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146 · Dec 2018
(-.--)凸
JaxSpade Dec 2018
Don't fucc around
                They said

These weren't words from my pastor
Written in red

But the message was there

                 If you fucc around
You eventually get fuct yourself

Middle fingers and knuckles
SLinging

Sayin fucc the world

The world said fucc you back!

And said"
?who the fucc are you

D'ont fucc around

       Listen or learn
How to behave yourself

Because Mr.Hardway
Is always in town
Lookin for men

Who fucc around
146 · Oct 2018
Revolver Door
JaxSpade Oct 2018
The exit sign
Glowing green and entering light
Out of the time
The revolver had stopped
Into the mind
He had to shoot
The clock
Dropping his hands
Walking through
The exit sign
No more second
Tocks
He takes off his watch
And stares into his thoughts
Thinking about whats next
When he walks through the door
Under the exit sign
He stands clenching the ****
Waiting to turn
He could end the time
If he could only find the nerve
146 · May 2019
Golf Pants
JaxSpade May 2019
This isn't your style
But your here for a while
Wondering what it looks like
From a different side
Its like an extra pair of eyes
Seeing things in a different light of life
Shine
Words
Rhymes
Signs
Time
This isn't your style or mine
Dropped and cropped into a box
That fits a profile with pixels of dots
Connecting minds thoughts
Choppped
Diced
Cut
Sliced
And propped into an organizational plot
In theory the hypothesis is right and wrong
And each difference to each other ethically aesthetically formed
An axiological worth of value consisting the sum of a mathimatical rigour
Interactionism
Phenomenolgy
Verstehen
Philosophical verses
versus
Dictionaries and thesauruses versions
Of explorers excursions
What are you reading
And are you understanding
The paragraph and sentences of the courses
This isn't your style
I know this
But I hold this
Poetical knife to your throat
With the intent to cut it
Open
Mind
Eyes
Palms
Heart

Ears

LIFE
143 · Aug 2018
Pans Door
JaxSpade Aug 2018
I found it on bottom of a box
It looked like a bird of solid rock
As a dove flew by
Resembling the look
It dropped an olive branch
On my Ark
I was floating my boat
In the depths of hope
I knew I should have kept the box closed

But I looked
143 · May 2020
Sorry
JaxSpade May 2020
I didn't mean to be me

It happened so fast
It was hard to see

Me

Trying to be

I didn't mean anything
I was ignorant
Explaining things

I didn't mean
To be

Me

I was born with this image
I try to distinguish
But

I didn't mean it

I

Didn't mean
To be me

Maybe I should
Leave

Because
I didn't mean





To be here
142 · May 2019
Under Pressure
JaxSpade May 2019
The Word spoke
             Diamonds
In gold covered iron
While steel hearts forged
In verbal presses and pyrite
I molded
A cast
Formed
Of the past  
thrown
In the back
Of my head cracked
In fire




I was shaped
A Metallic face
Encrusted with fate
That someday
I would be magnetic enough
To attract a mate

Ore maybe I'm not iron
Enough
To steel a heart
No matter what the word said
About populating earth
Filled with carbon and coal

For how much pressure does it take
For a diamond to show fate
Before it gets too old
To shine brilliance
On the face of this world
142 · Aug 2018
The search for someday
JaxSpade Aug 2018
Funny how someday Never Comes

     Yet we Chase scurry and run
All of these days
                            Waiting on one
All of those yesterday's
  Following tommorows
Looking down on the cities
             From a far away off

Chasing down one day
          In the future lost
That one day
That's better than any
          That have come

The sun searches in circles
         The moon follows her
Looking on earth
Orbiting existence
Of everything born

Except that one day
         Never created

Never made at all

That glorious day you imagined
                  That never will come
Chasing it down
Like a lion does
Hunting her down
Spinning around
Watching the calendar wall
    Looking for that one day
                  In another dawn
That precious day
On the outskirts of none

     That one day
You're the bomb
Exploding in your own fascination
                           Overfilled with joy
That one day you dreamed of
      Living in a different world
The one that's supposed to be yours

      That wondrous day
Where there is no story
Because it never comes

That one day
You keep hoping someday
                             Will come

It never does
142 · May 2020
The Picture She Sent
JaxSpade May 2020
She sent her picture on purpose
She knew I'd stare at it
And worship

She was always
An angel in my eyes
Even though she wasn't
She tried to be perfect

She said a few lies
When she sent a picture of her thighs
No lie
They were open

Wide

Was her smile
She sent it with sparkles
In those filters I like
Man I wish I could trust her lies

I know she's an angel
But not from heaven above

She sent me her picture
So I could reminisce
About when I used to be with her

Staring at her face
I remember how I used to kiss her
And rub against her texture

The way she smells
Feels
Melts
At certain temperatures

I remember that right spot
And the way she shakes
When I make her erupt

I know how much is enough
When we make love

She sent me this picture
So I would remember
How I used to eater
And lick her

She was always
My babydoll
In the midnight
When I would
Call her over
For a time
To remember

How we used to picture
Love
141 · Feb 2020
Our Attempts of Faith
JaxSpade Feb 2020
Is it so hard to love
To give
More than enough
To live for
God

Is it so hard
To believe
You were bought
So you could willingly slave for the Lord
And reprogram your robot

You were a thought
God sought
For his army of justice

Yeah
It's just us

Is it so hard to love your neighbor
Love your enemies
And labor for the love

Yes
It is

So hard

When you're flesh and human

To love
The habitat
That manufacturers demons

After the Good
Went bad
We became Man
And Woman

Now
it's so hard to love
When it's so much easier

To give up
141 · Jan 2019
em' daggers
JaxSpade Jan 2019
Her lips were the dagger
That ripped through the stagger
Of my bleeding heart

When she dug them deep
Inbetween the beats
I could feel the pain
Pierce through me sharp

And in her voice
I heard the choice
To swing her sword
And cut me down once more

Grasping at the last piece left
She wanted to take her daggers
And stab the last bit

Her lips were a dagger
And she was the baddest habit
That everyone wanted to have it

When she kissed me I was on another planet
And after that I kissed her back
And stabbed her with something a little bit shorter

We were like jack rabits multiplying
Our ****** attractants
With satisfactions vibrating
At the rate of *******

I kissed her lips and she stabbed them
With the passion of never giving them back
By sticking daggers in em'
141 · Apr 2020
Drop Dead Gorgeous
JaxSpade Apr 2020
°I drowned in her eyes

She took my breath
And there was nothing left

For lungs°

She cut me with her lips
Stabbing my heart with her kiss

Yes!

She was gorgeous
Dropped dead

I noticed this ~
Wasn't going to be easy
141 · Aug 2019
The Woman Who Knows
JaxSpade Aug 2019
What would you desire
My hands kissing your back

What would you die for
My lips begging between your legs

If I could shake you
In goosebumps & throws

If I could make you an ******* rose

What would you desire
Under your nose

If I could love the flesh you grow

My beard scratching your breast
Your softness embedded in my bold

What could we be
If you wanted more

Than my poem
JaxSpade Jun 2020
It wasn't black
That couldn't breath
Under the knee
Of the law

What we saw
Wasn't black
It was a man

Choked out

It wasn't a white cop

It was a cop
That knew no love

We blame it on color
Instead of each other
The stats know

It's a fact
Evil lives in whites and blacks
It doesn't care where you came from

As long as your mad

And it will take that angry
And riot a whole mob

It's hate
That murders and rapes
Every good thing we shape

Whites and black
Were starting to get along great
Till the Democrats divided us
Listening to the news fake

People are irritate
Tearing down their own state
When they haven't recognized
Who the enemy is
In their face

We find the gullible
Finally awake

But the question is Now
Is it too late
140 · May 2020
Here I Come
JaxSpade May 2020
I'm a disaster
Life has been hard to master
I've taken quite a few beatings
And still manage some laughter

Even though I'm a wreck
I've got an attitude like shrek
A face of an ogre
And a princess
That complains about it

Yeah
I'm a disaster
I'm the math of the after
When it was all too late
To create something better than
Actual

According to my calculations
There was a malfunction
In my creation
They forgot to implant
Obedience and cooperation
And installed complaining
Instead

They looked inside my head
And said
They need to rewire the whole mess
Because i should be agreeing
With everything

they say

I'm a disaster
I'm damaged
No good
A maniacal
Human imposter

I searched my thoughts then
It's not what i wanted
But maybe i am
The diaster they called me

             Well...


here I come
140 · Oct 2018
Cross Hairs
JaxSpade Oct 2018
I didn't know it was loaded



Bullets



                         Floated




speed was a hot wind




                      I didn't  know of





Smokey chambers




In the grip of love




                      No one could handle your
                                 Loaded gun
139 · Aug 2019
The Way I'm
JaxSpade Aug 2019
If I could detach my mind
From the way I'm
I wouldn't need any
Body
I wouldn't need any arms
Around a me
If I could separate the space
In time
I touch with mine
A face without eyes
I could see where I'm facing
If I could be blind
From the way I'm
I wouldn't need recognition
I wouldn't need to hide
I wouldn't need any body
For any one
If I could detach my mind
From the way I'm
I could be so free
And It wouldn't cost a thing
I wouldn't need a mirror
Or a scale to weigh my error
If I could disappear
You wouldn't know the way
I'm

Here
139 · Oct 2018
Say cheese
JaxSpade Oct 2018
Faking a smile
While on the inside
You're upside down
In denial
               Thinking about
                       Your name
And how it ended up
                         Pained
      Inside out

In the wild

How much longer
Will fake hold out
Before we see the truth
About what we know now

It really isn't a smile at all

             Your eyes don't lie
   For they have no mouth
But they told me to read their lips
                              Upon each brow
Under each side
On the outside
                           I peer out
Into your skin
Behind your cheeks
I found the real smile

                      But it's gone now

Faking a smile
Is much easier
Than letting the whole world know
Your trials
Your self killing
Behind the heart willing
Hangs on a ropes doubt

No one will ever know
                 Or figure out

As long as you can fake
             Each of the days
            Your mind allows

You can smile
139 · Jun 2019
The Social Of Media
JaxSpade Jun 2019
I thought she would want to know me

A few words in the inbox
Showed me
I was just a thought

Its no wonder I'm lonely
some say im damaged goods
But i only wanted a chance
To be more than

Anyone would

Want

I thought she'd ask
What i looked like
So i could disappoint
The spotlight

Loneliness is ugly
And that's why
My inbox has no life
To live in her eyes

I thought she would want to know me
If i only looked liked an emoji
She would have told me
About herself
138 · Apr 2019
Critique
JaxSpade Apr 2019
An Artist
Suffers
the hardest
Work
Pumping colors
Through his
                  And others
Look

At the way he brushes
The rivers brook

The flow of water
In rainbows colored
Gobbledygook

He rides his unicorn
Palet in arm
In a pink suit of velvet
And metaphors

But he suffers the hardest
As the artist of
Ridicule
138 · Jan 2019
Wasted on ifs
JaxSpade Jan 2019
If I could die
Would I be alive
Or gone

If I could live
Would it be like this
Or not

If I could dream
Of a better peace
What would it be

If I could understand God
Could I be a man
Without one
JaxSpade Sep 2019
God says to me with kind of a smile,
"Hey how would you like to be God awhile
And steer the world?"
"Okay," says I, "I'll give it a try.
Where do I set?
How much do I get?
What time is lunch?
When can I quit?"
Gimme back that wheel," says God,
"I don't think you're quite ready yet"
By Shel Silverstein A light in the attic
137 · May 2020
Catching zzz's
JaxSpade May 2020
I just wanted some sleep
You know
A few hours of shut eye

Where I could escape
The reality I face
Everytime I awake
To my life

I just needed some rest
From occupying the stress
That's left for me to acquire

So I can accomplish the tasks
That I have
With the energy left

I needed some more rest
Dyer
Catch me in a phrase
Of zz's
As I fall
To a sleep
That can't make me awake
To escape
The peace
Rest me in the after
Where my dream
Is real and the laughter
Is filled in the atmosphere
I used to breath
137 · Jun 2020
It's all about who you know
JaxSpade Jun 2020
My name is Hate
I reside in men

And I come In any color blend

I am thee
        deadliest
                  Sin
You know me
My name is Hate

         I'll slit your throat
And spit on your grave

I corrode every container
                          I'm left in
          I reside in men
I can create a habitat
In any culture

And destroy them

My name is Hate
                I know
          You know me

You know who I am
And where I live

Sometimes I crash out at your crib
I've yelled at your wife and kids

When you made me the boss
After the love you had was lost

But you know
No matter what
I'll always be yer dawg

My name is Hate
And I can relate to everyone

Except One

His name is
          Jesus
136 · May 2020
Slow Ride
JaxSpade May 2020
It's a slow
Slide
Down
The arrow s
Heart

Where your soul pumps blood
Near the knife
she left inside

There's no need for you to cry
For no pain
Can ever take away

Her eyes

And there's no way
To change the blue
To sky

When your world has said goodbye

It's a slow
Slide
Down
The hurt

Sometimes the pain
Is so much

You can't feel at all

You suffer
Yourself

Down the slide
Of the lonely
lost

Deep inside your
Clusterf#!$k

You find..
     your thoughts
136 · Jul 2019
% Of Inflation
JaxSpade Jul 2019
In my lap
Milk in a saucer
I'm the cat
That killed curiosity
Before it could attack

In my head
Board in my bed
Knocking against the walls
Nothing to do
But fall to sleep
I'd rather dream
Than fiend for something
That'll never be
In my hands

In my brain
My soul complains
It's trapped
In the flesh of my heart
Aches

It begs for a heaven
But hell if it knows
Where that is

In my end
It begins
To create
A lifes death
So it could live

I turn on the dark
So I could see the light
Switch

And the root of all money
Scratches my palms funny
For the price of evil
Only costs a man
136 · Jul 2019
Mania
JaxSpade Jul 2019
We are all crazy
                   hear
                    Voices
In my head
Im not here
             Rings in my ears
My friend
Is a whisper
And said
    Mister
We're all crazy
We've gone completely
                                Mad
Sense is not so common
For man
It's crazy
     Hear
       Voices
In my closet
Under my bed
In my head
Their hands
Finger my sense
My best friend
Whispers again
And my brain
  Is cognitive
Yet impaired
We're all crazy
Or at least
          I am
Crazy
        Hear
          Voices
In my head
Susurrating
        Further
Uttering murmurs
And I can't comprehend
Why they're here
We're all crazy
                 Hear
Voices in my head
JaxSpade Dec 2019
Waiting for the world to happen
There's a whole lot of distant staring

A cold fog galavants around town
And thickens in the glaring

The glass of my eyes crack
As the world looks back
And asks
Where I am going

But I couldn't reply
Because of my
Lack of
Knowing

I'm just waiting for the world to happen
I hear its going to end in some dramatic fashion
Yeah I've lost my passion
And everything I write deserves a trash can

There's a whole lot of distant staring
And a whole lot of prayers for someone caring

I hear there's hope in the end
If I just pretend
There's a god out there
To help me with the coping

Yeah I wish I was joking
While I'm waiting for the world to happen
I was hoping I could hold your hand and
Disappear in the moment passing

I know I sound creepy
To want a woman who needs me
Because without one I feel myself weaken
I'm like the last of the mohicans
Hoping to last longer than this weekend

Waiting for the world to happen
I wish I could be like everybody else laughing
As the world revolves
I resolve to just forget about it all
While I'm photographin'

Waiting for the world to happen
135 · Jan 2019
Gin&Tonic
JaxSpade Jan 2019
She was inside a bottle
Of Tanqueray
Mixing in a variety
Of lingerie
I was holding her in my hands
Looking through the glass
I saw her dancing
I couldn't help but stare
At her body in the bubbly
She was so ******
A mixture of gin and tonic
I captured in a bottle
134 · Oct 2018
Disposable Hearts
JaxSpade Oct 2018
DISPOSABLE HEARTS COMING SOON!

We believe transplants are the cure
Heart attacks and heartbreaks

DISPOSABLE HEARTS COMING SOON!

They are brand new
At this rate brother I'm getting two

DISPOSABLE HEARTS COMING SOON!

Discard after use
133 · Sep 2018
In The Park
JaxSpade Sep 2018
One of those shady trees
In the park
We could lay
Under
         And be cool
Because we don't need to sweat
                        Till there is moon

One of those shady trees
In the green of grass
We could lay together
      Just the two of us

And be cool

Under the sunny afternoon
      In the heat of the spark
Let's find one of those shady trees
                                        In the park
         And fall asleep
In each others arms
             And be cool

We could lay together all day
                   Till there is moon
Under one of those shady trees
                               There is love
132 · Aug 2019
Know Vacancy
JaxSpade Aug 2019
Empty
As my glass

Pour me some bourbon
Or a molly of sassafras

Brain my damage

It's already a hammer
Of grab and smash

Empty all my liquid
And take a bath

Douse yourself
In my cerebrospinal fluid

And crush

Work your fingers baby

             Knead my mind

Tie it into the naughty knots
Yours supplies

Empty
Fill me up

Feel me slip into the slide
Of your overflowing cup

      Quench my thirst
With the worst syrup

Allow me to get wasted

Let me take another sip
Cure me with fullness
      Of your lovely lips

Tie me to your tongue
Beat me in your heart

Work those fingers baby
                       I'm a mess
132 · Oct 2018
Mind control
JaxSpade Oct 2018
Free lies
Wont cost you anything…

Except your mind
To believe

In every thing they achieve

They paid for your eyes
To think what they see
Paying you blind
Thinking it was free

Free lies
You took
Because they were free

And you couldn't afford
The truth of reality

You were sold on the cost
That paid for your thoughts

And you believe what taught
Your gullibility

Free lies
Turn on the TV
And don't think for your self

Just believe
132 · Aug 2018
Gods Gift
JaxSpade Aug 2018
Cover me in frankincense
I am a gift to you Lord!




OK it's the thought that counts right
131 · Sep 2019
Igotchew
JaxSpade Sep 2019
Behold the hope
At the end of your dreams rope

I can see it
Hanging by its throat

It's dangling on the thread
                 You tried to sew

But if it hasn't broke
You still have time to hope

Because you never know

You could be saved
      By the unknown

And if you can't
              Hold on

Maybe you should let go...

And fall into
     My arms
131 · Mar 2020
The Fallen Rain
JaxSpade Mar 2020
Letters keep falling
In a deep rain of torrential columns

I pieced together a few droplets
And scrambled them together
In a gourmet concoction of an omelette

I fed them to the audience
And they ate my little burritos
With some Awesomesauce

Then I fingered some vocabulary
For a dessert orgasmicaly
And this alphabet kept feeding
The crave

I was a slave
To the letters that rained

I felt the urge to rearrange
In some type of arrangement
That could explain

The phenomenon

How could this happen
Without the intervene
Of the One True God
That wrote this in the Book of lamb

Our Names and Being

Letters keep falling
And I've gathered them all in

But unfortunately
I still don't understand
What they mean
131 · May 2020
Ingredients: Tears,Pain...
JaxSpade May 2020
A few tears to the alchemy

Add
A lil pain
Pulsing frantically

The reaction
Is the chemical balance
The tightrope lends

Steady now
There is no net

Safety
Is in your head
If you fall

No regrets

The potion in your cup
Is yours to drink
Thirst for your quench

Even it hurts to live

A few tears to the alchemy
Changes everything

After the rain
We grown again
A new spring

And the grasses grow green
If you water them

They bring happiness

After a lil pain
You appreciate
Them not happening

Add a lil strength
And the alchemy becomes great
With a prayer to the Almighty

A few tears to the alchemy
Is just what you need

For the perfect chemistry
131 · Mar 2020
In A Pinch
JaxSpade Mar 2020
Another pain
Again

To make me feel alive
Or closer to death

The burning flame
My nerves lit gasoline

On my lateral femoral cutaneous
Scream!

PINCH!
JaxSpade Jun 2020
Can I change
The change in me
I changed
When I thought the change
Was better than what changed

If I changed
Will the change
Change me
Into something I could change

If the change wasn't the right change
That needed to be changed
For me to change

Maybe so...

I guess I'll have to change
Could you spare some change
131 · Mar 2020
Atomic Rain
JaxSpade Mar 2020
Moments of fire
In a passionate rage
She's my desire burning away
I can't stop this feeling
Begging for yours

And I can't help revealing
All my love

This fire is an atomic rain
Au revoir
The cold and pain

The mackerel sky
Is a thoroughbred
Racing higher overhead

And I keep falling
Into your eyes
They just
Caught me
And pulled me inside

This fire is an atomic rain
Au revoir
The cold and pain

Into your arms
I melt away
We make fire
In a poetry

And i can't stop this feeling
You create
I just want to kiss your pretty face

Moments of fire
Burn away
The flames grew higher
Than we could ever pray

This fire is an atomic rain
Au revoir
The cold and pain

We made love over again
And I can't help revealing all my love

And I keep falling into your eyes
No one can make me feel
just like you have

You're my desire
Burning away
We lit a fire
And made love in the flame

This fire is an atomic rain
Au revoir
The cold and pain
130 · Apr 2019
Night Cap
JaxSpade Apr 2019
You dimmed the lights
As I crawled toward your eyes
I found your lips first
And they sank inside mine
We created a moment
Separated from time

Without any clothes on our minds

As we tangled in bedsheets
In moans and mimes
Our passion plunged deeper
With thrusts and drives

You said come deeper

                            In me
                           Inside

And never let go of my eyes
130 · Dec 2018
have you heard the clock
JaxSpade Dec 2018
I am here
The clock says
Day and night
In the same circle
I woke up again
Good morning
Afternoon
Night
It says I'm here
Just like yesterday
The same kind of day
Year after year
The clock keeps repeating
The same chimes
I  hear
With the sunrise
The clock says
I am here
Again
130 · May 2019
G Spot
JaxSpade May 2019
She was ambidextrous
With both hands she kneads
A man's bread Into biscuits
She was delicious
Warm with buttered kisses
But she melted into the prison
Of a maids kitchen
She served him like a slave or a victim
She was his mom without kissing
He was a boy not a husband giving
And this how they're living
Everyday mom serving
Washing and cooking and working
While she died in the hurting
He proved he was better off
With a maid than a girlfriend
And his wife was there only to care for the children
Don't allow love to share a role that involves
Serving without hugging or ****** affection
A women is ambidextrous working both roles With two hands of a mother and mistress
If all men can understand and respect the role of a woman
They can put down their hand
and stop the woes of feminine
By being the strength they depend
To keep continuing to be subservant
And genuine and possibly provide an occasional ******
130 · Feb 2019
Rough Draft
JaxSpade Feb 2019
Losing words
I've lost the few
That followed her

Buried in my books
Under letters and hooks
What could I spell
Correct

You left me hanging off an apostrophe
And out of context

No one could understand
Where my words would gallavant

Losing her
I've lost the words
The few that spoke

All exclamations questioned marked

Now what should I search for
Another alphabet

Somehow I'll figure out
How to arrange a whole new
Language

Rough in draft
130 · Jun 2020
Loosening Screws
JaxSpade Jun 2020
I'm wide awake
Watching my ceiling
Stare back at me

It was saying all kinds of things
Telepathically

I couldn't believe
It was talking back to me

I'm wide awake
Staring at my ceilings face
It started talking to me
Felt like I was on some LSD

The things it was telling me
Filled my brain
And I'm wide awake

But now I'm not sure
Because my ceiling
Is talking back to me

No, I'm wide awake
I pinched myself
To make sure this was real
And I wasn't imagining

My ceiling was lecturing
I was staring at the white cottage cheese
Mentoring

I was there too long
Because then I heard the walls

And they starting closing in
Then I felt real small

And the floor started
Swallowing me whole

I didn't know where to go
So I jumped out the window
To my soul

And that's how I ended up
In this Institute
For the mentally gone

I'm wide awake
But my ceiling says

I should go back to sleep
130 · Jan 2019
heart raid
JaxSpade Jan 2019
it was a shot in the dark
or a shot in the heart
while all was blind
it hit the target

We should have been smarter
Than the probability of ourselves
Becoming longer

While depending on love being stronger
Weakness sprouted under our armor
Conflicts became victorys
For the evil they started

And the wages of those sins
Left us departed

It was a shot in the dark
Our conscious wasn't conscience
Of the desires we wanted

Forever changed
For ever the length
Measuring the definition meant

For years or shorter






In the infinity of eternal
Marauders
130 · Jan 2019
Taste of Doubt
JaxSpade Jan 2019
The taste in my mouth
Had the morning-est taste
With the evening-est smell

I lost faith in myself
And had hate for my God
For creation itself

I lost faith in his Son
And hated this hell
The wreckage of earth
And people as well

I believed in the doubt
There was a heaven in clouds
Because anything else
Seemed impossible now

But how could I find a way out

I had to believe in myself
With the faith of Gods help
I had to read the Bible
And let him speak to my health

Because evil was out
In this world

I opened my heart
And Jesus I sought
He entered my thoughts
And cleaned up the rot

Before the devil had cut
My throat
130 · May 2020
Sloths Are People Too
JaxSpade May 2020
Sunshine again

Another cup of warm
For mugs

Good afternoon
The morning left
The room

I was left too
With a cold mug
And nothing to do

Maybe I'll kick up my feet
Get something to eat
Smoke some ****

And go back to sleep

It's my day off
And I can be sloth

If I want to
I should

Start by doing
Nothing

Right now
129 · May 2020
Beard Of Pain
JaxSpade May 2020
The pain
It owns the hours
As it screams
Receipts

You waited in line

But the cash didn't register
Your fate

Because what you spent
Was flesh

How much does it cost
To keep someone else lot

You thought
Was yours

A man could lose the whole world

For what
It cost

The pain
Reminds the brain
Who is control
And it's not man's
Ghost

Every excruciating ache
Accompanied with a prayer
To take
It all away

Repeated again

The pain pulses
It beats and throbs
Relentlessly compulsive

I cry
As my veins bulge
And strain
And beg
For a microscopic
Mercy to
   Please
Remember I'm
Just a man

Tortured by the pain
Scorching
Burning up in flames
My tears boil in my
Name

Changed
To mud

The pain
It suffers me
In a weakened strength

That pushes me
To the edge of the razors blade

Sometimes you get cut trying to shave
Perhaps I should just grow a beard

And endure
The pain
To the story's end

That never comes
129 · Mar 2019
Hot Day
JaxSpade Mar 2019
Energy fell to my side

While love cried
                        Pain

Taking me to my knees
        It dropped my faith

I died in the chalked outline
               On the asphalts face

It was hot day

And I melted into a fade
Of black and nothing to see
129 · Aug 2018
Ordinary Day
JaxSpade Aug 2018
The date
On the calendar of fate
Is when we made the mistake
Of thinking it was so great

Turned out to be just another day
Nothing special  or extra ordinary

Just a number that states
The next day advancing
             At a 24 hour rate

                      It's meaning less
Than what you gave its name

                                  Meaningless
To the one who wished it away

     Today is just another day
That reminds me of the way
You couldn't care less
         Of what it meant
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