After the sun sets
When we've shared all this laughter
When the light has long left
My dear I'm just cancer
But you'll hear me echo for days after
When the wreckage comes and we plagued with disaster
Maybe the laughter will linger a bit longer

I've been lower down on the hill since birth
And I'm jealous of those who are higher on the list
Who never felt or feared the thirst
Of those who didn't get to get to the top first

You wear constellations on your chest
Hidden under your vest
Those stars on your *******
Everytime the sunsets...

Loneliness is a cancer
And I fear I'll die alone
In the ditch in my bed
With this space in my head
Where someone should be
But the only person is me

Why is everything so painful
I don't ever wanna hateful
But I guess that I should be grateful
That I'm feeling anything at all
This hole that I'm in just gets deeper
And I know that I shouldn't linger
But this **** from the past
Build a home in my heart
And I know that it's all my fault...
But just why...

Dont offer me all your  love
Because I will let if fill my gut
I will let me chew you up
And I will never have enough
Until I spit it up
I'm a parasite
But you know it, right?
You let me take a bit
And take a bite
Like a common mite
So dont offer me your love
If you can't give it up
If you can't fill me up
Don't offer me your love

Is it so wrong to just want someone
Without paying the consequences?
Without getting the check or the questions
Be gone in the morning without a lecture
Over is so boring let me be honest
I could get both for the price of one
I'm not modest

Because I don't love you
And see things above you
And want you to touch you
But forget to hug you
There's no stars in your eyes
When I see them through mine
Nor shivers down my spine
Except on the coldest nights
Because I don't love you
And I know that I won't
I won't leave you a letter, or message, or note
And think nothing of the feelings that that would evoke
Because I don't love you
I just simply won't
Because I don't love you
Or think that I would
I don't love your laugher
Or things that I should
I forget it after
With the little things you do
But because I don't love you
Theres no hate for you too
I just like you
And call that the truth

**** me dry
But theres nothing in my blood
No sustenance from my love
You can have your hugs
If you crave a warmth less
Take this empty stuff
**** me dry until you've had enough

My stars are dimming
But the night sky will go on living
Sharing light
Raging agaisnt the dark
And it will do so unfailingly until the end of time
And it will do so unfailingly without me

It smells of flesh
A smell so fresh
So full of vest
It could rip best to shreds
That potency of want
To want so much that you would hunt
Passion driven ambition
Taken to head and turned to ammunition

You have a pretty kind of ugly face
With a silly kind of goofy grace
That I don't mind to see everyday
In a desperate kind of needy way

You said let's not make it personal
And immediately after your bank into me and became a part of my arsenal
To make sure that when you didn't call back it would make me miserable

Your texture
Your waves
Your smell
Your growth
Your glow
Are things that form my love
And I only want someone who loves you as much as I do

What happened to Johnathan was sad,
But what happen to Sarah was equally as bad

Does anyone know what it's like
To gaze upon sight
That doesn't exist,
And fear that when you wake up
You would have lost yourself
If your gazing persists?

Promise that you're not searching anymore
Hurting anymore
Out trying to find more
Like the time before
You were mine

Time, my old friend
Mind giving a sign to your blind friend
About what's in line around the next bend
Because I'm scared that I might bump my head
On the edges that are hidden up ahead

I have found you
But you were better in my dreams
Now real life seems boring
And I want to go to sleep

When you feel insignificant to the story
Like you're just a name to fill a line
In a page everyone's ignoring
You'll be a line I've read a million times

Life is a maze
If not just a time and a place
For rising or crawling or falling from grace
So try your hardest not to make it a race
Because everyone falls at their own pace

I'll stand up out of this hurt
And be done with he entire bit
This lesson will be learned
Peace earned
Bridges bridges burned
This loneliness can eat ****
And I'll be a better person because of it

I hold my breath
And refuse the air
If I let in the oxygen my heart will expand and flutter

My tummy hurts
But my heart worst
10 second love
Hit a growth spurt
With more and more
To insert
Now I ache
In chest under shirt
Of decisions made
Of lessons learned

I hold my breath
When its natural to breath
And I feel my best
When I'm in the west
And you're in the east
But I like your smile
I like how you touch my back
And the fact is that
You're a peach
And you like me back
And it's sad that that's
Why I'll leave

But theres no way in hell
You're holding me down
It's always regrettable to figure that out
If that makes me a fool
It's time that you know
That's who you're loving
But theres no way in hell
No way in hell

I really like you but it's hard enough being a fool for you
To be uncomfortable with every single thought of you
You wear that frown upon your face
I hope behind it hides your grace or something beautiful
If you've got scars in hidden places
Although its charred,  I won't be wasting something beautiful
But can heaven not see you're good?
Can heaven not lend a hand?
Can heaven not open its gates for him?
Help me understand
How a man
Can feel like this?

Here's my head
And here's my heart
Here they are in separate parts
Head on a neck
And the body is gone
Bed is a wreck
But the night is still long
Morning comes
But the hours are wrong
Living in me
But I'm apart
Two sides of me that'll never get along
Forced into a body  where they don't belong
But there's my head
And there's my heart
There's they are in separate parts

I think my soul hates me
I think my soul loves you
And it rips my insides to streads for keeping you two apart

I hated you with all of me
Until you filled the core of me
And slowly without me knowing it
I liked the parts that was shown to me
Now whenever I see your face it seems
I end up feeling like I'm in love with it

I'm afraid to do anything with my dad
Even if I want to speak to him
Because I'm scared they just went I start enjoying spending time with him
He's gonna to start to talk over me and make me feel like him inviting me to do something with him was just a cover up for him wanting to impose his thoughts on another person and hear his own voice. I feel like it didn't even matter which was sitting there listening to him because it was about him the entire time. I love my dad, but I wish he heard me sometimes

She is a blossom of a spring flower
His shoulders as broad like two stable towers
In spring rainfall, in gentle showers
Swear there is no greater love than ours
He is a beam that stretches to the clouds
Head sweet and pretty and savvy and proud
Her eyes carry punches that crack gravel ground
Brown and deep, and potent and loud
Come at my chest until all desenses are down
Swear there is no love greater than ours
As good a frame with us in the middle
Either one or the other
Who can solve such a riddle?
One has a heart
But so does the other
Sand off the edges and call me a lover
One has the sweets, the other has the sours
Yet both has me with such unfamiliar powers
With wrists to the sky, and no place to cower,
Swear there is no love greater than ours

I'm at my best
In front of the rest
But without all the zest
Inside my chest
They couldn't care less
I'm just a mess
If I must confess
That I am just flesh
Under my dress
And I'm not okay

I tried to find reasons to hate you but I couldn't
So I turned my face to the things that I shouldn't
And saw the things that I normally wouldn't

A mouth that lies
Is a mouth unwise
And turns around
And pokes fun at my insides
And breaks my soul
And it bleeds out whole
So the thruth I withhold
Remains the thruth untold...

Talking about your problems as if they make you different
Making small news of suffering to make the face look magnificent
While pain weathers the feathers off ofthe surfaces
Of so many who never share their problems

Talking about your problems or talking in vain
Talking about my problems when I know I'm in pain
Talking about my problems does make me feel sane
Talking about my problems like leaks from my brain
Talking about my problems to create a new frame
Talking about my problems to make me "okay"
Just talking about my problems to make them go away...

The best part of you
Dare I say its true
With honesty and novelty that bleeds all the way through
And beats the inner parts of my chest black and blue
Just to lay in the cut like a bandage of that sooths
Like a flu in my throat that I just cannot subdue
And clings to my skin like only silk can do
Never mind the standards through which perfection is proved
Or the measures that heavan says are the rules
Against every law and more and more
Forms the raw core that is undoubtedly you

To the love I never had
With a drink in my hand
Although the days were never bad
And enemies never glad
I'll still be sad
Even if only by a tad
For the love I never ever had

Its to hard to love
to love and to fight for that love has hardened my heels
and scratched my knees that refuse to bend
To love is hard
to love and to live for love has bruised the skin that covers my heart
and cut my years in half
love is hard
love that has given me more sleeplessness than raging and thundering nights
and filled me to the brim with worry
love
love that forms deep in the inner parts of my being and causes me to move and arch and stand tall
This love that is perfect and potent
This love
That love
My love
Our love
Love here and there and far and fair
From which all is made and all is destroyed
And all is born and all is restored
This love that is me
and you
and us
Naturally and organically and instinctively and automatically
Was made by love, to love, by love
And yet
This love is hard

He's strong but he cries
Like grey angry skies
When he's worn, yet he tries
With Everest to climb
He woke up late
I don't mind
When clouds part
We'll see him smile
He's okay
He is rhyme
He's strong
He is mine

whether in mind
or in town
right side up
or upside down

I love you

I kiss your bottom lip
I kiss your top lip
I kiss all your lips
And the world is a perfect place again

I woke up in pain
With sleep on my brain
In puddles of sweat
And muscles so strained
Sprouled out on springs
Like a pokey syringe
And pillow so flat
I had pain in my dreams
Put my hand on my chest
And tried my best
To feel the air all around me
And get some rest

Today was a hard day
And life is a hard life
But didn't decide to be here
And I can't decide to get out
Because I was created
I'm sure for a purpose
I can feel my heart beat
I cam feel my existence
So if I was created
To do some sort of thing
Then am I like a product
Or someone's existing thing
Surely I belong to someone
Some awesome creative being
Because if I'm a creation
Does that mean I belong to him?
Can I take ownership over all that is happening
In and around and beside and above me
If I have questions
Will He answer me
If I was created
Can I be free?

Cut like diamonds
with parts undesired
he stood on his lonesome
while heaven admired
the curves of his shoulders
and behaviour to be scolded
he was feminine but potent
neither David nor Moses
caught me like a net could
with the softness of manhood
both eyes and mind and brothers understood
like he knew they would
swayed in a dance
melted like glass
oh to understand
the essence of man

While I'm running my fingers through your hair
Trying to figure out of she's been there
She's laced in your shadow
Caught in your stare
And I just feel like the third one there

Sometimes I breathe
Sometimes with ease
Sometimes my breath even gives relief
But sometimes like most times in life
Breathing and believing that it should feel nice
Is nothing but a dream when you've been suffocating on inside

A river flows against a part of me
And washes away the heart of me
oh that a drift
could be so swift
That it rinsed
out the bits
and pieces that were burnt

You used to be mine
but worlds did not align
nor did day, nor did time
so with chills down my spine
and hands intertwined
you were stolen into the sky
now the only hands the that bind
are both hands that are mine

If destiny is destiny and belongs to this life
Then tell me will any on my choices suffice?
Or be laid out before the universe to sun dry
Because dear old destiny decided so before I was even alive
For it was my choice to ask this question, but its not my choice to inevitably die
So is there a point to my decisions, or  is it destiny that is the lie?

Its his fear that something beautiful will happen
And he would be doomed to serve it
Its her fear that something beautiful will happen
With someone who doesn't deserve it
If not for fear, then for the beauty of it all, we run
We until the sun light runs out
Then we run in the cold until the golden embers of morning pierces us deep into our chests
Still then, we try to find a way out, a way against, a way away from the passions that will undoubtedly cause us our greatest pleasures and our greatest fall