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 Jun 27 Nicole
alia
Scary
 Jun 27 Nicole
alia
I’ve always wondered—
if I spoke more,
smiled more,
would I still seem scary?

Would my words
come out soft,
or sharp like they imagine?

Even I don’t know
why I wear this face.
Maybe I’ve forgotten
how to take it off.

Or maybe,
I’m just afraid
you won’t like
what’s underneath.
I'll never surrender,
Not a pretender,
Just a fighter.

Not chasing demons,
They chase me.
I'll keep on fighting.

Day or night,
I fight.
 Jun 27 Nicole
lizie
i don’t want you
to worry.
i just want you
to stay.

i’ll say
i’m fine.
just don’t
go away.
 Jun 26 Nicole
Liana
Can't cut
 Jun 26 Nicole
Liana
I can't cut
No more
No
No
No
I promised

But the feelings are so strong
Overflowing me
I need them to pour down my arm
And out of my body

I can't
I can't be that weak
I just need to breathe
...
My lungs fail me

But no
No
No
I can't reach for it
Not allowed
Not anymore
Done with that, right?
I really just want to grab the knife
Razor
Needle
Anything
And end this misery
At least soothe it a little

But no
No
No
No
I can't
Trying to quit so so hard, haven't done anything yet
 Jun 26 Nicole
bleedingink
what would happen if i just let everything stop? let the world go quiet,
the edges fuzzy,
slowly going black?
if the ocean would carry me
it'll collapse under the weight of my bones
made with cement and steel
and the burden each brick owns

witness the waves howler and scream
just like the heart caged in my chest
blood bubbling around the muscle
surging with every beat and protest

the bottom of the sea may be quiet
like my tongue folded neatly in my mouth
though feral beasts deep within
choke with pressure more than i can count

the ocean and i are seperate
both flowers from different gardens
one ephemeral, one wilting before your eyes
but both's head tilting up to the heavens

sorrowful eyes, swirling, storm awakening
chaos mingling betwixt water and blood
ravid souls in dire need of feeding
cursed and blessed by god

i wonder if i could carry the ocean
within just the corners of my palm
i and the ocean - we are one
a catastrophe after the calm
i love the ocean. it makes you feel a lot of things.
 Jun 26 Nicole
1DNA
~
When light falls
To horizon’s brink,
Brave legacies rise
From the darkest ink.

When all is dark,
And gold weeps bleak,
Abysmal words
Reflect what we seek.

~
I finally got it in italics!
Close the door
slip the latch and let it fall
I am sad to say farewell
but I must leave you all,
imagine me at peace
freed from earthly things,
I am the autumn breeze
a winter wind that sings,
I am rain, I am sky,
a part of everything,
we did not say goodbye,
I am summer, I am spring
blossom, light as air,
don't think of me as gone
look around and I’ll be there
I have written this for my dad's funeral, which is in a couple of weeks
 Jun 26 Nicole
Soph
Glue
 Jun 26 Nicole
Soph
Old habits stick
Like I'm covered in glue
It makes me sick
I can't get them off
No matter what I do

They stain my hands
Stick to my skin
They're outside of me
And within

I try to peel
To scrub and change
But healing and growth
Still feels strange
 Jun 26 Nicole
Piyush
Patience,
A little more patience.
Wait through the days,
With no expectations.

Dedication,
Followed by frustration.
I live in imagination,
Devoid of reciprocation.

Communication,
To sort the relation.
Before you fade,
Into silent celebration.

Desperation,
Still the hesitation.
Locked in forever,
In this realization.
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