he has had enough
yet he longs for 1 last
touch
is that asking for too much?

has his lust become a crutch?
has his morality met its finality?
does he know when to stop?
or does he crave being on top?

questions, questions
many to be asked
none to be answered
it is his show

i am just the dancer

I run the road
Beat the street
Cruise for another
Looking for me

Searching high and low
For it is only in
The moonlight
That I seem to glow

Seedy places
Repugnant bars
With too many
Empty faces

Matching their soul
The type of people
Looking for a solution
In a glass or a bowl

*******
Mary Jane
The darkness is endless
I wish I could explain

I had to remind myself
That I was enough
Replacing my unworthiness
With empowerment
I gathered the audacity
To stare at my reflection
No longer would
I let myself
Die slowly
No longer was I willing
To succumb to this prolonged death
One day
I will clasp
My hands together
And feel the touch of God
Until then....
I will continue to grow
Flourishing into the garden
I have neglected
The flowers I am watering
Will no longer be placed
On my casket
These will be used
For celebrations only
For birthdays, for my wedding
For the birth of my child
For my rebirth

I shimmied my way
Down the coastline of California
And somehow ended up
In Quebec
I thought I was headed
In the right direction
But my compass lied
Just like you have done
Repeatedly
Just as I have done
Subconsciously
It is time for me
To divorce myself
From illusions
It is time I accepted that
This smoke is a warning
Of a fire

An ocean lies between us
Mirroring the peace
I have searched deserts for
The further away from you
I am
The further away from my memory
You go

The moment I realized
I could no longer differentiate
Between my lover and God
Was the first step
In this process of elimination
One must first admit
That they have a problem

I invite your collision
No matter how fatal
The crash might be
At least we will be
Reunited on the other
Side of Heaven