Push me down thinking
That I won’t push you back worse
You are so stupid

Lost in a lock of confusion.
Misunderstanding is our demise.
What isn’t made of logic and facts,
We belittle, ignore, and despise.

What we see we don’t always believe,
Because we only let ourselves see what we want to,
To change someone’s mind is like
Trying to tip over the Rocky Mountains
With your bare hands.

I’m swimming with sharks
Leaving me in the dark
They try and limit
My limitless art
Don’t even start
Because these blood-red words
Come from swimming with sharks.

Music is when
Your bones vibrate
With the happiness
Of listening.
Or something less dramatic,
But still similar.
It’s when
You get goosebumps,
Or you can’t help yourself
But hum along.
Or at the very least,
It’s listen-able.

So “The Box”
By Roddy Ricch
Can just
Go die.
No offense
To all of his fans
And Roddy too.
Just my opinion.

I can’t seem to react
As others would
I can’t seem to feel
As others would
I’m not completely sure
I’m able to feel at all.

Nightfall falls
As curtains close
To end a show.
And then,
The curtains open up again
To start a new one.

You smile when it rains,
You laugh when the skies turn grey,
When life gives you lemons,
You **** on them.

When the clouds clear up,
And the skies turn blue,
It doesn’t matter to me,
Because I’m with you.
I’m with you.

I am slowly deteriorating
And going insane
And c r u m b l i n g
My supports are bending
From the weight of my burden
My brain is rotting
From lack of use

Loneliness
Is a great grey funnel cloud
Trying to whisk us away
But not to the Wizard of Oz
It takes us away
To a Land of Pain.

Run away
Run away
It’s best that you don’t stay
You have no idea
What chaos I am.

Run away
Run away
Remain and you will pay
The price of loving a living sin
And being in the places I have been.

Run away
Run away
Stay with me; you better pray
That you will make it unscathed
Out of this friendship you have made.

Oh please stay
Oh please stay
I will let you have your way
Even though I’m walking fire
And you have gotten yourself stuck in my mire.

Would you recoil
Your wonderful touch
If you saw a few of my scars?

Would you walk away
If I told you just
How many times I’ve been marred?

Or would your embrace get tighter
Your love for me stronger?
Would you still be willing
To give me a sky full of stars?

Only in our blind beliefs can we ever find the truth
The deepest precepts come from the youth
Contradictions never fail to make sense
And I can’t even see through my own pretense

I walk through the foggy mist
I feel the souls around me
The lost ones I am amidst
I’m not talking about dead people
Instead the ones who are ignored
I’m talking about the people
Whose hearts are battered and sore.

A beat
A rhythm
A melody
Melds into the harmony.
Bass vibrates
Into my soul.
Music.

It’s such a shame
That crap rappers
And social media
Had to ruin it.

I was in a mist
Things I never had I missed
Come near and I’ll hiss
Trust never was my thing.

But now your light shines through
So that I can approach you
But yet I stand still
A statue, a picture taken.

You start to walk towards me
I look like a deer in headlights
I can’t seem to move away
How you have incapacitated me, my dear.

This world is plastic
Not fantastic

This world breaks
From all the gosh dang fakes.

I crave affirmation
I live off of praise
Why do I need this
Is it my curse?
Why do other’s opinions matter?

You tell me to communicate
I try but you don’t listen.

It’s hard to tell you everything
When to you I always say the wrong thing.

You always think I’m lying,
Because I have lied before.

So now I have to lie again,
I have to bend my truth to your will.

Why won’t you accept me?

I have a fairly great life.
I am one of the group of fortunate people
Who get to go to school
Who have a kind family
And a roof above my head.
I should be thankful.
I am.
But I’m mostly sad.
I am always afraid of what may happen,
Which probably will inevitably happen
Because life does that sometimes.
I feel like because I am fortunate
I should be happy.
But it’s so dang hard for me to be happy.
I don’t understand it.
Sometimes I wish I was diagnosed with depression
Because then at least
I would have an excuse.
I would have an explanation.
But instead I am left with a sadness
That I can’t explain.
I don’t deserve to be this sad.
My life is awesome.
I don’t have a chemical imbalance in my brain.
I’m pretty sure I got a good amount of serotonin in me.
It’s just me.
But if it’s so easy,
Then why is it so hard?

How am I supposed to
Focus on algebra
When I feel like
I’m exploding inside.

You’re the kind of person
That would tell me
To stop exploding.

I’m the gun
And you’ve already pulled the trigger.

You are undefined
Like 0 divided by 0
Or a non-linear function.

I can’t find the butter for my bread
I refuse to have anything else instead.
I can’t find the missing puzzle piece
That will complete my masterpiece.

I still wait.

If you could save me that’d be great
But it doesn’t seem that that’s my fate
Cuz my sadness won’t abate
And my longing will not sate.

How fast
Beautiful things
Turn grotesque.

If I was the wind
I’d blow away
To a place so magical
I’d always want to stay.

If I was a fire
I’d warm you to your bones
I’d be light
You’d never be lost.

If I was the waves
I’d give
And take
And give
I’d find treasures
And lose them
So you could find them too.

If I was the Earth
I would nurture all that grew
Along my edges
Because the small things
Are important too.

Am I invisible?!
Because you’re avoiding my eyes.
What are you hiding?
Look at me.

Am I silenced
Because you ignore my cries
Are you deaf?
Or are you just cruel?

If I never ever met you
I’d still miss what I never had.
It’s like longing for the heavens
And the rest of outer space.

I’ll probably never meet you,
I don’t even know who you are.
But I know I want someone just like you,
Someone bright, like a star.

Or maybe I don’t care how bright you are,
I just want someone who respects
My wishes, my fears, my unrequited beliefs.
Someone who loves my smiles, and tears.

Trying to put labels on things
Is extremely exhausting.
Everything is just too many things
To characterize.
But that’s okay
I’m gonna try and put labels
On myself anyway.

I feel like
I could be characterized as a waterfall.
For example,
When I write one poem on HePo
It takes me about 15 minutes to finally
Shut up.

Help.
I cannot seem to be able to voice my opinion to adults without coming off as rude.
For example:
Person 1: you should do (insert something here) first because you’re reading all day, and by the time you have to do (something mentioned before here), your brain is exhausted!
Me: But I don’t read all day. I only read at lunch today.
Person 1: are you gonna be a smart-aleck with me now?? I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
Me: Sorry. Never mind.

But seriously.
How do I point out a fact that may prove the person wrong without sounding rude?
Especially when they’re older than me.
I’m only thirteen, and I suppose it seems disrespectful for a 13 year old to do so, but I don’t think I sound rude.
Is there anything I can do about that?

It’s hard to see green grass
When it’s snowing.

It’s hard to see the positive
When you are positive
The world is going to heck.

It’s really dang hard
To see the sun
On a foggy day.

But you dang well know
I will try anyway.

What?
I don’t know.
Why?
I don’t know.

Wow. This is why I have no ideas.

The light’s dancing in your eyes...
Hold up.
I’m just kidding.
Fire’s burning
Flickering at me
Angrily
In your eyes.
You’re a ticking time bomb
I don’t know how to defuse.
But I’m a moth,
And as moths do,
I don’t look away, I run to you.

I feel sad
I think
I shouldn’t feel sad
I list my blessings
I think of all the kids
Out there who don’t
Have a good family
Or a house
Or nice clothes.

I cry.
The guilt makes me cry more.

I’ll meet you in the meadow
Where the sun never sets
And everyone can forgive the mess
We made where
No one judges
Meet me there
I wanna see you there
I want you to come with me
Where we can finally
Be happy.

Together.

Im fire
You’re water
And dirt
You try to stifle me
I suffocate

w h e r e i s m y o x y g e n

I’m dying
Where are you
I need you

i n e e d y o u

She’s sad
She pretends to be glad.

She’s angry at the world
Her inner fists are curled.

One time,
Something sad was happening
Someone told her she was still smiling
She forgot to take of her mask.

I can’t even look you in the eye
It hurts too bad
I tear away
My eyes tearing up
Unless of course, I wear sunglasses.

Isn’t exercise supposed to make you feel better about yourself?
I must be doing something wrong, then.

I love you
But you
Can’t stand me
You see
An annoying pest
That’s best
To ignore

It’s so loud
Silence is scarce
So much sound
Thinking about it makes me hoarse.

There’s only a few sounds
The buzz of humanity
Yet it is so loud
I’m bound to lose my own sanity.

Silence still stifles me
And yet I still long
For both sound to leave me be
And to hear humanity’s song.

Okay.
This is really cliche
But I’m not sure exactly
What love is
Because there are so many ideas
In the world of today.

You see
Some people say it’s a butterfly in your chest
Or when your stomach
Does a gymnastics routine worthy of a gold medal.
Others say it’s a feeling of safety,
Comfort
Reassurance,
Because when you’re with your loved one,
You are okay.

I have also been told
Love is when you find
Companionship
And friendship
And compassion within a person.

Is it a flash
A strike of lightning
And BOOM you’re in love?
Or a gradual
“I really like you”
Which turns into
“I really love you.”

Truth
Myth
Lie
Deceit.

Too many
Too many.

No, I won’t stress myself to the point where I start breaking down and getting mad and making everyone else’s day ****.
Too late.

I am uncontrollable
For you cannot hold down the wind
I am free
For you cannot stop gravity
I am lawless
For you cannot tie down art with rules.

Ink runs down the paper
Like my words are crying too.
I write these for a person.
Someone, I don’t know who.

Thought is so unnecessary,
And yet these thoughts run rampant here,
They rage inside my untrained mind,
My calls no one can hear.

In a room all by myself,
Screeches fill the air,
But only I can hear them.
All you hear is
Stone
Cold
Silence.

I spill over my skin
An over-emotional mess
I am a puddle
You are a stone
I feel so much
That I overload and forget how to feel
But you are a stone
I don’t know if you’re sad
You wouldn’t tell me if you could.

Knee-deep in the snow
Don’t know where to go
My fingers feel numb
To the cold I succumb

The clock is ticking
The clock is ticked at me
For killing time
Then running out.

Where am I?
Where did I go?

Why can’t I find me?

You think you’re gonna save me
But all you do is harm.
Sugar-coated words
Mean nothing to me.
Because sugar-coated words
Are coated in venom, not sugar.
You say you don’t want to,
But I’m not sure.
If you didn’t want to hurt me,
You wouldn’t.
You’re starting to become a Predator,
Your composure is fading away.
Your armor of lies is breaking,
And my defenses are disintegrating.

I stumble into a crowd
And it parts like Moses’ Red Sea
I’m not any celebrity
They must be afraid
Of someone like me.