Nobody

Nov 2024

Soulless

Make your face blank and stare out into space

2. Wear very little makeup upon your boring face

3. Put on baggy clothes without looking like a disgrace

4. Stay quiet and only speak when others speak to you

5. Listen to other's insults until you believe them to be true

6. Pack your bag and head on home to do your chores

7. Grab the switch if you can even though it isn't yours

8. Play til someone else wants to and then disappear

9. Make yourself appear as insignificant as possible

10. Go to sleep and repeat it all tomorrow

10b. If you fail hide from everyone who hates you

Nobody Nov 2024

triggers

loud noises
crowded rooms
eating
talking
living
hoping
dreaming
wishing
can't do anything about it
can't do anything without being reminded

#trauma

Nobody Nov 2024

trauma

i don't know what's wrong with me
but something was happening so long ago
and it still repeats in my head
makes me want to shut my eyes and go

i don't know what's wrong with me
but i can't talk about it
no matter how hard i try
i'm just to scared to admit that i've been through some ****...

i don't know what's wrong with me
every time i see those awful people
every time there's a loud noise or a crowded room
it just reminds me that the whole world is sheeple

i don't know what's wrong with me
their words repeat in my head in an infinite loop
their mocking keeps coming up
feels like i'm in a boiling *** of trauma soup...

haha i don't ******* know what's wrong with me!!!

#trauma #processing #chaos #brain #traumatic

Nobody Nov 2024

untitled II

every notification on my phone
telling me something is going wrong
another corrupted plan succeeding
another million people gone...

every news story in the morning
telling me I'm going to die
another failed hope
another savior plan gone awry...

every word out of your mouth
telling me I'm a worthless *******
it was so long ago
but the forest fire is still lit...

every word of yours i remember
keeps repeating in my head
telling me i'm useless
and that i'd be better off dead...

...

#trauma #chaos #awful #earth #ihavenoidea

Nobody Nov 2024

Crush?

Maybe I'm going crazy
Because I think I might like him.
I might want him to like me
Am I going crazy???
Because it sure feels like it.
Haha maybe I am 😅
Maybe I have a crush
Maybe
Just maybe
He does too

... probably not though
And for context it isn't anyone on this website, I made sure he doesn't have access to my account because hell. No.

#crush #chaos #brain #crazy

Nobody Nov 2024

Untitled

it's gotten to the point
where nothing matters
the only reason I keep going
is because I know
there are barely any
but at least some
people that would care
if I just disappeared
They might be the only people that would notice...
Haha

Nobody Nov 2024

Anxiety II

am i going crazy
i cant believe my eyes
people telling me
its going to be alright

the chaos in the room
the noise passing by
panic arises in my soul
rightfully so?

it's too loud in here.
haha
i think I'm going crazy
because it sure feels like it
maybe I belong in an asylum :)
because I can't ******* do this anymore