God
if they only knew
they would be queueing up
just
to have a conversation
with you

I think
I am so completely lost now
without your face
Your embrace
too far away
your smile distant
your words
nonexistent
your presence
forever
Omniscient

I see you
even now
after these long years
I know you
your tears
always
more visible
than your fears

This is not enough
I am lost
furious
incomplete
I am bored
with myself
and you
and this house
and this life
I am off
Yes
I am off
watch me go
watch me
and  know this
if you know nothing
else
I am going
nowhere
absolutely nowhere
without you!

I know you couldn’t leave me
if you tried
You know I couldn’t leave you
if I tried
and so the golden ink
of trying
burns sacred scars
upon our souls.

I may not be in love
but let me tell you
how that feels

Good

I don’t want to say
goodbye
before I have left you
don’t want to see you
cry
before I die
   .

This love is good enough for me
this love will more than see me through
I’m pulling up the shutters
taking off my shoes
this love
your love
totally
hands down
this love
is
way
way
good enough
for me.

I am throwing a rope here
Grab it
If you can
Not sure if
I am strong enough to hold us
But God knows I will try
Who cares
We will go down together
Or rise
Phoenix like
Into tomorrow
And one more glorious day

I am sitting here
wondering
If it is worth the effort
To go to the lovely neighbour’s  barbecue
And also why I spell the word barbecue
With a C and not a Q
probably
I think
most likely
It’s probably
just for
You

Permission
granted
To forget all about me
As you were
Soldier
Stand down.

I am sorry
for the burden
I handed you
at birth
I am sorry
for the complications
and all
the family hurt
I am sorry
you are you
I am sorry
I am me
but dear god
above me
forgive me
I am so grateful
we are we.

Your flowers arrived
before you
you always like
to guarantee
a smile.

you said you
didn’t mean it
I guess
that makes it
all okay.

All I can do
as the red *** sun rises
is smile
at the night we just had
even  given
it’s guises

You live on hallowed ground
he said
I know
I said
wouldn’t you like to live there
too

I think our love
a little bit saggy now
no dancing beneath the stars
no hanging in late night bars
more sunrise
than sunset
but still
I’m hanging with
you!

I don’t know what happy
is anymore
I can’t feel it in my
core
life is now about evening up
the score
which means
happy
can’t live inside me
anymore

Let’s choose
happy

the dark skies and gloom
you say are
in front of you
look like fairy tales
and sunny skies
to me
so put your happy hat on
jump outside
capture a cloud
and if you can’t
just put your
happy hat on
anyway
in case
I am right
and
you are wrong

The children are all
gone now
just me and you
left
to haunt these halls

I ask you to hear me
you say you do
and I believe you try
but you listen
with light ears
so the weight of my words
don’t keep you awake
all night.

I hear you
I am not listening
yet somehow
within the silence
I hear you.
still,

I hear you
I heard you
yesterday
and all the other days
when
you had nothing
good to say
what makes you
think
I can’t hear you
today
when you
yet again
have nothing good to
say.?

I only stopped speaking
when you choose
not to hear.

This heart is not yours
To break
This girl is not yours
To forsake

I tell them everyday
Be careful who you give your heart to
But they give it anyway
I can’t complain
I did the same

For gods sake
just leave it
I said
I no longer care
I said
too much work
I said
walk away
I said  
I don’t need this
I  said
bore off
I said
I am better than this
I said
just leave
I said
and **** me
he did!

KUDOS!!!

Merry Christmas guys!
Thank you for the reads in 21
See you in 22!

Oh hello
Sorry
Who are you looking for?
No trouble
Do come in
Who are you looking for ?
Oh yes...... I know who you mean
No.........sorry
She left here years ago
nobody really knows
whatever
Became of her .....

We have been here
so many times before
in the name of sanity
and more
please let’s not choose to go
here
anymore

even when
I wasn’t in love
with you
when I couldn’t
catch the feeling
even when
the two of us
were lost in
a New York evening
even when
we were drowning in
noise and confusion
even when
we saw life
in different colours
even when
you were big
and I was small
even when
I was big
and you were small
even when I was here
and you were gone
even when you were there
and I was gone
even then
even then
I knew we’d get here
arrival times may differ
check with your carrier
but I knew we’d get here
even then
somehow
I knew we’d get here
and against the odds
*******
here we are
have we got there
are we here?

I believe
at some point
you’ve  got to decide
Whether to shout out loud
Or run home and hide

There is a small town girl
about me
that I lost
but still admire
when the lights go down
in New York City
is this really me
left out to dry
and for hire?

This might just be the end
hold your breath
we’re sinking fast
hold your breath
we’re going down
hold your breath
and pray

Hold your breath
We’re going down fast
and deep
hold your breath
and me
we are sinking so fast
it’s not possible
we could
ever last

Oddly I breathe
a little better
smile a little better
wake up a little better
behave a lot less better
am myself a little better
when I am at home
doing better better things
with you

Can I take you home?
Absolutely !
If you can help me find one
I can call my own.

No one wants  to stand out
or stand alone
no one.is brave enough
so we all just faff about
and then
wander home
except
my son

when you came
to take me home I
went willingly
took your hand
easily
then you made
too many left turns
led me down
too many
blind alleys
left me more lost
that I was before
you came and said
let me take you
home.
I am safe
and so are you
you are home.

Let’s take the long way home
For sure it’s darker
And a lot unknown
But who knows what we might discover
Under cover
Of the darkness
On the long way home

Said he would build me
an honest home
and in fairness
he did

I heard you came home. last night
or the night before
our town is a small town
news is never quite up to date
still
I heard you came home last night
and  I wonder
what the **** does that
feel like?

I see you
and you look like home
I turn away
but home is always where
the heart is.

we are both
far  enough away
and clever enough
to know
it will take
the two of us
a monumental climb
a torrential will
and a beat
to see
what we’re leaving
behind
see the light
mull it over
chew the cud
decide
if we ever want
to
be
home again.

Let me be
one hundred percent honest
with you
I  have never
ever been
one hundred percent  honest
with anyone
including you
and that
my friend
is
one hundred percent true
honest
totally and completely
true
although I have never been
one hundred percent honest
or true
with anyone
including you.

In all honesty
so far
in my life
I have at least
spoken
two billion words
that were
untrue
how about you?

Don’t look to me for honesty
For honestly
Not sure if I can give it
Don’t look to me for truth
For truthfully
Not sure if I can do it
Don’t look to me for trust
For trust me
Not sure if I can find it
Don’t look to me for faith
For faithfully
Never seem to find it
Don’t look to me for love
For lovingly I’ll decline it
For everything else
I’m your woman !

Everything
I have ever said
Believe me
in all truth
I honestly
have
over said
to everyone else