Take my hand,
before I float away,
and don’t hesitate,
if you have something to say.

Please do not kick me,
I’m down far enough,
and if I fall any deeper,
then I might not get up.

You can see that I’m struggling,
to get out of this pit,
but the footholds are weak,
and covered in grit.

Every time I climb higher,
something breaks and I slip,
but can’t you see I’m still trying,
and haven’t gave up my grip?

Can’t you see that I’m bleeding?
That it hurts more than I say?
Can’t you see that I’m tired,
and grow more so each day?

You don’t have to save me,
or even take my hand,
just please don’t berate me,
for what you don’t understand.

You don’t have to scream,
at the monster I become.
Know I’m still inside,
and still there when he’s done.

I’m left with the wreckage,
and damage left behind.
The grief and the sorrow,
of losing ones mind.

I’ll continue to climb,
and one day I won’t fall.
Till then I just ask you,
please don’t make me feel small.

I’ve held onto this too long,
and it’s killing me inside.
The self-entitled *******,
that we selfishly call pride.

My every waking moment,
every irrational thought,
every time that I blamed others,
for what my decisions brought.

Ya I have a problem,
and everyone’s seen,
but that is no excuse,
for the way that I have been.

I’ve been a harborer of hate,
till my cup overflowed.
I invited hell in,
and if you knew me then it showed.

I shut myself off,
and told myself that no one cares.
I stopped worrying bout others,
and stayed out of their affairs.

I was selfish, and stupid,
thinking only of me,
till the poison turned inwards,
on the me I used to be.

I’ve never hated someone,
so much as what I’d become.
The hypocritical *******,
of all that I’d done.

I know it might be too late,
but I still have to try,
because if the poison remains,
then I’m going to die.

I can finally see clearly,
and maybe that’s fate.
Either way I’ll find out,
so goodbye hate.

Do you remember,
that day in September,
when we stood together,
in the pouring rain?

You told me you loved me,
but I could just not see,
how painful it could be,
three little words drove me insane.

I know better now,
and now I know how,
that sucker punch pow,
and unbearable strain.

I built “US” on those words,
and now that seems absurd,
because you left with no word,
no explanation, you abstained.

You opened my eyes,
to all of your lies,
you never said goodbye,
and that caused the most pain.

That time between evening and mourning,
it seems,
Is distantly focused,
like an unbalanced dream.

I love you,
I hate you,
Oh hell,
what to do?

My thoughts race,
my head hurts,
no need to worry,
just spasmatic touch thirsts.

Oh well,
A deep well,
at least the pain,
cannot swell.

Goodbye,
to no one,
a loving father,
and spoiled son.

I was arrogant and stupid,
while he put on the moves,
saying you deserved better,
now I know that was the truth.

I can see it now,
all the faults inside me.
It took me losing you,
for me to finally see.

I keep all your things,
tucked back in my closet,
hoping that you’ll come back,
but you won’t, and I caused it.

I took you for granted,
my hostage to fortune,
thinking you’d never leave,
you wouldn’t do that to our son.

Also, our daughter,
I helped raise since three.
It shames me to admit it,
but I thought you couldn’t do better than me.

Now it’s too late,
and you have moved on,
no matter what I say,
you will always be gone.

I’m sorry sweetheart,
for not being what you deserved.
I will love you forever,
even if you think that’s absurd.

This isn’t how,
I thought my life would be,
I thought we’d have our forever,
but that’s not reality.

“We are divorced!!!”,
you sent through a text.
I just sat there and stared,
wondering what happens next

Who knew three exclamations,
could make you so sad,
and bring a wave of pain,
and feelings so bad.

To say I wish you the best,
sounds so ******* sappy,
but at least I can say,
I finally made you feel happy.

Congrats.

My mind wanders back,
to one year ago,
to the night that we met,
and your radiant glow.

I told you I loved you,
that night as we kissed,
and we both saved each other,
from that dark, cold abyss.

Life was unfair,
to us it had seemed.
Forced to live lives,
that were terrible dreams.

A life without you,
for twenty three years,
making mistakes,
that now seem so clear.

Mistakes that taught me,
that love’s not enough.
Mistakes that taught me,
that even “perfect” is rough.

Our love became rocky,
as you became scared,
and at times I lost faith,
wondering if you cared.

But that promise I made,
to myself that first night,
to never let you go,
without a fight.

I promised I’d save you,
and show you how love could be.
How it felt to be loved,
unconditionally.

You have hurt me, it’s true,
and made me question the truth,
but I never, not once,
lost my faith in you.

Because no matter the fight,
and no matter the lie,
I still see my angel,
that’s buried inside.

The angel you show,
when you think I can’t see.
When you’re giggling and smiling,
and simply care-free.

That’s the woman I’ve loved,
since the day we first met.
A woman with strength,
that she hadn’t found yet.

So remember sweetheart,
that perfect is flawed.
We’ve made it this far,
and we’re still standing tall.

Love’s just a word,
that could never describe,
the way you make me feel,
when I look in your eyes.

The feelings you give me,
and the warmth in my heart,
and the sadness and pain,
when we are apart.

So now as I’m thinking back,
I can’t help but grin,
because there’s not one thing I’d change,
if I could do it again.