We are Lithium and water
We are nitric acid and paper
We are nitric acid and hydrazine.

We are
e x p l o s i o n s
f i r e
a n d  d e a t h.

It’s not a remarkable rarity,
Not a ruby reflecting the rays
Of the sun, indeed, serendipity
Is like salt in the Monterey Bay.

It’s the dollar you find in your pocket,
It’s the hummingbird visiting home—
The song you would keep in a locket
If you could, for it plays like a poem.

You needn’t be lucky to find it,
It is not a matter of chance.
Open your eyes, be unblinded
And you’ll see it in every glance.

The moon, the stars, the heavens on high
Are not hidden—simply look up to the sky.

Your arm brushes
Against mine and a
Warmth slips between
Your fingers and
Shivers down my spine, I
Wonder if you’ve got any idea,
The effect you have on me.
I wonder if you realize
That you’re a living dream.

People all around me
Nobody
Looking me in the eye
When I try
To talk I stutter
No one I know
Is here
I don’t know
Anyone anyway
Always alone
Even when I’m in
A room full of people
I could be surrounded
But I’d still be stifled
By loneliness

Loneliness
Is a great grey funnel cloud
Trying to whisk us away
But not to the Wizard of Oz
It takes us away
To a Land of Pain.

I’m a mess.
I’m not graceful
I lack finesse.
I look at everyone around me
And they seem to have it so easy.

I’ve been told that I make things harder
Than they actually need to be,
But it seems the harder I work the farther
My needs and dreams seem to flee.

I look around, convinced I’m insane
Until I met you
Just as insane as my messed up brain
And when you speak
Butterflies flit out
And I can tell you’re just like me
Not graceful
Lacking finesse
Clumsy in talk and everything else.

What a relief
To know I am not alone.
Sometimes
I just feel so alone.
But I’m not alone
Just lonely perhaps,
But then I met you
Who reminded me
I wasn’t an alien
I wasn’t alone
And I needn’t not be lonely
Much longer.

We only ever
Miss the sunshine
When it snows or rains.

We only ever
Miss a lover
When they get up and leave.

We only ever
Miss our family
When they’re long gone.

We only ever
Know they’re there
When they disappear by dawn.

I find myself longing
For what I once had
Forgetting
What I could be
Would be better.

it feels like locking
the door on your loyal dog
who loved unconditionally
and saved you from your
sorrowful depths,
but you must go and
all things must end, though,
can’t you hear the whining
through the cracks?
can’t you hear the groan
through the cracks in the spine
made from opening what must
always
be shut?

You are not lost
Until you believe all is lost.

I strayed from a path,
A safe, sound path,
Surrounded by a dreadful
Dark forest.

I was pushed from the path,
The safe, sound path,
By an evil, evil, entity.

Sent spinning into that
Dreadful, dark forest
While people try to push and pull
Me out of the dreary gloom.

All it does
Is send me spinning
Faster and faster,
A tornado whipping through the trees.

Only one, one only
Can slow me down
And lead me over the brush
Back to that safe sound path.

Lost in a lock of confusion.
Misunderstanding is our demise.
What isn’t made of logic and facts,
We belittle, ignore, and despise.

What we see we don’t always believe,
Because we only let ourselves see what we want to,
To change someone’s mind is like
Trying to tip over the Rocky Mountains
With your bare hands.

We’re all in a snowstorm
We can’t see each other
Lost in the white.
Adrift and afraid,
Unsure what to do.
We live in a blizzard,
Paralyzed by fright sometimes.
We can’t see those with us
When the storm rages strong.
As the wind rises,
Our fear rises too.
But call my name,
And I’ll call back.
Hear me
Hear them
Be afraid
No longer.

I’m lost in the woods
No one can save me now
I’m running from the good
I’ve been shown because I know
I don’t deserve what I’ve been given.

My road is decorated with thorns
Roses die at my feet
I’m a demon-I’ve got horns
I welcome you to be in the front seat
Of the tragedy called “My Life”.

But then again, it isn’t too bad
As much as it seems to be
There’s so much life left to be had
And I can grow from this like a tree.

Yes, I might be lost in the woods
But I know you’re looking for me
I can find good if I know where to look
And I’m not as lost as I think.

If you are lost
You will be found.

i imagine you sprawled across your bed
ankles crossed in the air, hair
falling in strands out of your neon
ponytail, bent over some graphic novel
that looks like it’s seen the bottom
of a backpack far too many times.

i imagine you have one of those smiles,
the kind that blooms soft and slow
across your cheeks like a lily, Louyse.

Lily Louyse, i see you upside-down on the
monkeybars, grinning like it all means nothing,
like the fire is long-gone, no smoke in the
air.
not anymore.

but the fire once was, we both know.

it burned your eyes as you shook
body wracked with a million papercuts
a million scars only you could see.
it licked your palms as you
clawed
at the darkness, wishing for some answer
some semblance-of-self.
i see you curled in a ball on the floor
silently begging the world for—
oh, i don’t know.
all I know is i’ve done, felt, screamed
the same.

but i have this strange feeling that
you peeled yourself up and gathered
each scrap ripped like a banned book
and taped yourself together
with shaking fingers.
and then you floated downstairs and
let the television drown out those
stupid, stupid thoughts and
smiled as kate winslet embraced the
sky—“i’m flying!”—
and i have this strange feeling that you will be
okay.

I am a sentient being
My eyes are blurry from not seeing
That getting used’s a regular thing
For a bunch of girls like me.

You clap your hand against my mouth
Think you can stop me from shouting out.
You keep putting people in a cage
You won’t let us get up and rage
But I’m enraged, and I’m not sage
But I’m not clueless and you are ruthless.

You’ve got no heart to give
Cold as stone; how do you live
With all the happiness you have deprived.
I’m not clueless but you are
Willing ignorance leaves us scars
But you won’t see them ‘cause you don’t want to
You love your lies and despise the truth.

You give me pain you drive me insane but that’s ok because today I produced something magic from all of the pent up sadness you begot

The magic
Is in the mystery
And the mystery
Is in the people.

The magic
Is in all of us.
Look
And you will find it.

You are magical
Whether you believe it or not.

A sigh, an exhalation,
Relief from all of the weight.
I float, just for a moment,
Just for an hour or two or three
Just us, only family
And yes, soon it will be gone,
But for now it is enough:
This feel of a feathery laugh,
That tingling warmth, that upward curve
Of lips and teeth, that playful verve,
This air of placid comfort,
Like a hug, enveloping sweetly.

I don’t dare let it go,
As a child clasps her mother’s hand,
Fearing that it won’t come back,
And truly, I can’t make it stay,
For buds will bloom and then decay,
But this is manna for the soul,
For now, it is enough.

And the weight, it will come back,
The scene fading into black,
The dust will blanket and will bury,
This moment, though it won’t last
Is a pinpoint of light to carry
When I am as the trodden chaff.

People wear
Masks too much.
Not just on their faces.
Why they do so
I only partly understand.

Humming
People sounds
Surround.
The sound
Of civilization
Vibrate
Through the whole of society.
A nation
A city
A world
Hearing the hum
Of humanity.

I’m a storm
I’m an ocean
Get too close
You might get ****** in
Try and sail
A ship on these seas
Tossed and turned
You’ll get bruised
You might bleed
You can’t say
I didn’t warn you
I told you over and over
“This heart doesn’t fit two”

Maybe
If I write happy things
It’ll leak onto me...

My mayfly
Please don’t fly away
Stay
Please don’t leave me today.

My mayfly
Please do try
To keep in one place
Sorry I’m intense
Because, dang it, I’m a mess

What are you afraid of?
Why do you flinch at the sight of me?
What if I told you I love you?
Would you be afraid?
No, you would say it back.
Right?
But you wouldn’t.
You don’t.
But you wish you did.
I wish you did.

For me,
Days don’t exist.
They blur
Into long stretches of time instead:
Boring
Not boring
Happy
Sad
Painful
Monotonous
Angry.
I don’t measure time in days
Or months
Or even years.
Time for me
Is measured in emotion.

Meet Expectations.
She is bubbly and happy
Sensitive and sappy
And she lives all in her own world.

Problems are like flies to her:
Pesky annoyances
She’d rather ignore.

Expectations is fun to hang around sometimes
Until her ideals start to
Weigh you down sometimes.

What meets the eye
Could be anything in disguise
So why obsess over it
When what’s important is within?

Your marble eyes
Well up with my tears
Why must you
Be so empathetic.
I pulled you in a mess
That you asked to be in.
I complied thinking
You could handle me.
But your kindling fire
Is burning out next to me.
My ice is melting
Drowning out my pain
While prolonging yours.

The snow is a white blanket.
Life is a torrential sea.
Living is piloting an airplane during a blizzard.
Still water is a mirror.
The girl was a lioness
Regal and sleek.
Metaphor is the Voyager Golden Record
Of humanity.

The sun
Now completely above
the horizon.

The shadows
Feel cold
But what the sun touches
Is warm.

I go outside
And watch
The birds
Chirp to their neighbors.

My neighborhood
Wakes up.
Good morning!

The shadows
Creep up.

My bed will keep me safe.
I hold the comforter close.

The starlight  
Chases away the shadows.

Thank the stars!

The shadows
Creep up.

I should be sleeping.
The comforter is not comforting
At all.

𝘛𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱
But the harder I try the more that my mind
𝑹𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒔.

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘐’𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥…

Miracles happen all the time.
We just need to pay attention.
They are there.

We are miraculous.
Ropes of corded muscle
Intertwined—
A system so efficient
We have spent centuries
Attempting to imitate it.

We are
Astounding.
Life is a miracle
No robot
Can replace.

I collapse
Relapse
Back to
What I was before.

It hurts to the core
Don’t think I can take anymore
My heart is sore
Because of what, I’m not sure.

But something is missing
Me and sadness are reminiscing
But without pleasure
Stumbled upon it
Like a bitter angry treasure.

Maybe what’s missing is me.

Why do I keep messing up?
They say that making the same
Mistake over and over again
While expecting different results is insanity.
Maybe I am insane.
Because I sure as heck are making the same mistakes
Over and over again.
I don’t think
I expect different results though.
I think I have given up
On ever getting a good result.
Sometimes
I am doing well,
And I learn from my mistakes.
But I can never keep it for long
And I make the same mistake again.
I can’t be correct for more than three weeks.
Maybe I am a wrong person,
Because I cannot not make mistakes.
Everyone else
Make mistakes.
I am sure of this.
But their mistakes are small and trivial.
I mess up big things, like relationships.
Because that is messing up others.
This is why I need to be alone.

I know.
All of my poems
Are just excuses.
You keep on saying that:
“Stop making excuses!”
I know I made a mistake.
I wish I didn’t.
You are the very person
Who taught me mistakes are bad,
Whether it was directly or indirectly.
And I believed you.
I keep on trying to justify my mistakes.
I’m sorry.
I know I made a bad choice.
But I guess I’m in denial
That I made a mistake
‘Cause didn’t you say mistakes are bad?

Mister Mister over there
You burn holes with that stare
From a smolder to ice cold,
Your eyes are haunting, beautiful, and bold.

Mister Mister come over here
Moth to a fire, painful sear.
I’ve always wanted what I can’t have,
Is it so good if it’s so bad?

Mister Mister seems you have made
A 1000 words I have to say,
What drama may ensue
Ever since I’ve noticed you.

Look to the sky
See a mockingbird flying high
He sounds his call to us
I hear you, you are heard!

How monumental it will be
When humanity realizes
That what is now
Won’t forever be.

The light’s dancing in your eyes...
Hold up.
I’m just kidding.
Fire’s burning
Flickering at me
Angrily
In your eyes.
You’re a ticking time bomb
I don’t know how to defuse.
But I’m a moth,
And as moths do,
I don’t look away, I run to you.

on the edge
of this ravine, I’ve stood
so long that the grass has grown
between my toes, moss hanging off
my fingers in tendrils,
wildflowers in my hair,
but today it is time to move.

the darkness yawns wide, though
it wasn’t always this way.
once, it was a child—
like all grown-ups once were.
once, it was just a crack in the dirt,
the product of a thousand tiny
earthquakes.

when i was a child, running
free as the wind,
i stumbled to a stop at its cusp.

i became afraid like a
fawn turns to a deer with
wide, wide, wide eyes
darting around as the fish
in a crystal sea.
i spent all my years, frozen
there until the chasm grew and so
did i.

but today, i take the leap.

i shake off the dust and replace
it with steel, steel drum for a heart with
a beat for every step,
one foot in front of the other picking
up speed, until suddenly i am
f l y i n g.

fear?
in another life, perhaps.

The futures brighter than the past,
The past is black and white.
The future’s technicolor
And the past is dull.
But this isn’t a TV screen,
We can’t just pause the movie at the scary parts.

A beat
A rhythm
A melody
Melds into the harmony.
Bass vibrates
Into my soul.
Music.

It’s such a shame
That crap rappers
And social media
Had to ruin it.

The best music played
Can’t be heard or listened to
It comes from the heart.

Hardship made the lines in her face deeper.
Cries echo as she stares bleakness in the face.
It is strength, but the kind of strength
That was worn down and beaten up.

She is the remains of a forest fire.

She is the mountain cliffside that still stands
Once the stones come crashing down.

There is no hope in the land where she lives.
There is, however, hope in her.

She must go on.

Again and always, she must go on.

Must you be so annoying?
Must you be so rude?
Must you be so everything
That ruins the mood?

I say to the mirror.

I think
my dog must be smarter than me
he may chase his tail
(even though he has no tail)
he may sit in front of an open door
waiting for me to open it

but he’s happy

therefore, my dog’s clearly smarter than me