Our want should not
Surpass our needs!
Prone to podsnappery ,
The term human race ,
Contrary to popular belief
Is not a  communal  competitive
Relay with the trophy of prosperity to all whomsoever
Shall win..... Infact there is no destination at all.
This gauntlet we run is tribunal!
Let me ask you this.......
Will "we" ever mean "all" ?
I mean it does when I say
We have to have something
To take the focus away from our deeds.
So the day we decided that we need a leader .......
Was a day of infamous treachery.
With our mouth  we said ,
"It is our wish to bow down and
Become followers......
In our hearts as individuals we said ," I don't want to be held accountable"!
My own heartbeat disturbs me
Like a muffled drum I hear the chant from everyone ,
So long ago ...... I guess it could be said that "our"ancestors  may have done some questionable things  .......
Listen ...... Not my family though ,
No!
And that's not me ......
We were on your side.....
Belief is in the eyes of the controller ....
Gass lit , "we "  "the people"
Pretend to be hypocrite,
eminent domain , manifest destiny!
Sons and daughters,
Mother's and father's elders and babies,
**** pillage and slaughter.......
Red man Blacks and Jews,
Just to remind you that even pedigrees have flees ....
"We" are nothing
As long as we follow the scapegoats bleats .
Sycophants in denial ,
We leave a trail of unimaginable grief ....... For what?
Money ? That isnt real!
Imaginary boundaries ?
"They" are different ?
"We" are better ?
Are we ?
Who are we?
I am me
Being different is what makes us the same.
Let's not try!
Let's "be" SAME TEAM"
It's my dream ..
I know I'm not the only one!

Indulge yourself ,
Drink from this cup
That Alice  just left me,
Do you see what I see?
I see me wondering why ?
Why do I create a third person
Within my mind ,
Only to view , silently .....
Me .
Looking spry and dressed well,
Giving the wisest council to broken hearted friends or family
Wellll I guess to anybody...
And almost simeoutanesly
In view of those people years in advance ,
Prospered well from it....
And discussing it amongst each other and my heart feeling
Vindicated by seeing the admirations from the third person.......
So why is it from my heart I see my mind as something great,
Full of wisdom and the humblest person I know ... I know lol.
With certain assets in certain aspects I can shine like the facets of a jewel ....
when my mind views my heart....
Long heavy sigh .......
It's a fool,
A tool,
Not cool .....
Slight left side drool .
I'm goin to sleep .
And then I think ....
Hmmmm
If I had another brain.......
It would be lonely.......

I sojourn  silently,
Under the indigo blue marquee ,
The Grand masquerade
That's me there ......
Crooked crown ,
Distant stare,
Wearing out my only mask
Upside-down frown,
tattooed tear under my left eye
Free.......
If only I could be ......
Free from this fractured lucidity
Licked by the leathery whips
Of yesterday's !
Belly laughing and joyful things
Obscure as time moves on...
But the secrets I keep
Never fade!

I suppose it could be said ive become an icon clast .....
While the shallow over egotistical continually impede ...
Saying slow down and look at the big picture ....
I see it clearly ....... Always ....
I'm frantically making adjustments and provisions ...
Augmenting what I can to align things so it becomes the way I want it to be.......
The problems lie in the fact that they can't recognize the effort or the outcome ..  

And so when I fall short .... There right there to tell me I ****** up.... Never knowing they were the reason why   . .
When I can find time.
Alone I cry.

Meanwhile  back at the bungalow.......we return to the disturbing scene,
The unsung hero
Off center ,struck a pose ,
Face grimaced ,
Still ,
Stoic ,
Alone ............
Not counting
Toys in the attic......
That and the carnage of collateral damage.......
Covered in the remains
Of bags he brought full of
Everything from morality to mortality,intentions,malignant vengeance .....and open ended scenarios fallen crest ego and
Self induced ticks and twitches
Wraught by  a lifetime of  
"shoulda said ,wished I woulda and coulda been "
All these ,
And all his family and friends
Pretend to be shocked at
Cationic  discontinued
***** boy they once counted on....
Gone   too far into his psyche
Burning the midnight oil
On how far can we
Leave behind the point
Of no return
To learn if it could be
A correlation to the feeling free...
Or is it a paved path into a
Wasteland he's hunting for
Anything that be more
Fulfilling than being high
Up on the watch tower .wondering why ....
Are they running and asking why


Alone
In the gloaming

Motionless.

Stoic
see me
Ground zero in the beginning
The faze of the  full moon caught in the eclipse of a maddening
****** of crows

A hidden  maelstrom grows
The quest continues...

Metaphorically

As  fractal tracks flow
Following the personified  Donnita Darko down rabbit holes
Underground she gives in to easily .......
Conditioned to believe
That domestication
Equals castration.....
Slips out before the train leaves the station........
On
Nocturnal  
Internal I go
We find
What I thought this entire time ...
The simple complicated truth
Is ..... This.......
Idk!

It's like a need......
...
Like an involuntary seed,
.......
If it germinates ......
It's no longer a want .......
It's a haunting obsession
Causing urgency to do right
And bravery imbues you.....
You exchange fate for destiny.
Your life becomes currency .......
What an honor to spend ....
When it's for freedom .....
Sending shivers.......and delivers
Ripples through generations of time....
The legend of you and your comrades...
Lifting the weak and subdued to new heights...
clearing the minds
They bask in the righteous
Battle you waged .....
And the good fight you fought ....
They howl from painful memories
Bittersweet tears onto victory
Strike fear to the heart of the enemy
Rising up like the sun ....
They shall carry on inspiring hope ...
As an honor to pay homage in remembrance of you....

It s like an integrated autonomous innocent being
You can't see but you will fight to protect and preserve above
Everything .. ... .
It's lyke an .......
It's like an artesian well
Spring inside......springs ..
It's like an incurable vine
Twined spiraling up your spine .
A separate entity......  
It feeds .....from the spring ....
In your mind you justify ,appeal
Try to reason with it....  
To no avail . ....
It's lycan.......
It's like An addiction ,
Lycan insatiable yet righteous greed ......
A healthy one indeed ......
Self perpetual.......
There's not a problem .....untill someone tries to take it from you.........
And It's lycan .. ......
Stiffens the spine .... .
And the hackle flicks up like needels.........
flings sweat into mist.. .. 
Eyes turn black ,
Lip unfurling .
K9's exposing.....
Coiling back .....like a tensioning
Spring........
Won't be treated like a dog being
Beaten for loyalty......... 
Bites the fist that swings ..  ..
And the taste of blood is sickeningly sweet......
It lycan unwritten law  
You have not authority
Nor reason ......
Dont touch me ....
Leave me be .....
It's lycan............
It  becomes lycanthropy ....
Don't touch my freedom ......
I'll bite everyone and you can't fight this infection .....
Freedom is out there and I'm
Lycan animal with the spirit and appetite to win ...
And I'm hungry like the wolf ......
Never give in ........
The bear attacks in vain .....
The wolf pack will not be tamed!

Look deeply into my eyes
Deep enough that I may know
You understand me.....
Give me vantage to see the real you
So I will have a clear conscious.
An I won't have to pretend
The pain you caused me
Was not an accident.
So I can fade you into my shadow and never need to see you again!