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Guadalupe S P Feb 2020
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How can I become more of myself?
What can I give?
Have I given enough ?
Whose eyes should I borrow ?
And what shoes should I walk in ?

Judgement does not keep company with truth;
Have I cleared my mind?
Have I opened it wide enough ?
What perspectives need to be placed down?
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Guadalupe S P Oct 2020
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What do you do with love someone will not take?

Where do you place it ?

How should you feel ?

Everyone has their own heart and it is not their fault their does not love yours.
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Guadalupe S P Jan 2021
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I love you, but you never came
I just sat here surrounded by buildings
and people in a neighborhood
within this big, big city
having left it all
and having bought my one way ticket here

I love you, but you have not come
and I have started to memorize the names of street and buildings
within the old neighborhood market:
I know what stand sells what
–having walked into all of them
and having peeked into the busy ones

I love you, but you still are not here
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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Today I empty the chest and release all this longing and all this sadness. They do not suit me well; I think I rather go back to joy and my single cup of tea. The turntable is a good enough companion for me when the evening comes and I want to sing along to Nick Drake or attempt to dance rumba by myself.
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Guadalupe S P Aug 2020
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May the days pass and may you know with all sincerity you are loved.
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Guadalupe S P Oct 2020
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As a child they never called me Guadalupe nor did they call me Lupe.
They called me Lupita and Pita.
Sometimes my parents still call Pita.

I hug my legs
apanasana pose
and I whisper to myself
“hang in there Pita”
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Guadalupe S P May 2021
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it was just that the rain reminded me of you
and I had to hold all the unspoken words
and all my tangled web of misperceptions without clarification in a bag
apart from what you are
who you are
who knows who you are

and I hold what you might think of me in a bag, too

and I know the mind cannot arrive at truth
it can only circle around the field  
and drive itself dizzy
until it collapses

so I close my eyes and try to sense
what does not have words
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Guadalupe S P Jun 2020
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May there
always be kindness
close to you
revealing itself
when you need it most
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Guadalupe S P Aug 2020
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I keep my hope close like a pillow
that I can rest my head upon
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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Under the layer of confusion
is the softness that seems to yield to you
and there you are
amongst all  
shinning never faintly
always brightly
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Guadalupe S P Oct 2020
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When I think of how beautiful the world is I dare not shut my heart to it
I dare not recoil from it; I take it as it is.
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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And the day comes and the sun sets
and still I harbor so much love for you
that it takes me by surprise
and I dissolve like dust in the memory of you
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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Today, I want nothing, and so I have everything I need.
Recently it’s been harder get find these moments during the day, but I’m inching towards expanding them :)
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Guadalupe S P Feb 2021
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I feel this ball of energy entering me
something has come
it has already arrived within me
announced itself
but I cannot yet see it here
in the materials world
but it is deep and makes my heart race
I feel like a bird before a storm or a dog before an earthquake
except what is coming does not feel bad it feel beautiful and rooted in light
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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If I desire to cry I sit there and cry
if the feeling of inadequacy falls over me I take it into my hands and embrace it fully. I feel the not so pleasant, so that I feel the marvelously pleasant things that living has to offer.
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Guadalupe S P Oct 2020
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allow the freshness of the cold air
to let you cry of sadness or of joy
let it purge whatever sits in your chest
so that you can feel so that you can dream,
because you ought to believe in the kinder things
and reach for them with might and tenderness
hold your arms out towards the most beautiful of visions
of what your life can be
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Guadalupe S P Nov 2020
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I will look at all the lovely flowers that tilt my way and thank them for such lovely a gift is their presence
that I could cry at their beauty
at their kindness
so when I look at them I try to hold back my tears of gratitude
I can only stare at them and smile
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Guadalupe S P Oct 2020
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You crackle like an ember
and I know life is still burning within you. .

Just be what you are. I enjoy that,
I respect that from  the fiery depths
of this blazing lifetime
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Guadalupe S P Nov 2020
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Today is a Sade kind of day
rest and lay down over the smooth
blanket that is her voice
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Guadalupe S P Nov 2020
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A life yet to come
I think this world is so beautiful  
even when most things do not go my way
I linger under a ginkgo tree mesmerized
at at how lovely the yellow leaves in winter
look against the night sky

after this lifetime –make me light
after I have emptied myself out –disperse me
.









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I can feel how impermanent this world is
and how solid and unchanging the unseeable one truly is
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Guadalupe S P May 2021
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Hi little star we made many mistakes
tumbled to the mercy of old habits
found at the very tips of our being
touched deep wells of sorrow

little star there is nothing I want more
than to make sure your path gets better
and that from here on I am better, too

we did really roll down the hill and into the lake, but moving in water is starting to feel refreshing

we made many errors but that is what takes me from pain to humbleness  to continual humbleness  to refreshing humbleness to liberating encompassing humbleness
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Guadalupe S P Mar 2021
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There is always hope to lift us in the morning hours and gently guide us
quietly without a word

Hope that presses against us like a little purring cat
like the penetrating ray of light
that comes in through the window
and bathes the whole room

There is always hope

and if we have it and we add to it courage
then there is no need to despair
we can change anything
how lucky are we that a few decisions
can bring about inner change
and in turn outer change to
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i keep a wrapper
tucked in the corner
of my wide-leg
jeans with a little
offering: a small
keychain dream
i can hang
from pair of keys
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Guadalupe S P Jun 2020
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behind the big wave
is grace
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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Casting all the fears aside rapidly
before they cling like mussels
to the beams below my mental pier’s walkway

Casting them all aside
because I would rather try to understand you, than let these thoughts grow thicker

Casting them
because I indeed long to know you better
know the mighty lovely things about you and the not so lovely things too
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Guadalupe S P Nov 2020
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We need to live and breathe and mingle with the joys of life
we cannot sever connections to the earth or any “them” energy flows from one to another as we are the one
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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I need someone who genuinely cares about me
who doesn’t need to will themselves to love me, but that in their heart knows they would like to greet each day by my side

I need a hand sometimes. I can handle my own, but it would nice to have someone show up for me.

To take a walk with or invite me out for cup of tea

Someone who wants to know how I am doing. If I am okay?someone I can turn to and feel comforted and loved by even if we don’t have much

Someone I could talk to, that could speak back to me

Someone who helps me grow and looks at me with eyes of compassion and gives their smile to me as a gift
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Guadalupe S P Feb 2021
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I am the maker of my destiny.
Writer, pilot, sailor of the raft;
I am responsible for my own life
for my own joy –no one else.
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Guadalupe S P Oct 2020
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Do not underestimate
how lovely I think you are
If it has been unsaid
if I forgot to tell you,
forgive me

I dig my head in books, I stop and stare at leaves
I just assumed you could feel my love
the way the we feel the wind over ours skins
So forgive me, I tried
many times to tell you
that you mean so much to me
that at my core you sit
and you never leave me
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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You are free
my palm is open
fly where you please

it is a beautiful world
and it is all yours
this lifetime is precious

I would never clench my fist
or cup you within my two hands
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Guadalupe S P Jul 2020
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May it pull all your seams
tightly together so that today
you feel whole

May your eyes source the world
catalogue its pieces
so that in silence you fall gently
into its beauty
again, and again and again
Until you dissolve
into it’s charm
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Guadalupe S P Jan 2021
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It is about timing
and the willingness to act
I had the willingness but never the timing

Half of it is grace and the other is your own hand
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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Are you ashamed to love me?
If yes, then you are not right for me.
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Guadalupe S P Aug 2020
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You feel genuine to me
natural
a breeze with the right temperature
a soulful hand with profound brown eyes that sail like ships through this life’s ocean
your mainsail and jib that have weathered storms give me the courage to steer
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Guadalupe S P Jan 2021
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Who is to know
folding inward
and outward
my whole body is a pulsing heart
and you have got it
in dreams
and in life brown eyes
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Guadalupe S P Feb 2021
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I do not always have to do it alone
I always felt I had to but I am more open to receiving help now; I am more open to resting my head over a shoulder and admitting my own limitations
I am not ashamed of being imperfect I am blessed by it because I can see that I am just like everyone else
and I like that ordinary people can do extraordinary things together
nourishing one another for as long as skin, body, and who knows maybe even spirit goes
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Guadalupe S P Aug 2020
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There is a loving stream of light that embraces me. Never too far and never too weak in presence –always guiding me sheltering me with warmth. Years smile at this bravery to live and this inescapable joy to be authentic, authentic for the sake of my own happiness.
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Guadalupe S P May 2021
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And there
and here
I transform
what you give me
all the splinters
****** to open
a small surface protruding
into my life
but with intention
find it laying over a flower
Over the smile of a stranger
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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All I have left behind is dissolving into the past
crumbling most of it
but it was necessary
for it prepared me for the now

to embrace you
to embrace whatever form you take
whatever song your life sings
whatever mood swings into gear within you

No matter the norms, the age gap, the multiple reasons someone might wave their finger at me or frown at my direction while thinking I’m out of mind

If you are a go, then baby I am a go
...ready as could be
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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It does not feel great to be last on the list
nor does it feel great to be ignored
or to be forgotten
to not receive an apology
or any form of communication

it does not feel soothing
or healthy, nor loving and not even  friendly to be treated in such manner

it feels like punishment
for being a flawed human being that regardless of mistakes deserves to be appreciated, valued and not taken for granted
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Guadalupe S P Jul 2020
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May whatever comes your way dear
make ya' smile
may whatever view is framed
by your window awaken the timeless
beauty in ya'
for you too are reflected within it
let the swaying trees outside gently whisper 
towards your direction  "you are our brother"
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Guadalupe S P May 2021
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I want to write about the way the stars swallowed with matter the emptiness
and how the moons began to orbit the planets and how the planets became
silent floating dreamers
witnessing a red giant’s combustion
the ardent way a life burns bright in the midst of such a universe as our
all inevitably traveling towards extinguishment

It is today I want to write about all the possible impossibles that brought me here
I sitting on an orbiting rock
my chest rising and falling with bones just below flesh and arteries pumping rivers of red blood through me
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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I lean further in
because from afar
everything is abstract
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Guadalupe S P Jan 2021
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Sleep with love in your heart
tomorrow is a new day
rest, close your beautiful eyes
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Guadalupe S P Jul 2020
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At random hours of the day
I feel a warm pulse in my chest
and the image of you surges from the depths of my mind
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Guadalupe S P Nov 2020
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I hope I was as kind as possible
that I showed up when it mattered
even if it was not at your timing
and that I tried to lift you
higher
maybe in a young, shaky and clumsily way
but I sure hope it was higher

I hope I was gentle
what I do to others is already done unto me
I hope I lifted you higher
I can only hope
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Guadalupe S P Jul 2020
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I think you would find me silly
for closing my eyes not just for the purpose of sleep but for the purpose of seeing your face in a lucid dream
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Guadalupe S P Dec 2020
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It transcends me
it goes right through me
it is linked
I accept it
I will walk with this
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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You sneak into my mind and I so joyfully want to welcome you in
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Guadalupe S P Sep 2020
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I have faith in all the beautiful things this world has to offer
I have a corner tucked so deep inside my chest nothing touches it
there I keep my fire
there I keep my hope
there the light abides
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