Aye wait hold up
Can i get
A red hot second
Flash freeze my
Life
Let me defragment
Gimmy a ****** filter so
I can see things
From your
Peeps
Collective perspective
Stop!!!!!
I absoloutely
Object.
Hey hell no
Seriously !
Youre using that
Microwave way too much!
So what if it
Saves you time
Cant you see?
Its shortening
Your life!
And you tellin me
Im different
I dont fit right?
Maybe its wrong of me
To tell you sorry
My spirit is to strong
You can **** me
You just cant
Break me
Make me mesh
The way you want me
Let me......
If you will
If you have any will left of your own...
Elaborate or expand on my apologies first off i will not force you in like manner the way you do.
I will only suggest you
Recompense the same respect.
I
As a
Courtesy have freely given
You.
Please look into my eyes
When I say
Im sorry ?
I mean
Im sorry
But
I cannot
Appologize
Maybe for my spelling .
Thats humor
Its ok you dont
Have to
Laugh....
Your suppression of you
Has left you cynical
And detached from anything
You label not critical
Where
Im wondering
Will
This way of thinking
Be
Upon
Your Day
Of reckoning?
Will it bring you comforting
Knowing
You have been so very
Successful
In your training
So much so
No ones standing
Bedside wailing?
Thats food for thought
Thats all
Im just saying
If you are
Honestly
Worried about me
I appreciate those feelings
Same wave
length?
Were not even
On the same spectrum
In truth
You lie
Pervert truth
Without need
Im not
Abnormal
Or an
Anomaly
There are plenty of
Me
Out there somewhere
And
These battles
Ive fought
have not
Given satisfaction
Ive become aggravated
With condescending
Questioning
With the higher audible
And awe smilling
Maybe
Im an integeral gear
Within
A custom
Environment sent back from the future
To establish hope
To the emaciated
Forged without feelings
To react and follow
Hirelings
Submissively.
Like drones
Not me
Sorry
I........
......
.....
...
..
..
.

We
Are
**** Sapien
Primate
Animalia
**** absconditus
**** adaptabilis
**** animalis
**** hypocritus
**** superior
**** poetica
In regards of me and you
I see a resemblance
In the last two
Same species ?
True!
Same team?
I used to think.
I still do.
I wonder if you
Still think
Or do you
Just
Do
?
The difference is greater
Than
The similarity
I AM ME
who
Are
...
..
.
?

Hot august night
I stand alone
Basquing in soft moonlight
Upon a mountain high
Emerging from solid granite
That which is too often
taken for granted .... ..
Ice cold pure

Life giving elixir  
Undaunted little snow melt  stream trickles
Glistening ......

Into a deep pool
...and
in
Dropping
To one knee ....
I think of Guideons men  
Keeping my head up
As my hand dipped in
It was here I actually
Felt my heart stop ...
.      . .     .
I like to fancy my self a mountain
Man..
I'm not
But I'm also not a
CITIY-OT
(Thank you Terry and Twila)
An something for sure
More burdened by gravity
Than me
It
Was
Bi-pedal
Cobble sized stones
Underfoot like
***-gravel
.....
Unrecognizable
Low frequency grunting
20 SECOND STRIDES
MY EYES WENT BLACK
INVOLENTARILY
LIFE ENDING SCARRY
my heart stopped
Instantly
..
Squeezed my chest
To stop me from breathing.
At this level of fear
Every part of you  body
Becomes independently
Gob smucked
At you're stupidities
Ears ringing
Nostrils flared
Dizzy
listing ,
In disbelief completely at what I just heard
Not even a thought
Was brave enough to caught thinking a thought
Branches cracked
.. . ..
Three count them three full strides.
I still feel it ..
To speak of it ...
My skin bumps and tightens .
I actually feel my veins hurt.
Inside my elbows and wrists
That stinging feeling
You get
When someone pulls the hammer
And the barrel touches you're skin.
Fingers on the trigger
And there not stable
I don't care
How Billy bad *** you are
It burns
Like if it was capable
That part of you would abandon ship...
Believe me
4
miles up
jagged trails along cliffs
Un-lit.  
The only other way .  
......jump...  
Ten seconds gone by
Heart goes
Ka-thunk
I swear I could hear it
And the blood
Goes ka..wishhsss
And then stops
As
My whole
Body says
***
Are you serious
Now I am
Serious - lee.
Ish
Considering the jump thing
Ya know if I could maneuver
Like the parachuters.
And fly till I found a soft
Deep river .....an...
Maybe
...
Ridiculous
And then again
Ka thunk ..  
Kawishsss
Almost as if it were a swallow
Like ya know my heart
Is goin Gulp
*** are we gonna do
And stopped again
Now my skins crawling away cause I heard it breath .
Im
Not doin this
We
Meaning my body parts and I
Heard something
And as we were
**** clinched
Frozen like a statue of glass
Trying to digest this
And while listening
We succumb
To the paralyzing
Fact .
That.

It ...
Is
Also listening


My face 3 inches off the ground walkin on finger tips  
Like the grinch .all the way to my truck .
Like literally  my heart and guts an everything
Huddled together silently.
Shaking
Holdin each other peakin out my back like it was a tail gait.
Even the three or 15 times
I ran my face into a rock or tree
It was without sound
Not one milli second lost in righting my self and catching every rock stick whatever
Placing it quietly at the sound of speed.
Bleeding
...honestly ....
Every injury
Every one
I issued
I O U's
Un locking my truck took centuries.
Finally I yelp as I get in .
Thinkin I'm in the movies and
It's gonna get me..


Dead battery .
Day light emerging
I'm bright eyed
Bloodshot
Covered in sweat .
But bright eyed
Back  packer comes out of the bushes screaming
***.


PLEASE
TELL ME YOU GOT
SOMETHIN
TO. ...

DRINK !
?
I said ya
You ok
He says yah .

Wuuuul no
I m hella hung over and thirsty
I said you didn't hear anything?
He said .. .
WAdda ya mean..

You meet you mingle
Some walk on by
Some you loose some gain
You look at some
Some you peruse
Others conjure contemplation
And still others rub you the wrong way
And although lately it seems fewer. And fewer
There are still a few who rub you the right way
Then there is the one in a million
Which is the craziest thing to me
Each one of us is" that"
to
at the very least
Someone and never knowing it.
That magic elusive "one" causing delusion
The ambrosial conclusion to the unanswerable
Desires cajoled from my sole.
Turning lucidity into liquid
Melting away what i see into a solution
Infusing whatever surrounding you
Into an inviting colorful obscured
Chem trail .......
Oh so I...........
Trail on behind
Feeling like i wanna touch you
Maybe i do
And  although  i feel you
You dont ...........
And so I try
Harder i fail. ...
Maybe you arent real......
Oh I cry trying to be the one you need.
I get caught in you magic
Oh how i cry because  the biological clocks  turning
Im the tragic maverick blazing a short trail to your next
Restraining order
Im burning my best years in vain
Theoretically i guess ..........
Well sorta then again i suppose ill never know
Languishing in madness saturated in sadness
Holding on to something thats gone
Or even worse seductively ****** into the abyss
Gasping for air grasping for what was never there
In a pit of despair.
Oh and i feel so hollow in letting go anything concerning me
yearning
Oh why cant you see
I just want to hear you say my name the pain
Takes me to the edge of insanity
You poor thing im learning
  you have no feelings
Oh my tears rain down like a tsunami
Hailing rocks sulfer and fire
Im hanging precariously one finger from a mountain top
Of broken dreams. Ive been trying to fix
Everyone is calling for me
And no one hears me
I scream because friends who can still see me
Try and try to steer me away from you
Being pulled out of youre magic is causing my life to bleed.
I say leave me
I would rather die than to give up trying to reach her .and so i go on dieing as a cumbersome phantom
Still loving nothing but you
my feet never touching the ground.
Oh I see now im closer .
I am one of the colors flowing behind you
And im a little happier living in the residue of you!

Engulfed in a myriad of savage memories
Mournfull
Memoirs
Forlorn
Sworn to keep
Buried  deep
With my mind
..Too many..
Re-surfacing
Trembling
Tremors
Chained
Face to face
With these
Regretful things
Like rotting
Carcasses
I cry and try
I swear its not
....Me...
Yet I remember
These deeds
Sickningly
Somehow are
Simply
Unforgetable.
dichotomy
Is it
We
....Haunt....
.....I....
Dont want
To see
Wretched
Inconsolable
Muttering
I mumble
Unwittingly
I said the
Wrong thing
Lightning
Bristling
Psyche
Splitting
.....Birth.....
..No..­
Oh No
Its not me
....Respite....
Finely i can hide
....no....
I said its name
Up from the dank
I
Sank
Into bliss.
Again
.
..
.........
.........
..
.
Like treasure maps
The grains of life.
Are formed in much same way as the
Strongest
steel
Forgings
Vermillion
Mr hyde pacing
Ranting
Murmurs
Chiding
Backbiting
Worms into my
dreams
compassed about by
These kodak moments he keeps pacing
Lurking
Looking
For more leverage


cursed me with
Crimson paintings
Envoking screams
Hide; let sleeping dogs lie    
Lets let it go
§^¤NO¤^§
THEY KEEP
PUSHING
US
Back past the groves of i dont know.
Wretched leaching
Friend back
So low
Solo
So go
Deep in the suffering hollow.
Thickets
So dense and forboding.
.years past the last spatial light where the madness....
Gets dunk off darkness
A raging
inferno
Cant even glow
In this
desolate  
  underbelly
So go hyde .....

Frozen in motion
.....Doing .....
?
The same
Stupid
Thing
I
Typically
Do
Back to back
Olympic Gold medalist
Believe me.
Im
Good at this.
King
👑
Of the
Stupid crown wearing stupids wear in
I not only wear mine stupidly
I take the crown .
I wear mine the stupidly-ist
!
Metaphors
Or
Putting
Axioms
Into
Parables
To enable
Other cultures to glean
For

I think
......

Weeeell
....I guess
Really ..
I think ,
I think
Too much .
And no that wasn't a stutter or typo.
Here I go again ...
Ready?
I think
What I'm trying to do.
Is talk or,
Ok.
Type my way through
Pain
Emotionally speaking.
Using cryptic
Nursery rhyme
Type,
punny
Little one
Line
Play on word
Umm..
Sayings ....?
IDK
(Axioms I suppose if you will .
Not in prose
No!
Yes I do wish it were so
And although
I'd like to think so
Uhhm yah!
Uhhh
No.
Im no pro
And yet I digress
And usually
I hide in poetry
I guess to escape
Coming to grips with this .....
Or these .
Whatever this and these are . ..
Hang ups or addictions
By products of being I'll equipped
With the appropriate tools to handle unprecedented situations
And swept under the big **** carpet with self medicating
And of course self appointed
Authority
To write my own prescriptions
HEY
I DONT JUST HAVE ISSUES
I GOT
SUBSCRIPTIONS.
it s like the other day I was reading psychology today .
( I don't want to talk about it)
(No seriously.)
Ya actually it was yesterday
And the article read
" NO MATTER WHAT !
WHAT EVER YOU DO DONT PUT THIS OFF ONE MORE DAY .!
READ IT NOW!
I started to read it and fell asleep
.... So I wake up ..and it's today ..so is it still today or because I technically fell asleep ye...s..t..erday
Should I ...
Uhm?
.. .ehhh
Let's save that for another day
K

Back to the .
Show

I sometimes  
Find myself whitty
Others may find
Themselves
Offended
With in the way I can get explicit
I like the raw side ?
true to life
Gritty
Gripped in
Pretty
Euphemisms
I think I would rather feel
That instant pain of a slap
Followed by tears and a passionate
Kiss
Than the soul ******* ache
Leaching life
Away living
Day to day
With the one

The one....


Gulp

My once
....one.

And only

Soul mate.  
Who pretended
....Ill
Never no why
Said she....
Lov ...e.
...d
..........M....
....
Nnnnnn
No secretly she hated me .
Awe geeze
Where the
H
E
Double hockey sticks
Wuz I goin with this.
Maverick
Of the spastics ..
I'm like wh
Oh yah.
Heh
..
Pardon me
Yadda yadda
I'm witty
Pretty
Words
Let's see
Oh ok
So I can be explicit and gritty
......
Some say hey it's unexpected
Eclectics call it eccentric
Others read only the top layer and say woe that's too close to reality
Still lie
Say dude!
Thats ******* cool yo!
Oh they don't even know.
Then there is the few
The ones
The only ones
Persuading gravity
The truest ones that's mean
The
Most .. .
.  ... .
Wait for it
The may like yeah.
Or they may
Nay say it.
They may even say its ****** stupid and ******...
Ok
Food for thought. .
(
More like cry myself to sleep)
What I'm tryin to say is
" Like it or not .
Some people say they love ya and take a bullet for you ...
These ones who never correct you .
Really stuck a knife in you're back with a paper attached saying
I'm stupid but dont tell me.
So The ones you need to cherish
I guess are the beautiful ones that tell you.
Rieeeet?
Right!
Wait.
did I say that right? I mean yah I write,
And yah right handed.
And I know I'm right
I just don't  
Know if I'm wrighting it
Right

My field of dreams was a sanctuary i could always count on
A seclusion
i fled to often
But now its
Barren silent and
Fallowed
taped off pending
The investigation and
An eerie
brooding storm cloud
Has moved in stops me
And im empty and
Hollow
Forcing me to face...........
Me .........
The field of fantasy is open
And i could go
But in order to do that i
Have to weather thhe storm
Emerging from the gloom of my memories
Staggering
Drenched in retrospect
The effect is
Bout the same
Worn out and blue
Tangled mangled torn
In too many ways

Take great stock in the way you
see
The reason
why you do
the things
The way you do
Make thine own
blade
Without care for cost or labor
Love it
own it
hone it
know it intimately
Never hesitant even in slumber be ye
Vigilant
Without you're heart
You become irrelevant
protect it
Always daily , continually
Nurture it
listen to it
Search it throughout
From mount
To deep vale
Any vine
or branch oddly shape or in thine
way trail it  to the heart
If it's attached to vanity
, envy
, coveting or strife
sever it completely
Uproot it cleanly
Burn it imediately
lest it become quickly
too much for you
Surely it will with a quickness
Flowering with a
soury sickening sweet scent
And secretly defecating seeds
Already germinated and becoming bitter roots filling
you're insides with vines of poisonous pride
Constantly like a moth to a flame feeding on you internally the pungent stench altering your brain
Leaving you alone and cold at death
Still seeking fame making a mockery of you an defaming you're once good name