People change.
I realized that in the last couple of years.
I watch some of the best people in my life I once loved grow into something else.
Or someone else.
It's weird watching the people you knew before you was even able to walk grow into someone else.
I know everyone goes through it.
Maturity.
And not everyone turns out what you thought. Maybe my problem was that I wanted everything to stay the same. A safe zone I guess you could call it.

I realized there are two different things you can change into. Or two different roads you could say. Or the simple good vs bad. Maybe it's the coincidence that everyone I grew up with took the opposite direction I thought they would of never went. I talked to my Dad once about change. How I told him that seeing people change hurts. He told me seeing people change isn't what hurts, it remembering what they use to be. And I have to be honest that was one of the few times I didn't argue back. I realized he was right. I hated what the people I once called my life turn into something I hate. So pretty much the people I know became people I knew. It's really funny too when they told you many times that they aren't going to be something, surprise us both, and do what they said they wouldn't do.

But there's one thing I'm afraid of. What if the person I was so sure I knew, the person I knew before  I was even born wasn't even the person I thought I knew, but instead they took off a mask. That they didn't change, they just revealed who they really are. I think I would rather think they changed then they revealed.


Or maybe people don't change, but their priorities do.


In the end though, it's hard to watch people change, and it's harder remembering.


But recently I learned that people also change to better themselves. I learned that life is about changing for the better. If you had to let go of some people along the way, then go ahead. Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control in what you do have power over. I always known that I couldn't change people's decisions. But I could change mines. Even though I'm still figuring out things for myself, I know I'm in control in the road I want to take.


Now the funny part is I just need to take my own advise I'm giving myself instead of being scared.

Imagination game
Is it real
It's in my head
I'm screaming that it's not
I imagine what would happen if it was
I can feel water in my eyes
I can feel the sob building up
And I hear myself speaking to God
Something I never really do
And I'm begging and asking
And I'm hoping I'm not sobbing
If this is how I act just thinking about it
I know I'm done for if it is...
I think I'll be a zombie
Alive but not
So please God
Don't let this be an imagination game
I don't want to be an imagination game

Apparently being stupid is a smart decision.....? That doesn't even make sense and it ****** me off to even think what it could mean when really it means absolutely nothing.

But common sense tells you being smart helps you make smart decisions, and being idiotic makes you make stupid decisions. But I guess how everything is today the most idiotic person can make perhaps the smartest decisions. Or maybe when it says being stupid as in acting like nothing happens or not seeing anything and keep moving is a smart decision.

"Being stupid is a smart decision"

That ****** me off.

I start with my left hand.
On the one finger.
On the fourth D going up.
I create the rhythm.
Humming long with it
, the same tone,
boring but safe.
Where I am comfortable.
Where I think I am happy.

Then my right hand starts.
Higher.
On the fourth D going down
. Almost the same rhythm as the left,
but so much more.
It changed.
The keys changed and the tone changed
. Majestically and brave and forever changing in excitement.
Out my comfort zone,
but craving to be by its side.

The left follows along with the right,
two different sounds. One bringing the other life,
giving it melody.

That's what you are to me.
My melody.

I started thinking.
I stopped ignoring.
I keep things in my mind.
I'm starting to get ****** more.
My smiles isn't fake as much anymore. I'm starting to get confused and I'm questioning too much.

I broke my need to know bases rule.

I'm so use to the same thing. Same routine.

It was my alley and shelter.
And I honestly didn't care. Or mind
But...