You're a ***** ***** ****
I feel it in my gut
The desire
Bring me higher

Come inside me
Baby find me
Expand my horizons
Yell at me more it's fun

I probably shouldn't
Younger me wouldn't
But I'm so curious
**** me til I'm delirious

Take me out back
My mind's out of whack
My dreams are wet
Touch me without fret

I need to let loose
On you

I was so shy when I met you
I think you were shy too
The awkward silence
One day made a break through

Talks in karate
Talks in the swings
Laughing at others
About the stupidest things

We thought we were so cool
Like two kids skipping school
But grown *** women
Walking down the highway

We bonded
We cried
We saw some dark sides
We never stopped
We drove and felt alive

I'm happy I met you
Thank you for being you
You brought me to life for a bit
And I treasure every moment of it

You're a beautiful friend
Stay strong til the very end

❤️

Hey darling,
Not sure if I ever told you
You know I'm afriad of being bold
But you should definitely know

I've never trusted anyone fully
Never let myself go completely
I don't beleive in any of the mushy gooey

But you, I guess you got me
I'm afraid to let it take control
When I do it's never wrong
You're where I belong

From swinging at night
To playing tic tac toe
Dressing you in clothes
Telling secrets no one else knows

You're my best friend
Always have been from the beginning
It's not that I don't love others
You're just so special to me
Closer then my sister and brothers

❤️

Another poem noone asked for
Then again I live a life
I never asked for
So I'll jot another one down
Until im in my casket
Wearing my black gown

I thought I'd get better
You know, once I decided to leave
I left my abusers and isolation
But I guess I was lost without it
So I made my own abusive creation

They all won't stop haunting me
I kept thinking I was alone
But that's not the real problem
I'm stuck with the skeletons in my closet
I guess my misery seems to adore them

I want you all to know
I've tried so very hard everyday
To make the deep dread go away
I tried to be so optimistic
But the misery is here to stay

I ask God every night
Why it's so dark through my eyes
Surely this isn't how everyone sees?
There's a monotone to this world
I feel so melancholy as I flow with the trees

That sun may shine bright
But I only see gloom roll over my sight
Maybe if I was a different child
I'd be able to see hope and faith
And not have my trauma in another pile

I have never really been ok
All I remember is fooling myself
Pretending that I was kinda real
I think I almost felt alive once
I really let down my shields

I got bitten and torn apart
I became blood guts and strewn about
I was supposed to heal and get better
After I left I only became entirely hopeless
The best is over the worst came together

They sent me a love letter
Informing me
I'll never be alone
Because they are always with me
My skeletons have found their forever home

And they're never gonna go
....
    But maybe I should?

I wish I was normal
I wish I was in your world
Happy and hopeful
Free and beautiful

I'm such a freak
I wish I could change
It's not fun in anyway
I wish the kids asked me to play

Here I stay
Lost and astray
Afraid to misbehave
I'm just a nobody slave

I wish I was normal
I wish I was in your world
Happy and hopeful
Free and beautiful

God I'm such a loser
I cry every night
Look at me Ima fright
I got demons I can't fight

The sun doesn't give me light
I must run and hide
The kids all like to laugh
As I fall and hit the grass

I wasn't chosen last
I was never chosen at all
I wish I was ten feet tall
But I'm not interesting at all

I'm such a freak
Freak
  Freak
      F r e a k

All I ever wish
Put it on Santa's list
I'm completely helpless
I can only reminisce
Other's lives

still  I wish I was normal
I wish I was in your world
Happy and hopeful
Free and beautiful

Maybe I'd be better
Maybe I'd be clever
Maybe I'd be at peace
And not such a freak

I'll clean it later
I say everyday
As months pass

I'll watch it later
I say every night
As years go by

I'll come out next time
I say to people
As I avoid them

I'll get it together soon
I cry at 3am
As I fall asleep

I'll be happy again
I lie to myself
As I long for death