Spent my life , like currency I hadn't earned...  
Winds of vanity , filled my sails of pride,
Ooooooooh ....
Iiiiiiiiii was that lucky man..........
............
Iiiiiiii.........really thought ,
Iii...was.......
The loves I have held ,
Truth be told ........
I really was........
..........
Wanderlust in love ,
Chemical imbalance,
Butterflies my stomach
like a little too much Vicodin,,,,,
Infatuation  is such a rush,
That sweet sickening rush
Free falling in
In full admittance headlong in love with my addiction to love
Chasing a high ,
As time became a jealous thing
.....faded years from my memories.....spurned .....tiptoed past ,didn't want to disturb me .....
Now I can find no limits ....and even less remittances....  
Lost in limmerance.
Sails are slack ......lost at sea....lonely ...
Darkening the skies
Plumes  of fear
For I know what lies.......
Inside this
Burgeoning Epiphone  .....
Within my minds eye
As everything has dulled around me........
.......(silently picture a reflection of me in a tear drop from my eye caught in a wrinkle I have never seen .......
And I'm trying to avoid awaking...I don't want to see    
Whats become of me ......
I wanna go back and dream ....
Of .........
Me .....
In love .....
With me

In wardly an awkward line ,
Lies........
Somehow betwixt kudos and mockery.
And generally a ***** or an incline
Determination of which ....
Established sadly by the one walking it.
I. E. ME, growing up lacking temperament and confidence,
I told everyone I wanted to be a comedian........
They all laughed at me.......
I took it the wrong way
And tried to be a poet .
I think maybe I was  a little to sensitive....
Life,........
Isn't funny .....
Er idk........
So yah follow your heart .
But have some fun and don't be so ...
Idk .....

Like me ......

It's not an entitlement
Ya'll need to curb that...
K Fur real though
And it's not conceit.
And yes I do  know
The difference between
Want and need.......
Two totally different things
Except,
to me  they share one thing
They're are both something I need!

Serenade me...
my soon to be........
Love..........  .
play 12 string guitar ,
Sitar ........ or just sing
Anything really......
Please .....
Love
find my frequency .....
harmonize
Open mine eyes
And make me ............ ,
Believe I am worthy of someone
.....     Wanting me.
Just one note to cajole
A silhouette of how I used to be
Is all I need
Then I can be me again
Then at least I can dream again.
Breath ..again
Be......
Able ...........
To fade out the scars
The infidel overdosed me in.....

Aqua-marine tourmaline
Turning emerald green evening
Wrist slash ruby red splash feeling
Crystal clear diamond tears glisten bright glimmering.
Flowing from pressure below
Building
Swelling
Wells at the brink
Frigidity super imposed icy wind
Surely shatter
Tungsten carbide lined chest cavity
infrastructure
Freezing
Excruciating
Concentrating all the pain
Radiating from the throat
Swallowing sand covered brick
Abrading slowly
So slowly
At the apex of max capacity
Emotional collapse imminent
Listen ..............millions of
Champagne glasses
Tink ting tingling exhaling
Tears release
Falling like hail at first
Then into a crescendo
Loosing my grip ......I'm slippin
Broken I'm letting go ......
Break down I'm falling winds whistling I can see rock bottom
Phone rings ........ .  .......
It's my ***** .......
He say
..
Bro bro.......
Aint nothin but a thing!
But go ahead and cry if you have to...
It's cool ,ain't no shame .....
(Big baby)
Stf up.
(Whaaa?  
Just saying)
I'm just messin with ya .
My friend is here to console me
Its gonna be
Ayite.

Can I gaze into this cerebral soup,
return with evidence
Suggesting that I have had one second within a lifespan
In wich I could have been found
Void of an agenda.......
I believe this to be a quest
Of a life.... What's good to you
Subconsciously a mind will consume
Every scenario, from one ridiculous
End of the spectrum. To the other
Awake at rest a sleep or talking.
You don't even know that you know.
Find away to transform your muse
To create upon this marble an utopian
Dream ......
Let's all together till we can see
Let's dream and chase this
Together it happens .
Together it's impossible to find anything impossible.....
You will make history
Bend to your script ..
Let's make same team accent .
Lets do it
Let it begin
Now!

Some day I believe
There there will come
A time
In which I might think ,
That I ........
Retrospectively
Wished I would have
Seen this coming..
Then again that would have surely taken some of the fun out of it.
Cause knowing me....
If I had known..............
I dont think I would have done it
I  know I would have done it anyway......
And there's one more  reason why ,
Its so sorta unrewarding
To read books backwards