I’m looking out my window
Watching the ****** snow fall
Wondering all the while
If you will ever call

Why am I so obsessed?
With the thought of you
It’s hard to get myself dressed
Remembering what you put me through

So how do I still long for you
With every breath I take
Every single moment
I think of you when I wake

I want to forget you, I really do
I know so well that we are through
Something inside me keeps holding on
Even though it’s been a year since you’ve been gone

It’s time to let go, as I watch the falling snow
Clean and pure, I’ll think of you no more

Am I in love
Or in love with the idea of being in love
That's there question I ask myself today

I get upset over past relationships gone bad
But did I really want the one that I had?
Or was it the  for passion and romance
That made me want to continue the dance

Love is happy
Love is sad
Sometimes good
Sometimes bad

I need to know when it's time to move on
Stop holding on to what is already gone

Love will come, that's what they say
How will I know he's the one, it's the day?

I must have faith this will be true
What will be will be, I'm still looking for you...

I fly through the sky
With a twinkle in my eye
Don't know where I'll go
But it won't include snow

Sun and the ocean
Is the place for me
Peace and serenity
The way it should be

The warmth brings me away
To a magical place
You can tell I'm in heaven
By the smile engraved on my face

I want to stay here
Let the waves rock me to sleep
I'll be quiet and happy
I won't make a peep

Paradise.

When I think of your lips on mine, I quiver
When I think of your touch, I’m on fire
When I think of your voice, I melt
When I think of how much I love you, I cry
When I think of you with her, I want to ****

Then I wake up
Praying it was a dream
And realize you are gone

The tape replays when I lay my head on my pillow
It is never a dream
But a nightmare

Thorns replace the feathers in my pillow
Reminding me forever…
Of you

What a horrible mistake, the choice that I made
I know it now, but didn’t on that day
I let you go, not once but twice
I took the bait and rolled the dice

I thought it was him
How wrong could I be?
All I can think of now is you and me

He told me he loved me
We’d be as one
Memories of our past
Kept me holding on

I made the choice
It was him
Now my future looks nothing but grim

You’re now with her
Two hearts as one
Engaged to be married
Where do I run?

Here I stand questioning life
Questioning choices I’ve made
Could I have been your wife?

I’m getting to old to fall in love again
I don’t believe I can ever find Zen

So here I sit
Questioning my entire life
My head is filled with nothing but strife

Where do I go from here?
I’m done holding on
I’m all alone, and he is long gone

Love is too painful
I’m full of regret
You’ll always be in my heart
I wish we never met

I write and I write
Until my pen has run dry
My hands are cramped
I'm too tired to cry
I don't care if I'm judged
Writing is my only love
Giving birth every day
For me it is the only way

It’s amazing to me
How in one quick moment
Your life can change completely
For better or for worse

One bad decision
One overlooked detail
It could all change the course of your life
In less than a split second

Your journey is set for you long ago
But we still have the free will
To change it ever so slightly

There is always two endings
To every story
Every novel
And every life

I must smile
I must laugh
Burry away
The pain from the past

I long for the day
When the pain goes away
The past is gone
But the pain lingers on

I wanted it to be fantastic
But it wasn’t
I wanted it to be great
But it wasn’t
I wanted there to be more
But there wasn’t
I wanted some excitement
But there wasn’t
Was it all a dream?
That is the way it seems
I thought it was real
But it wasn’t

Another snowy day ahead
A good day to stay in bed

Put on the fireplace
Release the doves
It's a perfect day to fall in love

Wrapped in big fluffy blankets
By the fire
on the floor
Suddenly there is a knock on the door

Should she answer?
She doesn't know what to do
She peaks through the peep hole
And sees that it's you

She opens the door
His arms grab her tight
Oh how she loves
This winter so white

I remember when
You used to love me
Hold me
Kiss me
Touch me
Caress me
Play with my hair
You’d sit and stare
For hours
We’d talk
And never get bored
We’d laugh and we’d giggle
All through the night
Until the morning sun shinned bright
Coffee we’d share
Outside on the deck
Still touching and teasing
You’d nibble my neck
I’ll never forget you, my love

Majestic trees
Touching the sky
How I wish
I could fly

Fly like a bird
See the world from above
Glide through life
On the wings of a dove

See a different view
of the ground below
Clean and bright
Through the glistening sunlight

My tears will fall
Like raindrops from the clouds
Cleanse the earth
Remove the shroud

I’m so **** funny
I’m so **** great
Then why am I sitting here alone in hate

Hating the world
Nothing is fair
Hating on men
Hating the air

Why be alive
One more day
For what I ask
Take me, I pray

But I keep waking up
Over and over again
Asking the same question
When Lord, when….

Ship has docked
Where is the sea?
I'm all alone
Only me
Sadness overwhelming
Fantasy is over
Back to reality
My lonely life
No one waiting for me at the airport
Take a cab again, alone
Did anyone miss me
even notice I was gone?
If I never came back
Would anyone care
can't think this way, I don't dare
Tears roll down my face
I can't make them stop
I sit and cry
While the ship continues to rock
I'm a scared little girl
Pretending to be strong
while I die a bit everyday
and continue to run away
When's the next trip?

I keep waking up
I don't understand why
I'm happy when I'm dreaming
The day makes me cry

I want to be treated like a lady
NO, make that a Queen
I won’t settle
For anything in-between
I won’t be a doormat for anyone anymore
If that’s what you want, I’ll show you the door
I won’t be your bank or your room and board
You might as well just fall on your sword
I’m waiting for my knight
I know he’s out there
I’m done being used
It just isn’t fair
I will wait forever
I won’t compromise
I’ll know him when I see him
Just one look in his eyes

I woke up today
Good start you say?
All I want to do is play
But I have a very busy day

Work till five, commitments after that
I just want to hide, inside my hat

Take me away
As far as we can go
I need to get away from this hell and this snow

I’ve heard of a place
Magical it seems
Where there is warmth and sun and beautiful moonbeams

*Take me there
I really don’t care
All the things I have to do
I’d rather go far away with you
Take me there

I woke up today
And wondered why
I’m still alive
I did not die

I can’t move my body
Or turn my head
I’m stuck here rotting in my bed

I’ve been a prisoner for many years
I’m all cried out, done shedding tears

This is no life
Don’t they know?
They say they love me
Please help me go

I'm a woman
I'm a mother
I'm faithful
I'm a lover

I believe in romance
Do you want to dance?

Some say I’m crazy
Some say I’m brave
I don’t disagree
I’m just so glad I’ve been saved

My life was a blur
Days rolled into weeks
I had no idea where I was
More valleys than peaks

I began my journey blindly
I could not see
I had no idea
What would happen to me

Today I am happy
That’s all I can say
Thanks to my God
He showed me the way

When did a mouse become a device?
When did we forget how to change a TV channel without a remote?
When did humanity start moving at such a fast pace
That it seems as if everyone is running a race

I long for the days of playing outside
Riding bikes and pretending to hide
We sat on the front porch
And waited for our friends
We thought those nights would never end

Now we don’t talk
We either text or email
Everyone is inside on their phones, looking very sad and pale

When did we lose our souls, when did we say goodbye
To life as we knew it, I just want to cry
It’ll never be the same
It’s such a **** shame
I’m getting tired of playing this game

I'm running again...
Away from myself, away from the *****
Disguised as a vacation, sometimes a cruise
So I run and I run
The camera capturing pictures of fun
The beach, the sun, the sand in my toes
What's in my head, no one can know
I smile, I laugh
As I get on the plane,
I'm ready now to play the game
The happy traveler, alone in my head
Wishing and praying, I was just dead
I'm good at pretending
You'll never know
How unhappy I am
I'll never let it show

Life…
What’s it all about?
All work and no play?
There must be more than that I pray

Twelve hour days or nine to five?
That doesn’t sound like being alive!

We wish our lives away waiting for the proverbial bell to ring
Ding ding the whistle sings
To mark the end of another work day
Except for those crazies who find it necessary to stay

I want to live the life I choose
Not nine to five and hitting snooze

A life that’s full of peace and love
Fly the skies like a snow white dove

Look at you, eyes of blue
I feel like I'm looking right through you
You say you love me
but talk is cheap
you leave me home alone
to wonder and weep
I need to leave, I need to go
If I did, would you even know?
I've been blind, all along
I think of you at every sad song
I feel like a character in a play
That doesn't end well, for me anyway
I'll pack my bags and hit the road
Before I self destruct, and totally implode

When you think it's all over
And you're done with life
Hang in there one more day
Put down the knife

Write a poem
Love yourself
No one else will
They can all go to hell

It's not over
Until the fat lady sings
Wake up tomorrow
And see what she brings

It could be magic
It could be real
As long as you like how it makes you feel

So wake up just one more day
See what the universe has to say
Is this reality, or am I a character in a play
There is no way to truly say

Keep on going, follow Her way
Just live and breathe, each and every day...

The tapestry was hung perfectly on the wall
Telling a story of kings and queens standing tall
Unicorns and castles, green rolling hills
Everyone happy, not a drop of wine would be spilled
People dancing in ballrooms
White horses carrying Shining Knights
Through streets where crowds cheered
All through the night
A perfect woven fantasy taking over the room
Hanging strong and proud, taking away my gloom
I began to melt into the woven cloth
Maybe here I would find my troth
I wanted to stay in this fantasy
A piece of the tapestry I wanted to be
I look at the majestic work of art
I feel the power pulling at my heart

I can't leave my room
I can't leave my space
I'm so sick and tired
Of the human race
I'm strapped to my bed
I was bad last night
It was Lucy this time
But it wasn't a crime
Barry is watchful
Playing it low key
I love them all, they always protect me
the nurse comes in with my meds
the crazy ward, lost in my head
I'll never get bored
I laugh to myself
I'm Charlotte today
I wait till they leave
throw the pills away
Lucy is playful
She wants out of this place
She needs to calm down
Slow down her pace
Alarms going off
Are the coming for me?
Maybe Charlotte or Barry
I can't see
I laugh and I laugh
As they take me away
It's just another beautiful day...
In Ward 8

Have you ever felt
Like crawling out of your skin
Like you’ll just never win

Have you ever felt
Like the walls are closing in around you
And you have no place to run to

Have you ever felt
Like life has already passed you by
You have no tears left to cry

Have you ever felt
What is the point of going on
Every reason to wake up is totally gone

Have you ever felt*
The way I feel
If you do, I hope you will heal

You cheated and left me
Four years ago
You've been crying over this
All the while I've been told

You chose your path
Took the fork in the road
You say you've always loved me
but you've chosen the toad

I finally forgive you
Not for you but for me
I can now cast the memories of you
Deep into the sea

I walked into the ballroom and you were there
With your chiseled face and dark shinny hair
I could hardly catch my breath
I wanted you then
My knees were weak
I couldn't speak
I ran to the bar
Admiring you from afar
I ordered my first *** and coke
The very first sip, I started to choke
I got your attention
As you came near the bar
I gulped down my drink
You shined like a star
Then I saw her
She put her arm through yours
I knew then you were taken
I felt chills and thorns
You both looked so happy
How could that be
I was certain you belonged to me
I ordered another drink and many more
he'll notice me now
As I stagger to the door
I went to my room
Continued to drink
Mini bar was packed
I didn't want to think
When I awoke
I wondered if it was real
I could still see your face
and your eyes of steel
I realized then you were not to be mine
I took out my stash and did a long line
poured another drink
I didn't want to think
Alone again
With my only friend...

She sits on the steps
Holding tightly to the cell phone
Where is he now, she feels all alone
It's dark and it's late
Only one street light
He said he would come
This doesn't feel right
She looks around the empty street
Licking her lip gloss, it tastes so sweet
The cool summer breeze
Keeps blowing her hair
She sits in stillness
Why doesn't he care?
Hours gone by
The sun starting to rise
She feels the tears
Swelling up in her eyes
She goes up to her room
And lies in her bed
Wishing she could turn off the voices in her head
Just another romance gone bad
She feels nothing this time
Not a bit sad
Closes her eyes
And falls finally to sleep
Only then, she allows herself to weep

My tears flow like waves thrusting in the ocean
The pain shooting through my brain is like thousands of tiny needles
Deeper and deeper down to my soul
My body trembles and shakes uncontrollably
Every muscle in my body screams for relief
But none comes…

I push the button next to my bed
I feel the morphine swirling through my veins
Waiting for relief
But none comes

My days are numbered
Just relieve me of this torture
Please make it end
Pull the plug

I love my room
Safe and snug
I love my bed
And bear skin rug

The only thing missing is you my love
Come to me my turtle dove

I want to hold you and kiss your neck
Make wild and crazy love to you on the adjoining deck

There's no reason to ever leave my room
Come my darling, join me in my tomb

Don’t run off, I don’t want to scare you away
I’m sure you’ll have fun if you come out to play

My tongue is deadly
It’s a very strong tool
It’ll take over your body
You’ll be mine to rule

I’ll warn you once
My powers are wicked
Pleasures are many
You’ll soon be addicted

So are you ready for the time of your life
No need to worry, I won’t tell your wife

I would love to just give up
Right now
This very minute
Crawl back into the bottle

Escape
Be free from people
From judgement
From life

Why bother
Two years, twenty years
Do we ever get respect back?
Do we ever get our sanity back?

Overlooked
Underpaid
Just a drunk
Always a drunk
No license?  Oh my!
Humiliation

Does it matter?
Would anyone care?
Or just laugh
With a stupid grin on their face
They were just waiting for it

Little minded people
In big glass houses
Don’t bother throwing stones
The bolder is rolling down the hill
Flying downward, toward you…

I pushed it
Now I need a drink

I wait all alone
Here by the phone
Waiting for your ring
My hearts ready to sing
I guess it's time for me to move on, the ring never comes
I thought this time you were the one
Wrong again
When will I get it right
When will I be able to sleep through the night
"Ring, ring"
You have one missed call...

Don’t get involved with a married man
It’s nothing but trouble
I know this firsthand

They will take your heart
And squeeze it dry
Silence every last beat
And leave you to die

He says you’re the best
Isn’t this fun?
Then goes home to his wife
How was your day hon?

A liar and a cheat
Not true to either one
Does he really think we’re all having fun?

Who has it worst?
Me or her
I get 30 minutes
She gets the fur

There was a time, I do believe
When life was easy, each day was a breeze

It must have been when I was born
Before this world got to me with its prickly thorns

How I wish I could go back in time
Listening to my mother singing nursery rhymes

Every need was cared for, no need for fear
Hardly a reason to shed a tear

No worry of money, a job or a home
As soon as I could crawl, I was free to roam

Now I’m a grownup, at least that’s what I’m told
I look in the mirror and am amazed I got old

I want to be pure again, free from past sin
I would do anything to start over again

And so it goes
And so it goes
She snorts the ******* up her nose
She feels normal now
Or so she thinks
As long as she continues to drink
She can’t run out
No way, no how
Gotta make it last somehow
Eventually the supply runs dry
Is that a tear in her eye?
There’s no more money for her any more
How the hell is she going to score?
What kind of way is this to live?
She has nothing left to give
This life is too hard
Can’t do it alone
She picks up the knife
And cuts her throat
And so it goes….