2018
It wasn't chocolate
Or the skinny of waist
That melted in my mouth
And left sugar on my taste

Salivating

It wasn't the desire
Or the action taking

It was fate

That left me in candy
And smothered my face

I needed something to blame
On the falling of your dress
And the way your mouth dripped
Color on my lips
In kiss and paste

Gluing your body against my
Wanting to never seperate

It wasn't chocolate
Melting away
Or the skinny of waist
My hands felt
When I ate

I needed something to blame
When you came
And quivered in fate

I knew it wasn't chocolate
But it was cake
127 · Mar 2019
Cardiac Arrest
JaxSpade Mar 2019
Stopping by my heart
You said a few words
That beat when it pumped

It momentarily stopped
From the shock of your response

You wished it broken

Instead of CPR
You ripped it apart
While it was open

What did you want
When you stabbed it in the gut
After you'd spoken

Murmurs of innocent
You stopped by the disintegrate
To hear it thumping

It felt the attack
Arrested in cardiac
Now it never wants you to visit
127 · May 2020
Deciphering The News
JaxSpade May 2020
Walking along these streets
I hear the birds tweet

As people post what they think
I heard the news fake

And people take

            Seriously
False narratives
Continuously

I look over my back
And back my over

For every movement
At this point is covert

As I stride along
People and pawns

I check the mate
And take the queens arm

On this chessboard of war
For time and it's law

I've been walking along these streets
But maybe I should

Run
Wind in my hair
Through my skull
It blows
Faster than my face
Over the earths pull

The taste of speed
Every mile an hour
Delivers me
Away from slow

If there be a finish line
To start with a go

Walking or running

Perhaps these streets are coming
For a race of humans
Ability to know

What is real
JaxSpade Mar 2020
After midnight the frogs came
Croaking along the moon phase
Amoung the fireflies
Near the riverside

I laid

Staring at the skies lake
And all the stars above

The only thing we could make
Was love

After the rain came
The sun reigned
And all the trees greened
Amoung the sunshine
Near the love blind

I laid

Staring out her backside
Just they way I liked
By the fires eyes
It burned all night

And the only thing that we could make
Was love

After midnight
She ran for the hillside
She lost her slipper on the gong strike
And she ran away

I found her in the moonlight
And everything was alright

We laid
While all the forest creatures did the same

And the only thing that they could make
Was love
126 · Nov 2018
The Faith Of A Baby
JaxSpade Nov 2018
The aging man
Wipes his face
With clock hands
Another hour
Drips from his face

Every second ticks
And tocks minutes
While the sun and the moon
Revolve space

Each year he withers
And wrinkles form quicker
With every week that collects days

This aging man
Born into skin
Isn't really as old as he is

For when he dies
He'll open his eyes
To the kingdom his God
Promised him
126 · Nov 2019
Clock Wise
JaxSpade Nov 2019
I was rewinding the clock
All those ticks that talked
Trying to turn back time
But the hours climbed
And I ran out of months

Yesterday's laid in cemeteries
With flowers on their memories
But all of sudden today forgot

That for all the tomorrows
There would only be sorrows
For all the yesterday's lost
126 · Oct 2019
You're Not Alone
JaxSpade Oct 2019
So sad

Captured in sullen
Fractured
And crestfallen
Take my hand
You're not alone

Sometimes life
Can make you crawl

So sad

Captured in a moment
Broken
And despondent      
Take these arms
And hold them  
You're not alone

Sometimes life can
Break you down

So sad

Captured and disheartened
Crushed
And beaten
Take my love
Wrap it around you
You're not alone

Sometimes life can
Be too hard

So sad

Captured and disconsolate
Damaged and meloncholy
Take my shoulders
And lean on em'
You're not alone

Sometimes life is
Lachrymose
126 · May 2019
Nothing For Good
JaxSpade May 2019
The odd shadows
Of a dim neighborhood
Filled with broken windows
And stolen goods

I left my heart on the table
It was gone
But my wallet was still there
I had already emptied it

So i was forced to sell my soul
The devil didn't want it
And my God just ignored

I tried peddling it on the darkened streets
On every corner where they hustle
It wasn't worth much
And I was only asking for a nickel

Behind the shadows
Under the beckoning cloak
I see the the theives wandering
Around the world

They've taken everything from me
But left me my soul
I couldn't pawn its value
Or sell the *****

So i walk this timeline
With nothing else
But a worthless soul
That never sells
126 · Dec 2018
Colorforms
JaxSpade Dec 2018
What do you believe in
Said a man
As he pondered his thoughts with crayons

Coloring like a kid
The pages of what he cannot understand

He said he believed in nothing
That this world came from man
And the history of evidence
Wasn't enough for him

Every one believes in something
Who created our hands
Father and Mother
From who created them

It's not rocket science
Reproduction since when
For who created the big bang
And who colored them

What do you believe in
Said a man
Drowing in his denial
In the quickest of sand

The battle in his head
The answer in his land
He refuses to believe the Truth
That born the plan

A man said
You believe in
Where you stand

For it is the foundation
Of where you'll end
125 · Sep 2018
Dark Horse
JaxSpade Sep 2018
It was a cold burn
Piercing through flesh
The temperature shivered
With cold breaths

It was an aberration
Of happenstance
A bullet abject abstruse
Yet adamant

The harrowing set
Was a scene set furtive
Said grandiloquent

It was a smoking gun
From a hypochondriac
Speaking exorbitant words
In hopes to exonerate
Explicitness flagrant

In a sanctuary city

Facilitating fait accompli
A Blase' bureaucracy
Brusque and dernier cri

It was a deleterious empirical
Fight for a miracle

Shown as a harbinger

With all disregard
Hoist with one's own petard
125 · Jun 2020
Brand New On Sale Now!
JaxSpade Jun 2020
There is nothing new
Under the Sun
History repeats
I repeat this once again

Under the Sun
There is nothing new
Until heaven

We continue the same patterns
When we think we've created new ones

There is nothing knew
Under the Sun
That isn't shown
Until it does

History will repeat
Like we are told it would

But we still act surprised
When it happens all the time

Every year
125 · Nov 2019
It's how we learn (10w)
JaxSpade Nov 2019
I fail read backwards is "life" misspelled due to failure
125 · Aug 2018
Without Friends
JaxSpade Aug 2018
Red Green Horizons
The speed of driving
As wind blows over my shaved head
          I ignore the sirens
Because I am not violent
        But I guessed again
Now I am wanted
         Not by a girl
                        But by men
Because I shot the Sheriff
      With the deputys gun

I couldn't afford to be good

So I became the cowboy
         With a wanted face
Posted on every poster
On every Saloon
                 In every state
Riding on my steel horse
While the news watches the chase
I knew I would be famous
   But maybe not this way

It doesn't really matter
                         Anyway

Because I'm full throttle
        Drinking on a bottle

And I'm gettin away

But I'm not riding a Harley
I bought an Indian instead

I'm no longer law-abiding
                         Or a citizen
I'm an outlaw fighting
For another way to live

              Blue lives scattered
They mattered only to death
And I was on my way

To being a better man

             Red green horizons
                                   Drivin'

One hundred and six

Just a few more miles
              And I'll be set
In the sun rising
Without any debt

I'm a ghost rider
                    Hero

In a world without a friend
124 · Oct 2018
Event Horizon
JaxSpade Oct 2018
Hanging by a thread
Waiting for that break
You know you'll fall
With increased weight

Hanging
By a thread
Looking at the end
As you lose grip
And faith

You fall

But there is no ground
To catch your fate
You keep falling
Into the black hole
Of your mental state

In this fabric of space
Your gravity is pulled
Through the emptiness

Falling without any floor
You wanted more
Than you could take

This is you

And you're nothing
More than a fleshy face
Hanging by a thread
Between life and death
As you draw each breath

And wait

Somewhere in this deep
Your name awaits
To be called by the only one
Who knows what's Great

And as you remain in your number
You fear and wonder
Why you were made

Hanging by a thread
You lose your grip
Over
    and over again

Then it breaks

And there is nothing to reach for
Except the Law

Which takes

Your gravity
Into a super massive black hole
With enormous power
To erase

It is there
Where you'll find true hapiness

Where you cease to exist

From what you were made
123 · May 2019
tiPsY
JaxSpade May 2019
I was up last night
Tilting back a glass of whiskey

My thoughts keep pouring
And my eyes drooped with me

Ti
         p
             sy

I emptied the bottle
With countless swallows
To destroy memories


But what I really needed was
Another bottle
123 · Dec 2019
Shooting Star
JaxSpade Dec 2019
The stars won't shine tonight

One is gonna fall
One is going to burn into the night

Ice cold
Shooting star

Leaving us

Thank you
For visiting the universe

We loved your shine
But we know

You were just a meteoroid
123 · Sep 2018
The quiet library
JaxSpade Sep 2018
Silent awkwardness
The room was so ******
Silence penetrated deep
                Into exhaustion
It was such a pain
   Wanting it again

It screamed

Silence an akward
     Quiet  
                Equivocal
Esoteric individual

Banging at the walls
In his head with scribbles
  Writing down the visuals

Silently the invisible noise
Crept into existence by choice
               Of the inevitable voice
Cutting through the silence

     Hurting so good
And begging for more
123 · May 2019
The changes of mind
JaxSpade May 2019
There has been a change in the environment
surroundings changed
The atmospheric requirements
We used to breathe the desired oxygen
And exahale the carbon dioxide
Elements
There has been a change
And your flesh remains
The excrement
Waste of time and space
Begging for mercy and grace
You have been replaced
From dust back to dust
Lacking any more energy

How could I escape this place
Through the windows
Out the door
Driving a car real fast

How can I escape
The rate of the worlds decline
And my patience to take
What other men have designed
How could I break away
From the bars that incarcerate
The minds right and wrong
Freedom to participate

I feel like I've lost my mind
But it was my mind that lost me
And now I found out          
It cost me more than I could pay

Slow descent
Into the measurement
And what the measure meant
A metaphysical question
Answered in a numerical
One -through ten
On that scale of how much
Do you believe in your creation
And where you came from
To where you are going
When this all ends

We backtrack and note
Where we've been
Snap photos
Collect mementos
That we'll all leave behind to our friends
Which heaven which God
Which devil will you befriend
When you ascend into the inevitable    
Otherside and discard your skin
Where will all of our brethren
Gather and perform good deeds
Or will those deeds be bad instead
As you calculate this all in your head
And ignore the truth you should have read
This is one thing we know for sure that has been
You are accountable for the life you have lived
And you better believe what you achieved
In knowledge will be the make of your bed
122 · Oct 2019
I Need Your Smile
JaxSpade Oct 2019
Smile
Save me from
Desolation
Cure my desperation
Despoil my sadness
And take away the world

Smile
Love me
Like a mother does a child
Put your arms around me
And hold me still

I need a smile
To change the way I feel

Doleful and funereal
Crestfallen and miserable

Smile
Save me from from
Myself

I need you more than anyone else

Smile
Could you love me somehow
And save me from my woes

Take away morose
And my heart that's broke

Smile
Could you give me some hope
So I could cope

I need your love
                      Smile
Smile
I need your love
122 · Jun 2020
In The Eye Of The Bull
JaxSpade Jun 2020
The bullseye
Why

Could you focus on the center
And hit the target
Where you mentor

Hitting the right spot

On target
In the bullseyes
Nards

The bullseye
Why

Because if you could hit the center
In one try
You have the right sight
To see clearer than most eyes

You are a leader
Because you can the hit target
Better than the other seekers

Focus is a natural hocus pocus
Concentration guiding an object
To the center of a targets invitation

Most hope
But some know how
To place it

To hit the bullseye
To be right on target
To be in control of the focus

On the eye of the bull

                   Why
Because I could
122 · Oct 2018
Cloaked With A Dagger
JaxSpade Oct 2018
The darkness pulls down her eyes
It wraps around her heart with thorns
And crys wicked knives

Piercing through the thrusts
That stabbed her life
She bleeds inside
A victim of the night

She sat down on the jack O lanterns porch
Staring at the torch
Inside him flicker

This was the only light
Shining in a goblins bite
Yet the darkness kept pulling down her eyes

It was quicker
Than her sight
And cloaked with a dagger
Penetrating fright

Slicing at the throat of candle
She shivered down her spine
And as her mind grew sicker
The darkness grew bigger
Than the flame that melted in the fire

She was blind
And her eyes bled the sight
That the darkness pulled down
In her desires
122 · Oct 2018
The Uncommon Comma
JaxSpade Oct 2018
Cold stones cobbled
Under barefoots broom
Feet flowed like a river toward the Unknown
In the midst
In the prairie
In the valley
In the shadows
In the ghettos
In the rolling hills
In the meadows
Under our feet
The earth Quaked
Willing then on the walls wrote
Gliphs
         Notes
Hopes
           Scopes
Writs and gnosis
Glowing under nose
Third eyes are open
Closed between the temples souls Heaven hells
They already know what is gold
And diamonds and emeralds
Their meaning encrusted
Embedded in the wealthy chose
Cold stones
Cobbled under barefoots nose
Running like a steam train
Getting outta town
In the tracks of mind
In the backs of time
On the curbs and banks of rewind
Knowledge grows
Into another language and dimension Timed
Hurry up or no
Fast is slow
24 hours 24 minutes 24 seconds
24 tenths of a second
In the streets
In the buildings
In the houses
On the roofs and ceilings
Under our feet
Under our soles
Trampling cobbles
And cold stones
Floating down the river
Driving down the road
In the universe of glitter
My brain flows a crow
Who says old
Is better than you'll ever be told
121 · Jan 2019
Trigger Happy
JaxSpade Jan 2019
I pulled the trigger on living
The bullet entered my brain as a baby
I entered this world crazy
Misbehaving and curiously drivin'
I couldn't understand
The gun in my hand
And what I was doing
The big bang evoluted
And every thing I constituted
Colluded with the world
And life concluded
In the days and years of revolutions
I've been spinning around
And round since the decision
From the incision of the womb
Which brought me into this mission
I've tried to listen and be a christian
While death stalks me and mocks me
For my belief in Jesus
I've pulled the trigger on living
Because the next life I'll be in a kingdom
And all my sins of this world will be forgiven
121 · Aug 2018
Die Array
JaxSpade Aug 2018
Disappearing in a paper forest
I'm not coming out for weeks
I'm building a fire
With paper trees

And I'm compressing a diary
                                      To read

To remind of these weeks
                       I disappeared

Where I was a ghost
                         Writing

  I don't need anybody
I don't want someone
To disappoint my peace

So I'm disappearing
             In a paper forest
       Don't you follow me

      I'm building a fire
So I can burn my ink
And all of my desires
            I wrote to read

They are disappearing
                          With me

              I don't need anybody
Because they don't need me

I'll just roam this forest
                            Invisibly

I've burned my pen
          And my head
                         In boiling ink

And when I come out of this forest
                                        I wont be me
120 · Aug 2018
What's cookin' Good Lookin'
JaxSpade Aug 2018
Love is
Pork chops and apple sauce
Corn bread and honey spread

Your legs

I found lovin
Inside the oven
    With spices
Warmed good

I don't need to be angry
                         Anymore
Because I've found my source
                              Of love here
            Inside your house

And I'm ready for dessert

                          Cherry pie
With whipped cream eyes
I found love inside
          Your private
                      Parts

                 Love is

   A womans thighs
Cooking for the guy
    Who eats her pie

    And hungers her
120 · Jan 2019
Drinking & Driving
JaxSpade Jan 2019
Lost in the highways lights
Driving town to town
Dropping off the pieces of time
That make memories

Sometimes the lights
Get blurry
And the lines fade away
And you forget what highway your on
And which lane
Your supposed to be in





Laughing
Coughing
Drinking wine

Lost in the highways lights
Shining in your eyes
Driving yourself crazy
While swerving into time

You look for the exit
You're supposed to find
And you just keep driving on

For miles
120 · Oct 2019
The Steering Will
JaxSpade Oct 2019
It was one of those car rides
Windows down
And the wind blows moribund

As you beg for the cliff
On the edge of your prerogative
You wish you could crash
To ecape your roguish metamorphosis

What ever happened to that old you
You never used to drive with such turpitude

You used to hug those curves
And sing with the radio
Smiling with your eyes fastidious in stereo

It was one those rides
With redolent flowers on the countryside

You pulled into the rest stop
To tilt your head back
And regain your consciousness

It was one of those rides
When you decide

I shouldn't be driving like this
120 · Oct 2018
Sun of a cloud
JaxSpade Oct 2018
Sitting here in waste
I've been thinking about the days
And how the sun shined on your face

Those beautiful rays
Of nature kiss the place
That I did for days

Until you changed into a dark cloud
Of thunder and rain

I drowned in the pouring
Of once was
Never again

A stormy puddle
Of mud and sad
With strikes of lightning overhead
Those days I'd like to forget

I like to remember the Sun
In your eyes
When they looked at me
Before love vaporized
And disintegrated
Over my bed

Weather or not
I could forget those clouds
I like to remember
Those days found
Before the sun burned out
120 · Aug 2019
This is Our Last Goodbye
JaxSpade Aug 2019
I see you huddled in darkness
Hiding away from the world

You've created a space
To crawl into an escape
Cloaked in an imaginary cold

I see you shivering
And shaking
With goose bumps
Gnawing at your soul

I couldn't peel you away
From the shadows
Or lift you from the floor

You were glued to the madness
That took over your control
And I saw you fall into the deepest
Darkest hole

Into that abyss
That consists of a never-ending fall

You tied a rope
Around your throat
With the hope
To end it all

And that was the last time
I saw you
Hanging
At the edge of the world
119 · Jun 2020
I Died
JaxSpade Jun 2020
I died
And I cried
Life was so fuct

Why did I live it so long

The past
Gone

Now I'll be judged

Because I was
So wrong

To live
And be human

I died
But the blame will live on

Perhaps it could take my place
In heaven

I died
Because I didn't want a new life

To ***** up
119 · Sep 2019
The Diary Of A Sextant
JaxSpade Sep 2019
The same old constellations
Hanging in the sky

The same old noose
Beckoning tight

The squeeze
       The night
Flickering twinkles
         Up to my knife

My neck
Slides across the edge
As my breath dies
Spinning upside
In the galaxies head
I see stars kite

But I'm running out of time

      The end
Is nigh
In the blackened sky
Where the constellations
Hang their bright

The same old constellations
Used in navigation
Hang on the noose of life

These celestial bodies hang
As I dangle mine
118 · Nov 2019
I'm in love with an arrow
JaxSpade Nov 2019
Arrow in my heart
I'm not living

And I'm giving away my hope
If someone should take it
I think it's broke

Hearted

The arrow darted
A few days ago

I saw it come
But I couldn't run

Against Father time
I'm just too slow

Arrow in my heart
Is the knife to my throat
Slitting me in half
Hanging me
Till the end of rope

I'm giving away my status
As the apparatus
For the joke

It was on me
My fantasy was hope
And I gave that away
As I broke

Hearted
The arrow wanted
Me more than the world

And In my heart
My lovers target
Has hit the bull
118 · Feb 2019
Near The Fireside
JaxSpade Feb 2019
I lit a fire
In the nights iris

And upon a star
I cast a thought

I
wished

It burned in the flames
Of the atomspheric change
While the temperature rained
My sweat

Into the ashes
My dust to dust went

For my oxygen lost the wind
As I melted in flesh

I lit the fire
But it was my desire
That conspired
With my lust

Witch tempted me
To jump in
Gasoline
And burn what I was
117 · Mar 2020
Stay Home You Sicc Mofos!
JaxSpade Mar 2020
Am I supposed to write about the virus
Staying home Quarantine
Washing my hands

When I
Took a walk in the park
I was keeping my distance
And this girl appeared
Right in my front

She said "are you worried about
The Wuhan
I told her if I was the virus
she'd just been infected with a new one

She said she loved injections

I told her I was a doctor
And i could give her one
If she'd just be patient

My patient

Some girl in the park
Short skirt mini top
And a great conversationalist

~Then I coughed....

I realized the democrats
Must have sent this beeyootch

She probably drinks andrenochrome
For all I know
She was sent to infect
Me with some COVID *** foam
At my mouth
How many weeks does it take
To get it out

Am I supposed to write about the virus
When I should have stayed home
Washing my hands


I went to the park
And Now I'm dead
117 · Apr 2020
The Door That Won't Open
JaxSpade Apr 2020
Tryna shake me up

I'm on the faultline
Pointing my finger at someone else

Is this a tight rope
Or a noosed throat
I felt the earth quake
And it shook me up

I keep blaming the weather
I thought climate change would sell better

Perhaps a virus
Or a swarm of locusts
How about a few more warning signs
For me to believe in the hocus pocus

I need someone to explain
The birth pains
Because I've always wanted to
But I never came

To church

To and fro they'll search
Just like the prophesy said
But you never learned

You were left
On the outside of the ark
When you saw the rain

But you waited and procrastinated
And it was all too late

The door had closed

And you drowned in the death
You paid to the wage

That cost yourself
117 · May 2020
Who's Counting?
JaxSpade May 2020
The hours track my count
They watch me fulfill the clock

All the gong strikes
Fallen upon my bout

How many more rounds
Before I win
Or get knocked out

My energy tracks my strength
How much is left
How much more can I take

The calendar tracks my days
It watches me waste
All the years fly
Faster than the blue
In the sky
Paints

And as time cries
Her goodbyes
Memories fade and die
Eventually we all
Get x's in our eyes

All we can do
Is enjoy the ride
Kick back
And follow life
God
How much more daze
Do I got
How many more suns
Will my shoes
Travel on

As my destiny counts my fate
I grow into an old age
And my youth counts my aches
How many more pains
Could a man own today

All I can do is pray
Somewhere there is a heaven
Waiting for my face

I'm getting closer
The distance counted my measure

And I'm close to the treasure

But I
Still

Have to get there

No matter how long
                    It takes
117 · Oct 2018
Cow Bells
JaxSpade Oct 2018
I took a step back
To come forward
And I turned around
And saw how weird
I was in my tracks

Moving onward
With my memories
Slaughtered
I raise a new calf
To be mothered
An alternative to beef
Because I can't eat pets

I see the same odd steps
Looking back at the pattern I left
The same me winding in a different mindset
Yet the same tracks

Perhaps changing my shoes
Could walk through a changed past
Altering the same man
Who was better than the last

I step back in the tracks
And walk toward the old path
How peculiar they set in the regret
Of each memory stepped past

I hear the cow bells clang
Ringing the song I sang
As a child before I knew how to dance

How clumsy my feet
To the tracks of weird beats
I felt odd
And didn't know what to do with my hands

I took a step back
Then forward
And twirled my lover
Toward the ballrooms band
As I took the lead
She took my hand
And the song climbed
Where we ran
Toward the same steps
I traced with crayons

These feet could walk
Different streets
And slide across various beats
To equal the same math

It is all futile each track
Song or step in the pasture
Where the cows graze on each path
Taking steps forward and back
Turning around repeating
What thou hath
Learned

A new dance
116 · Jun 2019
Under the stage
JaxSpade Jun 2019
A soft said
in a voice calm enough
To put you to bed

My love"

whispers crept
across my neck
With her tip toeing lips
Leaving red tracks on my skin

Embedded in a kiss
We dipped into the middle of the nights
Sweat
Panting and drips
Of sticky yes
Moaned while her tongue bit
Deeper into my flesh

My love"

In my ears
She chants
Every thing i want to hear
She does
What I ask
And In my ears
The softest laugh
The way she looks at me back
Playing my ears
Like a harp
Those magical fingers
Strumming my back

How could i not fall
Into this trap

Luring me with the love
I've always wanted
Teasing me with the allure of satisfaction
and what our bodies attracted

I'm  
falling through your trap door

you caught me
116 · Apr 2020
Day Dream
JaxSpade Apr 2020
Day dream

Up
Away

Butterfly
    Wings

Honey so sweet

Day dream
I can taste your lips

And I think
I'm dreaming

Up
Away

Butterfly
    Wings

Just what I'm thinking
When I saw you

Daydream
I'm asleep

Yet I'm awake

          Anyway

I
Think
  I'm

   Dreaming
Short Song
116 · Jun 2020
Mirage
JaxSpade Jun 2020
I'm seeing polka dots when I close my eyes.

Darkness holding each dot in place.

No colors.

White on Black together complementing existence.

When I open my eyes, there are no polka dots but I'm seeing the same thing.

They keep telling me what I see is impossible.
115 · Jun 2019
My Past Guest
JaxSpade Jun 2019
The past
passed

After it dragged
And dragged

My body
Pulled by the rope of tomorrows

Pulled me through all kinds of towns
And different scenarios

The past
Passed

And everything that was...

Had

The future  had the last laugh
That began with my embryo

Ever since that first day
The past left me behind
After it tied me to tomorrow

And it dragged  me through the mud
Mangling my body
and spilling my blood
Breaking my bones
And carving out the marrow

The past
Passed

I had wondered
How long it'd last

It stayed

Until the passed
Past

Was gone
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