My words are much too big
no one will receive them
so they bounce around the room
I certainly can’t retrieve them
so we sit and smile
eat cake
have tea
Ignore them
But they are out there now
*******
my big words
bouncing around
like mad things
Lovely
honest yet
Ignored

You have been here so long
just on the right side of me
that sometimes
I forget
when shiny things
shine down on  me
that
you are still here
as always
just on the right side of me.

give me a reason
just one
even a little one
a pebble
if you will
then maybe
just maybe
I will change
it only takes a truth
at least half of one
to turn
desperation
into hope.

How come
you whisper
and I hear
a roar ?

how will I remember
what love feels like
when days are too long
devoid of song
and sound
how will I remember
what touch feels like
when rooms are dark
the light too stark
how will I remember
what real feels like
when words are few
and I don’t have you

Happy ending presented itself
at my door last night
I recoiled at the sight
I would much prefer
to howl into the night
Isn’t that right?

How many people
do you honestly
really seriously really
really love
in the world
tonight
count then
on one hand
if you can
how many?
cherish them
and love them
tonight
or tomorrow
if you can.

when everybody left
you stayed
I like that
in a human

There is
A strange rope around
My soul
Please don’t pull
I will break
into tiny pieces
Of human glass
Fragile
Easily shattered
Please don’t pull
I will
Break
I am fragile
I am lost

There are more than one hundred ways
to get out of this
and more than a hundred  reasons to stay
I ponder both questions
each
and
every
single
day

You left last night
in a hurry
but you left tiny bits of yourself
scattered
in a bit of a flurry
not sure what to do with them now
seems wrong to sweep them away
still
you were the one who left last night
in a bit of a hurry

it may hurt to be me
but it hurts more
to be me
with you.

If
I could be a
superpower
I would probably
or maybe
definitely
at least sometimes
if not most times
most likely
I would probably
I guess
I would choose
you
If I could be a
superpower
Yeah
I think I would
probably
maybe
choose
You

You said there was nothing
You wouldn’t do
I said there was nowhere
I wouldn’t go
So between us there was nothing
We wouldn’t chase
Let’s get on with it then
Blatantly
Between you and me
There is nothing
We can’t face.

You are
the constant
I struggle
to be

Hush now
Let’s be still
let the dark navy blue majestic sky
quieten  your cry

I am so bored with being
a pedestrian
tomorrow
I am going to jump on your bike
or hyjack your
car

I am not your
beautiful
anymore

There is no smile
as wide as my smile
when you and
I
yet again
manage to navigate
another
heartfelt
difficult
painful
mile

You asked for truth
I tried.

I am free falling into winter
summer echos
in my head
I cannot cling on
to sunny days
dusty evenings
romantic haze
I cannot prevent the chill
the hail crashing over the hill
I am free falling into winter
crying ice tears
against my will.

If it was just left to all of us
I think we could find a way
To live
And die
And pray
Each in our own way
I’m sure that  would be okay
With all of us
If only
We could find a way
To just let it be
Alone
With all of us.

There is a man in my life
says he knows who I am
even knows my name
calls me by it everyday
how strange
I don’t know his name
although
I might have
maybe even would have
probably could have
if………

If I am in your way
a gentle nudge
will dislodge
my love

If you could only meet me
somewhere
tonight.

If I had one wish
It would be that someone
someday
could really see me
feel me
touch me
hear me
If I had one wish
It would be that someone
someday
Could really know me
love me
hold me
just once
for once
If I had one wish
It would be that...........

If I could just
for one minute
truly be myself
and pour me into the world
undiluted
I would poison
everyone I touched
I would ****
the pure
and obscure
I would flood the world
with truth
and pictures
and memories
of their youth

Sleep easy, he said
if only
but never again with you
I thought.

I give her to you
my love has died
give her everything
I would have
if only I had tried

It is the eve of reckoning
I fear
Speak now
Speak out
Speak loud
or quietly
suffocate in your brothers
sighs

Imagine my surprise
after all the glamour
and the flowers

I will loosen my hold on you
no questions
no answers
if you will too
imagine
we could both fly free
imagine
the people we could
be

Imagine
what we could have been
if we had only
tried

Imagine my surprise
when I looked in your eyes
and realised
exactly who you are

Sometimes
love
disguises itself
like someone
you used to trust
but in between
you grew up

In between
Everywhere
I have been
And in between
Everything I have seen
In between
The desperate
late night calls
I want you to know
That
In between
It all
Honestly
I know it doesn’t show but
Honestly
In between it all
I am
honestly
doing
Okay

Was there a warning bell I missed?
A buzzer
A loud shrill
To alert me
An alarm bell
to tell me
Of impending pain?
Incoming missile
Lie low
Danger afoot
Go slow
Was there a warning bell
I missed
Don’t trust
Go slow
Be alert
Lie low

My being is slipping
through your fingers now
like sand
the me I used to be
falling at your feet
tiny graduals of me
irritatingly present
transparent
incomplete

When you find yourself
in the inkwell of life
navy dark blue
drowning the light
be glad
you are  but a few
drowning in the liquid
that brings words
to life

I am laughing out loud
this much is true
Please know
I am dying inside

Nobody asked
so nobody told
instead
we threw our heads back
and laughed
out loud
me too

Blue, green, navy, red
lets find our own colour
instead.

Write from the heart
Otherwise
let the words go
unsaid
instead

When you said
you were sorry
I thought
you meant it

I will send flowers
or a plane
if that’s what it takes
just come home
for another minute

You already live your life
out loud
don’t stop
it will save you

Thank you
for seeing right through
who I try to be
reaching into
the core of me
laughing at who
I think I should be
and loving
the girl
I ended up
to be.

When we were young
we said let it come
if it rained
we had an umbrella
if it snowed
we had a plough
If it iced
we had a ski
if it stormed
we had shelter
if it darkened
we had light
if it was fire
we had water
if it was old
we were young
if it was too much
we were one.

I know
everyday
you watch over me
and my ridiculous
struggle
to simply just
Be.