No dearth of concern
A cornerstone decree
traumatic legalistic promissory
Top priority..
Believe me...... .
priceless .....
You have earned your worth....
I reiterate
Make no mistake
I have 427 lifetimes to burn
The leverage of jupiter slamming into earth

Pitched upon a galactic beam
Mars wedged up tight
Set as the fulcrum.  
I'm in the pinch point
Child's play
Worry  not .....
For I shall not sway  ......
You clueless clucks
get you're remedial  game face on
Because ......ooooh its on
Every goose 🪿 gosling or wanna bee's.  
Flock up and shut your squawk boxes from talking
And listen closely your new objective ........
...
READY??????............

PAINT!!!!!..........


****­e is our tapestry
I'm gonna make It wet .
You will make it sanguine......
Discontinue your disgusting campaign on my love
And  Maybe ........
It will change the outcome..
Maybe .......
I will render your recompense
Swiftly .....
It's a definite Maybe
....
Oh were still gonna paint the sky ...
You and I.........
Your blood ,
My brush ,
What a rush ......
You little reprobates
You're  all  dumb done

Lifelong song
Sung .....
From innocence
Into efflorescence
subtlety with ease
She........
elevated me.
I gravitated to her temptation
As natural as falling into destiny.
The essence of my enchantress,?,?,
Enamoring!
nuances
Left me defenseless.
Intoxicated with sundry pangs felt in crushed velvet magenta ,
saturated with indigo blue.
Beguiled by her presence
she held me still deliberately!
Euphoric glistening tears flowed
so slowly and satisfying .
As her eyes closed. 
Even slower the fear of death came and went .........
Loosed her grip
Then
slowly squeezed my chest
with
a sweet
Seductive
Suction!

Still deeper into my heart
her fangs sunk in!
pains so succulent
I languished in sensual Sickening  
agony.
Leaving my thirst for her
Unquenchable......

First Love-bite  ........
..
the venom is irreversible. ....
It's like being resurrected ....
A cocktail confected from your finest chemicals upbraided  into
An attractive macrame ....of attraction.
The ultimate inflicted reaction from an infection that  causes sexiness and intimate ,
Instant
Addiction ...
Once her teeth sank untill
Her lips touched wet with mine
I lost trust in my mind,
And I knew that only insanity would follow,
And also I know

I  cainst let them withdrawal ....
She left me at an intersection
With countless directions
Which lead to any and everywhere.....
And yet for me it's a one way .
And it still feels consensual....
Karma my Queen
You put the hurt on me . .
And love is like the fall
When you learn to fly
Feels like the first time
Everytime I fall in
I love love. .... as much as falling in love.
But
It's the fall I crave ... And I'm a slave to it . It's the sudden stop at the end that I'm afraid of ..  
More than anything.
Yet.............it....
Hasn't
stopped me yet

It's like being resurrected from the grave ........with a ravenous appetite  
For life........
Drunken on bravery......
With no yearning to fight......
it's like learning to fly ...
For the first time......
Everytime you fall  in.....
I love love as much as falling in......
But it's the fall that I crave .
im a slave to it.
Its that sudden stop at the end
That's what I'm afraid of.......
Although ........
You know.. .
Love.....
When your on the verge......
Reluctant dragon....
First time going down a slide.......
Feet out front.....
All the warnings.....
Grasping for something....
All those memories
Fat lips scraped knees.   ......
Wait what's gonna happen .......
When. .....
Then the push ....
The rush ....
All that could happen.......gone.....
Running cutting in line.    
Giggaling climbing the ladder.....
......
Love ........
It's a funny thing....
If you've never been .....
Then I guess your probably fine.
It only takes one time .....
You've lost your mind......
Falling out......
Lilliput Glumb.....
Bummin everyone .
Inconsolable..
Sad sack Sarge
Goyoallllllllllly!
Sickening
Oh woooez me....
Falling in ....
Knight .....
Full of chivalry......
Courageous.......
Enviable......
Righteous in your own mind .....
Unstoppable........
Once you've been
Bitten.....  
Oops I meant smitten......
A bit of advice......
If you are young .....
Listen .....
Chase the girls .....
There gonna run from you...  
Put all that energy into you......
Build your dreams...the girls will eventually chase you.....
If your a girl.......
Same thing but double......
If your old ......
Hair of the dog.....
Rabies......
Oops meant to say
"BABY"

If regret was preventable ,
Would you still feel ?Yuh ......
Ya you broke my heart.....aye!!!
Aye......  
aye...
Took me to higher  heights
You called me your King,
I had........
More love than I could give away in a lifetime.......
I been saving it like wine........
Yuh.   ......
You opened that door.......
Thought we got drunk on my love....
Guess that was just me.....
Went through everything so fast......
I was goody two shoes .....
Your one and only......
The golden one .......
I gave my life.......put my character on  the line ...........
All your friends and family ......
I never listened to.......
All had **** to say about you......
Said you were fast ....
Laughed ........
Said Itll never last......
I used to be somebody .....
Over confident that's ok  ....
Never said anything I couldn't back up ....
I was a bad ***.    
Now what?
A has been ,
I tried to rescue you......
You used me ...?
Now I'm the outcast ?
Vagabond..........
Look at me.   ....
Oh wow. ......
I never needed anything.......
I had everything.....
Everybody love me ......
Look at me .......
It's me ..........remember me?
Your loverboy babyblue.......
Where are you......
I need you ............
Oh great now I'm needy?
Love me like you used to.
Did you ever ....?.
I won't even care if you just pretend to

The whole time I was protecting you....
Lying to the kids .....
Saying you..........
Just needed some space....  
We're out with your friends.......
Then I put them to bed ......
Go down to our room
Lock the door and cry y.......
You won't text me or call me ....
I wanted to die .....
I felt so alone.....
Two days or more go by.....
Kick open the door smelling like ***** ......
A hot mess wrinkled up short spandex dress.......
Saying vicious things to me threatening to leave again.....
I beg you to stay forgive you ....
You don't even ask me too......
I love you.........
And after it was over......
I find that you lied about me the entire time........
I lost my mind.......
I had no idea......
I still don't .....
Wait .......
Remind me what it was that I saw in you?........
*** is wrong with me ........

They stood.....
Monolithic,
Dark canopy allowed no growth.  

Ancient timbers of ironwood.....



Buckle the land ,
Fell by my axe in hand
bark and limb......
Used to build the funeral pyre,
Ring the knell and set it ablaze
Flames licking nights sky,
Torrent fed by my pain.
Cyclones  of scorching winds
Driving  everyone away,
Through the plumes of smoke ,....
Crackling sparks illuminated my way
Power induced by trauma. ....
Channeled without fear .....
Focused to a beam
Intention set to redemption.....
My word is my world
Safety features shattered ......
Laboured unimpeded.....
Coals melting rock ......
No way to control
Fixed gaze .......gritting teeth
Fists gripped so tight skin splits,
Bearing weight causing shin splints
Feeding on back biting and chiding
Insatiable thirst

Kept only by tears wept

Rendering this forest glen
Into inhabitable zone
One by one I alone
Drug these timbers across  barren sands of the dunes...
Drove them into bedrock...
Under a blood red moon......
And the clouds loom burgundy with traces of gold ...
pungent musky plumes of revenge
Like the kind of scars that tell the tales
Which will never be spoken .....
Secrets that
Change everything.
Take away something
You never get back ....
I weep not for my acts .......
Lachrymose   most tears fall for what I've done to me ...
I grieve for the way life used to be.
Machiavellian monster  
With the trees I built a panic room.....
Because of ways I faced a future of doom ....
Imprisoned within this personal tomb....
I pace ,
reflect .
In retrospect ....
I pontificate.   Round the clock ....
I squander everything to ponder In quandary. .....
Ist there a difference between fate  and destiny ...
Is this preconcieved.......
Birth to grave?
I wander and wonder .....
For I know if I can start over again ...
I wouldn't change a ******* thing .

If I could fly away I would . .
I should . ... ..
But will I ......
If I could be something else.....
I would become poetry ....
More specifically ......
Poems written about you
Using the perfect words placed perfectly which roll off the tongue like an ambrosial candy
Revealing everything beautifull
I see in you.........
Only for you to see how much you meant to me..........
And you just walked by looking for something better.......

My soul contols me
So in self controll
I can resist anything
Except one
The mere thought of the essences of you
I cannot controll what you do to me
I loose controll and its only for you
Let my love run unbridled
Please
So set me free
Let me love you fully
Openly
I think thats what we both need

Beautifull perfection ....
The world stalls the go round
To see you......
Smile .....
Uncontrolled
You roll your eyes and I'm....
spellbound.....
Excuse me while I...
Levitate ....
You like my style ?
DONT MOVE......
I will stay right here
And move the world
To bring you close
Allured into the divine glow.....
Thine eyes have been
Graced by etherial diety,
Sweet tears flow
Basqueing in your ambrosial beauty is ,
Ineffable.......
Aphrodite......
I am incomplete without you....
I completely belong to you...
To stray is  an absolute
Impossibility
A superfluous absurdity

The statement comes to mind frequently .......
And that is ......
"There is one thing that Elohim could not do  ......
He could not make a mistake.."
My response is that ,
"He could ,but he couldn't ,
And He did .......
When He created woman......
His mistake was .....
(Forgive me my Lord for saying this")
He didn't make enough of them! "
Heartfelt......
Felt like it was going to stop .....
(My heart that is)
She touched me ,
All my ......
Previous engagements got ..
trifled,
As I riffled through my
Coolest Lp's.......
Little scuured,
Cause she keeps  flipping her hair and looking at me weird,
Like I don't know if she's gonna  cry or something wrong with me?
Her smile, mischievous,
Her eyes pouty ,
Sleepy .
Wanting?
Needing?
                something? ......
Seems like yesterday she was calling me names and making fun of me.....
I'm looking around sorta
Half feeling like a young king while secretly looking  for Allen funt,
And the candid camera team.
And now for some reason
I'm impersonating
007 the great  Sean Connery.
The world fell away into the abyss........
I dimmed the lights ,
Every motion I made
ended with me running my fingers through my featherd hair and striking a pose     ......
Her voice had a distinct metallic like static as  if my brain fixated on each grain of sound
I remember a high pitched crackling silence after she
Crinkled her nose
giggled and said comeer.....
Gesturing me with her finger.....
I carefully lowered the needle  ...
Onto the spinning record.....
Lover boy ,
"Take me to the top"
What's a poor boy to do ?
Is this some form of witchcraft?
I'm not in control,.
Yet ....
Then again ..
I feel like
I am ...... Or ..
I feel like maybe she is causing me ,
Or allowing  me,
Or letting me,
feel like I am.....
What kind of Vudu did she do
To me
She sat up half way
Until or face almost touched ....
Rested on one elbow
On my pillow    ...
No less
I saw glistening in her eyes .....
She looked deeply into mine .
I realized this girl I've crushed on for sooooooooooo long .  .
Was mine ....
After some time
I came to realize ....
She wasn't mine at all ....
I was hers ......
Her fragrance was intoxicating ...
I was spellbound and levitating into culpable bliss   .......
Tilting her head her eyes closed ...
She reached toward my face ....
I flinched ....... She smiled and said ...... It's ok ........
Her lips ... So soft ...... Hit wet
With mine ...
I closed my eyes and ....
Then


FIN............
I knew ,
The Epiphone ,
Instantly , I could see ,
No more mystery
My future became ancient history


I know why the female hero
Is called the Heroine!
My first addiction,
Tell me have you seen her?
caviler .......... I exist on a regimen
Of crow and "told you so"
My love life looms luminescent
So far away and distant as I
Lay awake and ..........
Reminisce
I tell myself I know
I know

I put  myself in this paradigm

I picked out this choker
Betrothed myself to Karma ....
Haven't seen the light of day,
Trying to find myself ,
With all this time to wallow
After chasing that sweet first high
Ohhhh my my
My whole life ......
I guarantee with a violent passion if ......
No when I'm let free
Finished my sentence ..... And my love light shines again ....
I'm gonna be the best the world has ever seen
You'll see  ..........
Im just sayin Karma!.
Geese loosen up on the leash
Your choking me!

Some things ...
"I know " I know....
Other things IDK  
I mean  . I think I know .
But........ I don't know.....!
yah know?

I know the shallow ....
Mostly hollow part
The empty fields .....
Burst forth with pain
And misery.......
I have fallowed them away ...
External me .......
Seeing everything clearly
Is not what brings to me
Good feelings .....
It's gritty......
Duality ........
Head in the sand ....
Avoiding normality.....
Looking cheerful and
No worries....
It's all good ....
Yup yop that's me...
Fatefully yours ....
Externally

In love ....or angered....
S

Sunset coral and pastel peach......
Reach for the stars ......
I touch you......
Invisible .....yet you see me...
Look right into me ..
Play with your hair......
Smile.......
Your eyes are magic......
You brought me broken
Unwanted to king ......
Unlocked these chains
Forever you will remain
The most desirable
I will protect your honor
Till my dieing day

i climb
i need to be lost
this cataclysmic loss is.....
its a matter of time
i climb
um i need space
clutched buckled
stuck
mental rickets
i need time
i climb ......
into my.....
im immobilized
super nova event sent my paradigm into
paradox
im not fine
i climb into
my mind
i.... feel like a child
um i feel im on
the out side
looking into
violent schism
***** steepens
i need time
its wet im lost
but not the way i need
im close to the rocks
i climb
in my mind
try to change
this violet hue
im a child
lost and numb from ............
abuse
self afflicting
an the noose tightening
My own personal bruiser
im in my mind
its an imature
jungle Gym
full of rhymes
this paradigm
of mine
the last great escape ..........
scheduled for
demo soon
MY GOD ......
FATHER I WASNT THERE WHEN .......
PLEASE
I STILL NEED YOU
IM LOST WITH OUT ......YOU
look at me no hands
Dad?
Dad!
Dad......
i climb

Freshly bereft of his final things
Trinkets which he had personally stitched
A little to tightly
to the tender part of innocent
Confused heart
and now .............like an aluminum bat
On a frigid day miles away from anything he knew
On the cusp of darkness and noway
To get back home
The pinch hitter slips in out of a shadow
Grinning evil to elbow and lets go wit a peach i tells ya
Oooh Charlie .......he got all of that one!
Man you aint kidden Mr Brown thats a grand slam......right to the back of his knees .
Involuntary functioning like a pythons squeeze expelled more breath
Than his lungs could ever hope to hold
The walls of which are sticky
Pressed to firmly are stuck ..........
He feels even more pathetic than he looks ..........all alone.     And its cold
I know its already been implied  silly
Im just tryin to drive that point home
Kneeling .........clothes way to big
Not wanting to come to terms with
His new lable
a vagabond all his good intentions
Vaporised in an instant
The wells of his eyes jutted out like
Soft red burlap sacks full of dark salty depths of painfull mystery ..............mouth open in wonderment face blueish red
veins bulging
Still unable to pull in any breath
Someone has broken the glass
And done the unthinkable
Flipped the ****** off switch labeled
Dont ever flip this ******* switch please
Yes a true maverick .......tragic ideology
Thinks hes hip but poor old chum
Not.......quite ....quick enough witt
And saddly enough thinks he knows it
And manges to mangle that into his way of thinking as a sort of keep himself from being taking advantage of..........problem is it still happpens only he doesnt see it as a problem .....
Cause he gives it away knowing...ly
They still laugh as they walk away with his money and steal his things
They carry heavy backpacks full of his
Dignity.
As he sits alone lieing to himself saying
"Someday theyll look back and say the grrrreatest things about me"
In the grand scheme of things
If nothing else ill be the one stable constant maybe somehow that will help them
What he doesnt know.....is that
When this cold day comes. Broke and broken .in dire need .
All these things haunting him
Feeling like a foolish tool
...............
That Donny Darko Day right before he frolicked away and swam in the lagoon of delirium.
He stepped into the kennel with his two massive dogs
Cut the chains and let the epic battle begin.
This time its to the death ......
And hes wanting the black one to win
Metaphorically  speaking
We all have two dogs within.
It what we use to get what we need
It represents who you are .
Because the dominate dog in you is the one that you feed.

That thought brought to you by our sponsor .
Who would like to remain anonymous.
Now lets get back to our story.
Already in progress.  

Shhhhhhh
Oh. Ok sorry.
Lets watch shall we?
Sshhhhhh
ill equipped to handle
The ferocity of deep disdain raging like a glowing vermillion crucible
Full of all the years riddicule
Going all the way back to school hood
Days and the hazing all the way through his marriage
His wife he pulled out of the ghetto
Like plucking the only ***** flower out of a prison yard
Adored her
put on a pedestal
His countenance fell
The day the laughter came from her lips this was his first glimpse into hell
They all try to tell him she was an infidel
He tried to forgive and forget
Till death do us part
My friend I love you
Ill be here to pick you up when you fall
.........
And for this he received a Judass kiss and his first dagger to his heart
Her response.............
I dont respect you because you took me back.
That was the day that **** Jagger slipped into his mind through the crack in his psyche
I thought i had a good life
I dont know how to *** it bayack
My whole world a night mare
and now I cant turn bayaaak ........
If i look back hard enough into the settin suuyun
My...............well you *** the gist rieeet?
He was the golden child trained to be a lover it was her that helped him
Discover ........ . .
To this dog eat dog world
He was an oddity.
A rarity .more than a novelty
More like a real commodity
Could be said a gem of considerable quality .
Clearly a priceless delicacy
For us to devour.
Lets feed.
Finnally his lung cavity began to spazam and as the air rushed in it ripped cold through the reeds in his vocal cords resonating so painfully
In convulsive loud  squelching yelps like that of a ******* sea lion beaten with a stick.
His pupils for a second went chatoyant
Then the whole eye went black
With a long blink ...... .
Curiosly a confident smirk emerged his cover washed away
And he rememberd what he was
Chuckling at his present circumstance.
That is only for a minute
quickly it became a sickning laughter
Maniacal and diabolical.
And you know what hes gonna do
Its the big pay back *******
Hes singing .a biker stolls into his path
He rips the jacket off his back throws his hands out and yells
*** punk .....
Saunters off like John wayne into the mist.
Tune in next week to frightening  conclusion of my unamusing debut
Called im not over the coocoo's nest im in it and i ate the cookoo
What?
Is that so rong
....i just love spelling that word rong

The taste of love once bitten  ambrosial  insatiable
Saffron infused whipped honey butter
The flavors of the colors plumb crazy purple
Candy apple red sugary sparkling white
Glossy ebony. Red cherry kukabura  licorice
Deep blackberry
soft glowing pink spiked with wisps of magenta ,coral and tastefully splattered
With clouds snowy white and airy.
The Mojave desert drenched
And still wet shimmering in hues of golds sparkling as seen through pouty  eyes.
The taste of passionate sweat
And and the ultimate quench
The tears of love
Oh the mere mention of which fills the well of my eye
Countless pillows saturated
From the seemingly endless nights
That should have been............
Instead i writhe alone, in a hot sauna ,glistening
Minds twistining in this insatiable plane
*** drive insain i m thinkin my brain stuck in puberty
Bristling with i wanna
And im cursed with a perfect pornographic
Memory in perpetual  purgatory
Im sick withit
I notice a whip of your hair , an extra long stare
The nap of your neck
That look of" i dont care if youre here or there
You are of no interest to me"
Whith respect i try to discretely slip away.
Im hypnotized with a bellicose glare thats saying
Dont you dare try to walk away from me.
Come to me later when im alone
You have something i need .!
My blood instantly boiling under your spell all the way home i san smell your gaze upon me.
I have no will i am your Renfield
Im in love with being sealed in your fate
And this seether you have me steeped in
Caged temporally is only temporary
I am whodini shifting Nosferatu
You thought you had me
Sorry i have you under me and you invited me in
I ve got a fever ........
etiquette and inhabitions obscured
Sleepy eyed smirk i picture you and I
In an oasis under an ****** blue sky.
You in a jean skirt
Compassed about by lush deep green
Your favorite song nothing you do could be wrong
Im outa my mind your twerkin
And i can almost see your. .........
<{****}>
kicked off the gong show for lude behavior
Thats just sillyness .
Seriously im lascivious
Enough about me all i want is everything
About you
Succulents thriving in the august month draped in a glistening canopy
Of moist oceanic breeze.
everything joyful inviting. caramels
Almonds, sticky sweet baklava......
Mangoes and sticky rice....
Thai ice tea and coffee.
Honey do dripping cloves and cinnamon........wild mountain blackenblueberry jumble pie with extra  crumble and saturday winter soup
And summer sunday fried chicken
Bliss .....concord grape claufatis Di Sorono with fresh squeezed murcotts
Whith a drizzle of chambord
Panne de homone
And the tickle of a little humming birds tounge flicking your earlobe
Felt but not heard
The flavors mixing
shake not stirred
The first drink youll savour and with a woulnded heart you will slide down to the bottom of the glass looking for more
Its such a rush that you chase it knowing its ultimately
What you live for
Wanderlust,indescribable wontedness,
Mysterious,intoxicatingly exotic
Dangerous cocktail of eclectic electricly charged concoctions
On the cusp of poisonous
depending whom you share it with
could be the breath of life
Releasing you from stress and strife........could be the kiss of death ..................
Could be a soulmate could be the best thing the world has ever seen ..........inspiring ...................creator of king a Queen ....
Nations are built and conquered by her
Mountains moved.
Its what makes life worth living.
Once smitten the world abounds
Heaven smiles
You bath water feels like milk
And smells like lilacs an hyacinth
Youre gowned in silks and satin
Everything becomes new
in vibrant pastels and unimaginable
Muse
Flavors mingle .....
Personally to me its..........
It starts with honey and black licorice sucrets
Turning to orange an whip cream then fresh crunchy cherries
Enhanced with the essence of you
Like the sugar cube on a stick
I pour my Absinthe through


And as our pallets change along with life
As they always do one thing remains constant
I follow my heart and
always winds up in you !

Ink ban.......
Dippin dinky donuts
Don't care where the drips land
***** coffee stained canvas
In contrast to splatter splashed crimson
Schism after schism ...........
I'm contemplatingvalot of things
Got my toes in the sand metaphorically
And trying to write poetry
on wet tissue with Red crayon.....
It's like drawing a schematic on a live moth wing,
Ampersand
all the poems
End up verbal ***** talking about
Making a video of me
Eating my heart out reciting
the unexciting recipes
I have tried and
asking how can I sell it as muck bang?

Within us lies.    
A spectrum wich lies.......
Telling us it ok ...
Once in awhile
To bend a little .......
Keep in mind .
It's the mirror who won't look you in the eyes......
Because you sabotage with compromise..........
weaken you ....
Basking in the shade of sorrows
Somehow down in the shadows of tomorrow's.........

In twine your mind and mine
Harmonize
Beautiful eyes
do not
Disguise
The brilliance behind them.
Mizzzzz......You
Honestly
Inspire me
to be
a better man
Leave me with desire  
My fantasy
Light my world on 🔥

Only you can
Measure the level of success,
The cost
Drive,
&
restraints.
The Quintacential
Pivital
Role each person
Plays.
The uncountable
Factors and reason behind
Each of these.
And within this
Quotient is the fact that you too
Indeed have obligation affluence to shape the people whom soround you.
Keep in mind
The way you treat them will reflect on the way you will be treated too.

Role
Each individual,plays

I dont fit in well
Not in hi society
I get drunk
On the pain you give me.
I bottle it and let it rot
Oh you thought you
Knew me?
**** trigger please,
I love so hard its innocent
Like i honestly cant see whats happening
Because im happy,,
I can fly
I dont look for my love to play me like a sport
Then when i get shot down
I fall just as hard at terminal velocity
I break my wings im wraught and at aught with everything i dont understand why .....,.my eyse sting i cry ...,,,,,im on my knees in the dark about alot of things i get high , and im alright  im on to better things .
I get  higher and oooooh whats this a bear trap?
I love these things
Lets see what  happens if i pull out my heart drop it in
SNAP
Oh woe it  bit me
I knew this was gonna happen
But somehow i didnt know it would be  this bigga thing

I sojourn  silently,
Under the indigo blue marquee ,
The Grand masquerade
That's me there ......
Crooked crown ,
Distant stare,
Wearing out my only mask
Upside-down frown,
tattooed tear under my left eye
Free.......
If only I could be ......
Free from this fractured lucidity
Licked by the leathery whips
Of yesterday's !
Belly laughing and joyful things
Obscure as time moves on...
But the secrets I keep
Never fade!

I no longer ponder on
How do they get away with that
I sonder
And wonder why
Do they get away with that
After anger sets in
I remember they never do
Make no mistake
When youre in sin
Youre guilty
Wether
We get caught or not

It's not an entitlement
Ya'll need to curb that...
K Fur real though
And it's not conceit.
And yes I do  know
The difference between
Want and need.......
Two totally different things
Except,
to me  they share one thing
They're are both something I need!

Idle hands too many demands
Young american
Green . ...
Experiencing too many things
Confusing
Pride....hurt
During .....
Influential times
at the confluence of life
Difficult to comply .
Hold it inside .
No
let no one
See you cry.
Peers pressure
Peers pry
Blue skies
No console
Young american
No goals
Cries alone .....
Leaves home
Environment all
Conditioning
Mentally
Monkey see monkey
Chastised
Monkey confused ask why.
Shuned . .
Sinking back stunned
Backed like a ferril cat
Back to the wall
Age....hypercritical ,
Volatile,
Monkey see hypocrite
Monkey no like
Heard follow me.
Now don't do what I do
Do as I say.......
Monkey does both
Learns machiavellian ways..
Stays young
Has fun
Has problems
Says he ha ha has
None......
Monkey gets shot......
By
Cupid .....
Has daughter and son....
No change
Young american......
Monkey
Mom and Dad gone.
What will monkey
Teach
Young american
Monkey
Legacy
Strong
What's wrong
No like my
Monkey song?
Sorry
I do what I like.
Ryde or die.......
Yuh.
Adios .....
........
*******.

I am nothing special
Not compared 2 u
My color is a silent hue
Oh beautifull you
magical incredible bliss
My muse
The reason i exist
All i need is parchment
A fine point gell

In indigo blue i write .
You read
And when you do
You carry me away
Through you i live out my dreams
So you see im not as great
As you
Although i love
Thank
And have become
GREAT.......FULL FOR YOU
THANK YOU FOR READING

Why then .   .  .shall mine,
Heart inner walls and galleries.
Be not draped about
In such lush crushed velvet drapes and tapestries?
In plush deep daydreamy hues
Scarlet,crimson, or sanguineous ,
Which ever term
you use.
As long as it depicts the color of my muse ....
Intricate and brash
Yet refined raw and delicate

Variegated elegantly with
varied shades,
Each new love I invite in
Having artistic differences ,
As they often do
prefer Carte Blanche
To make love look
How they feel it.
For peradventure,
If I keep decor from an old love,,
Its the same as making them to blame for past pain.......
If your looking to loose
Thats the game for you..
I used to play it that way
Now I play the blues.
Over paid my dues.
Soul still bruised
Still feel the noose
And the short leash
Id run to the end
And thrash like,a spastic
They have all trained in
Emotional war tactics
Any attempt to fight back are in vain.
Their urbane
Splash stains of ratsbane,
Purple me ......
Then leave......
All vanity .
Ampersand,
Lies imbue questionnaires,
And rosy bruises replace
All this superfluous covering where love used to sojourn so beautifully.
Now the walls are a pale glossy sorta yellow .
even though the crimson flow of slow blood flow through it  .
Scars of  unwant
Disallow a chance to stain them..
Oh Love will thou come back to me again.... .
I adore thee ,
I am empty.
A fresh canvas I offer thee.
Yours wantingly
........Me.

Which is of the worse?
Washing dishes without soap,
Praying without hope,
Showering without a wash cloth ,
Or readily saturating your social garden with succulent hearsay because it makes you feel cool?
And when a plant withers you deny responsibility
Turn a blind eye and hope it will uproot and hide .
So no one will know you poisoned it?

Oh sure you are the security ,
And they seem to be
A true friend indeed,
And yes ,
Trust and believe
It is better to give
Than recieve!
Because this means
You have more than what it takes  to satisfy your needs....
But when they become impatient
Waiting on your payday .......
Lemme say this
These people become
accoutrements you don't need?!?

I suppose it could be said ive become an icon clast .....
While the shallow over egotistical continually impede ...
Saying slow down and look at the big picture ....
I see it clearly ....... Always ....
I'm frantically making adjustments and provisions ...
Augmenting what I can to align things so it becomes the way I want it to be.......
The problems lie in the fact that they can't recognize the effort or the outcome ..  

And so when I fall short .... There right there to tell me I ****** up.... Never knowing they were the reason why   . .
When I can find time.
Alone I cry.

the pain grows  
the needle  
tears the skin
one end of the I.V
in my vien
the other end my pen
the blood flows

i drag it across parchment
one last time to re-live.
the pain in a controlled way
through words ,metafives and wit

its gibberish cryptic  
a poor attempt at poetry
i know
i rant as a child
for a short while
i feel a smile
remove the I.V.
put on the masque
and im back in
denial

Uhhhm.....
It is what it is .......
Untill it was ....
But I really can't say
It always was ......but I do know
It was is before it was ....
Was...
And I can't garauntee it will always be........uhhhm
Is or was or will or could or would or can or even should
How could I?

Is ..
And then ....
Was.......
......
Smirk .
Mike Drop....
.....
Dueces....

The sadistic muse is back
Dawning my doorway
Trying
To draw me into anthother fight
I cant loose
So im .
Going
Grimaced and slithering away .
Crying in so many ways
to the all reclusive in
Lachrymose
Confused.
Sullen and crestfallen.
What can i do
Point of view

...
Like an involuntary seed,
.......
If it germinates ......
It's no longer a want .......
It's a haunting obsession
Causing urgency to do right
And bravery imbues you.....
You exchange fate for destiny.
Your life becomes currency .......
What an honor to spend ....
When it's for freedom .....
Sending shivers.......and delivers
Ripples through generations of time....
The legend of you and your comrades...
Lifting the weak and subdued to new heights...
clearing the minds
They bask in the righteous
Battle you waged .....
And the good fight you fought ....
They howl from painful memories
Bittersweet tears onto victory
Strike fear to the heart of the enemy
Rising up like the sun ....
They shall carry on inspiring hope ...
As an honor to pay homage in remembrance of you....

It s like an integrated autonomous innocent being
You can't see but you will fight to protect and preserve above
Everything .. ... .
It's lyke an .......
It's like an artesian well
Spring inside......springs ..
It's like an incurable vine
Twined spiraling up your spine .
A separate entity......  
It feeds .....from the spring ....
In your mind you justify ,appeal
Try to reason with it....  
To no avail . ....
It's lycan.......
It's like An addiction ,
Lycan insatiable yet righteous greed ......
A healthy one indeed ......
Self perpetual.......
There's not a problem .....untill someone tries to take it from you.........
And It's lycan .. ......
Stiffens the spine .... .
And the hackle flicks up like needels.........
flings sweat into mist.. .. 
Eyes turn black ,
Lip unfurling .
K9's exposing.....
Coiling back .....like a tensioning
Spring........
Won't be treated like a dog being
Beaten for loyalty......... 
Bites the fist that swings ..  ..
And the taste of blood is sickeningly sweet......
It lycan unwritten law  
You have not authority
Nor reason ......
Dont touch me ....
Leave me be .....
It's lycan............
It  becomes lycanthropy ....
Don't touch my freedom ......
I'll bite everyone and you can't fight this infection .....
Freedom is out there and I'm
Lycan animal with the spirit and appetite to win ...
And I'm hungry like the wolf ......
Never give in ........
The bear attacks in vain .....
The wolf pack will not be tamed!

Nuances
The essence of you..............

My soul bruised ....
I used to be
Unstable ,
Some called me Cain..........
That's not my name........
I'm still me ....
Psychosomatic
Dichotomy......
It's not me....
Your labels
Trigger lost time...
Once I saw how
Little you thought of me .......
Past generations
From the grave groaned hauntingly
Mourning me......
I felt the splitting
I lost color in one eye.......
The other looked away.......depth and time feels strange.....
I tried remain the same......
I knew the cruelties
You went through  and how the effects would likely be recompensed upon me........
I could not be swayed ......
To the depths and widths of my soul
Eternal wells flowed love .......
For eternity.    
For you.........
I spoke kindness ...
Gently asked please
Never assumed anything........
Never told you
You had to do anything ........
All in vain........
You and your games ......
Degrading me in front of family and friends .........
In private I cried ...
You mocked me......
I love you ....
You used me........
I tried to love you back to life .....you killed  the better half of me......
My purpose was to love you and only you..........
I held on too long
You broke your promise,your vow,my heart......
Forced me to be what you made me...
I am trying  not to change.........
I'm not Able...
Some call me Cain.....
I say that's not me ....yet........
I feel his blood course through
My veins...........
In my mind I see
In my dialouge I say.....
I never had a brother.......
I'm still Me ......
Same same.  
. That's not my name......
Who are you
?
Me?
?

I remember itchy red eyes laying awake to daydream of you,
Waiting by the rotary phone .......
It rings ...
My heart's in my throat......
I lean on one elbow
super smug mug.
Avocado green plush rug.......
Jazzy radio deep voice
Like cool crushed velvet
I speak right into your ear .
Hellllllllo?
Uhhhm what....
No I don't want to take a survey  
.........
Dammmm it
Slam the phone ......
Then fold my hands under my head .......
Smile , cross my feet and stretch
And pick up where I left off.

Lost in love with you
On a hot august night  ...
I fantasize about ..
You fantasizing about menow I fantasize that I could go back to those days and catch a feeling or two.........

My love is
So much Grander
Than I can manage to be.....
For You.......
Yet when you cast a gaze upon me .....
I am utterly convinced I can
With such ease gracefully......
Deeper than words could be writ..... .
In the universe beyond the highest tip.....
So much my dearest friend .....
I wake facing you...
With utmost gratitude........
I am consumed ....
If that fateful day shall ever darken our door and you feel the need to leave .......
Never be shamed ....I will never loose love for you ....and
Still be fulfilled....
Forevermore ......
Simply because you loved me

Anticipations of grandeur  
Catch fire
my mind.......
Then burst into brilliant
Arrays of
Stupidities
Oh sure  

.......

I still have opportunities

Just as every word has come to fruition
In fact there is literally a new addition every day.ultimately each one is absolutely designed streamlined and scrutinized by leading etymologist
They by definition definitely have a specific meaning
Unfortunately with slang and dialect an every thang most are used improperly T.B C.

How long has it been ..........
Can you even remember when......
You had joy and
So much fun....
That when you woke the next day.....
There was no way...wash away.
The goofy permasmile ......
Stop and listen
Remember to never forget
The one
essential component
The crucially
Vital element.
After you vamp off everything
Else
The string that make the twine
That makes the ties that bind
At the
epi-center
The common factor that I find pleasing.
And that is you ..
Your self
Yourself and more importantly
Your innerchild
The faintest nuance of you
Floats me into
A lazy sunny day swimming care free in the residual joy you bring .
Your the reason
I hear the birds sing the reason I love ice cream.
You are my blackberry almost as much as "the one you
Will always leave that some one for....."
I whole heartily
Know all of you
You simply are the cause and effect of every
Aspect of the most bestest happiness that could be dreamed.
A million poet
In their prime
In their perfect
Place to write.
Given every vocabulary and dialect
Future past and present
A million years
Then repeat a million times .
Epochs splechlops,
My dear sweet
Love ......love doesn't even hold a candle
To one second
Of one simple essence of you.
To me you are
GRAVITY.
We the world's and I revolve around you.
Without you
There is nothing.

Precisely what was it
That you meant
When you said
What exactly do you mean
Before you answer that
I need you to know,
That despite every thing you thought of me
Second hand hearsay filled with speculations
I didn't do
What I didn't say
I wasnt gonna do yesterday
So you know it iz what it iz
If you would like to fix what ever it was
Done deal I mean cmon were men
Do we need to really go there
And do our little apologies?
Hey we're friends
Who really cares
Rieeet?
But seriously
What exactly did you mean
When you said
Precisely what was it I meant

Cynical monotonous forensic

Deliberate old cold hearted fiend

You know if it wasnt for my species

You would not exist

Our kind worship you And **** and die

You are a wretched disease when i find a way ..........i will not hesitate ..........
I will give my life if thats what it takes
To **** time.

If I could say just one thing.....
Then.........
Well?.........
I Guess .........
.....I would!
.......................
Untill then
Ill just be over here
Loudly and sayin way too much
About nothing that matters!

Countenance the opposite of happiness
And we'll rested
Stressed past the point distress
Ohhh have I stated Im under oath
Ok
I wasnt sure
what I am truly sure is that man pacing back and forth
In front of me is sorely frustrated
Face grimaced
stone cold unbreakable stare
When he gives you that look
Whhooooee. I mean boy howdy
That is just sumthin to behold
Who doggies he real good at this game
I hope he's enjoyin it as much as I do
He looks winded and awful sweaty
He keeps loosening his tie
It must not be working cause
He's looking all crazy walk in past me
And there he goes doin it again
Then suddenly he turns
So suddenly ****** his face straight at me
Teeth showing and man am I gettin that look
Boy he got me good  
That one was so quick it bout startled me
I jumped in my seat and winced an even yiped
A little bit
I musta look a litle like I was gonna cry or something
I looked at the judge and he was kinda chuckling
I looked back at Larry the lawer
And he was shaking and had his hands cupped and look in
Like he was begging
I smirked and gave him a wink
I wanted him ta know I'm a big fan.
Now he looked down and almost started to cry
This is what he wanted to say
" can you please not answer the question with a question"
And we just stared at each other for the longest time
And I think he was trying to hypnotize me
His eyes were just a twitchen and shooting all over after about two minutes I held him leaning closer as if ta sorta carefully pull the answer from me
So I slowly leaned back and folding my arms crossed my leg over the other knee smiled and said
" well
......... now
Larry is that a question you really wanna ask me?"